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Private Notes
As the Garnetts celebrate Christmas, Alf berates Rita and Mike for only giving him 'Whiffs' as opposed to real cigars and second-rate socks - whilst they have bought Else a dress - and accuses his atheist son of hypocrisy.
Alf and the family discuss a TV documentary on free love while wallpapering the living room.
Mike challenges Alf to see who can give up smoking the longest.
This episode no longer exists in the BBC Archive.
Charity appeals and an argument about the Vietnam war are interrupted by a driver parking his lorry outside.
This episode no longer exists in the BBC Archive.
Mike has been getting increased dole money by making out that Alf is a heartless money-grabbing landlord.
This episode no longer exists in the BBC Archive.
Alf arrives home to an empty house and burnt supper and tries to use the local phone box to remedy the situation.
This episode no longer exists in the BBC Archive but a remake of the original was made in 2016 under a series called "Lost Sitcoms".
Alf claims Edward VIII was a friend of his father who used to attend the local football matches.
The only surviving clip from this episode is of the Garnetts discussing the royal picture. This was shown on the 1972 Late Night Line-Up Special on Johnny Speight.
Alf is ill in bed while everyone else is downstairs enjoying the television. A visit from the decrepit Dr. Kelly results in a verdict of "nothing wrong with you", so Alf sets off in search of a second opinion.
Alf is enraged to learn that Harold Wilson is to play host to the Russian president. Even worse, he reads that the Queen will have to meet this Bolshevik heathen - something that ought not to happen to someone who is descended from God.
Alf lectures everyone on the benefits of Mary Whitehouse's edifying new book - a rhapsody that is abruptly interrupted when the diarrhoea from which he's suffering flares up. At that point he discoverers that their loo isn't working due to Else's tea leaves...
