It seems like for the Nth summer in a row, the great minds in the Hollywood dream factory are officially out of ideas. Our question is: Why?
The series concludes.
Cracked's best writers highlight the disturbing logical implications of Back to the Future. Incest, suspected infedelity, rape, danger sluts, Calvin Kline, and white people started black history. Also, you ladies might want to stay away from Chuck Berry's restroom.
Think your high school sucked? Try attending one of these..
You should never lose sight of your priorities, even during the apocalypse.
Seriously? You don't feel the need to let those of us with nuclear weapons in on the dark wizard threatening to end the world?
Like "The Wire," but everyone's Omar.
In the wake of the astrological sign changes, a brand new episode of After Hours asks, "Wouldn't it be easier to just follow the astrology of the Ninja Turtles?"
A brand spanking new episode of After Hours where we discuss women's rights, but only in a galaxy far far away.
At some point vampires went from monster to sex symbol. We explain why.
Bruce Wayne could probably be prosecuted for his work as Wayne Enterprises CEO. And it's all so he can fight crime less efficiently than the police.
You only get one super power. Choose wisely.
If you could live in any TV commercial universe, which would you pick? Choose wisely.
A brand new After Hours gets to the heart of why you wet the bed until you were eleven.
Cracked After Hours returns on the wings- er...the raccoon tail of a cultural hero.
Behind every boring ice-breaker, there is a much better question waiting to be asked.
ED-209? Terminators? You don't need to go to sci-fi for the most terrifyingly likely robot uprising. It's already started.
When you actually connect the dots, sitcoms feature lots of creepy subplots, disappearing characters, and plenty of subtext that makes the laugh track sound pretty damn nervous ...
Think twice about your prayers each night to Q, Trekkies. There are a lot of good reasons why you'd hate living on the Enterprise.
And yet, why isn't PETA calling out these monsters? We think it's because Big Gaming is paying them to look the other way.
New episode of Cracked After Hours about why teens are afraid of cars, Brits are afraid of urban murderers and the whole world is afraid of aliens.
'Toy Story' is secretly about slavery, but when you put them all together, you get an even creepier universe.
Indiana Jones is awesome to watch, and terrible to be around in just about any other context. We explain why.
Even the most groundbreaking TV shows all follow an extremely specific formula.
But as the trailer for Skyfall proves, at least he can still stick a landing.
Disney teaches terrible lessons to kids all the time.
With Great Power, Comes Great Something Something.
All the reasons Kate Hudson movies are worse for you than torture porn.
Besides having to listen to Gilbert Gottfried for over an hour.
All those lost boys and pirates crossing swords... how did we not see this sooner?
Jawas are evil.
When in doubt, do the "boom box."
This movie is more horrifying than we thought initially.
Once more, Hollywood has been lying to us our whole lives.
You probably shouldn't be letting your kids watch these movies.
Never trust a man with crazy hair and a sweet car he thinks is a time machine.
Feminism 101 syllabus: Watch 'Animaniacs' and 'Super Troopers.'
To put it frankly: Jedi are idiots.
So ... is it, like, cool for us to wear our 'Team Sauron' shirts now?
All the lying and deceit to your family is totally worth it, though.
Turns out the Simpsons are way more messed up than we thought. Like, depressingly so.
All the really awesome aliens are really, really bad at being aliens.
Rule No. 1 in comics: If a person is bald, there is a good chance they're actually evil.
We don't even like walking around our own planet, why are game developers making us walk around their made-up ones?
Although, living inside 'The Jetsons' universe would be really fun.
There are no heroes in romantic comedies.
He doesn't even have a cool name. 'Steve.' What kind of name is that for a superhero?
You'll pretty much never be able to watch these movies the same way again. Sorry.
We're guessing sitcom writers in the '80s had some really messed up mother issues.
Wait. Does this mean we're all supposed to have no more than four fingers on each hand?
We can all probably agree that we don't want to live in the kingdom with the talking hyenas.
When we can't even play video games to escape doing work, life is truly depressing.
Grocery stores are better at screwing with your head than they are keeping their shelves stocked.
Unless you're a billionaire playboy or, like, super-duper strong, living in a superhero movie is like playing Russian Roulette.
90s movies, like Heavyweights and Hook, were great tutorials on how to torture and murder adults while making kids believe all those violent acts of trauma wouldn't leave any permanent damage.
If this "all Arnold Schwarzenegger movies are in the same universe" fan theory turns out to be true, the Terminator has an unhealthy obsession with Danny DeVito
If you're wondering why all your 'Friends's and 'Seinfeld's and 'Mad About You's disappeared, you can thank Osama.
As far as TV/Movie villains go, If faced with picking Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones, The Joker from The Dark Knight or Scar from Lion King OR... let's say Donald Trump as your president, the clear choice is pretty obvious... It's the Borg.
Marvel movies leave more mysteries than they solve. Like, whose job was it to tell Captain America his heroics did precisely nothing to end World War II? And when's the last time The Hulk was able to have an orgasm? And who taught Star-Lord about puberty? Man, this is awkward.
Time-traveling might be a great idea on paper but, upon closer examination, it's probably best to stick to your own space-time continuum where you can make a BLT without being burned at the stake for being a witch.
There are plenty of discussions out there about who the best Disney Princess is, but let's have an honest conversation about who the best Prince is and which one you would want to date. Or, you know, at least who the best is out of Beast from Beauty and the Beast, Prince Charming, Simba, Aladdin, and the one from 'Little Mermaid.'
Think time travel is confusing? Marty McFly has nothing on a week in the life of Ripley from Alien. Or Nick Fury.
Modern movie ghosts seem pretty considerate. Like, the ghost from 'Sinister' seems like a pretty patient babysitter. Who wouldn't want that?
Soren, Katie, Michael, and Daniel argue the pros and cons of being a ghost in the films Ghostbusters, Casper, Ghost, and the less-than-classic R.I.P.D.
The gang gets together for a frank discussion of what happens after you die (in movies like Disney’s Hercules and Bedazzled), on a quest of spiritual discovery to uncover which movie has the best version of being in the bad place for eternity.