The boys are at the bus stop and they seem to be reliving events that they went through 6 seasons earlier; that is Kyle "kicking the baby" his little brother Ike and Cartman talking about his strange dream, which the other boys identify as visitors. What's going on in South Park? Did the boys travel back in time, or is some sinister force at work?
Jimmy is tired of the entire town talking about how great that "butthole" Christopher Reeve is. Jimmy and Timmy decide the only real "crips" are those who were crippled from birth. They then decide to seek out a gang with similar feelings. It's safe to say Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are staying out of this one.
The boys are given a detention due to their attitudes in art class. Cartman decides that they need to toilet paper (TP) the art teacher's house in revenge.
After participating in a walk-out against the war in Iraq, Mr. Garrison tells the boys they have to write a report on the founding fathers. Cartman decides he's going to figure out a way to flashback to the past and learn all about history first hand.
For a report on Cultural Diversity, Cartman chooses to do one on Latinos in the arts with the help of a Jennifer Lopez hand puppet. Later, at the mall, the puppet insists they make a music video, which launches the hand puppet's musical career. There's just one problem, the REAL J-Lo shows up to protest the hand's authenticity.
The boys are playing "junior detectives," and have to find a kidnapped doll. After a daring rescue, they are taken back to Park County Police Headquarters. Upon their arrival, the Chief makes them "real" junior detectives and gives them their first assignment: breaking up a meth lab. The boys soon learn being real detectives isn't as fun as they thought.
The owners of the Three Feathers Indian Casino have decided to buy out the town of South Park in order to create a super-highway from Denver to their Casino. The townfolk only have one night to make $350,000. So they head to the casino...
The metrosexual fad has hit South Park thanks to the "Queer Eye Guys," and all the men in town are affected, except for Kyle and his Dad. Stan, Kenny, and Cartman give Kyle a makeover, and Gerald isn't far behind. Soon the women of South Park grow tired of the fad, as does Mr. Garrison.
The boys have hit a crossroads with their band "Moop." Cartman wants the band to play Christian Rock, and leaves the band when Stan, Kyle, and Kenny don't agree. Before leaving, Cartman bets Kyle $10 that he will get a platinum album with a Christian Rock band before "Moop" can.
Due to a rise in deaths due to senior citizens behind the wheel, the State of Colorado has revoked all the driver licenses of senior citizens. Soon after, the AARP shows up to fight for the rights of their comrades.
Kyle is going to Casa Bonita for his birthday, but he can only bring three friends. He chooses Stan, Kenny, and Butters. Cartman, outraged by not being chosen, comes up with a plan to take Butters out of the picture.
A new student, Gary Harrison, joins the 4th grade. Gary is a Mormon from Utah. The children decide he needs to get his ass kicked, and they choose Stan to do it. After an awkward exchange of words, Stan is invited to Gary's house, where he learns all about Mormons.
After seeing an auditorium presentation on the dangers of smoking (and in some ways, not smoking), the boys light up behind the school and are soon caught in the middle of Rob Reiner's Anti-Tobacco campaign.
In an effort to find some closure in breaking up with Wendy, the boys take Stan to Raisins (a junior Hooters) so he can forget about her. Meanwhile, a trip to Raisins does big things for Butters, as he falls in love with a waitress.
When Ike is claimed by his Canadian birth parents, the boys set out to gain an audience with the Canadian Prime Minister. Meanwhile, Cartman's biggest concern is that the boys don't spend all of Christmas in Canada.