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Private Notes
In the first episode we are introduced to Eddie and Joy Stamm, who have been married for 8000+ days while their new next door neighbors Steph and Jeff Woodcock are young newlyweds. The young couple ends up having an argument over a pool table which ends up migrating next door.
Joy dreads dealing with Eddie about replacing the patio furniture until Steph tells her about a "special" type of deal she makes with Jeff to get the furniture she wants. In both households, a war over distressed patina finishes becomes a power struggle about who wears the pants - and who buys the furniture.
When the Woodcocks and the Starks go out for a thank-you dinner, Joy yearns for more romance from Eddie and asks him why she never received the engagement ring she was promised. With a little help from Jeff, Eddie gives Joy a ring, which she reluctantly accepts - but grows to love in her own special way.
Eddie looks to the newlyweds next door to help him keep his woodpile in the garage when Joy tells him to "use it or lose it."
When Eddie tells Joy that he's practicing with his band, he feels he has to lie to her, but Joy already knows what Eddie is actually.
Jeff is thrilled when his mother comes for a visit, but tension builds between him and Steph when he chooses his mother over her. Jeff goes to his neighbors for help, but ends up more conflicted than ever. Between Joy insisting he send his mom home and Eddie instructing him to secretly make his mom No. 1, Jeff must learn the delicate art of balancing the women in his life.
Steph and Jeff convince Eddie and Joy to join them for a getaway in the mountains, but when Steph tells Jeff she had an erotic dream about Eddie, their vacation is anything but relaxing for the Woodcocks.
After an injury Eddie is sure that he's going to die. With that fear Eddie and Joy rekindle the romance. Eddie decides to take advantage of the situation when he finds out he's fine, by not telling Joy the truth.
When Joy attempts to persuade Eddie that unplugging the toaster saves electricity, Eddie is convinced that his wife is mistaken. Stubbornly, they bicker until Eddie decides to take it to the next level and goes out of his way to prove Joy wrong in a series of failed attempts. It doesn't take long before Eddie and Joy come to realize their childish behavior is inappropriate when they ruin Steph's surprise party.
Eddie and Joys daughter, Allison, comes home for the holidays to celebrate New Years with her parents. When she gets some bad news from her boyfriend, Allison turns to her mother for help, leaving a snubbed Eddie perplexed. At the Woodcocks New Year's Eve party, Eddie lightens up his mood to impress his daughter, but as the clock strikes midnight and a new year begins, Allison realizes she likes her "big, dark, angry, wonderful dad" just the way he is.
While attending Vicki and Stan's 25th anniversary party, Joy can't help feeling jealous at the attention Stan pays to his wife. Eddie gets advice from Stan about his role in the marriage. Jeff is embarrassed by Steph's dancing.
Jeff is heartbroken and angry when Steph reveals that she won't be his Hockey Girl any longer. Eddie later muses that it's normal for new couples to lie and that they will eventually grow apart because of it, but Joy insists that she and Eddie are actually becoming more similar as they grow old together. As Jeff tries to accept that his wife is not the woman he thought she was, Eddie tries to prove to Joy that he is his own man.
Joy turns to a friend, Nicole for help when she and Eddie are fighting. When Eddie confronts Joy about Nicole, they get into a heated argument and seek support from their respective fight friends. Joy teaming up with Nicole, and Eddie with Nicole's husband Cofeld, in order to prove their points.
When Joy gives Eddie permission to have a female friend, the pair bond over their history. Meanwhile, Jeff tries to be cool and uses Steph to get in with the cool high school kids. Later, when Eddie and his friend get too close, Joy takes on some history of her own.
When the guys discover that Jeff never had a bachelor party, they have a boys night out at a local club. But when Nicole tags along with Cofeld, the guys night doesn't turn out as they planned. Meanwhile, Joy is sick at home and Steph comes over with a special recipe to help them both feel better.
When Joy accuses Eddie of being a pack rat, he and Jeff go through piles of ancient items from Eddie's past. The duo comes upon an old roll of film, which Jeff agrees to get developed. When Eddie sees the photos of himself and Joy having a great time in Italy, he is reminded of how the vacation ended and a moment he and Joy never discuss. In order to make things right, Eddie does all he can to relieve their trip to Italy right there in the suburbs of Philadelphia.
When Eddie and Joy visit Allison for parents weekend, they share a dorm room with a partying single father. When Allison lets them know her new major and next semesters plans, Eddie and Joy try their best to convince her to do otherwise but realize that their own mistakes led them to where they are today. Meanwhile, Jeff hires someone to help Steph tile the bathroom, which brings out the worst in her.
When the Woodcocks strike up a close friendship with the Cofelds, the Starks feel left out. Much to their surprise, they find they really miss their time with Jeff and Steph. Eddie and Joy set out to win the Woodcocks friendship back.
Steph gives Eddie and Joy a cappuccino maker that was a wedding gift from Jeffs mom. Joy loves the gift, but Eddie soon begins to resent Joy for not learning how to work the machine herself. When Eddie refuses to make Joy her nightly cappuccino, she makes a list of all the things she does around the house and comes to the conclusion that Eddie doesn't do enough.
When Joy and Allison (guest star Krysten Ritter) meet for Spring Break in Florida, Eddie is thrilled to have the house to himself where he can eat, sleep, wear whatever he wants and hang out with Cofeld (guest star Anthony Anderson). But when the week doesnt go exactly as planned, Eddie realizes how much he misses Joy. Meanwhile, Joy and Allison arent missing Eddie too much as they work-it on the beach.
When one of Eddies single idols comes for a visit, Eddie is in awe, while Joy is unimpressed by Webbys (guest star Ted McGinley) lifestyle of wild adventures and exotic travels. To Joy, Webby is running away from the one thing that can make him truly happy: a committed relationship. Ignoring Eddies warnings, Joy sets Webby up with Denise (guest star Tricia Fisher), who tames Webbys ways. When Webby is ready to settle down, Denise lets Joy know that shes not interested. Meanwhile, Jeff is miserable at the sight of his crying wife in an incredibly ugly shirt. Later, summer vacation has begun and Allison (guest-star Krysten Ritter) surprises her parents when she brings Doug (guest-star Tim Sharp) home. When Allison and Doug spend their days enjoying the summer, Steph convinces Eddie to join them. Meanwhile, Jeff and Joy feel left out and annoyed by their partners happiness but finally get convinced to join in.
Summer vacation has begun and Allison surprises her parents when she brings Doug (guest-star Timm Sharp) home. When Allison and Doug spend their days enjoying the summer, Steph gets Eddie to join them. Jeff and Joy feel left out and annoyed by their partners happiness but finally are persuaded to join in.
When Eddie thinks Joy made a fool of herself at Steph's birthday party he decides it is time to tell her about her irritating habits. She lets him know about his own irritating habits. Steph isn't happy when Jeff gives her a gift she has wanted for a long time.
Eddie and Joy feel left out when they are the only neighbors not included in an elderly neighbor's funeral. After Joy is asked to sing Eddie feeling jealous, tries to find something for him to do also. Steph and Jeff disagree about the eulogy Steph is planning to give.
Jeff recruits Eddie for a faculty basketball team, but Eddie has a secret despite his height he is terrible at the sport. This is a problem because Eddie lied to Joy about his supposed prowess while they were dating, and he never told her the truth.
Steph decides that she wants to watch an adult video with Jeff, who has never seen one, so he asks his colleagues at school for advice. That's how Eddie gets into trouble with Joy, who is in no mood for nonsense following a disastrous visit to the gym.
When Steph introduces Eddie to yoga and Jeff turns Joy on to tennis, the couples spend more and more time with their friends and less time with each other. The swap seems successful until Jeff's competitive streak emerges and Joy tries to bow out of tennis lessons.
Eddie & Joy prepare for Jeff’s birthday dinner. Eddie doesn’t want to give lingerie as a gift. Eddie decides to give his own gift. At the birthday dinner with a few other couples, Eddie orders 2 desserts for himself. Steph tries on the lingerie. Jeff feels like Eddie doesn’t pay any attention to him. Jeff’s feelings are hurt when he realizes only Joy gave him the gift. Steph gives up on trying having a romantic evening. Eddie gets a perfect bottle of wine for Jeff which Jeff likes. Joy finds out that Eddie gave Jeff a special $1,000.00 bottle of wine she’d been keeping in their house. Eddie and Joy try to get the bottle of wine back and Jeff finally realizes that Eddie is trying to retrieve it. Joy and Eddie get kicked out of the Woodcock’s house, but Jeff eventually gives the bottle of wine back and the two of them bond over a shared drink.
When Joy purchases two new bedroom lamps, one lamp works and the other one is broken, prompting Eddie and Joy to fight over the working lamp. Meanwhile, Jeff fights for the right to go to bed whenever he wants.
When Jeff becomes acting principal at the school, he thinks his ship has finally come in and this is his chance to shine. However, when he has to make an important decision, he chokes and winds up suspending Eddie.
Joy is annoyed by Steph, who has developed an attitude from her husband’s elevated status at the school. In Eddie’s absence, Jeff searches for a substitute teacher and ends up hiring someone a little too close to home.
To avoid doing housework with Joy, Eddie signs up to be a volunteer for a "Big Brother" program but things go awry when he's accidentally given an adult instead of a kid to mentor.
When Kenny is subjected to a perceived racist slight at a local movie theater, he reacts strongly causing Eddie to rush to his defense. In the aftermath, Eddie decides that Kenny over-reacted and resolves to prove it to him.
When Joy and Eddie have a pregnancy scare, Joy convinces Eddie to get a vasectomy. Nervous about the procedure, Eddie takes advice from Kenny and pretends that he wants more children in order to avoid the trip to Dr. Park.
When Joy accuses Eddie of not being able to express his emotions, they enroll in a couple's seminar to strengthen their relationship and help Eddie get in touch with his feelings. During the retreat their teacher, Dr. Friedman pushes her new age therapy leaving a bad taste in their mouths. Meanwhile, Kenny tries to help Eddie get in touch with his sensitive side and Jeff admits his sensitivity to Steph.
When Eddie's friend Karl introduces him to his second wife, Eddie becomes jealous of Karl's relaxed marriage and convinces Joy that they should try out a "second marriage." Joy has her own ideas of how a "second marriage" should be causing Eddie to re-think his suggestion
When Joy calls off their usual anniversary celebration and surprises Eddie with a gift, he decides to one-up her with a special snorkeling trip to Hawaii requiring him to take swimming lessons from Kenny.
When Joy can't flirt her way out of her first speeding ticket, she considers buying new lingerie and getting plastic surgery to help her get her "groove" back. Meanwhile, Kenny and Tina continue to fight over custody of their beloved dog, Beyonce.
When Eddie takes his car into the shop, he decides it's time for a new set of wheels and purchases a red convertible sports car. Joy recognizes that Eddie's passion for his new car is part of his mid-life crisis, so in a play for his attention she flirts with her co-worker. Meanwhile, Kenny buys Eddie's old clunker and tricks it.
When Kenny becomes Joy's new "girlfriend," Eddie feels left out and gets jealous of their girl-talk. In an attempt to feel included, Eddie crashes Joy's '70s-themed work party and sends Joy to the hospital in a disco mishap.
Eddie and Joy's daughter, Allison, comes home from college for a visit. She and her hippie boyfriend argue and decide to break up, which is fine with Eddie until he finds out that Doug is wealthy. Eddie and Joy then try to get the two back together by inviting Doug over for an organic dinner feast. Meanwhile, Kenny just wants them to get back together so he can get his bedroom back.
When Eddie and Joy spend a romantic night out in the city, Joy becomes enamored with city life and decides they should move downtown. Eddie tries to convince her to keep their house in the suburbs, but a visit to a new downtown loft development tempts him with fancy modern conveniences and causes him to reconsider his decision.
Kenny freaks out after losing his swim trunks at a water park and his new girlfriend notices he isn't circumcised. When he decides to go under the knife, Joy is impressed by his efforts to please a girl he hardly knows and badgers Eddie to do more nice things for her. Eddie tries to get Kenny to back out of his decision so he won't have to accompany Joy to six weeks of musicals in the park and takes him to a bris so he can see what circumcision looks like.
Joy discovers that Eddie has been hiding his favorite meatball-sandwich shop from her. This helps her come to the realization that they can't keep secrets from each other anymore because they've been married so long and seem to know everything about each other. Meanwhile, Steph's comments about her less-than-mysterious marriage prompt Joy to propose that she and Eddie come up with a new secret in hopes of spicing things up.
Eddie and Joy's free-spirited daughter, Ally, returns from a trek in the Ecuadorian rain forest with her new husband, Doug. When Ally and Doug decide to set up camp in a trailer in the Starks' backyard, they ultimately ruin Eddie's plans for installing a Jacuzzi. Meanwhile, Eddie and Joy attempt to overcome their dislike of Doug and accept him as a member of the family.
Joy and Eddie decide to get separate beds after years of putting up with each other's sleep habits. Meanwhile Eddie's new principal turns out to be a former student with an agenda.
When Doug's father gives him and Ally a large sum of money, they struggle with the decision to keep it or give it back. Meanwhile, Eddie decides to write a book about the Hindenburg disaster.
When Eddie and Joy try to live without complaining, Eddie finds that repressing his true feelings makes him sick. Meanwhile, Kenny creates problems for parents when he works as a mall Santa.
When Eddie and Joy pay a visit to his parents in Florida, Eddie discovers that his parents are planning to divorce in order to qualify for medical insurance. Eddie refuses to accept the idea and tries to convince his mother that it's a bad decision to put his father back on the market.
Joy's fun and beautiful new friend Eileen also happens to be Eddie's ex-girlfriend. At first, the friendship doesn't seem to be a problem until Joy invites Eileen over to the house and Eddie gets himself in trouble by reminiscing a little too fondly about the past. Meanwhile, Kenny thinks he's doing something nice for his new girlfriend by babysitting her kids, but doesn't realize she may be using him.
After Kenny's ex-wife kicks him out of their house, Eddie invites Kenny to stay with him and Joy. Eddie quickly realizes that Joy is a lot nicer when Kenny is around, so Eddie tries to get Kenny to stay with them longer, but Kenny's annoying habits have Joy trying desperately to reconnect the estranged couple.
When Joy loses her job at the travel agency, she must use her best assets to find work elsewhere. Meanwhile, Eddie takes Doug to his favorite restaurant.
When Eddie buys a high-definition television without checking with Joy first, she decides to join in the spending spree. Meanwhile, Doug suspects he is living on a sitcom.
When Joy urges Eddie to get a check-up from their doctor, Simona (Susan Yeagley), Eddie becomes enamored with her and her husband, Stephen (Kevin Nealon), and their seemingly perfect life. Joy becomes annoyed when Eddie becomes ardent about taking Simona's advice, even though Joy has been nagging him for years, and decides to prove to Eddie that Simona isn't as perfect as she seems.
When Eddie attends their annual baseball game date without Joy, they realize that they can have separate lives, but at what cost? Meanwhile, Ally and Doug try to save a tree but end up causing a tree disease epidemic in the neighborhood.
When it is realized that Eddie is grouchy because he isn't sleeping well he gets treatment. Unfortunately Joy can't sleep without him snoring so now she is the grouchy one.
Eddie and Joy pick sides when their friends break-up, but when they get back together it ends up costing them.
When Eddie and Joy befriend Stephen (guest star Nealon) and his wife Simona, Eddie clicks with them right away, which causes Joy to feel left out. In an effort to win Joy over, Eddie coaches their new friends on her all her likes and dislikes. Meanwhile, Kenny starts a new job as a supermarket sample salesman only to realize that sample distribution can be a competitive biz
When Joy convinces Eddie to visit Simona for an annual check-up, he catches a nasty head cold before his big interview with a Hindenburg blimp survivor. Meanwhile, Joy can't understand why Simona won't pay her a compliment.
When Joy goes overboard planning Ally and Doug's wedding, Eddie convinces them to elope. Kenny agrees to officiate the ceremony, but when Joy finds out about their plans she persuades Eddie to help her stop the wedding.
When the Starks meet Simona and Stephen for dinner, they decide to ditch them with the bill resulting in an all-out dining war between the couples. Meanwhile, Joy makes Eddie's life miserable at work.
When Eddie befriends a new teacher at school, they find they have a lot in common, but Ms. Duffy has other plans for their relationship. Meanwhile, Eddie and Joy reminisce about the music they loved in the 1980s.
Eddie tries to get a raise so he and Joy can go on vacation, but he has a tough time convincing his principal. Meanwhile, Doug's delusion that he is a character on a sitcom gets even worse.
When Joy and Eddie meet their rather unconventional new neighbors, Tommy (guest star Gottfried) and April Campbell, Eddie can't seem to get the idea of being with a younger woman out of his head. Meanwhile, Eddie and Joy hold a yard sale, and the new neighbors want to buy everything they're selling.
It's the night before Ally and Doug's big day, and everyone is nervous about what tomorrow will bring. Consequentially, everyone dreams up a different wedding disaster.
When Allison's boyfriend Doug is hospitalized, she rushes to his bedside only to be surprised with a proposal. No one is more surprised by their daughter's engagement than Eddie and Joy who plot to put the brakes on wedding planning. Meanwhile, Kenny tries to get Eddie's car repaired without success.
When Joy's mother pays her daughter a visit, she drives Joy up the wall with her constant criticism, and Eddie makes a valiant attempt to ease the tension. Meanwhile, Eddie meets with a publisher who wants to turn Eddie's manuscript into a children's picture book.
When Joy and Eddie experiment with role-playing to spice up their love life, they realize that pretending to be someone else isn't as sexy as being themselves. Meanwhile, to supplement his income, Kenny tries finding lost dogs to collect the reward money.
Eddie and Joy want to downgrade to a smaller house, but Doug and Ally aren't ready to move out on their own. Meanwhile, when Duffy dumps Whitey (guest star Martin Mull), he moves in with Eddie and Joy as a way of coping, but he quickly overstays his welcome and Joy wants him out.
Eddie and Joy make the wrong impression on a newlywed couple while on vacation and Joy goes out of her way to try and convince the young bride that wedded life is bliss and not how they made it seem. Meanwhile, Kenny and Doug start spending time together, and Allison becomes jealous of their new friendship.
When Ally and Doug announce that they're going to be parents, Joy has a meltdown about becoming a grandmother, forcing Eddie to call in his mother-in-law for help.
Eddie becomes annoyed by his students' use of cell phones in class, and soon learns that he and Joy are the only ones not infatuated with the latest technology. When Mr. White decides to drag Eddie into the 21st century, Eddie develops a technology addiction of his own.
Eddie feels self-conscious when Tommy (guest star Gottfried) and Mr. White (guest star Mull) boast about their endowments, so Joy does her best to convince him that being average is just fine. Meanwhile, Doug and Ally have their first sonogram, and it appears that their unborn son doesn't take after Eddie.
With Eddie's brother, Charlie, and his new boyfriend, Terence, coming to visit, Eddie isn't exactly looking forward to a weekend of wine-tasting and antiquing. Much to Eddie's surprise, though, he hits it off with Terence as they both opt to watch football over participating in the planned weekend activities. When Charlie breaks up with Terence, Joy sides with Charlie and ends up questioning her relationship with Eddie.
When Joy loses her job at Eddie's school, she accepts a position as Stephen's (guest star Nealon) executive assistant. The new gig leaves her miserable, leading Eddie and Mr. White (guest star Mull) to scheme a way to get Joy her old job back.
Joy goes overboard planning for Ally's baby shower and becomes obsessed with baby gifts. Meanwhile, Mr. White has difficulty giving Ally and Doug their shower gift, and Dr. Bialik invites her "Blossom" castmates to participate in a therapy session for Doug.
When Whitey decides to throw a surprise party for his 93-year-old grumpy uncle, his party guests are surprised to discover that Whitey is a hoarder and his house is overflowing with junk. Meanwhile, Eddie is in a rush to get to the party but Joy, Doug and Ally all take their time getting ready to go.
Eddie's book finally gets published, but on the day of his book signing, Ally goes into labor and everyone shows up to welcome the new addition to the family. Meanwhile, Eddie gives Doug fatherhood tips, and Ally apologizes to Joy for being a terrible daughter.
Joy feels inferior for not finishing college, so she decides to hit the books and earn her degree. Although she passes her classes, Eddie isn't satisfied with her grades, and he decides to take matters into his own hands, which leads to Joy getting kicked out of school.
When Joy gets angry at Eddie for forgetting her birthday, she decides to cash in on all the coupons he has given her over the years for massages, pedicures and chores. Meanwhile, Kenny convinces Eddie that he needs to surprise her with a handbag in order to be forgiven. Unfortunately for Eddie, Joy decides to return the handbag and finds out the hard way that it's a fake.
When Joy suspects Eddie of keeping secrets from her, she decides to launch an investigation. Eddie turns to his friends Kenny and Karl for advice, and decides to give Joy a fake story in hopes of appeasing her.
