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Private Notes
The Big Audition Studios opens its doors for the very first time with three very different jobs on offer: dog model, tv shopping presenter and King Henry VIII. The waiting room is filled with barking, as a pack of pooches compete for a contract worth £12,000 and the chance to be the cover star of leading dog magazines Dogs Today and Dogs Monthly. The wannabe dog models include a Chihuahua with a wardrobe to die for, a Mexican hairless often mistaken for a hyena, a rescue dog with one eye and a sausage dog who can balance a jaw-dropping array of objects on his head. TV shopping channel ‘Ideal World’ are looking for a new fitness presenter. A panel from the company are searching for someone engaging, unflappable and skilled at selling. Olympic bobsledder Toby, nervous Liverpudlian Holly and Wigan window cleaner Barry are amongst the hopefuls out to prove they’ve got what it takes. The final king-sized casting is for the prestigious role of playing Henry VIII at Hampton Court. Several of the potential Henrys arrive in full royal regalia, from the bling to the tights. But who will be crowned King? Will it be historical novelist Tony? Or perhaps bus driver James, who believes he’s destined to succeed because his route takes him past Hampton Court every day? As each panel gathers to make their decision and with tension mounting in the waiting room, the decisions are finally revealed. Meet best dog, new TV talent and your King.
This week, real panels of employers are casting for a hand model, a children’s TV presenter and a John Lennon for a top Beatles tribute band. Kids’ TV channel CITV are searching for a new presenter for their flagship show ‘Scrambled’. It’s the audition of a lifetime for hopefuls including seasoned presenter Tinea, inexperienced Huddersfield lass Alyce and Kerry, a former professional dancer whose dancing career ended suddenly when she broke her leg running for a tube. To succeed, the auditionees must remember their lines, deliver their best jokes and, in their biggest challenge, deal with Mr Cuddle Monster, the cheeky ‘Scrambled’ puppet. Top cosmetics brand ‘Barry M’ are auditioning for a hand model to show off their cosmetic range. Among those hoping to grab the coveted contract are veteran hand model Nicki and waitress Ruby, who’s at her first ever audition. The fascinating world of hand modelling is revealed, a world of sleeping in gloves, soaking hands in moisturiser and never doing the washing up. The Upbeat Beatles, one of the world’s most successful Beatles tribute bands, are casting for a new John Lennon. It’s a full time gig and the job spec calls for musical skill, stage presence and an authentic Liverpudlian accent. Those saying ‘Please Please Me’ include Gary, a Brummie postie, and Gaz, who’s such a fan of the Upbeat Beatles he booked them for his wedding. This is a Magical Mystery Tour of an audition that ends with the Johns joining the rest of the band for a joyful singalong of ‘Twist and Shout’. All the auditionees face a nail biting wait until the end of the day, when they’ll find out if they’re leaving with a life-changing new job.
It’s another day at the Big Audition Studios, where the curtain is pulled back on the secret world of auditions. Each week, three jobs are up for grabs. From scare actor to circus performer and everything in between, the series celebrates the highs and lows of auditions, as real people give their all to impress real panels of employers and land their dream job. The auditions today are for a pantomime dame, a backstage interviewer and a presenter for a TV shopping channel dedicated to crafting. Expect towering wigs, extravagant lipstick and OTT costumes as the curtain is raised on the search for a dame to star in one of the nation’s premier pantos in Blackburn. Amongst those shoving a couple of balloons up their tops are veteran dame Tony, former cabin crew Del, drag queen Richard, and Robin, who brings his wife along for moral support… and help with his make-up. Among the tests set for the dames is a show-stopping group performance of ‘It’s Raining Men’. MOBO, the renowned music awards, are searching for someone to interview A-listers and create social media content for their online channels. Hopefuls include identical twins Gareth and Mason, young dad Kevin and Mz Dru, who dreams of becoming a presenter whilst working shifts as a medical secretary. The biggest test they face is a surprise interview with Marvin Humes of JLS. Some take the encounter with pop royalty in their stride; others crumble under the pressure. TV shopping channel Create and Craft are casting for a presenter. It’s a prestigious job at the pinnacle of the crafting world. The auditionees include 68-year-old grandma Francie, hairdresser Hayley, who crafts with her young daughters, and Zack, who shows off his hand-made and astonishingly lifelike paper birds. The crafters come out all glue guns blazing, tackling tasks such as transforming a styrofoam ball. The results include an impressive Christmas bauble, an adorable pig… and Mr Blobby. After their auditions, a
