Armed with a matchbox full of 34 deadly sulphur guns, Don and George set out on a deadly post-cold-war mission. To find someone to spy on.
The police net closes in on Don, following his theft of an apple as a child. George is so tense he is in danger of exploding. A holiday not to Switzerland is the only answer.
Don has fallen for Miss Burns the air hostess. Naturally, George tries to have his friend arrested for conspiring to go out on a date. A tale of love, jealousy and trembling lower lips.
Don strikes a lucrative business deal with the Ecuadorean government. One problem. Don & George don't have a business. However, they do have two hundred boxes of cornflakes, enough to build a splendid office.
George is going to pieces, drinking three bottles of whisky a day. Don, and a mysterious approach from Hollywood, convince George to get fit. Just in time, coincidentally, for George's boxing match with Dennis "Killer" Bowles.
Don's tenure of friendship with George expires. But Don owes money for the rental of his spectacles, so George has little option but to pawn his friend. Unfortunately, Don is purchased by two former Nazis as a large timepiece.