The Lost Queens: Drag Till Dawn
Sassy, campy and so funny! It's everything you expect it to be but also everything you want it to be. The four queens slayed, love the characters, super entertaining and they deliver every one-liner. The supporting characters stick out too, found myself rooting for everyone. So many movie references, fitting needle drops, consistent tone and pacing, a little too long and such a shame they only used CGI. So much fun. I need more adventures with these characters.
An evil talking hat: "I will crush your world and eat your dimension."
What in the talking handkerchief, Givenchy skirtsuit, galactic supercluster did I just watch?? Hanky Panky brings you on a tour through the Museum of Oddities. This is extremely low budget and complete nonsense but the oddball characters and ridiculous plot makes this entertaining from beginning to end. Just when you think a character is "normal", they go ahead and do some crazy shit. I wish the one-liners and comedy were a little better but I still laughed a lot (both with it and at it). No efforts whatsoever with the filmmaking, you can even see the fishing wire attached to the handkerchief and hat, a bunch of collage, weird editing... it's all bad but it adds to the comedy at least. Almost, but not quite "so bad it's good". The final Mortal Kombat fight was INTENSE! Lindsey Haun (Rebecca) was hilarious and looked like she was having a blast filming the third act.
"Intermixing consciousness'es'es'es!"
A staple in the history of horror, I respect what it inspired, but thank god we got better at doing movies over the years. This didn't age well! I was bored throughout, no scares, no comedy, no drama, and it's like watching a stage play. Not my cup of tea. I do admire the black and white aesthetics and there's a tiny bit of fun whenever Frankenstein's doing some havoc, everything else is a bore. I can't even praise Frankenstein's makeup, it looked so cheap. So disappointed with the transformation scene, I was ready for a light show with the lightning but it was all hidden by a ceiling, a lifeless sequence.
Brutal. Simply brutal. What sets this one apart is the gory kills and the savagery in general especially with the villains, they're the worst kind: realistic. Absolutely haunting scenes of kids (and adults) being stabbed, burned and shot. Very strong allusions to rape in the second act. Everyone's violent and limbs are flying everywhere. The gore is effective and the action is filled with adrenaline. It's missing some better set pieces though, it's all just either forest or hutt or a mud pit. Terrible editing in some parts, why did they never fix it, it's so jarring. The story is as simple as simple can simplistically simply be; Rambo comes in, kills people, the end, applaude! My favorite of the franchise.
The poster gave off Mad Max meets Wolf Creek vibes so it piqued my interest. Turns out it kinda is that mix but all it did was make me want to watch those two. A crossbreed of action and horror but underwhelming in both categories. It's a fine-looking movie with 80's aesthetics and a natural outback setting. I like the night scenes with the blue lighting in the forest. A good score except in the last 30 minutes it became too intense and annoying for some reason. Too much rince repeat, the action sequences are generic and the kills are unsatisfying. Also, the animal cruelty is off the charts.
"We both have families. You want to protect yours. I want to protect mine. It's our only chance for peace."
Not as great as the first but still a good movie and follow up. I just think Rise had a better story, more complex characters and thought-provoking themes. Dawn is a bit more by the book and simple. There's more action and thrills though and the CGI looks even better, so much attention to detail and it's smooth. There's a fun score we only hear twice in the first half that elevates everything, a bit underused. The action set pieces are great and epic but nothing beats the red bridge in the first.
Not as emotionally poignant as Rise but we still get a few moments of greatness like the video camera scene, perfect nod to the first and a good reminder of what Caesar is fighting for. Caesar's arc is a bit underwhelming overall in this one compared to the first though, can't say he changed that much except for realizing apes are like humans. They could have added more to Maurice and Rocket. Koba has such a predictable character arc, foreseeable all the way in the first movie. I don't know why they made it so obvious from the get-go. In fact, a lot of this movie was predictable. The human sidekicks are forgettable and bland, they fit a steriotype and propel the plot but that's it.
The soap opera continues with episode two. My expectations were nonexistent going in but it still managed to disappoint. We're only at part 2 out of 6 and this whole franchise is already tired and stretched out. This is a bit worse that part 1 on every level. Cringe dialogue and acting, still an imitation of many franchises, the set pieces are nothing memorable and the action has no stake because the characters and story are flat as hell. Time to pull the plug on this shit show.
"Best job I ever had."
Not only is this a great action war film, but it's also a great character study and a terrifying look into the cruelty of war. Each Fury crew member brings something interesting and different in terms of character types and how they react/survive through the war. The most interesting character being Norman (Logan Lerman), a boy losing his innocence to tragedy, becoming a man while adapting to this new environment before having his humanity in peril—simply terrifying. The recruit angle was perfect for this movie. Brad Pitt is like a father figure to all the crew members and his character is also fascinating. Two stellar performances from both of them and captivating character interactions. Strong supporting cast as well.
The action set pieces are highly memorable and entertaining, they gave us everything they possibly could in that third act and it was so satisfying. Absolute chaos and fury! So much bravery displayed on-screen. I love the tank and what it represents, basically a cocoon/a comfort zone/a home amidst this war. The movie looks amazing in general. Great special effects and explosions. Never boring or overlong, the pacing was just right. Lots of emotions. Great ending.
"The surgeon general strongly advises taking Pepto Bismol before speaking with the dead."
I mean, it doesn't beat that episode where Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah's couch but it was still highly entertaining. First of all, new record for the number of company logos at the beginning. V/H/S meets The Twilight Zone meets whatever American talk show. Alluring set and old talk show aesthetics. It has this atmosphere/vibe about it that's creepy right off the bat. David Dastmalchian does a good job as the host, he drives this thing to the finish line. Ian Bliss was so entertaining as the buffoon of this talk show, nice addition. The creepy kid was unsettling and made me uneasy so congrats. The conversations and drama kept upping the tension and it was interesting throughout but also simplistic and scarce. The comedy was hit and miss, a lot of it was just awful but I laughed a couple times. Thank god for those gross practical effects, they looked great. The movie's at it's best when there's some over-the-top shit happening on-screen but the last 10 minutes got out of hand, they tried making it "complicated" but it just turned me off. Not a fan of the execution for that and how it leads to the ending.
Too weird, slow, boring, what the hell was happening, and the weird singing is a no from me dawg.
It takes 30 minutes before the bad guys show up and when they do it's 30 seconds of thrills and then it loses everything... villains lost their mojo and even with a 90 minute runtime it's a drag. No comedy or anything, just boring Insta girl drama. Lame characters, bad dialogue, cheesy acting, barely any kills and the thrills are short lived. The good stuff happens in the final 10 minutes.
–"I got the garlic."
–"Sammy, those are fucking onions."
Go in blind without seeing the trailer for this one. The trailer ruined the first and part of the second act for me, it's basically a whodunit mystery in a mansion with the characters being clueless and blaming each other. We've all seen the trailer! That first act is worthless. Why show us the twist it's so frustrating.
Abigail is Ready or Not but with a vampire twist, nothing original and not as good as Ready or Not but it's still a decent fun time. Perfect set, lots of blood, lots of action, and some laugh out loud moments. The tone is completely off though, it's campy most of the time but also tries to be a heartfelt drama at other times—those are polar opposites, it doesn't work! The vampire powers were so interesting, probably my favorite aspect of the movie.
Don't let the title fool you, this movie should be called "Dan Stevens" cause he steals the spotlight as he usually does. The moment when he says "I feel great" and everything after that was peak. As much as I enjoyed him, it's a shame that he steals the spotlight from Abigail (Alisha Weir) because this was supposed to be her movie. She's excellent in the role, always believable, so confident and actually scary. Kathryn Newton was absolutely killer in a certain scene. Melissa Barrera's best performance yet, I wasn't a fan of her acting in Scream VI but she was actually believable here.
As good as the cast is, it tries too hard with the characters. They're not that interesting and the execution for the character buildup could have been better handled. Constantly having to build up those characters in between action scenes slowed down the movie considerably when they should really be dying instead sinse this is a horror movie. It also had no right being this long, a good 20-30 minutes could be cut out. The last twist was laughable and overstayed it's welcome.
A silent live action cartoon in black and white. I didn't expect to like this as much as I did, i'm not even sure if i've ever watched a silent movie before but this was genius. Slapstick comedy at it's best! The comedy is a mix of lightheartedness and mildly disturbing, love the mix and the contrast. I think this will appeal to horror fans in a way (especially those last 20 minutes). I was somehow invested in the story and characters throughout the 2h runtime which is a great exploit for a silent film.
Everything is done on a low budget including the sets and costumes and effects but the look of everything is just perfect, it's charming and plays well with the comedy. All the drawings, little animations, puppets, collage, fast motion, and the visuals with the black and white are so creative. Very fitting musical choices. Great over-the-top physical acting. The whole movie was peak but my favorite parts were the scenes with the rabbits (so funny) and the whole third act was fun as hell I was glued to the screen.
So refreshing, I want more movies like this please!
This one makes me tired of the franchise. A copy of the previous movies with an absolute lack of originality. Bad writing... there's no story beyond "let's stop this enemy together" and "look at how macho we all are". It's pretty equal with Genisys as the worst entry in the franchise but maybe a little worse for me.
The characters look cool and act cool but I have no idea who any of them are. There's no chemistry between them until there finally is in the third act in an attempt to connect them through a flashback—late and convenient. They at least do something different with Arnold this time and his presence added to the movie. The villain was alright but I don't think he carried throughout the entire movie, his powers felt redundant in the third act and I wanted something new.
The special effects get worse and worse with every entry in terms of creativity, it's down to entirely CGI here which is sad. It looks alright for the most part but every once in a while it looks like a video game. The set pieces aren't the most memorable but I did enjoy the plane part, looked and felt like a sequence right out of a Fast & Furious movie... Furious 7 actually.
In a country where public restrooms are actually cleaned... lives a man with a mundane life but a big smile. This is basically a documentary about his everyday routine. Insert beautiful imagery and soundtrack. Barely any drama. A character study with not much development on the character. John Wick has more dialogue than this guy. The slow pacing, 2h runtime and rince repeat doesn't help either.
"For your information, everyone knows monsters prefer blondes."
The pinnacle of fun entertaining self-aware B-movie madness alongside Riki-Oh, Evil Dead II, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The VelociPastor... This one's overactive and energetic, the comedy is mostly ridiculously silly but at other times so dark and cruel it's a little traumatizing (first kill). I do wish more of the jokes landed but a good 80% of them do. Lots of funny one-liners but you can always use more in these movies. The voice of the Avenger gets me every time. The practical effects and makeup are worth a mention. The initial transformation scene, the "cooking with the Toxic Avenger" segment and the ninja guy are my favorite moments. Such a fun watch!
I went in blind, I thought this was a silly animated film about the titular character becoming friends with a talking flea or something but I was totally off... this is actually a heartbreaking real life documentary about the cruelty of war, a family being torn apart, human trafficking, refugees, and a lifetime of struggling with PTSD in a somewhat animated format. Those are terrifying themes but it felt like I was thrown into this sad story way too suddenly, this film demands you cry after 10 minutes into the movie and then every ten minutes after that until the very end. Not gonna happen without establishing the characters first or giving us a semblance of happiness before depression hits.
Another problem is the fact that this is animated, like why? It's ugly animation anyway! There's no depth to the faces of the animated characters, how am I supposed to connect with those faces and feel something? The sound and voices are recorded like a live action with echoes in the room and unfiltered sound which is really weird mixed with the animation. The voices don't match with the animated lips either. The inclusion of real life footage is jarring in contrast to the animation as well. A lot of the time I wished I could see the actual person telling this story behind the camera instead of the animation because the voices sound sincere.
Overall a harrowing real life story with great potencial on paper held back by it's own creative choices and visuals. Would be better as a podcast.
Bub: "I swear to God. If my brother hadn't hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would've killed me!"
Linda: "A blender?"
Bub: "Yeah, uh... a Hamilton Beach blender."
Nice one location setting in a supermarket at night and good atmosphere but it's a little boring and very generic even for a slasher. A tighter runtime would have helped this movie a great deal. The kills are mostly hit, some of them have cool practical effects (the meat cutter one was peak) while others are PG-13 and the camera cuts away. It does some cool visuals with mirrors, shadows, holes in walls and glass bottles in a few scenes that I thought were interesting and memorable. Good score that elevates everything. The final half hour is by far the best part, earns it an extra half star. Unsatisfying ending because of who survived.
Where was the Hamilton Beach blender kill??
"It's all true. God's an astronaut. Oz is over the rainbow, and Midian is where the monsters live."
An absolute tonal mess... but a fun tonal mess. This movie doesn't know what it wants to be, it's caught between a proper creepy horror movie whenever the therapist is on-screen, cheesy silly fantasy with the Midians, camp comedy whenever it pleases, and even explosive gun war action bonanza in the third act. Very entertaining and somewhat hyperactive at least but kinda confusing.
Lots of craft with the practical effects, makeup and costumes but not very realistic and cheap looking. Midian is a 50/50 mix of Mad God and Beetlejuice, those sequences were the best. The therapist was the star of the movie, the movie's a lot better when he's on-screen. Decent score but generic. Too long and stretched out by maybe 20 minutes. Cheesy ending. A decent movie overall but every aspect of this i've seen done better in other movies.
"I've never been so scared in my entire life and I've never felt more alive."
This is exactly what I imagined an A24 movie in a blockbuster format would be like, mixing art with adrenaline action. I think Civil War is a good first attempt but it's not perfect by any means. It strangely doesn't take any political stances and doesn't try to be controversial – which feels like playing it safe – but I believe the point of the movie was to reflect journalism: "document and let the viewer make an opinion" – an idea also built on playing it safe.
The themes of journalism are the core of this and what makes it original and interesting. I do think the theme (and story) felt recycled in the second half though, it kept doing the same tricks over and over. A feeling that could have been avoided with more editing to tighten the runtime or just more creative ideas. It got borderline boring between the second and third act also.
The action sequences and especially the third act are epic and loud, excellent sound and special effects it all looked so real. Lots of tension throughout and even though it lets go of that tension quite often, it knows how to build it back up. Some shocking moments of violence. I don't get much of the musical choices, they don't fit the mood and it's just awful music in my opinion.
Kristen Dunst and Cailee Spaeny did a great job but the award goes to Jesse Plemons who manages to steal the best scene of the movie. Not a fan of Nick Offerman in this one, he felt off in the few scenes he got. A lot of this movie made me think of The Walking Dead for some reason, the highway filled with cars, the roadtrip, the encounter of new survivors, even the characters.
"NOOOO!"
The 1968 original is hard to beat in many aspects (a technical masterpiece, stylish, rich thought-provoking themes, complex characters...) but this one's just better for me. As a reboot Rise of the Planet of the Apes feels familiar but also fresh—that's how you do a proper reboot! It might not be as technically adequate or stylish as the original but the themes are thought-provoking and the characters are certainly interesting.
Caesar makes this movie great, the journey and growth he goes through are so captivating. Basically a character study on a CGI ape that's somehow capable of making me cry. In the span of one movie, Caesar gets more character development than both Kong and Godzilla in their whole universe.
The theme of fatherhood/parenthood is strong here, from Will with his father Charles, to Caesar with Will, to even Caesar being a strong figure to the other apes. The Alzheimer storyline with Charles was a nice touching addition. Tom Felton was perfectly cast here, he was hateable all the way.
The CGI isn't perfect, there's scenes once in a while that aren't as fluid as the rest but it absolutely does the job overall. Great third act with epic action and memorable set pieces (I remembered them after all those years). Very cheap how they conveniently added some gorillas and orangatangs in the third act, they just pop out of nowhere.
♫ "Grab your balls, we're going bowling. Grab your balls everyone." ♫
Nice gross practical effects in the opening scene. The setup isn't too long and the fun starts pretty early. 70 minutes is perfect. Good use of the bowling set and theme, I like the bowling mascot and the bowling related kills. Lots of blood and brutal kills. The father/daughter dynamic is the heart of the movie. As soon as the killer took his mask off and started talking is when it lost a good portion of it's magic. Not a bad idea as a concept but the execution isn't good. A weird way to end it, convenient for the story but not satisfying.
"If a man wishes to challenge the gods, he must become more than a man. He must become a beast."
A commendable directional debut for Dev Patel, I can see the potencial, but Monkey Man is short of "good". It's very much an Indian version of John Wick with a strong inspiration from The Raid movies. Some intense action sequences that deserve praise but I expected a little more considering the aforementioned inspirations. It's short of a few more action sequences for me and the second act was so boring it slowed this down to the point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore. It killed all the tension established in the first act. Thankfully it picked back up in the third act but because the second act was so slow I expected an even bigger payoff in the third act which it didn't quite deliver but... almost.
I applaude the attempt at character development, it's a rare thing in these movies, but I think it should have been more sprinkled throughout the runtime instead of an entire second act. The folklore/cultural stuff was a nice touch but there's too much of it. Too much shaky cam during some fight scenes, it's hard to look at and follow everything that's going on. Very stylish movie all around, memorable visuals, love the neon lighting with the mirrors, intense editing (perhaps too intense) and I digged the musical choices BUT an overdose of that drum instrument. Overall Monkey Man was a decent watch but it's mainly held back by the second act.
Seeing Immaculate right after The First Omen did not do this movie any good, in comparison this is B-movie level with a comedic undertone (intentional or not?). It's not necessarily a negative but I laughed throughout this movie, could not take it seriously and it's in part due to seeing Sydney Sweeney dressed as a nun—I mean come on that's got to be a joke. It felt to me like Sydney was playing it slightly as a comedy too, everything from the dialogue to the facial expressions she's making. To that point, i'm mixed on her performance.
The story is very straightforward and so are the themes, I wish they were a bit more complicated and layered. Nice body horror and lots of blood but the scares are cheap (loud noises). The cinematography is good but again, I saw The First Omen right before and Immaculate is just a lesser version on that level too. There's still some interesting visuals like when Sydney's dressed in blue in that beautiful costume and a few horrifying pregnancy visuals. Boring and slow in some parts. The ending is the strongest part of the movie but it sorta ended right when it finally got interesting.
A remake in prequel clothing. It's labelled as a prequel to The Omen but for most of the movie I was questionning that because it plays itself as a remake (until the ending). Now here's a hot take: I enjoyed this a little more than the original. The focus on the father instead of the antichrist in the original was such a turn-off but The First Omen doesn't replicate that mistake which is a big part of why I enjoyed this more. One thing it does replicate though is that it's too long and a little too slow in parts.
I watched this and Immaculate as a double feature and it made me appreciate The First Omen even more, the difference in quality is flagrant and this is the better movie on every level. Nell Tiger Free obliterates Sydney Sweeney out of the park, she was born for this type of role, she's so captivating and every emotion was believable—an amazing performance! The scene where she's screaming like she's in Possession was so intense I stopped breathing. Her character has layers too, I appreciated the night life story arc.
I'm so disappointed they recycled some of the kills from the original, they were done masterfully here but why replicate them if not to make them better? They're not! One thing they're missing is the over-the-top score to accompany them. Still, they're grotesque and bloody, the birthing scenes were hard to watch and memorable.
Great cinematography all around, beautiful imagery, nice editing, beautiful costumes, killer atmosphere, good tension, not that many cheap jumpscares, creepy but not that scary. The twist was so damn obvious but it plays it as a seriously dramatic event so that was a total miss but it serves the story right. The ending is also predictable, it's everything I thought it was going to be going into the movie. What ultimately brings this movie down is the need to tie it to the original trilogy, I think it would have been better off as an original spin-off.
Petition to put Nell Tiger Free in every horror movie!
Scavenger hunt list:
✓ A Child's Play ripoff
✓ A parody of Insidious
✓ An angry Ted
✓ A bowl of tired horror tropes
✓ Jumpscares that couldn't even scare a kid
✓ Cheesy acting and dialogue
✓ A decent first twist
✓ Mildly interesting stepmother/stepdaughter storyline
✓ A well-placed The Walking Dead allusion for Tom Payne
✓ A ridiculous, laughable and overlong third act that doesn't work because it takes itself too seriously
✓ Lives up to the Blumhouse name nowadays
(Grindhouse Edition)
Been meaning to watch this for years but couldn't find a copy, turns out it was on the MovieArk free app all along. Also turns out it's hidden for a reason...
No idea what the difference is between the Grindhouse Edition and the standard edition but this was very grindhouse indeed and campy as hell. Some of the worst editing and special effects i've ever seen. The dialogue makes my ears bleed and it isn't even funny one-liners, it's just awful. Everything about this is awful apart from some musical choices (synth and creepy kids music exclusively) and the bunny costume + chainsaw are a good creepy mix. The kills aren't the worst but the way it's edited scraps everything. No idea why they added commercial blocks, it has nothing to do with the story.
"We're gonna need a lot of therapy."
"A good cop can't sleep because a piece of the puzzle is missing. And a bad cop can't sleep because his conscience won't let him."
A decent little crime mystery thriller but a major downgrade from Christopher Nolan sinse this is the movie he did right after the mind blowing masterpiece Memento. Quite the different kind of role for Robin Williams as the bad guy but he nailed it, his scenes with Al Pacino are so tense. Al Pacino is the real star though as the no bullshit detective going through PTSD-ish psychological turmoil, I found his character to be interesting from beginning to end.
The mystery is alright, not the best but it keeps this thing going in the first half. It turns into something else after that mystery and that's what's really interesting and what sets this movie apart from other crime thrillers. I still wanted it to go further into the psychological aspect with the main character, he had enough on his plate to go crazy but it never fully gets there unfortunately. A few thrilling chase sequences like the fog and floating logs one but I wanted a little more because it got slow in some parts. Nice filming location. Nothing too special on a cinematography level.
Fur and blood is on the menu as killer Jackalopes (bunny deer) attack a town on Easter. I didn't even know Jackalopes were a thing in folklore but it's questionnable, why would a bunny and a deer...
The two minutes of screentime where we see the little bunny puppets with red eyes is when the magic happens, loved those. The rest of the time it's someone wearing a bunny suit. The characters are kinda entertaining and there's some decent one-liners but it really needed more kills and bunny time. The kills we got were very generic and a mix of CGI and practical effects.
Very festive, there's more Easter callouts and decorations than your usual Easter slasher... even people singing Easter songs like The Bunny Hop dance which is probably the most memorable thing about this movie.
"Happy Easter, bitch!"