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Private Notes
Ricky hires a business manager, and Lucy finds him tighter with money than Ricky.
Fred's globetrotting old vaudeville partner, Barney Kurtz, shows up, so Fred says he's a real-estate tycoon (with a red-headed maid to prove it). Actually, Barney's a cook in the Bronx, but his grandson is coming for a visit, so it's on with the show.
Lucy cries wolf once too often when she decides to see whether Ricky would come to her aid in an emergency. He assures her that he'd rush home from the club "between the 'baba' and the 'lu' " if she were in danger, but that's not enough reassurance for her, and soon she's in a precarious position.
Lucy wants to nudge a shy couple to the altar. Lucy's idea: show them how wonderful her and Ricky's marriage is. Her plan: invite them to a quiet at-home dinner. A quiet dinner at the Ricardos'? Who ever heard of such a thing?
A Hollywood talent scout is coming over to the apartment to audition Ricky for a movie role. But Ricky won't be the only one looking to attract the scout's attention. (Who's that gal in the Marilyn Monroe getup?).
The term "helpmate" takes on a new meaning when Lucy appears on a Hollywood movie lot. The cameras roll for Ricky's screen test -- but when the big moment arrives, Lucy takes the cue.
Ricky's mother comes to visit, and poor Lucy can't speak Spanish. So she finds a Spanish-speaking mindreader and it works like a charm — as long as he's around.
Despite Ricky's qualms, Lucy decides to help Fred pick out a birthday present for Ethel. The present turns out to be toreador pants, which Ethel decides are not only unflattering but "unfitting." Relations between the two women become strained almost to the shattering point.
As Ricky paces the floor awaiting word from Hollywood about his screen test, Lucy enlists the Mertzes to distract him. The drastic steps taken by the trio to alleviate Ricky's tension boomerang into a king-sized headache for them all.
California, here they come: Lucy and movie-star-to-be Ricky, plus Fred and Ethel, who are tagging along. Their mode of transport: a used Cadillac that Fred bought. And used it is — it's 25 years old and California's a long way away.
Ricky makes the mistake of teaching Lucy to drive his brand new car. It's only after showing Ethel how the car works that she crashes into another car and has to get them unhooked and fixed in time.
The Ricardos and Mertzes head for California. But first, of coures, there are complications. The chief one: Lucy's mother, who shows up and wants to accompany them. Ricky objects (to put it mildly), and when Fred and Ethel overhear him complaining about too many people on the trip, they take it personally. And when the dust from that blowup finally settles, there's packing to do.
The Ricardos and Mertzes have a hard time finding accommodations that will please everyone on their trip to California. They finally hit a greasy restaurant where stale cheese sandwiches cost them a dollar apiece. Hoping to find something better elsewhere, Ricky pays the check. The couples leave -- only to return several hours later, fooled by some purposely misleading road signs.
The Ricardo-Mertz westward trek faces a delay — they're all thrown in jail for speeding — in Bent Fork, Tenn., home of Lucy's "cousin" Ernest, who'll do all he can to get them out of the pokey, even if it means marrying one of the sheriff's two daughters, Teensy and Weensy.
The Ricardos and the Mertzes stop at Ethel's hometown: Albuquerque, New Mexico (Vivian Vance's real-life hometown). Under the impression that Ethel has been called to Hollywood and not Ricky, the townsfolk accord her a monumental ovation. When Ethel refuses to disillusion them -- and even goes so far as to put on a "celebrity act" -- Lucy takes matters into her own hands.
Lucy arrives in Hollywood with stars in her eyes. She heads for The Brown Derby, a celebrity hangout, where she encounters Eve Arden and William Holden -- and inadvertently presents Holden with a custard pie in the face. Hollywood legends William Holden and Eve Arden guest-star as themselves.
Lucy is forced to lend Ricky to five dazzling starlets for a proposed evening of publicity pictures. She tries to wait up for him but falls asleep on the sofa and doesn't awake until late the next morning. When she finds Ricky's bed unused, she jumps to the conclusion that he spent the night out with the starlets and decides she wants a divorce.
Lucy finally gets her shot at Hollywood stardom — as a chorus girl photographed in a lavish musical. But she had better not get a swelled head, because the headdress she has to wear is too big as it is.
Lucy's a model at a charity fashion show, but the redhead — wearing a scratchy tweed suit — is red all over from too much time in the California sun.
Lucy takes a dive in an effort to further Ricky's career by creating a big splash in Hedda Hopper's Hollywood column. Her scheme turns out to be "all wet" in an adventure that could only happen to Lucy and Ethel. Hedda Hopper, the renowned Hollywood gossip columnist, guest-stars as herself.
Ricky's movie is shelved, so Lucy schemes to get Ricky another role. The plan: impress MGM studio boss Dore Schary by any means necessary, even if it means that Schary must impress himself. But first, there are 500 fan letters to write.
Lucy literally blackmails Ricky into getting her a part in one of his guest appearances on television. He does get her a role -- as a bull. When Lucy is displeased with the turn of events, she transforms the bull's image from that of a snarling beast to a mincing creature resembling Elsie, the Borden Cow. Look for the classic scene where Lucy upstages Ricky in this episode.
Frantic over having forgotten the date of their wedding anniversary, Ricky tells Lucy that he has a big party planned in a famous nightclub. He doesn't tell her when it is, desperately wiring their marriage license bureau for the correct date. This episode is based on an actual surprise anniversary party that Desi Arnaz threw for Lucy.
Ricky is initially reluctant to host a new TV show when he learns that the sponsor prefers a husband-and-wife format. Nonetheless, he agrees to do the show. But when Lucy learns that he hadn't wanted her in the show at all, she decides to get even by sabotaging the "Breakfast with Lucy and Ricky" dress rehearsal. What Lucy doesn't know is that the so-called rehearsal is actually being broadcast to the entire city of New York in an effort to achieve an unrehearsed, spontaneous look.
Cornel Wilde becomes the one-hundredth movie star Lucy has seen in Hollywood; he is living in the penthouse directly above the Ricardo suite. Determined to get a glimpse of the handsome actor, Lucy disguises herself as a bellboy, then hides under the star's luncheon cart to gain entry into Wilde's suite. Things go smoothly until she finds herself locked out on Cornel's terrace and must make her way down the side of the building using a few blankets as rope. Swashbuckler Cornel Wilde guest-stars as himself in this episode.
Lucy and Ricky and Ethel and Fred are bored with each other so the gals head off to Palm Springs for a break. Rock Hudson guests as himself (and has a hand in getting the couples back together).
Lucy begs Van Johnson to let her dance a number with him at the nightclub to impress her rival Caroline Appleby, who is visiting from New York. Van accepts the challenge by waltzing her across the ballroom floor as his dance partner. Movie star Van Johnson guest-stars as himself.
Lucy promised Carolyn Appleby she'd produce some real Hollywood celebrities. Now she's got to deliver. Dressing up as Clark Gable, Gary Cooper and other celebrities, she manages to fool the near-sighted Carolyn. However, the real Harpo Marx shows up only to discover Lucy dressed up as him.
Ricky needs an agent, Lucy figures, so she nominates herself (unbeknownst to Ricky, of course) and heads off to negotiate with a studio executive to land him a role in a movie. Her strategy: use a nonexistent Broadway musical as a bargaining chip. It works too well.
Lucy and Ethel are abandoned by their sightseeing bus tour when they try to get a grapefruit from Richard Widmark's garden. When Lucy is stranded inside the garden wall, she and Ethel, who is outside, launch plans to get Lucy out -- but without comparing notes on how. Film star Richard Widmark guest-stars as himself.
