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People once believed that when a remake is shit, a crow carries its soul to the land of the dead. But sometimes, a remake so bad happens that a terrible pointlessness is carried with it and it shouldn’t be watched. Then sometimes, just sometimes, the crow will bring the original movie back to put everything wrong with this remake, right.
Just watch the original and forget this has ever been made… It can’t rain all the time.
This should have been The Crow 5 instead of a remake of the Eric & Shelley story as it lacks everything which made the original a favourite. The first half of the movie only seemed to focus on a relationship which couldn't have been more than a few weeks old, the big bad was never a threat, his minions were nothing more than cannon fodder and there was no grounding character to give the protagonist a connection to the mortal world. I still love to listen to the soundtracks of the previous 4 movies frequently, yet the music in this felt irrelevant & unconnected. Each movie in this series has been worse than its predecessor & this one should rightfully take it's place behind Wicked Prayer. It's a generous 3/10 for me.
40 minutes to establish a half-assed love story. 70 minutes until The Crow actually starts crowing. One John Wick fight scene later and credits roll.
Such a mess. I can't believe it.
I'm currently writing this while still in the movie theatre. I never reach for my phone when i am at the movies.
FKA Twigs was unbearable. I never wanna see her face or hear her voice ever again.
Wtf was that insta love thing? They literally said 'Hi' and then they were soooo in love with eachother. Get out of here!
The dialogue was as deep as the writing of a 15 year old emo girl from 2005. Trust me, i was a 15 y.o. emo girl in 2005 who would write "deep" shit like that.
The whole thing with the video was so illogical. She was looking at the camera but then she asks her friend who took that video:eyes: Then Zadie sent it to her but by the middle of the movie they said that Shelly had the video on her phone like it was there from the beginning... But they all saw her killing that other girl and now her friends are trying to protect her? I mean... i couldn't keep up with this plotline, seriously.
The editing was a bit messy too.
What was the point of the piano player? Take her out of the movie and nothing would change.
The diamond tattoo on Eric's face was all over the place. At times it was right below his lower eyelash, at other times it was on his cheekbone.
And wtf was that ending? Did they turn back time? If they did, then all the bad guys would be alive, right? Because why would they both die? Did they overdose? I just don't see the logic.
The ONLY interesting thing in this movie was shirtless Bill Skarsgard. Thank god we had plenty of this, otherwise i would have fallen asleep.
1 star for the aesthetics.
1 star because Bill's hot.
1 star because im generous.
That equals 3 stars from me.
Thank you for your attention!
Jesus, what a boring ass movie. About half way thru I decided I didn't care about the ending of this movie yet i was stuck in the theater with three other people. Dumb plot, dumb story, this movie should have never been made. Not one call back to the original. The original had a much better storyline. And what was with the weird awkward love shit between Kate and Tyler.
Do yourself a favor and don't watch this, even when you can for free, don't watch this.
"Dinosaurus!" had been on my watchlist for probably more than a decade. As a fan of monster and kaiju movies, this was one of the outliers that had snuck by me. The delay to watch it can be attributed to my knowing exactly what it would be. As expected, this is a super cheesy and overcooked story. It's about a couple of dinosaurs found by Bart, Chuck, and Dumpy during a construction project on a tropical island. This is the type of movie that would be almost impossible for most current-day viewers to sit through. It's such a product of it's time. There's the handsome, rugged duo of Bart and Chuck, the smart and spunky but still vulnerable Betty, and Julio, the little boy with a heart of gold, abused by his evil stepfather. The melodrama is laid on thick. This is seriously one of the corniest movies I've ever watched. Oh, and there's also a caveman who starts out as comedic relief but almost reaches superhero status. Bart ends up saving the day as he battles a Tyrannosaurus to the death by piloting a steam shovel. Think Ripley in "Aliens" minus the suspense.
There's moments when the filmmakers tried to add humor, like when the caveman looks for food in a modern home or O'Leary's drunken shenanigans. Most of the laughs come unintentionally, though. For example, the caveman rescues damsel in distress (Betty) from certain death by slamming an axe into the foot of the T-Rex. As she falls from its claws, the caveman catches her and then brings her to his cave (naturally) and proceeds to make her roast him a critter over a fire. Even the caveman knows Betty belongs in the kitchen! There were also a lot of snickers to be had watching the set extras, acting as islanders, reacting to Bart's feats of derring-do.
But this movie's draw is supposed to be the dinosaurs and they were pretty much what you'd expect, a combination of stop-motion and puppetry. The stop-motion was passable and it's just such an endearing way to bring creatures to life. It's not as well done as most other movies like this but it's still fun. The use of puppets was surprisingly above average and brought a little personality to the dinosaurs, though the miniatures were subpar even for 1960. Still, if you are fond of the special effects of 60+ years ago, you will enjoy them. On a personal nerdy note, the noise made by the Ichthyosaurus of The Outer Limits Season One episode "Tourist Attraction" (1963) sounds like it was borrowed from the roar of the T-Rex in this movie.
Overall, "Dinosaurus!" is the same as most other Sci-Fi movies of its time. It's full of forced, cornball melodrama, made more tolerable by its irresistible effects work.
So disappointing. My expectations were already rock bottom. Bad acting, bad dialogue, predictable story, boring characters. Some of the costumes looked like comic con outfits. Couldn't even get the Neimoidian voices right. It genuinely felt like I was watching a Doctor Who episode at some points (and not a good one). Star Wars is officially dead and Disney killed it.
More garbage from Zaddy, this is a modern blueprint for what not to do when you’re making operatic sci-fi/fantasy. You could point at the obvious issues, such as the worldbuilding and story ripping off every other property in existence without putting much of its own spin on it (Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dune, Harry Potter, Mad Max, Excalibur, Seven Samurai, The Matrix to only name a few), but that doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what’s wrong here. Snyder’s often praised for being this great visual stylist, but with Rebel Moon he might just deliver his most poorly directed film. Multiple shots are out of focus, the score is really manipulative and overblown, the staging of the action feels amateurish, there’s often a lack of proper depth of field (it kinda feels like those Star Wars shows on D+ due to the poor use of the volume stages) and he’s generally wanking off way too much with all the slo-mo here. Moreover, this has one of the worst scripts of the year due to all of the cheesy, overwitten dialogue and ridiculous amounts of exposition. It’s very hard to find a scene in this where the presentation and writing are somewhat organic or manage to create meaning in a way that feels artistically instinctual. Instead, it’s this lifeless mismatch of stale ideas. Add to that the fact that Snyder doesn’t know how to emphasize the strengths of the limited performers he’s working with here (besides Hounsou and Hopkins, who can handle themselves regardless of the director), and you can only conclude that Disney made the right decision by rejecting this.
1.5/10
Definitely watched this for the cast, and the backwater space junker setting is always fun for a scifi horror flick.
It's such a shlocky mess, but it's decent B-movie fun. Camerawork is kinda interesting a few times, and the set design of the hallways is decent for the setting. Acting was ok, and looks like they had a bit of fun with it. It probably could have done a bit better if the dialogue they were working with wasn't so horrible at times, and if the plot was not just thrown together, and it didn't have unfulfilling cliches. Really wasted the vampire lore bits/characters, but they tried to cram the ideas in at least.
Heads up, there's a touching post-credits scene.
Impressive! I had no real expectations going in and what a pleasant surprise. This film takes you for a relentlessly stressful ride and the fact that it's shot in single take makes me appreciate it a lot more. It flows so seamlessly from moment to moment and gives you so many different emotions in such a short period of time. The way it bounces between characters is brilliant and each character feels so real and believable.
more 'Groan Chick' than 'John Wick'.
Great cast & line-up squandered on a very mediocre script, with attempts to sell "woke feminism" - I kid you not, no less than 3 mentions - than actually letting female protagonists be more than Snyder-type shallow caricatures.
Each of these women have played strong, independent female characters with agency in the past, so we know they're competent & capable, but I don't know wtf happened here.
Wick has a certain rhythm, pace & style - that this is an obvious cargo-cult copy of.
(that "something" Birds of Prey & the last Ghostbusters found, but Oceans' missed too)
Had so hoped this would've been something more than sad tropes with misplaced filler.
Think I'll go watch Atomic Blonde as a palette-cleanser.
I saw a lot of comparisons to John Wick but this doesn't come close to that or even Nobody, but it did give me a few chuckles that probably weren't intended so there's that lol.
all women are good, all men are evil scumbags. whats more generic 2021 WOKE movie than that. its very very predictable from start to finish. you could easily even predict the lines the actresses would say before they do.
Didn’t like it much. Watch a John Wick or Nobody instead
Some of you have never seen Kill Bill and it shows!
This was a poor attempt at a Kill Bill movie. The score being the worst part
I couldn’t finish the first 20 minutes of it. That’s how bad Gunpowder Milkshake is. I feel horribly embarrassed for the people who made it. How did it pull in so many big names? I usually avoid the content that Netflix produces since they’re rarely any good, but I thought this movie might have some promise. Damn, was I wrong. The fact that people will be tricked into thinking this is halfway decent because of all the pretty faces and Netflix ‘feminism’ makes me feel physically ill.
This is just John Wick if you gender swapped it. Movies like Nobody (2021), Tenet, are for American men to have some material to masturbate to Americans killing Russians because their dog died. Totally normal male behavior. But Gunpowder Milkshake is for the American ladies, the liberal ‘feminists’ that love the depthless theme "women great, men bad", which is reductive and gets us nowhere but apparently it’s progressive. This one is for you, babes, enjoy!
Literally the line: "Gender equality. Very progressive. A feminist." They legit call the main character a smart, strong and independent woman unironically. Can you go more corny than that? It's a movie where all the women can do no wrong, are intelligent and also super human. You never feel like the main character is in danger cause none of the cartoonish men can even come close to her abilities. Honestly, the men in this film are dumb to a point where it's like the guys from Home Alone. Hollywood script writers FINALLY need to learn you can have awesome female character without having to make all of the male characters braindead idiots. Also, they need to stop this trope where skinny women fight and overpower multiple men who are 3 times their own body weight.
There are lots of “jokes” in this movie that are not funny at all but I LOLed at the casting - 47-year-old Lena Headey being the mother of 33-year-old Karen Gillan haha. So funny. Karen Gillan simply doesn't have the presence to pull this role off, I didn't believe she was a badass assassin just because she looks mean. I hope I will never ever have to hear her American accent again, it sound like she’s swallowing the middle of every word. Why hire so many British actors if you’re going to make them use American accents? They sound horrible. American liberal feminists love the intersectional feminist cast - this movie feature blatant racial tokenism with the black woman being angry, and the Asian woman who is a mystical martial-arts expert, of course.
The whole “female empowerment” trope is painfully undeveloped and just thrown in the most shallow, generic way. All style, no substance. Weak story (that's barely a 20 minute short story), some of the most poorly written characters I’ve ever seen, and a bunch of dead-eyed performances from some famous actresses.
Great cast with cliche cheesy boring plot. Expected so much more after watching the trailer. Mostly style over substance. Could have been funnier. Huge opportunity missed! :disappointed_relieved:
Girl power! Or something, I guess.
Surprised by the high rating. Barely mediocre. Subpar writing. Lame characters. Unsatisfactory & unbelievable combat. Definitely a “straight to video” release from a nobody director. Horrible soundtrack, doesn’t fit the scenes at all
Never once veers from 100% predictability.
The script is so juvenile not even actors way above class for this kind of movie can deliver lines convincingly and the jokes mostly just fall completely flat.
Everybody in Hollywood steals and borrows but in this you can point out the exact feature the scenes are from, it's like they just used cut and paste of the exact same storyboard.
It's not influenced by or an homage to, it's just plagiarism to the point of it being completely ridiculous.
If you intend to watch this, set your expectations really, really low.
Like lego toilet paper, Old is pretty clunky and rubbed me all the wrong ways.
From the point of view of someone who probably likes M. Night Shyamalan a tad more than most people, I find Old to be one of his weakest efforts.
The predictable script (surprisingly so, for Shyamalan) relies too heavily on the graphic novel (I really, really hope having characters state their names and jobs outright wasn't a device he thought of himself), looks cheap and, tbh, is poorly directed. Shyamalan's stubborn refusal to show us any of the action (try too hard for a PG-13 much?) ends up being more annoying than intriguing.
This combined with some dubious acting in lead roles (not Thomasin McKenzie, Alex Wolff, Abby Lee Kershaw, or Rufus Sewell who all turn in strong performances) make Old weak, fragile, and tired.
I am disappointed in this movie. I loved the first Wonder Woman movie but with this one they totally broke the plot just to bring back her lover. No-sense plot and story, they could have made a movie a thousand times better with this superhero.
Terrible, which is very disappointing given how impressive the original is.
Michael J. Fox's departure as Milo immediately lowers the expectancy of the film, as does the instant sign of the animation being inferior. The plot starts off mildly interesting, even if it does feel like a 'What's New, Scooby-Doo?' story, but quickly loses it with two poor plots.
It is one rounded off premise, though it's practically still that annoying multiple stories rolled into one thing that Disney so often do for sequels. The film takes place, almost entirely, away from Atlantis which is utterly pointless. I had expected we'd see more of the world we left in the 2001 production, sadly they immediately revert back to the 'real world' which is massively less intriguing.
None of the voice cast or the characters themselves are memorable, they force a new one called Obby, a lavadog, into the mix which doesn't work whatsoever; he is just used to advance the plot at one particular point.
As you can tell, I didn't like 'Atlantis: Milo’s Return' at all. Everything from the animation to the pacing is just so bad, in my opinion of course.
Hilariously bad, I don't know exactly what it is about Christianity, but for some reason, it seems it's just impossible for them to make a good movie. The odd film (like this one) that does something well (comedy) it happens purely by accident and really isn't meant to be there, I mean if they actually wanted this to be funny, there wouldn't be any humour at all, but as they don't, it's a total laugh riot.
Pleasantly surprised by this one. Despite the low reviews scores, it is actually pretty good. The setup is creepy, the body horror is suitably icky, and the narrative holds the attention. Watch it, and let it be another reason why you shouldn't visit the beach in 2020.
durr hburr
technology is bad
fire is scary
and thomas edison was a witch
Imagine a time travel movie where nothing happens.
Now you don't need to watch this. You're welcome.
