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Thomas Covenant has just left his house in the country to walk two miles downtown to pay his phone bill at Pacific Bell. He is walking mechanically with his arms braced like a strangler because he has this disease called "VSE" which causes him to lose appendages (ie - 2 fingers) as a result of being very unclean. On his way, he encounters a small boy who reaches out to touch him. The boy's mother, whose heart is quailing, snatches her son out of harm's way. Thomas Covenant is pissed. He is suppressing a memory of his x-wife Joan when he notices 2 teenage girls trying on jewelry in a store. He pauses to eye them lecherously. It is as if his penis is just another amputated member. A man in an ocher robe runs into him and points at him. Grimacing wildly, he continues his journey to Pac Bell still walking like a strangler (ie - a robot). It all starts here! The first episode of a ridiculously long and pointlessly insightful discussion of Lord Foul's Bane. Watch the first episode as the girls interview the original and supreme Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Tadhg O' Higgins!

Thomas Covenant has just reached Pacific Bell to pay his bill. He is greeted by a hot chick who works there. She takes his bill and goes to the back room to check the status. While he waits, Thomas Covenant takes out a pamphlet that was given to him earlier in the day by a Mormon boy. He is considering becoming a Mormon. When the hot chic returns, she informs him that his bill has already been paid. Thomas Covenant is really pissed. He has to focus on his aching ankles and wrists as he struggles to keep the anger at bay. He then attempts to pick up the hot chic by lying to her about his leprosy. He tells her that "It isn't catching. Except to children" (and beggars but apparently not hot chics). She refuses his advances and he leaves Pac Bell in a rage. He walks mechanically downtown until he reaches a beggar. Taking pity on the beggar, he attempts to tear off his white gold wedding ring to toss in the beggar's cup but instead tears off his entire finger! Blood squirts from the wound! The beggar returns Thomas Covenant's finger to him and Thomas is somehow able to reattach it. Suddenly, he finds himself surrounded by construction. Then as if appearing out of nowhere, he almost falls into a giant precipice filled with rough damnations multiplying below him. A must see episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour with our Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Michael Lee!

Thomas Covenant finds himself falling into the precipice of his future after being hit by a car and struck in the head by a metaphorical spear. After bandaging his massive head wound, he realizes that he is deep within a cave filled with churros. A wretched figure is standing above him waving a staff. The creature is yelling, "Mine! Mine! Done it! I have the staff! Lord Drool!" From deep within the bowels of the cave a second ominous figure appears. It is Lord Foul himself! "Back, Rockworm!" he yells, "This prey is too great for you!" Thomas Covenant cowers in terror. Eating a churro, Lord Foul explains the doomed lineage of Berek Lord Father, Loric, Ravi Shankar and Kiril Threndar Heart of Thundar. Don't miss this compelling episode with our tallest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Sean Knox!!!

Thomas Covenant is frozen in terror as Lord Foul reveals his evil and arithmetically elaborate plan to complete victory and ultimately until every human in the land is dead. Foul recounts how Kevin was dim-witted enough to lose the staff at all 10 of the annual Rituals of Desecrations!!! As we begin Chapter 4, Thomas Covenant unexpectedly finds himself outside on a circular stone slab with Lord Foul no where in sight. He believes that he is still downtown after being hit by the car and the spear (from Episode 3). He is approached by a hot under-aged girl kind of like the teenage girls from pages 1 - 4 in Episode 1. When she sees his hand, she freaks out in hot teenage excitement, referring to him as "Berek Halfhand". Horrified, Thomas Covenant realizes that he is not downtown but that he is still in the same distorted reality as Lord Foul! Don't miss this dramatic episode with our most corporate Experts in Lord Foul's Bane, California Street Partners!!!

So you're new to the Fantasy Bedtime Hour and you've never read Lord Foul's Bane by Steven R. Donaldson...Well, don't worry! There's still time to catch up! In episode 5, we'll be showing all 4 of the Fantasy Action Sequences which are dramatic reenactments of pages 1-4, 26-30, 29-33 & 36-40. Supreme expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Tadhg O'Higgins, will answer all of our questions, viewer mail and explain the deeper meaning of characters like the Man in the Ocher Robe or the hot chic at Pacific Bell. Be sure to tune in for this riveting FBH compilation episode!!!

Thomas Covenant finds himself on a concrete slab on top of Kevin's Watch being woken up by a HOT teenage girl. Gasping for breath, she eagerly explains to him that he is in a place called "The Land". She really wants to go out with him because he looks like the famous Berek Halfhand. Thomas Covenant is annoyed as he doesn't specifically listen to anything the girl is saying. To his horror, he realizes that he will soon have to negotiate the mildly steep descent of the steps of Kevin's Watch with his leprosy ridden body. Don't miss this EPIC episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour with our first female Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Jennifer!!!

Atrium, the Hot Teenage Girl's mom, takes Thomas Covenant to the Stonesdown where she reveals to us (in song) The Legend of Berek HALF HAND, a heroic quest set in a time of uncertainty in the land. The future of civilization rests in the fate of the One Ring, which has been lost for centuries. Powerful forces are unrelenting in their search for it. But fate has placed it in the hands of a young Hobbit named Frodo Baggins. In an epic battle against the Shadow, Berek fights the corrupt King and loses half his hand! Seeing his dead comrades scattered around him, he flees and is pursued by the King for THREE days until finally he reaches Mt. Thundar and calls upon the power of the Stone Lions to defeat the King and his evil henchman. A must see Fantasy Bedtime Hour Episode with our newest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Larry! All questions finally answered!

Atrium, the Hot Teenage Girl's mom, is taking Thomas Covenant to see the Council of the Lords so that he can deliver his precious little message from Lord Foul about the span of days upon the land, etc. What the Hot Teenage Girl's Mom doesn't know is that Thomas Covenant has just raped her daughter!!! Luckily Triock, the suitor of the Hot Teenage Girl, knows about the rape and is following them with plans of killing Thomas Covenant...and of course we're all rooting for that to happen because as you know we've always felt that Thomas Covenant is more than a little bit lecherous but now we know this to be the case and we really hope that Triock stabs him good. Don't miss this spirited Christmas Edition of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour! With our most cynical Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Ian Shoales (represented by his assistant, Violet)!

Atrium and Thomas Covenant have not spoken in days. They are still making the difficult journey to see The Council of the Lords. Thomas Covenant has been noticing a rotting smell that is becoming so intense, he can almost taste it and his sinuses ache. It is the smell of wrongness in The Land. As they reach the bottom of the hill, they notice a corpse and Atrium wants to enter it as is customary in The Land. However, her plans of violating the corpse are interrupted by the discovery of a violently murdered Waynhim! In sore need of council, they come upon Flaming Woodhelven and beg them for help only to receive an unexpectedly hostile welcome. Join us on Feb 6th and 20th for this must see episode with our very knowledgeable and super HOT Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Drew! All our most intimate questions and apparel finally answered and laundered!

WATCH as Heatherly and Julie are painfully guided back on track by Resident Supreme Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Tadhg O'Higgins! LISTEN as Tadhg repeatedly corrects the girls for inaccuracies in the Fantasy Action Sequences! WRITE us if you have read Lord Foul's Bane and would like to be our next expert!

Welcome to the terrifying and mysterious land of Soaring Woodhelven. When we last left Thomas Covenant he was being hauled up into the trees like a sack of miscellaneous helplessness and even we have to admit it was damn sexy. The once friendly Woodhelven have become suspicious of strangers since their recent encounter with a dark stranger who walked among them with dark hints and spit in his mouth and made fun of their crafts and customs then out ran them and made them look like FOOLS. Since then, the Woodhelven have spent approximately one day re-learning the defense of the land. And Thomas Covenant and Atrium are about to find out exactly what that means! Don't miss this disturbing episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we discuss these graphic scenes with our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Uncle Sea Butter!

After the terrifying incident at Soaring Woodhelvin* , it turns out that Thomas Covenant was right in the land afterall! Feeling like a bit of jerk because of the above mentioned incident**, Baradakas feels compelled to give Thomas Covenant an extra staff he's been working on. The Woodhelvin give Atrium directions to the Council of the Lords and the next morning, they resume their quest. Starting the day's journey at lope, Atrium begins to hiss with anticipation when she realizes that they are in time for the Banas Nimoram, the Celebration of Spring and that they will soon see the dance of the Wraiths of Andelain. Atrium and Thomas Covenant watch the dance only to realize to their HORROR that an undetermined black mass is swallowing up the tiny dancing wraiths and they are the only ones that can stop this impending tragedy!!! Don't miss this incredible episode as we discuss the intricacies of the above sequence with our very first pysicist Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Ted! Don't miss our most complicated Episode yet!

Atrium is pissed at Thomas Covenant because she believes that he is Berek Halfhand reborn and that he could have saved the Wraiths. Instead, the Unfettered One (from Episode 12) stayed behind and gave up his own life to save them so that they could could complete their journey. Finally they reach the river where Atrium unloads Thomas Covenant off to a river giant and charges the giant with the task of taking him safely to the Council of the Lords. Is this the last time we'll see Atrium? Is she gone for good? Will they ever reach the Council of the Lords? What will happen when they get there??? Who knows such things? Make sure to stay up late and watch this bitter sweet episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we discuss these topics with our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane from Portland Oregon, Bill!

Thomas Covenant and Salt Heart Foamfollower are in trouble! The Giant has been powering their boat for three days with his OWN WILL! Even more amazing, he has not tried to eat Thomas Covenant once! The Giant is weakened and close to death when Quaan and his group of Warward warriors find him to attempt to take them to the Council of the Lords. Will Quaan be able to save Salt Heart Foamfollower? Will The Giant try to eat Thomas Covenant? Who is Lord Mormon? Join us for the 14th Episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour when Dave our first Expert in Lord Foul's Bane... from NASA... will join us and definitively answer all of these urgent questions.

Have you read Lord Foul's Bane? Do you ever question the accuracy of the Fantasy Action Sequences or the Experts themselves? Well, rest assured there is one man who does. His tireless pursuit of the truth and for EXCELLENCE on the show has made him one of the most beloved and simultaneously irritating guests on The Fantasy Bedtime Hour. Please join us in welcoming our revered Resident Supreme Ultimate Expert in all things Bane, Tadhg O' Higgins, as he corrects the girls for inaccuracies in the action sequences from Episode 12 - 14... Daddy's home!!!

Off to Revelstone! Thomas Covenant and Salt Heart Foamfollower are finally nearing the end of their journey where they will soon meet the Council of the Lords! We can't wait! We here at the Fantasy Bedtime Hour have been anxiously awaiting this moment for so long we lack the words to describe how we feel. We're moist with anticipation. Why it seems like just yesterday, Thomas Covenant was paying his phone bill at Pacific Bell... And now he's in Revelstone delivering a message from Lord Foul the Despiser to the Council of the Lords...Memories. Don't miss this special holiday episode with our most philosophical Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Jim!

Believing he has been imprisoned by Bannor, Thomas Covenant waits in silent rage while he contemplates the uncanny similarities between himself and the mural depicting the late Berek Halfhand. His thoughts are soon interrupted by a loud knock and he finds himself with peculiar visitors who feel the need to explain the mysterious properties of the light generating stones known as gravalingas and ultimately to introduce the distinguished Lord Mormon. Lord Mormon then goes on to explain many, many, many things about the Land and Bannor and the Bloodguard...and goes on to explain many, many more things in painstaking, verbose detail. Tune in for this excitingly tedious episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour where we welcome our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, the luscious and sagacious Helen O' Helen.

Thomas Covenant is finally meeting the Council of the Lords! He enters their ancient and mysterious lair fully prepared to deliver Lord Foul's message of doom. But will the Council believe him? A stranger to the land...the Unbeliever himself? Is this the end of his quest or merely the beginning? Tune in to this pivotal episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour where we will evaluate the psychological profile of Thomas Covenant with our very first clinical psychologist Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Tom!

After delivering his unprecedented message of DOOM to the Council of the Lords, Thomas Covenant takes a moment to reflect on his epic journey which he still believes to be a twisted dream. Don't miss this informationally packed episode with one of our most knowledgeable experts in Lord Foul's Bane yet, Jason Scott, as he helps us resolve the mysterious and irritating puzzle of Lord Foul's Equation.

Lord Foul's warning has shocked the Council of the Lords to its very core! How can they sit idly by and wait for the inevitable destruction of the Land in 49 years? Or the death of every human in the Land in 2.5 years! Or to be alive but without hope in 2.5 years. Their only chance is to recover the Illiearth Stone so that they won't be dead in 2.5 years and I think that buys them some time on the 49 years although, I think either way hope will be eradicated... Anyway, it is decided that the quest must begin immediately! Don't miss this action packed Episode with our latest expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Nial O' Higgins as Thomas Covenant and the Council of the Lords begin their courageous journey to recover the Illiearth stone!

The quest has begun! As the group leaves the safety of Revelstone on a journey east toward the Mithil river, they are welcomed by a blood red moon that foreshadows the unspeakable evil yet to come! Meanwhile, Thomas Covenant is busy stepping in the ill of the land as his worried partners try to aid him. But only Lord Mormon with his foresight is able to track the secret source of Covenant's evil affliction. Don't miss this epic and heart wrenching episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour with our extremely knowledgeable and positively radioactive expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Len!

The group has just buried the last of the dead from the carnage of the once majestic Soaring Woodhelvin when the Blood Guard arrive with two survivors! Thomas Covenant is shocked to see that he recognizes one of them. It is Laura! She struggles desperately to communicate her urgent message to them impaired by the black spell cast on her by the evil Ur-vile master... But will it be too late? Don't miss this edge of your seat, nail biting, hair whitening episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome in our latest, bustiest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Barbara!

Don't miss this exciting conclusion of the the Ur-vile battle! As Mormon faces off with the Ur-vile master, Prothal faces his own terrifying battle with the Griffin! Watch as Foamfollower battles like a berserker and Bannor fights like a dervish! Be amazed as Thomas Covenant KILLS, KILLS, KILLS wielding the power of the wild magic! Join us for this exciting and informationally packed episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome back our Resident Supreme Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, the beloved Tadhg O' Higgins!

Weary from battle, the Quest must persist through the blood thirsty woods of Morinmoss and then further still into Manhome. After surviving a harrowing journey through the enchanted woods, they are greeted by Lilith Manethrall and her Cords, Roostah and Grace. Meanwhile, Thomas Covenant is battling his own personal demons as he undertakes a hunger strike in an attempt to participate no further in what he believes is a dream. Please join us for this surprising episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our first experts all the way from New York, Charles and Ann!!!

With Lilith Manethrall's help, the weary travelers make their way to Manhome. There Thomas Covenant meets a young Winhome girl of 15 named Gay. Gay tries to care for Covenant but her efforts are in vain. Thomas Covenant insists on continuing his hunger strike, still not willing to accept the reality of The Land. However, Gay's attention unexpectedly forces Thomas Covenant to confront long since repressed memories of Lena. Join us for this pivotal episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour with our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Steve O!

Thomas Covenant finally breaks his hunger strike and gets wasted on Diamond Draught. Upon waking, he engages Foamfollower in a philosophical debate on the subject of leprosy. Later, he finds himself in an abstract debate with Quan who, unlike his Ramen companions, is still distrustful of the Unbeliever. Join us for this highly introspective and slightly uncomfortable episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour with our latest Experts in Lord Foul's Bane visiting all the way from China, Paul & Evie!!!

Lord Mormon and Lilith Manethrall argue like earth and sky over Lilith's decision to become Thomas Covenant's servant. Meanwhile, Covenant and Foamfollower engage in yet another philosophical debate about the concept of hope. Also, the child Piettan is possessed. Please join us for this integral episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome still another member of the O'Higgins clan, Tadhg's father, Higgins O'Higgins!!! Truly the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The Quest has left Manhome now as they head North or North East or possibly West to search for Drool Rockworm within the catacombs of Mt. Thundar. Along the way, Foamfollower's agitation with the region causes him to talk incessantly and regale the Questers with gay stories. As the weather shifts, Mormon announces that they have finally reached their destination. Mt. Thundar awaits! Join us for this compelling yet somewhat discomforting episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Douglas!!!

As the Questers head undetected toward the gaping maw of Mt. Thundar which is gaping just for them, FoamFollower experiences a violent rage brought on by the presence of the Urvile hordes that swarm just below them. The war drums nearly drive the Questers mad but clearly the sensitive FoamFollower is most effected by them. Join us for this tension filled episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, another Physicist (visiting all the way from Australia), Adam!!!

As Thomas Covenant looks down upon Treacher's Gorge, Lord Mormon reveals its grim history to the Unbeliever. After a sleepless night, the Questers have reached the point of no return. Now is the time they must enter the dank catacombs of Mt. Thundar if they ever hope to recover the Staff of Law! Join us for this Christmas edition of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our first biochemist Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Dr. Lev O (or Dr. O to the ladies)!!!

So apparently they didn't actually enter the catacombs in the last episode although it really seemed like they did... Anyway, they're still on their way to Mt. Thundar but this time the Quest is in a sort of ravine or something? Beerandair gives his council to Prothal as the Quest decides how best to approach the mountain. Don't miss this verbose episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our latest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Jeff!!!

Peering over from their lookout point, Bannor notices that only two cavewights guard the only entrance to the catacombs. The Quest must simply kill these two before they can enter but Prothal begins to have his doubts about the ease of their situation. Could the Quest be falling into a trap? Please join us for this boobalicious episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as the girls welcome their first female Expert in months, Diana Mars!!!

After slaying the Cavewights at the cave entrance (if you'll remember the events in our last action packed episode), the Questers are FINALLY ready to enter into the catacombs. We're almost absolutely sure it's going to happen this time. However, before they can get to the entrance of the catacombs, they must first overcome one last challenge. But we're pretty sure this is the last challenge and then they're in the catacombs. Please join us for this action packed, psychedelic episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our fuzziest French (Canadian) Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Fuzzy Philippe!!!

Finally the Quest has finally entered the catacombs...finally. As they journey deeper into the dark, dank tunnels, they come across the laboratory where the banes are made. Danger awaits them in every passageway. Again, the Questers must ready themselves for battle! Please join us for this cave-alicious episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our special guest journalist Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, John!!!

The first battle in the catacombs is on! Oh for the love of God, is it ON!!! Don't miss this blood soaked episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we say goodbye to a somewhat beloved member of the Quest and HELLO to our manliest Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Ken!!!

The Questers continue in despair deeper into the bowels of Mt. Thundar. Thomas Covenant expresses a death wish but finds the strength to continue after a surprise attack from what appears to be a female Cavewight. Don't miss this artistic episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our very first comic book artist to the show: the beautiful, talented and utterly expert in all things Bane...JWANEETA!!!

Thomas Covenant awakes from his fall only to find himself helpless and in total darkness. He is quickly discovered by Drool's guards and taken to Kiril Threndar (Drool's place) for his final reckoning... Will Thomas Covenant be forced to hand over the ring to Drool? Will Lord Foul kill every human in the land?? Will the Questers be able to save Thomas Covenant and recover the Staff of Law??? HOOOOOLY! There are only 20 more pages left of the book so stay tuned!!! Join us for this nail biting, full throttle episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome our first webmaster of Stephen R. Donaldson's site, John Eccker!!!

After barely yanking the Staff of Law from Drool's feeble grasp, the slightly less feeble Lord Prothal struggles to keep up with his company as they attempt to escape from Mount Thundar while being pursued by yet another urvile wedge. But this time the wedge master spits acid!!! Oh, and also they don't know the way out. Could this be the end for our Questers? Don't miss this nail biting episode of the Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we welcome back (for the last time...) our one and only Resident Supreme Expert in Lord Foul's Bane, Tadhg O'Higgins!!!

The Questers have made it out of the treacherous catacombs of Mt. Thundar but to what end? Thomas Covenant refuses to use his ring for anymore killing. After a heart to heart talk with Mormon (ending in Covenant demanding to be killed), Thomas Covenant reconsiders his position and decides to help the Questers. However, this final decision may be more than he bargained for... Please join us for this final Action Sequence as we discuss the last pages with the Creator himself... Stephen R. Donaldson!!!

Join us for this very special FINAL episode of The Fantasy Bedtime Hour as we recap the book and discuss especially perplexing questions with the Creator himself, Stephen R. Donaldson!!!