If you ever wanted a Scott Pilgrim show with barely any Scott Pilgrim in it, then this one’s for you!
This is the most amazing movie I have ever seen. This is art. This movie will become minimum 10% of my personality from today until the day I die. I walked out of the movie theater a changed man. Some of my favorite moments from the movie:
Dakota Johnson starts off the movie by stealing a taxi. Nobody questions this. She spends the entire movie driving this stolen taxi. She removes the license plates from the taxi to apparently make it more inconspicuous (???). She crashes the taxi into a diner, completely ruining it. She still drives the taxi. No character questions this at all. This has become her car. She then randomly decides to go to PERU (????). She drives the taxi to the airport. Then she drives back home in the taxi. This implies that she parks the stolen taxi, which is beat up, busted, and has no license plates, at the airport for at least a week with nobody asking questions.
Dakota Johnson's sole superpower in this movie is vehicular manslaughter. I am not kidding. The main way she deals with the bad guy is by crashing a big vehicle into him unexpectedly. Not once, but twice in the movie. Also, this bad guy can see the future. And it still happens. Incredible.
This movie is sponsored by Pepsi. Dakota Johnson spends five minutes of the movie trying (and failing) to open the most blue, unblemished can of Pepsi I have ever seen in my life. Five minutes she is just holding this thing, rubbing it, stroking it like a genie, pulling the tab, tapping it. She never opens it.
Also, the villain is defeated when the gigantic neon letter P from the logo on the exploding Pepsi-Co factory falls on him and squishes him to death.
There is not a single line in this movie spoken by the villain that was not ADRed. It's fantastic. He sounds exactly like Tommy Wiseau.
During a dramatic flashback in the movie, we watch Dakota Johnson's mother find out that her child was going to have a disability. But in case any of the viewers are too dull to interpret the literal dialogue that she is saying correctly, Dakota Johnson is providing CONSTANT dialogue in addition to this explaining to the dull viewers exactly what's going on. "But I don't have muscular distrophy..." "So THAT'S why you went to find the spiders." And my personal favorite, "You did it..." The way Dakota Johnson says "You did it" is seared into my brain and will be forever how I say those words from now on. They are just too fucking funny.
Dakota Johnson uses the taxi from earlier to kidnap a bunch of teenagers and decides to leave them in the forest for hours. The teenagers literally say "Maybe you shouldn't be leaving us in a forest like this?" and Dakota is just like "No stay right there, byeeee" and then goes back to NYC in the stolen taxi and cries with her cat about her mom and spiders. Then she gets mad when the teenagers go to a diner to get food because she also left them in the forest without anything to eat and without any way to contact her. In fact the moment a teenager mentioned a cell phone, she immediately threw the cell phone out the window without asking any questions.
This movie is OBSESSED with letting you know that it takes place in the 2000s. Britney Spears' 'Toxic' plays on the radio and the DJ is like "This song is going to be a HUGE hit!" Dakota parks her stolen taxi in front of a Dangerously In Love billboard. Dakota spends 120 seconds anxiously listening to a voicemail message on her ancient home phone to progress the plot.
Dakota Johnson falls into the river and gets hit in the eye with a firecracker (exploding Pepsi factory) and is blinded after she defeats the villain. The girls she's taking care of have to pull her out of the river and perform CPR on her. This exact sequence of events (minus the blinding) happens earlier in the movie.
Dakota Johnson then goes to the hospital. Nurse asks "Oh, is everyone here family?" Dakota Johnson says (with the sappiest smile ever, and with a ridiculous bandage covering her eyes) "Yes, they're mine" and "I have everything I need right here" (blegh)
Then the last five minutes of this movie are the most hilarious five minutes I've ever seen in cinema ever. Everyone in the theater was cackling. I was almost crying from laughter.
Dakota Johnson has the fugliest and most ridiculous pair of sunglasses I have ever seen in my life. There is also this ugly fucking SPIDERWEB WINDOW that apparently got added to her apartment that it is never explained how it got there. Also, SHE IS IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!! Girl is just blind!!!!!! WHY IS SHE IN A WHEELCHAIR????
Well the girls she's watching get back home. Then she does the slowest, funniest, most dramatic and comedic turn around in the wheelchair to face them I have ever seen. And the sunglasses just make it so much worse. By her smile alone you can tell she is finished with this movie and wants her paycheck so she can get the fuck out. Hilarious.
Absolutely the most incredible thing I have ever seen.
The bad guy gets killed by a big piece of product placement.
"... from Amazon Prime"
"DiDn'T yOu OrDeR tHaT yEsTeRdAY ?"
Take your sad, pathetically forced, ads and go shoe-horn them in somewhere else. There really is no escaping them now, is there ... ?
This isn't yet a final opinion.
After watching a few episodes, I feel that it doesn't pick up the threads of what happened in the 1st season at all. So far, I've only seen short cut mini-stories, so I have a feeling that the creators are just wasting our time with this season. It will be clear after 12 episodes whether my opinion changes, but I'm sure I'm a little disappointed. It's still entertaining, but the main story thread doesn't make any sense.
When your entire personality is based on being black and from Africa, but you get offended when someone refers to you in that way. No way of not offending those women at this point.
Edit: this comment was meant for episode 2
After two episodes, there are a few things I do not get about this new show. First, why do you bother making it, if you do exactly the same script like in the movie before? Second, why are the actors so young? I guess it's about making a new franchise for a target group which is basically this young. But this does not work for me on so many levels. I think the characters should at least be 16 years old. So that fight scenes actually look like fight scenes. And that you do not need a legal guardian for a quest to support them. And third, I am not sure that I actually buy the whole lightning story. Why is it, that the highest gods cannot comprehend who actually stole the lightning bolt? An alcoholic, a horse, a goat and a child got behind this in two minutes. So much about all seeing and all knowing gods.
so that lady expose that alien by shooting him in the leg without killing him.. but fury doesnt know he can do that ?
House need 3 things :
- Discretion (Every Skrulls know the address)
- Security (Everyone enter without any alarm and no bulletproof glass)
- Light (Lots of window go very well with the first 2)
Absolute banger of an episode. Holy cow.
So Liz has been one of the loud voices trying to get Q out and she was expecting him to choose her to get some food? :joy::joy: But I gotta say that watching her scream that Q blew all her plans over and over was good TV.
I was so afraid that Liz would throw this opportunity out just because she hates Q, it would be a terrible move on her part. I'm glad to see it all worked out. It is not that I want Q in the game, but it is always so good to watch a blindside go right.
A lower Sonic, a lower human sidekick, a lower villain, a lower story line.
It's like a direct to DVD Sonic Movies, and the Sonic franchise is not that strongh to begin with.
Not good, But it's watchable.
There is no other show that makes me laugh as hard as this one
As generic as they come.
Does every woman marvel show going to finish with a hug instead a fighting scene (she-hulk + echo).
Not sure if that prove that women can be heroes too.
The AI did it
Urgh
Most sophisticated bunker in the world with smash able glass and no system against a tiny fire (at first) to protect the servers for a multi million ai system. Alrighty then.
"Will Sam really give £100?"
Okay, wow, Marcus’ depression had already been incredibly realistic so far but this episode really hit it home.
It’s breaking my heart that Ginny doesn’t seem to notice or care what is going on with her boyfriend (who has supported her throughout all her mental health struggles), but I’m happy his sister is at least there for him <3
P.S. Can someone please explain to me why on earth Georgia just randomly killed Cynthia’s dying husband!???
I'm not a fan of how they turned the literature class into a question of race. I can see the problem (I am a white girl though, so naturally, I am unable to perceive it as she does), but on the other hand, she also skipped a lot of classes, so it makes sense that she would get some extracurricular work. All in all, to me, what she did in this scene seemed like an act of teenage angst rather than an act of defiance due to racial issues. If she wouldn't have skipped classes, then the message would have been more clear and powerful
This is not Goosebumps. Not even close to Goosebumps. It's a collection of stories that lean toward horror drama with a high school story arc. This doesn't feel like RL Stine and doesn't play out like a whimsical horror story. I'm gonna finish it because I've started it but if you came for the Goosebumps nostaligia, look, feel, and story telling, you will be disappointed.
Is this better than the original... I guess that depends on the generation you belong to, and how much of the original baggage you carry... I for one am not entirely sore that it has taken the direction it does, and am definitely not thinking it is bad... also don't mind the season arc, instead of it being an anthology.
That said, the character played by Justin Long hasn't gotten traction in the story... and that his face reminds me of "I'm a Mac" doesn't help to take him seriously... but at the time of this writing, we are only 5 episodes up, and the series is still largely open... Rachel Harris, as always, does justice to her role. Always liked her in drama roles... I definitely like the character development and the transition between the first 5 episodes.
What I don't understand is, why is this classified under the genre, 'Comedy'?
Had high hopes for the movie, but am very disappointed. The plot is weak and slow. The graphics are poor. The action sequences are mediocre.
It has Vin Dieael levels of fAMiLiA cringe.
Could've been something great but DC again squandered it.
Feels like Disney+ started great with Loki and gone downhill from there, and now making Netflix brainless crap.
At least we got Bold on Bold action out of this.
No Heroics meet Powerless.
As good as niether but overall Ok.
