Acoucalancha
VIP
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981 followers

Québec, Canada
30

Slay

The Lost Queens: Drag Till Dawn

Sassy, campy and so funny! It's everything you expect it to be but also everything you want it to be. The four queens slayed, love the characters, super entertaining and they deliver every one-liner. The supporting characters stick out too, found myself rooting for everyone. So many movie references, fitting needle drops, consistent tone and pacing, a little too long and such a shame they only used CGI. So much fun. I need more adventures with these characters.

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Hanky Panky

An evil talking hat: "I will crush your world and eat your dimension."

What in the talking handkerchief, Givenchy skirtsuit, galactic supercluster did I just watch?? Hanky Panky brings you on a tour through the Museum of Oddities. This is extremely low budget and complete nonsense but the oddball characters and ridiculous plot makes this entertaining from beginning to end. Just when you think a character is "normal", they go ahead and do some crazy shit. I wish the one-liners and comedy were a little better but I still laughed a lot (both with it and at it). No efforts whatsoever with the filmmaking, you can even see the fishing wire attached to the handkerchief and hat, a bunch of collage, weird editing... it's all bad but it adds to the comedy at least. Almost, but not quite "so bad it's good". The final Mortal Kombat fight was INTENSE! Lindsey Haun (Rebecca) was hilarious and looked like she was having a blast filming the third act.

"Intermixing consciousness'es'es'es!"

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Frankenstein

A staple in the history of horror, I respect what it inspired, but thank god we got better at doing movies over the years. This didn't age well! I was bored throughout, no scares, no comedy, no drama, and it's like watching a stage play. Not my cup of tea. I do admire the black and white aesthetics and there's a tiny bit of fun whenever Frankenstein's doing some havoc, everything else is a bore. I can't even praise Frankenstein's makeup, it looked so cheap. So disappointed with the transformation scene, I was ready for a light show with the lightning but it was all hidden by a ceiling, a lifeless sequence.

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Rambo

Brutal. Simply brutal. What sets this one apart is the gory kills and the savagery in general especially with the villains, they're the worst kind: realistic. Absolutely haunting scenes of kids (and adults) being stabbed, burned and shot. Very strong allusions to rape in the second act. Everyone's violent and limbs are flying everywhere. The gore is effective and the action is filled with adrenaline. It's missing some better set pieces though, it's all just either forest or hutt or a mud pit. Terrible editing in some parts, why did they never fix it, it's so jarring. The story is as simple as simple can simplistically simply be; Rambo comes in, kills people, the end, applaude! My favorite of the franchise.

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Fair Game

The poster gave off Mad Max meets Wolf Creek vibes so it piqued my interest. Turns out it kinda is that mix but all it did was make me want to watch those two. A crossbreed of action and horror but underwhelming in both categories. It's a fine-looking movie with 80's aesthetics and a natural outback setting. I like the night scenes with the blue lighting in the forest. A good score except in the last 30 minutes it became too intense and annoying for some reason. Too much rince repeat, the action sequences are generic and the kills are unsatisfying. Also, the animal cruelty is off the charts.

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Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver

The soap opera continues with episode two. My expectations were nonexistent going in but it still managed to disappoint. We're only at part 2 out of 6 and this whole franchise is already tired and stretched out. This is a bit worse that part 1 on every level. Cringe dialogue and acting, still an imitation of many franchises, the set pieces are nothing memorable and the action has no stake because the characters and story are flat as hell. Time to pull the plug on this shit show.

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Fury
Late Night with the Devil
All You Need Is Death

Too weird, slow, boring, what the hell was happening, and the weird singing is a no from me dawg.

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Model House

It takes 30 minutes before the bad guys show up and when they do it's 30 seconds of thrills and then it loses everything... villains lost their mojo and even with a 90 minute runtime it's a drag. No comedy or anything, just boring Insta girl drama. Lame characters, bad dialogue, cheesy acting, barely any kills and the thrills are short lived. The good stuff happens in the final 10 minutes.

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Abigail
Hundreds of Beavers

A silent live action cartoon in black and white. I didn't expect to like this as much as I did, i'm not even sure if i've ever watched a silent movie before but this was genius. Slapstick comedy at it's best! The comedy is a mix of lightheartedness and mildly disturbing, love the mix and the contrast. I think this will appeal to horror fans in a way (especially those last 20 minutes). I was somehow invested in the story and characters throughout the 2h runtime which is a great exploit for a silent film.

Everything is done on a low budget including the sets and costumes and effects but the look of everything is just perfect, it's charming and plays well with the comedy. All the drawings, little animations, puppets, collage, fast motion, and the visuals with the black and white are so creative. Very fitting musical choices. Great over-the-top physical acting. The whole movie was peak but my favorite parts were the scenes with the rabbits (so funny) and the whole third act was fun as hell I was glued to the screen.

So refreshing, I want more movies like this please!

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Terminator: Dark Fate
Perfect Days

In a country where public restrooms are actually cleaned... lives a man with a mundane life but a big smile. This is basically a documentary about his everyday routine. Insert beautiful imagery and soundtrack. Barely any drama. A character study with not much development on the character. John Wick has more dialogue than this guy. The slow pacing, 2h runtime and rince repeat doesn't help either.

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The Toxic Avenger

"For your information, everyone knows monsters prefer blondes."

The pinnacle of fun entertaining self-aware B-movie madness alongside Riki-Oh, Evil Dead II, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The VelociPastor... This one's overactive and energetic, the comedy is mostly ridiculously silly but at other times so dark and cruel it's a little traumatizing (first kill). I do wish more of the jokes landed but a good 80% of them do. Lots of funny one-liners but you can always use more in these movies. The voice of the Avenger gets me every time. The practical effects and makeup are worth a mention. The initial transformation scene, the "cooking with the Toxic Avenger" segment and the ninja guy are my favorite moments. Such a fun watch!

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Flee
Intruder

Bub: "I swear to God. If my brother hadn't hit him in the head repeatedly with a blender, he would've killed me!"
Linda: "A blender?"
Bub: "Yeah, uh... a Hamilton Beach blender."

Nice one location setting in a supermarket at night and good atmosphere but it's a little boring and very generic even for a slasher. A tighter runtime would have helped this movie a great deal. The kills are mostly hit, some of them have cool practical effects (the meat cutter one was peak) while others are PG-13 and the camera cuts away. It does some cool visuals with mirrors, shadows, holes in walls and glass bottles in a few scenes that I thought were interesting and memorable. Good score that elevates everything. The final half hour is by far the best part, earns it an extra half star. Unsatisfying ending because of who survived.

Where was the Hamilton Beach blender kill??

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Nightbreed

"It's all true. God's an astronaut. Oz is over the rainbow, and Midian is where the monsters live."

An absolute tonal mess... but a fun tonal mess. This movie doesn't know what it wants to be, it's caught between a proper creepy horror movie whenever the therapist is on-screen, cheesy silly fantasy with the Midians, camp comedy whenever it pleases, and even explosive gun war action bonanza in the third act. Very entertaining and somewhat hyperactive at least but kinda confusing.

Lots of craft with the practical effects, makeup and costumes but not very realistic and cheap looking. Midian is a 50/50 mix of Mad God and Beetlejuice, those sequences were the best. The therapist was the star of the movie, the movie's a lot better when he's on-screen. Decent score but generic. Too long and stretched out by maybe 20 minutes. Cheesy ending. A decent movie overall but every aspect of this i've seen done better in other movies.

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Civil War
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Last Night at Terrace Lanes
5

Shout by Acoucalancha
VIP
4
BlockedParent2024-04-07T20:02:07Z— updated 2024-04-11T01:12:29Z

"Grab your balls, we're going bowling. Grab your balls everyone."

Nice gross practical effects in the opening scene. The setup isn't too long and the fun starts pretty early. 70 minutes is perfect. Good use of the bowling set and theme, I like the bowling mascot and the bowling related kills. Lots of blood and brutal kills. The father/daughter dynamic is the heart of the movie. As soon as the killer took his mask off and started talking is when it lost a good portion of it's magic. Not a bad idea as a concept but the execution isn't good. A weird way to end it, convenient for the story but not satisfying.

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Monkey Man
Immaculate
The First Omen
Imaginary

Scavenger hunt list:

✓ A Child's Play ripoff
✓ A parody of Insidious
✓ An angry Ted
✓ A bowl of tired horror tropes
✓ Jumpscares that couldn't even scare a kid
✓ Cheesy acting and dialogue
✓ A decent first twist
✓ Mildly interesting stepmother/stepdaughter storyline
✓ A well-placed The Walking Dead allusion for Tom Payne
✓ A ridiculous, laughable and overlong third act that doesn't work because it takes itself too seriously
✓ Lives up to the Blumhouse name nowadays

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Bunnyman

(Grindhouse Edition)

Been meaning to watch this for years but couldn't find a copy, turns out it was on the MovieArk free app all along. Also turns out it's hidden for a reason...

No idea what the difference is between the Grindhouse Edition and the standard edition but this was very grindhouse indeed and campy as hell. Some of the worst editing and special effects i've ever seen. The dialogue makes my ears bleed and it isn't even funny one-liners, it's just awful. Everything about this is awful apart from some musical choices (synth and creepy kids music exclusively) and the bunny costume + chainsaw are a good creepy mix. The kills aren't the worst but the way it's edited scraps everything. No idea why they added commercial blocks, it has nothing to do with the story.

"We're gonna need a lot of therapy."

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Insomnia
Easter Bloody Easter

Fur and blood is on the menu as killer Jackalopes (bunny deer) attack a town on Easter. I didn't even know Jackalopes were a thing in folklore but it's questionnable, why would a bunny and a deer...

The two minutes of screentime where we see the little bunny puppets with red eyes is when the magic happens, loved those. The rest of the time it's someone wearing a bunny suit. The characters are kinda entertaining and there's some decent one-liners but it really needed more kills and bunny time. The kills we got were very generic and a mix of CGI and practical effects.

Very festive, there's more Easter callouts and decorations than your usual Easter slasher... even people singing Easter songs like The Bunny Hop dance which is probably the most memorable thing about this movie.

"Happy Easter, bitch!"

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