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Private Notes
Mark Corrigan, when he's not committing social atrocities in front of his friends, family, employers, coworkers, or random strangers, often commits them in front of the various loves of his life. In his latest desperate ploy for domestic bliss, he mashes together his romantic cheesy pasta dinner with some hastily procured pantry items - with lots of lettuce. Start 2018 off on a painfully awkward note with Mark's 'Moroccan' pasta and cocktails.
While Seymour Skinner's tour in Vietnam sounds a bit cushy, there's no doubt that he's dutifully served our country - more so by even trying to get Bart Simpson through middle school. As the cold weather makes its final offense, indulge in the 4-rice 2-seafood stew of Skinner's shellshocked memory - or cram some neon-colored cheese into a sandwich and pretend you're Ralph Wiggum.
This week we're celebrating hitting 2 million subscribers with maybe the most cartoonish cartoon food ever imagined: the every-meat burrito. While we were unable to procure any giraffe, jackal, or naked mole rat, the combination of every commercially-available meat ended up tasting like something far worse than chicken. Follow along as we get that taste out of our mouth with the every-pork burrito!
Don Draper likes his french toast the way he likes himself - drenched in booze. An over-proofed brioche, a cabin in the woods, two accidental audio glitches, and a whole lot of dark rum are at the center of this week's revisiting of Madison Avenue's frequent clashes of food and alcohol. Enjoy with a Lucky Strike.
Toad in a hole. Spit in the ocean. One-eyed jack. Eggy in a basket. Gashouse eggs. All names for one delightfully simple treat: an egg fried into a piece of toast. Follow along this week as we recreate the breakfast mainstay made famous by Mary Jane's Pa. And Moonstruck. And V for Vendetta, Moons Over Miami, Friends, The Meddlers, Lucifer, and Frasier.
"We need to cook" takes on nefarious new meaning when grumbled by everyone's favorite sociopathic chemistry teacher - or his meth head sidekick. Breaking Bad assaults the senses with striking visuals and heart wrenching storylines, all while teasing the tastebuds with promises of dipping sticks. Follow along this week as we whip up a batch of slightly-less-illicit crystal blue persuasion. Bitch.
As luck would have it, I was in an all-male version of "The Mikado" at Oxford. People still ask to see my Yum-Yum!
Carl Casper is normally a pretty chill dude - but smugly shit on his shit,
and you will catch the wrath of a man amidst a full-blown creative crisis. Follow along this week as we join the star of and culinary brains behind 'Chef' in this, our fourth foray into Favreauvian film food.
A huge and heartfelt thanks to Jon Favreau and Roy Choi, I had an absolute blast making cakes with you guys!!
Pixar's latest laser-guided annihilator of heartstrings, Coco, starts off in the sunny Mexican town of Santa Cecilia, where 12-year-old Miguel's abulea does two things very well: staving off music of any kind, and slinging tamales. These little packets of south-of-the-border love can be tricky and time-consuming, but make for the perfect Oscar party snack next week when we watch Coco inevitably lose the trophy to Boss Baby.
Walter Mitty is best known for his wild imagination, profound character arc, and penchant for Papa Johns, Cinnabon, eHarmony, Air Greenland, and a host of other popular products. He, some eastern European sailors, and some warlords on horseback also share a soft spot for Walter's Mother's Clementine Cake. Follow along this week as, thanks to a sinus infection, we voicelessly recreate this bright, tart, quirky treat.
If you're looking for unique humor, delicious-looking food, and rampant cartoon sexualization, look no further than Food Wars!: Shokugeki no Soma. In this culinary fist fight, the owner of the oldest restaurant in Chinatown whips up a sweet and salty ensemble purported to have "advanced Chinese cuisine". Could pineapple fried rice possibly live up to the hype? Check out all 3 seasons of Food Wars! on Crunchyroll.
The chicken/meatball/eggplant/veal parm hero - not only is it my death row meal, it's the object of affection for many of our favorite fictional characters. Spongebob buys an entire house made of parm hero, Joey Tribbiani nearly takes a bullet for one, Agent Harris feeds one directly to a parasite
This week, we forgo the usual clip from the movie - an unfortunate scene wherein the CGI cat dances along to the Black Eyed Peas - in favor of a clip from this week's collab with Brad Leone! Join Brad, Vinny and I as we seek to build the perfect pile of pasta, otherwise known as lasagna.
Amelie has no boyfriend. Instead, she has a grab-bag of cute, twee French girl activities - and what could be more twee or french than all the dainty little circumflexes and accents sprinkled atop crème brûlée? Use your culinary torch for something other than sous vide and 6-paper-joints for once, and follow along as we recreate this delectable Francophilian fancyfood.
Joss Whedon didn't just bring dynamic characters, dazzling action, and rapid-fire quips to the MCU - he brought one character's singular hunger, a hunger that grew like a virus within the Avengers themselves. A hunger...for shawarma. Solemnly munch along in silence this week as we marvel at a carnivorous carousel and puff up some pita.
Tomorrow, April 12th (not the 20th, strangely enough), is National Grilled Cheese day. Show your reverence for this auspicious day by griddling up some bread, cheese, and butter - but nothing else - otherwise you made yourself a melt.
Joe Pantoliano has portrayed a bevy of characters with questionable hairpieces, questionable facial hair, and a complete lack of morality or empathy. This week's villainous snack is no exception - Cypher is pure Pantoliano, and only he could make talking with your mouth full still seem appetizing. Scheme along with your favorite shady compatriot as we enjoy this week's less flavorful, but nevertheless indulgent steakhouse classic.
Despite being a fabricated entity, composed only of Tony Stark's code and some rare/non-existent elements, the Marvel demigod known as Vision sure knows how to whip up some mean paprikash. That is, if he actually used paprika, as opposed to some other misplaced bright-red pantry-mainstay. Gear up for Avengers: Infinity War this week as we delve into this classic Sokovian (actually Hungarian) comfort food.
If you're going to torpedo your diet, you might as well go down in a blaze of glory - and that's exactly what Gina Linetti does with wild abandon in Brooklyn Nine-Nine when she whips out a Sloppy Jessica. Please don't make this - like I'm not gonna stop you, but you honestly shouldn't eat this. But maybe though.
Jenna Hunterson is excels in many arenas: making pies, coming up with sentence-long names for said pies, customer service, and wrangling her downright horrible husband. But mostly pies. Follow along this week as we recreate three of her superlative sweets, and support the foundation established in memory of the film's writer, director, and co-star.
Note: this is not the new kitchen! Special thanks to The Harley School for letting me use theirs!
Liz Lemon is much more than a fictional character to compare yourself to in your Tinder profile - she's dynamic, she's strong, and she's kind of gross in her personal life. One of her many gross attributes is a taste for Cheesy Blasters, the MeatCat™-approved snack containing jack cheese, hot dogs, and pizza. Can we make a sort-of-not-gross version of our favorite NBC Executive Producer's preferred midnight snack? Only one way to find out.
Bubble Bass is notorious in Bikini Bottom for three things: his hideous laugh, his pathological dishonesty, and his sophisticated palate for Krabby Patties. Follow along this week as we examine his soundboard of secret-menu jargon and take a crack at the almost-impossible-to-recreate patty melt - from the all-new BwB kitchen!
And now, the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and their occasional culinary inventiveness in the face of adversity. From faulty deep-fryers to a legacy built on frozen bananas, the Bluths have dreamt up a wealth of money-making treats. Well, except for hot ham water. Somebody call Gene Parmesan.
"Leave the gun, take the cannoli" - is there a more iconic line spoken in Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather? I mean, apart from almost every other line of dialogue? In a film defined by its own endless defining moments, food still manages to stand out as a memorable supporting character. I mean, it wouldn't be much of an Italian mobster film without it.
Pasta puttanesca can mean many things - a bonding moment for a family enduring unspeakable tragedy. A peace offering to a conniving, distant relative and his wannabe-drama-nerd-cronies. A "prostitute pasta", its literal translation from Italian to English. Whatever pasta puttanesca means to you, it's basically a bunch of anchovies and olives mashed into spaghetti, and it tastes better than it sounds.
Wade Wilson knew exactly what he was doing when he ordered that pizza - he knew I'd one day have to recreate and eat it. Yes I know the comic was written well before I started making the show. Yes I know Wade Wilson is a fictional character. Let me imagine that Ryan Reynolds did something to mess with me okay?
I was gonna hold off on making this episode until the new live-action Mulan came out, but principal photography hasn't even started yet, and it's expected to come out in 2020. So as I slowly recover from Vidcon, join me as I make one of the simplest and most essential dishes in our illustrious human history: porridge. Specifically, porridge made from rice, topped with a smiley face bacon-and-eggs affair. Leave it to Mushu.
Bubba Gump Shrimp doesn't have to be associated with a horrible chain restaurant in Times Square - it can be the fullest realization of Bubba's love for the fruit of the sea. Creamy shrimp salad, crispy coconut shrimp, luscious shrimp gumbo - join me as I embark upon the first few dishes on the illustrious list dreamt up by everyone's best good friend. And I managed to do it without even a single Forrest Gump impression!
Peter Griffin isn't a practical, intelligent, kind, or relatable man. I'm not sure where I was going with that - point is, guy is a slob (even for a cartoon), and he made a sandwich and you guys all wanted to watch me eat it. Well here ya go.
Okonomiyaki, a dish whose name literally means "how you like", can contain any number of fillings. But as depicted in Sweetness & Lightning, it can contain a great deal more: childlike wonder, paternal bonding, and squid. Follow along this week as we recreate this essential Japanese comfort food, and maybe learn a thing or two about growing up in the process.
Hey y'all, I have half a mind to fix up a mess of fried green tomatoes 'fore I get three sheets to the wind over there yonder! Or something. Fuel your Southern side with this week's deep-fried treat, featured prominently in the film of the same name.
You haven't heard of sandwich day? It's one special day each year that the teamsters gleefully hand out roast beef, fresh mozzarella, and roast red pepper sandwiches with special dipping sauce from their secret Brooklyn deli. Now, thanks to a single thirdhand source on the internet, that secret deli has been revealed as Fiore's House of Quality in Hoboken, NJ. This week, let's take a crack at bringing some of those generations-old Italian secrets into our kitchen.
This isn't the first time we've taken a look at the foods featured in Jon Favreau's food-film masterclass, Chef. In fact, it isn't the second or third time. And it won't be the last. Follow along this week as we recreate these crunchy, squeezy, soft Crescent City donuts that finally brought a father and son together.
Disney films often adorn their supporting characters with lowkey foodie characteristics - Mushu's offering of congee, Timon's love of cream-filled beetles, Snow White's partiality to poison apples - but none quite so sweet and prideful and Kronk's love of spinach puffs. Celebrate the 17.75th-year anniversary of this David Spade classic with these crunchy, cheesy, buttery, spinach-y appetizers.
Every thousand years, a food challenge appears that blows everyone away - the eggscellent challenge is not that challenge. Sure, it's a ridiculous breakfast portion, but a competitive eater with a sliver more gumption than I've got could've housed it easily.
There's a wealth of food showcased in HBO's genre-defining classic The Sopranos, but few (if any) surround a real, actual human romance. That's right, the short-but-passionate affair between a noticeably thinner Vito and his mystery-fireman-studmuffin Jim "Johnny Cakes". Labor under the delusion that these star-crossed lovers won't meet a tragic end as we share in their shared New England indulgence, johnny cakes with housemade sausage.
Taking Daniel Day-Lewis' breakfast order is a double-edged sword: get it right, and you fall in love with an abusive fashion designer whom you feel the need to poison to stay in love with. Get it wrong, and you'll probably never work in this town again. Thread the needle this week as we try and recreate breakfast for the hungry boy.
The clotted cream, butter, and jam in this episode all came out sensational - the welsh rarebit and scones, however, could use some work. Go check out the YouTuber that inspired this week's episode here for some solid recipes!
https://youtu.be/WU-Lc3uCM9Y
Makin' pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes. Take some bacon and I put it in a pancake. Bacon pancakes that's what it's gonna make; bacon pancaaaaaaaaaakes!
Doug Yancey Funnie was voiced by none other than Billy West - and now, if you think about Doug's voice, you can't help but hear Fry from Futurama. You're welcome. Unfortunately we're not trying out Honker Burgers or Mr. Sleech's Donuts; instead, follow along this week as we ruin some perfectly good pizza.
We're back with another culinary curiosity from HBO's hottest s-expositional serial, Game of Thrones, this time with the help of the murderous Queen of the North herself: Maisie Williams! Can we whip up a wolf-shaped treat that would do Hot Pie proud?
Ron Stoppable has a penchant for food creativity, and he pulls out all the stops at Team Possible's favorite high-cholesterol haunt, Bueno Nacho. Will the Naco, a seemingly-ingenious combination of nachos and tacos, live up to the promise of its name? Probably.
More than once, Peter Parker takes a 'swing' (sorry) at hanging up the web shooters in favor of a skillet and spatula. And without wishing to spoil the entire game for you, he apparently makes a hell of a curry. Can he, however, atone for his failures in dumpling-and-wheatcake-making? Let's find out!
Peggy Hill is many things: she's a mother. A boggle champ. A substitute teacher (substitute teacher of the year twice, in fact). A sculptor. A foot fetish model. A kidnapper. A survivor of a fall from 13,000 feet without a parachute. The mother of the 15th Dalai Lama. She is by her own admission, however, not a very good cook. Will her specialty dishes make it into the clean plate club?
Okay, let's face it, I just wanted an excuse to make cinnamon rolls this week - and Jim Gaffigan ranting about them to a 2006 audience's delight was good enough for me. Follow along this week as we bake up a batch of the saccharine cinnamon sweet; careful, you just might learn a thing or two.
Not even a fully-automatic money gun is enough to stop Mako Mankanshoku when she's got her heart set on Osakan street food - quite the contrary, it only fuels her appetite. Follow along with this week's easy-once-you-get-all-the-specialty-ingredients-and-equipment classic Japanese street snack, Takoyaki!
Food in video games has seen a renaissance in the past few years, with vittles playing a pivotal role in your mere survival as a character. Rockstar games inches ever-closer to real life in video game form with Red Dead Redemption 2, where you can buy, hunt, cook, steal, and eat your nutritional requirements every day. You never seem to need to go to the bathroom though...
Special thanks to Justin Bailey, a wilderness expert without whom this episode would not have been possible! Go check out his Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theoutdoorethos/
This episode was sponsored by The Venetian Resort Las Vegas. I was given the opportunity to choose a dish to be featured on their secret room service menu: Eggs Florentine. When you visit Vegas, make sure you order it and tag me and @VenetianLasVegas.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/venetianvegas
This week, we return once again to the hallowed halls of the fancy foods of Frasier. Instead of the brothers Crane, however, we turn to Lilith Sternin for inspiration as we recreate her postcoital breakfast of choice, eggs florentine - even if it's slathered in ketchup and devoured in the bathroom.
Fun fact: Chilean sea bass was nearly fished into extinction after its mere mention in Jurassic Park! That's actually not a very fun fact. That's kinda messed up. While still overfished, it can be acquired legally - while fetching a price of $30/lb. A delicious (and less expensive) alternative is black cod!
It's rare that a minor detail in a long-running series will take on a strange, unintended new life as a meme. Jean-Luc Picard face-palming in Star Trek TNG: Deja Q. Some kid eating tide pods. Oliver Platt's occasional role on The West Wing. Or, in the case of Spongebob Squarepants, a moment from like every other episode. Follow along this week as we recreate a potato salad recipe courtesy of "Tom", an ancillary character famous for screaming.
Seinfeld might be a show about nothing, but if it had to be about something, it just might be food. In fact, food might as well be the 5th member of our favorite gang of New York narcissists, swooping in to either save the day or ruin best laid plans. This week, we take a closer look at George's peculiar culinary proclivities.
John Krasinski's home-run thriller did much more than finally separate him in my mind from his character on The Office - it established him as a true leading man, a talented director, and owner of one of the handsomest beards in Hollywood. Whisper along this week as answer the question: can food be prepared both quietly AND deliciously?
Green eggs and ham aren't the culinary limits of Doctor Seuss - fantastical foods are peppered throughout his fantasy pastel worlds of whimsical, wondiferous words. Follow along this week, while we try not to rhyme, as we take a crack at roast beast, for the very first time. Damn it.
Bob's Burgers isn't always about burgers. Sometimes it's about a giant pancake type thing called a Dutch baby.
