After a “wardrobe malfunction” occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter’s favorite shows. As a result, Peter creates his own station, PTV, which broadcasts from the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create their own edgy programming until the FCC shows up to shut down PTV and censor all controversial material in Quahog.
After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian gets a job at The New Yorker.
Lois thinks Stewie is trying to kill her due to his lack of quality time with his father, so she orders Peter to spend more time with Stewie. Meanwhile Chris starts a friendship with Herbert.
Lois discovers she has a brother named Patrick and takes the family cross-country to meet him. It turns out; he’s locked up in a mental institution. Lois thinks he’s sane, so she checks him out to live with the Griffins. Meanwhile, Peter starts the Society for the Acceptance of Fat Men. But when all the fat men of Quahog are strangled one-by-one the group lives in fear. Who could the “Fat Man Strangler” be?
When Peter’s dad comes to visit, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mix-up with the holy-water leaves Stewie in a bubble, Peter decides to form a church worshiping his hero, the Fonz.
After Brian has a near-death experience in the hospital, he decides to lead a new life. He ends up getting a nightly singing gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his new lifestyle doesn't last very long. Meanwhile, Meg, after joining a new after-school group, pretends to be a lesbian.
At his high school reunion, Peter tries to impress his fellow classmates. When Peter, heading for the bathroom, charges through the crowd of people, impresses quarterback Tom Brady, who offers Peter a spot on the New England Patriots. Meanwhile, Brian owes Stewie money, after Stewie becomes a sports bookie.
When Peter wins a maid for a week as a prize on a game show, Quagmire gains an interest in her, and they eventually marry. Quagmire, stricken with his bachelor ways, tries to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Lois stops breast-feeding Stewie, who, as a result, goes through withdrawals.
Peter gets a vasectomy and loses all his sex drive. Lois begins to gain weight, and as a result, Peter's regains his interest in his wife. When Lois' habits get out of control, she has a heart attack. The surgeon must remove Lois' fat to reach her heart, returning her to her normal weight. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother Bertram returns to confront him, where they have a war for control over the playground.
Meg becomes an intern for Mayor West. Brian, who is sure that the mayor is corrupt, tries to out him. Brian and Stewie, while undercover, discover that Meg is more than just an intern. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois go back to their folk singing days at a local talent show. When they begin using drugs, Chris stages an intervention.
After reading an erotic novel, Peter gets the idea to write one himself. Carter gets sued for publishing Peter's book on tape and loses all his money, where he is forced to become a middle-class citizen. Meanwhile, Stewie tries to train for the Olympics.
Brian's gay cousin Jasper visits the Griffin house and announces that he is engaged to his partner and wants to be married at their house. When Mayor West bans gay marriage in an effort to cover up and bring attention away from a scandal of his own, Brian resorts to hostile actions to try to change the Mayor's mind. Lois and Peter question their view towards gay marriage while Chris joins the "Young Republicans" Club to impress a girl.
Peter wants to top Joe, who just built a new home theater system, so he starts to build a multiplex in his backyard. In doing so, he discovers an Indian burial ground. He finds an Indian chief's skull and the Griffin house becomes haunted. Stewie gets sucked into the television and strange events follow as they try to get Stewie back from the poltergeist.
When burglars break into the house, the Griffins take cover in the attic where they discover Peter has built a 'panic room'. They go in it, and Peter tells them about his history. They send Meg for food but the burglars catch her. The rest of the Griffins stay behind and Peter accidentally floods the room and they're going to drown. Luckily Joe gets them out and we find out Meg has been accused of sexual harassment by the burglars.