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Private Notes
Trailer: A very nerdy, formerly beleaguered dark force rises...
Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark, the the most infamous disaster on Broadway since the Titanic Musical! Lindsay, Todd and Lupa speak talk about their reactions after seeing the performance. From the good songs to the bad, to the pretty shaky reasoning as to why Peter becomes a hero, to the fact that the Green Goblin is (and always was) the Best Damn Thing about the show. MY BAAAAABY!
Lindsay begins a new (sub) series looking at animation history through the best lens possible; over-the-top, melodramatic animated shorts! First up, Disney's Silly Symphony of "Hades" and "Persephone", the Goddess of Spring!
Betty Boop's most famous cartoon was a cautionary tale about how hard drugs ruin lives sung by a ghost-walrus. Hi-de-hi-de-ho!
Lindsay takes a look at a Donald Duck cartoon with the simple moral that Nazis suck!
A look back at Tex Avery's red hot reimagining of Little Red Riding Hood, wherein the Big Bad Wolf learns that No Means No.
Eli Whitney's Cotton Gin...?
This was the first Nostalgia Chick review and was the one to get TheDudette onto the site. This was also the first time her "Puppies!" running gag was used.
Lindsay was immediately turned off by Louise's selfishness right from the start of the movie. She criticizes the character's messiah complex and in the end feels the movie lacks plot and any resolution.
The Chick sees this movie as Don Bluth surrendering to the power of Disney. The music and animation were good in her view, though. ThatGuyWithTheGlasses has a guest spot as Rasputin and Lenin.
The Chick laments how the show was just a female version of her popular male counterpart, He-Man, and failed to make a significant impact. She also wasn't a fan of the movie's fake-outs.
The Chick feels that this movie teaches children to lose their virginity quickly, which would be unusual for Disney. She also criticizes the witches' acting almost like pedophiles.
Lindsay lists the greatest villainesses of all time.
Lindsay accuses the movie of promoting stereotypes and sending out the message that objectifying the opposite sex is fine if it's woman objectifying men. Also, the movie appears to have several sub-plots without having a main plot, constantly injects random scenes that make no sense and basically attempts to portray the Spice Girls as near-gods. Still, the band did promote the ideal that friendship never ends (ironic for a band whose members can't stand to be in the same room together nowadays) and also starred Meat Loaf... much to Lindsay's delight!
The Chick lists her choices for the Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs. This was the first times her BFF, Nella, and another friend, Elisa Hansen, made personal appearances.
Despite being entranced by David Bowie, the Chick criticizes Jennifer Connelly's acting ability. This was the first time she used "Big Lipped Alligator Moment" after her and The Nostalgia Critic review of "Ferngully: The Last Rainforest". Overall, she said the movie was lovably weird.
Lindsey starts off by looking at the fact that Don Bluth's movies always seem to do well at the box-office at around the same time that Disney is in trouble and vice-versa (you need to count the PIXAR movies too though) and with that, the Chick takes a look at Thumbelina. Annoyed with the main character's pessimism, Lindsay attempts to make sense of this movie as it copies Disney's films in many ways (hell, Thumbelina is voiced by Jodi Benson, who also voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid). In her view, the movie was just bad!
A look at the girl-targeted book-series-turned-movie. The Chick comments that series had a pretty genius way to appeal to girls by writing about stereotypical, relatable young women who both make friends and play with children. She notes that the movie goes into no detail at all about how the club was formed and has plenty of subplots instead of one main plot. The Chick finds that Jessie's lines are very cheesy, the subplot of Krissy bonding with her father has some unintentional innuendo, and Stacey's diabetes are treated like its a terminal disease. She also has trouble understanding the rap used to help Claudia with her test and the reasons for giving the greenhouse to the child-hating Mrs. Haberman. She occasionally plays music from Psycho to accompany footage of the children, who she finds more evil than the antagonists.
Lindsay and Nella go over the top 11 Nostalgic and Embarrassing Dance Crazes.
The Chick reviews what she thought was a science fiction movie and instead turns into something more dreadful. Not so much full of Big Lipped Alligator Moments, but rather the whole thing could be considered a Big Lipped Alligator Movie.
Lindsay reviews the phenomenon of Transformers from their rise in the 1980s to today. The Critic also cameos. The review accumulates in a review of the 1986 Transformers movie.
Awakening from a bad movie coma after seeing Revenge of the Fallen, Lindsay takes a look at "Armageddon" starring Bruce Willis. Notable for it's extremely racist opening scene, the high amount of scientific errors it contains, the fact that neither Ben Affleck nor Liv Tyler can act, and for the fact that the movie actually goes rapidly downhill once the protagonists blast into space.
The second part of her review of Armageddon goes over the plot and more explosions. By the end, she admits it feels good to review boy stuff. So, she begins to frolic in a meadow when NC himself ambushes her!
The Critic exacts his revenge on the Chick by keeping her in his basement and forces her to watch the 2007 Bratz movie. She endures the movie and tries to find a way out at the same time. Eventually, she reviewed the film and found the movie to be a landmark in bad movies for kids.
Donning the glasses again, Lindsay takes on a movie she admits she likes. Although, it does suffer from a few things like sidekickitis, and some historical things are wrong like what happened in Pocahontas.
Lindsay and her friend, Lauren take a hike in the woods and discuss "The Last Unicorn" and review it while on a search for the creature.
Lindsay takes a look at the Comedy Central staple where young Damon Wayons and Jim Carrey starred alongside Jeff Goldblum. She takes a look at the movie and says it wasn't all bad and lamented how aliens are still cool and wanted to be with them. But she describes it as a Julie Brown vanity project and criticizes the moral of the story.
'Disney Princess' used to be a term, then some executive at Disney decided there was money to be made and turned it into a brand. NChick looks at princesses over the years from Snow White to women in Disney movies who may or may not be considered princesses (for instance, Mulan is included and Alice sometimes makes the line-up despite not being a princess, yet Kida and Eilonwy are princesses and are no-where to be found). She examined their popularity and how they are now with all the merchandise they are on.
What's Christmas without Beauty and the Beast? Lindsay looks at the Disney story. One of the first Disney sequels, the Chick looks at how exceptionally poor this film is, the major problem being that it is neither a sequel nor a prequel; the events take place during the events of the first film, thereby robbing it of any tension it may have had. The Chick notes that despite Beauty and the Beast being one of her favourite films she was unable to watch it for a year after seeing The Enchanted Christmas, and ends the review with the lesson that if you really like a certain Disney film, it's probably a good idea to give the sequel a miss.
Take Sean Connery plus a dragon and you get something that kicks ass, right? Sadly no as Lindsay found that not even that could save a movie full of bad acting. Even if it had Sean Connery voicing one of the first CGI creations on film.
Lindsay talks about the history of female characters in animation in the United States.
With Avatar overtaking the record set for highest-grossing film by Titanic, NChick decides to look back at the story of the doomed lovers aboard the sinking ship, the success of the movie and its director, James Cameron. Oh, and she also looks at female leads in movies.
Boys had He-Man and Transformers, girls had My Little Pony... sometimes life just isn't fair. Also featuring a story by Nella!
Showgirls! Better known as the film which destroyed Elizabeth Berkley's career, Lindsay decides to take a look at the story of a Nomi Malone (get it?), who travels to Las Vegas to be a stripper and seediness ensues. Of course, since blip.tv doesn't allow nudity or graphic scenes, Lindsay's got Team NChick to help her act some some parts of the film.
Back to Showgirls, where everybody's got AIDS and shit. Team NChick take on the rest of the movie. And use creative censors!
Blonde pop stars then and now!
Cinderella stories over the years.
NChick takes a look at Grease, and wonders what makes it a classic despite containing so many flaws. Meanwhile, Elisa becomes the Makeover Fairy for the first time, and tries as hard as she can to makeover Nella.
Lindsay tries to make sense out of this strange sci-fi movie. At least it has Patrick Stewart! And Sting! Note: This episode was removed from TGWTG after Lindsay's viewers gave strong backlash/she developed a particular bad taste for the episode, admitting she had filmed it while drunk and didn't understand or give the movie proper credit.
Hercules... looks pretty, but isn't considered a Disney classic. NChick takes a look at why.
Lindsay brings SCIENCE!!! Doctors Tease and Block guest-star for the first time.
Lindsay is back with a Malkovich review that will Malkovich even the Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich...
See the origins of their epic rivalry in part 1!
While Dreamworks might have finally found an identity distinct from Disney and Pixar, can we ever forgive them for the Will Smith Fish?
Dissect the plot elements with Lindsay in The Fifth Element, the weirdest normal movie (or the most normal weird movie?) ever made. Note: This epiosde was removed from TGWTG a year after it's release. Lindsey admitted to also hating this episode in it's execution and how it talked about the movie. As well as the inclusion of the actor who played the Macguffin Man (another reason the Dune video was taken down) who was an associate of Lindsey who wanted screentime in her videos she admits she shouldn't of given any.
Lindsay and Nella engage in the ultimate nerd debate since time in memoriam to finally come to a conclusion; who was the greatest captain of the Enterprise?
Even though her BFF Nella has died in a tragic ladder accident, Lindsay trudges on by reviewing one of the most nostalgic shows ever (for her, anyway).
Dark Nella returns to exact revenge on our heroes! How will they combat this quasi dimensional cosmic being?!
While Dark Nella exacts her revenge on major cities and well-known landmarks of the United States, Lindsay takes a look back at the disaster movies of auteur, Roland Emmerich.
An episode what had to be broken into two parts because there's just so much to say on the likes of Independence Day and 2012! Also chase scenes in high heels and impractically skimpy dresses.
Science faltered in the battle against Dark Nella, so the ladies turn to magick (with a k) with The Craft, the film embodiment of your teenage "witch phase." You had one. Admit it.
Dark Nella is disgusted by the nerdiest of all nerd schlock, Tron, and intends to destroy it. You know, before she destroys everything else.
The Dark Nella finale is here! Lindsay examines Newsies, arguably Disney's most well-known non-animated musical (starring a then-young Christian Bale), about the horrors of child labor at the turn of the century; a silly movie that nonetheless makes the fangirls... squee.
Lindsay takes a look at that most massive of stage musicals, Les Miserables, both making JewWario miserable in the process and inspiring the Nostalgia Critic, Obscurus Lupa, Phelous and many others to sing along!
Lindsay gets an 80s makeover in the theme of Jem, the Holograms and the Misfits. It's outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.
For those that don't know, Lindsay hates The Little Mermaid. I mean, she REALLY hates it. But what justification does she have for despising the Disney movie that was so popular that it kicked off the Disney Renaissance? (Lindsay would rather credit Roger Rabbit with that achievement, though.) Nella and Elisa bring together Obscurus Lupa, MarzGurl, PushinUpRoses and Diamanda Hagan and hold an intervention to try and bring her round to their way of thinking and make her part of their world.
Lindsay details Paramount's failed attempt at a Grease franchise. Meanwhile, the Makeover Fairy tries as hard as she can to makeover ToddInTheShadows, the object of Lindsay's affections.
Lindsay looks back at a band from her childhood, TLC, from their humble beginnings as a band that was best known for promoting safe sex into a highly successful serious girl group that didn't have to shout 'Girl Power' to become famous. She also takes an emotional look at the death of the band's most famous member, Lisa 'Left-Eye' Lopes, and the feelings that were brought back up with the recent death of Amy Winehouse.
Inspired by the classic songs about bumping uglies from Grease 2, Lindsay counts down her top ten songs about doin' it from the stage and screen!
The Chick takes a look at the penultimate makeover movie of the nineties, teaching us that every nerdy girl needs a makeover, even when you're already as flawless as Rachel Leigh Cook. At the end of the video, the Makeover Fairy informs The Chick that she does not review many girly things anymore, so she promises to rectify this with reviews of every Meg Ryan movie ever made!
As the onslaught of Meg Ryan romantic comedies begins, the question is begged: What IS a chick flick, anyway? Lindsay tries to answer by examining two of Ryan's most popular movies: When Harry Met Sally, which actually has both male and female fans, and Sleepless in Seattle, which several males (including ToddInTheShadows) would prefer to skip.
You've got product placement!! The Chick takes a look at the Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks romcom with guest appearances by Visa, Starbucks, and AOL to name a few.
Here, The Chick struggles to define City of Angels. Is it a thought provoking drama? Contrived and cheap Hollywood schlock? Or simply a venue to show us Nicolas Cage's sex face?
The Chick's wade through Meg Ryan's filmography comes to an end! Now, she must discuss the ridiculousness of a lordly Hugh Jackman coming from the past to court Meg Ryan. This could the most gratuitous, idiotic movie ever made be- wait... fresh, creamery butter? Hugh Jackman's charm could redeem this movie in the eyes of girls and boys alike!
Back in the late nineties, a lot of classic literature was remade with teenages, and the Chick takes a look at what was probably the worst that could be chosen to set in high school. A remake of a remake of Dangerous Liasions (that became well-known partly due to a lesbian kiss in the middle), Lindsay looks at the acting... in particular, the fact that Sarah Michelle Gellar cannot play a three-dimensional villain. After comparing the film to its predecessor, the Chick states that Cruel Intentions isn't a terrible film but is a pretty shallow remake with no real effort put into it.
The beloved, not-so beloved, much griped-about Disney classic has been rereleased in 3D! But does the 3D add anything that wasn't already there, and is the Lion King really as great as we remember?
The bar is set for low standards for kids films. Guest starring the Nostalgia Critic as a fffffabulous Tim Curry impersonator.
Todd and the Chick team up to review Crossroads, a Britney Spears vehicle that was made just as her career was starting to hit the skids. Together they find out what happens when a coming-of-age film/vanity project tries to handle tough issues like parental abandonment, date rape, teenage pregnancy, adoption and miscarriage and fails completely...
A frivolous and silly countdowns of some of the more creatively gruesome life hazards of characters in Disney movies!
Join Lindsay with a look back at the N'Sync Christmas album, featuring voyeuristic Santas and many cheap, rushed Christmas-themed love songs.
How God Stole Christmas. Also, those shoes are hideous.
The Nostalgia Chick takes a look at the classic MTV show was also noted by Doug Walker to be his favourite television show ever (until he went and watched Avatar). Lindsay takes a look at Daria's origins as a side-character on Beavis and Butt-head, her dry and possibly condescending personality, her relationships with her family and friends, Two particular subjects that are examined are Daria's friendship with Jane (which is considered by Lindsay and many others to be the strongest aspect of the show) and her relationship with Tom in the final season (in particular, the fact that Daria essentially stole him from Jane who got over it afterwards). In the end, Lindsay declares Daria to be a excellent show for its time with only a couple of dud episodes and a satisfying finale.
Remember how Disney supplied us with an endless stream of inferior sequels, prequels and interquels, ruining our classic memories answering questions no-one asked? Yes! Well, Lindsay takes a look her personal top (or should that be bottom) ten Worst Disney Sequels:
Let's make one thing clear, these are not the best Disney sequels. Rather these are the Disney sequels that Lindsay found to be most tolerable.
A misogynist hot shot ad exec gains the power to hear women's thoughts. I bet this will be an insight into the female psyche the likes of which we've never seen.
..yeah. Here ya go.
Unfairly maligned lovable family story, or Disney's most offensively racist mistake? Surprisingly, it's neither.
Lindsay distracts you from footage of cute animals in distress. With more footage of cute animals (in distress). Warning: Not for the faint of heart!
A somber fellow who speaks for the Truffula trees, coming this spring, he sells big SUVs!
Whoopi Goldberg spins the world of these cloistered but loveable nuns and their downtrodden, inner city students... with urban gangsta flava!
How do you sell many different takes on the same peeing, pooping, crying, crawling, peeing, eating, and peeing thing? You gotta have a gimmick!
Lindsay goes over her top ten guilty pleasure movies, in rank of how embarrassed she is to like them. Let's face it, we all have them.
Before the live-action films, Alvin and the Chipmunks had a feature-length animated adventure. Lindsay teams up with the Nostalgia Critic to review the ultimate battle of Boys vs. Girls!
Could a film featuring Tom Green wearing a dead deer, spraying Rip Torn with elephant semen, jerking off a horse and swinging a newborn baby by the umbilical cord actually be considered art? Lindsay teams up with Oancitizen to find out.
Here come the Men in Black, galaxy defenders... and also its terrible, disappointment of a sequel.
Looking at the moment that Jon Peters finally managed to get a giant spider into a movie.
A look back on the highly influential and surprisingly long rap career of one Willard Smith, filled with woos, hahas, what whats and uhhs. Featuring the resident rap expert. (Oh, and Rap Critic is in it, too.)
Lindsay wraps up Will Smith month with Will's television roots of funky dances and getting tossed out of large houses, featuring the black nerd expert, the Black Nerd.
After a facebook poll, Lindsay reports the democratically ranked, ultra diverse group that were... 90's boybands. Just like on TRL. EEEEEE!!!
Lindsay attempts to scrape together a top eleven list of her favorite movies of all time... for now. Hope ya like sociopolitical themes tied in with fantastical elements!
Fun Don Bluth movie with talking, singing dogs, or the most profound spiritual parable of our time? You decide. Oh, and a big lipped alligator or something.
What does Orson Scott Card and Chick-Fil-A have in common? Tender and flakey breast meat. And oddly hardline stances on gay marriage that may or may not be good for business.
The Chick and Linkara take a look at the first major female superhero movie ever, the 1984 flop Supergirl. She fights for truth, justice, and with the villain over some random guy she just met. Girl power!
Lindsay looks back on the very best in inspirational Olympic movies in which athletes from a tropical island nation find out that ice is slippery!
Who says there are no decent superhero movies with female protagonists? Actually, Chick does. Because there aren't any. :(
Lindsay reviews the 2000 film Charlie's Angels while wearing a burqa. (Nella's note; it's not actually a burqa, it's a niqab.)
Just in time for International Geena Davis Day, take a trip back with one of the greatest (and least-remembered) box office disasters of all time, Cutthroat Island!
Lindsay goes back to the DSL and dial-up age, a time when flash cartoons roamed free, surreal randomness was the Internet buzzword, and when non-English-speakers dancing cheesily was the best thing ever. (Okay, some things don't really change).
Shut the f*** up, 1994.
Lindsay enlists the help of her undead neighbor, Mara Wilson, to take a look back on why people still adore Danny DeVito's 1996 film, Matilda, all while ducking Mara's infernal rage.
A look at the spooooky Tim Burton film, filled with spoooky fake blood, spooooky blue filter and spooooky Christopher Walken.
Up until 2001, the fantasy genre had no mega-successful, money chugging, critical darling film franchise to its name. Up steps a portly kiwi man with a beard and a penchant for splatter horror
The middle chapter of one of the most ambitious film adaptations of all time; where did it soar, and where did it fall apart like an orc running an Olympic torch into a pile of bombs? And why are you such a jerk, Faramir?
The beginning of the end brings the beginning of the end of so many questions... like who SHOULD Eowyn have ended up with? And will Samwise ever get help for his deep, troublesome anger problems?
And now the most important discussion one can have regarding the Lord of the Rings films, gay hobbits. Featuring special gay hobbit guest Rantasmo.
Remember that romantic comedy David Duchovny did? That involved organ transplants? No? Well, happy Valentine's Day anyway.
Lindsay and her new sassy gay friend Rantasmo take a look at the Disney company's subtle but complex relationship to the gay community... gurrrrrrrrrlllll!
How many music 90's-related listicles has Buzzfeed done by now? All of them? Well, who cares, I like music videos; here are Lindsay's favorites from that decade we're all sick of being nostalgic about.
Lindsey marks her comeback with the film that really launched the '90s quirky TV nostalgia film trend.
Yes, The Mortal Instruments, the last in a string in YA adaptations, flopped. Yes, it was terrible. But that's not necessarily the book's fault.
In which succubus gold diggers want Uncle Fester's money (again), and Wednesday will take no more of your shit.
Between charisma black hole Pierce Brosnan, human meat shield Tommy Lee Jones, the end of racism and silly heroic sacrifices, volcano movies have so much to offer.
Lindsay, Nella, and special guest Mara Wilson take a trip down memory lane with some terrible and terrible for you food they ate as children (and only as children)
So Divergent's out, so let's do a quick rundown of all the many, many YA movies that came out last year, generalize a bunch and speculate on what's to come, shall we?
Roland Emmerich wanted to make a big political statement with a disaster movie. It's ... adorable?
It's the 90's vs. the 00's in the epic battle of alien invasion movies!
How does War of the Worlds, despite being so awesome, suck so much?
James Cameron had some feelings about women and minorities and made himself a big dumb movie.
