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Private Notes
The club has burnt down (rival Den Perry did it) and Brian has been barred from holding a licence due to safety shortcuts and insurance fiddles. But, inspired by old mate Hoss Cartwright (Jim Bowen) who runs Blackpool's La Ponderosa, Brian has plans for a revival. He needs the help of his former employees, especially Jerry St Clair, who has been reduced to the role of singing salesman at Asda. Features Bob Carolgees and Spit The Dog hosting a Kilroy-like TV talk show.
The Phoenix Club hosts a family fun day in the car park in order to raise the funds to reopen the club. Brian is annoyed that the bouncy castle he ordered has male genitalia hanging off the front of it, but it is transformed into Sammy the snake [a green sheet is thrown over it and it has ""layed two snake's eggs.""] Brin then reveals to Jerry his big pink paradise- a portable toilet with pennny chews in the condom machine and a ball pool made out of some scaffolding covered in bubble wrap and some old footballs from the roof. Jerry is not impressed, especially when he has to dress up as a giant red berry. Some children roll Jerry around in his costume after his opening number, while a friend of Ray Von's paints Young Kenny's face with spray paint. At the end, some mischevious children raise the pressure on the bouncy castle, lifting up the giant inflatable penis , which then exploded, leaving fifteen people with rubber burns that needed treatment in hospital.
To get publicity, Brian arranges for the Phoenix Club to be featured on TV show Crimetime (presented by Stuart Maconie), recreating the night of the blaze. It turns into a blatant plug for the club – and features Jerry's performance of Reach For The Stars. Meanwhile, the Chinese cooks are stir frying everything and the seedy Spencer (Daniel Kitson) is hired as a barman.
Brian decides to have a Quiz night, without Jerry's Knowledge, he offers a very generous prize.
Brian is trapped on his stairlift in a powercut ("What would Thora Hird do?"). It's Ladies' Night at the club, where Patrick steps in to strip (as Lord Love Rocket) for the sex-crazed women. Max gets asked by a woman to bump off her husband.
Jerry's cured, Brian's got the final of Talent Trek, Max & Paddy are scared they're going to get shot and the backing band can't make it. A new backing band, Right Said Frank are introduced, but axed very quickly after they start breaking into cars. Les & Alan get their job back and everyone's happy. Oh, except Den Perry, who's facing a lengthy prison sentence after unwittenly admitting to burning down the club in Series 1. The audition, there's none, but Ant & Dec, the two stowaways have found themselves on the door.
