Penguin One, Us Zero (2014)
Lucy Warburton: Jesus, I never should have told you to watch the fucking 'Wire.'
Laurie Moves Out (1999)
Michael Kelso: I'm havin' a horrible day. Laurie's gone, and Jackie's all suspicious of me. And I'm gettin' no lovin'. None. I can't be me without lovin'.
Red's Birthday (1999)
[to Bob and Midge]
Reginald "Red" Forman: So, you two are going to save your marriage by dating strangers. Great.
Midge Pinciotti: When you say it like that, Red, it sounds stupid.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Okay, Midge, say it so it doesn't sound stupid.
Eric Gets Suspended (1999)
Hyde: Forman's first suspension. I'm so proud.
Michael Kelso: Whoa, back up. Why'd he get suspended?
Donna Pinciotti: Because he's stupid.
Michael Kelso: [terrified] They can do that?
Sleepover (1999)
Steven Hyde: So, what do I do here, anyway?
Leo: Well, I don't expect a lot, man. Like, pretty much, if the hut doesn't burn down, it's been a good day. And even if it burnt down, man, it's cool, 'cause I got three or four more of these little huts somewhere.
I Love Cake (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: I love you, Eric.
Eric Forman: [looks shocked] I love... cake.
Vanstock (1999)
Rod Roddy: Will Red get a job? Will Jackie ever find out about Kelso and Laurie? Will we ever find out where Fez is from? Will Hyde ever find his topless Cinderella? And whatever happened to Midge's daughter, Tina? Will Eric and Donna ever consummate their illicit teenage love? And what about Chuck and Bob? Oh, wait. They're not on this show. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of "That '70s Show"!
Halloween (1999)
[Fez is dressed up as Batman, for Halloween]
Jackie Burkhart: Donna, you know who protected me back there? Fez.
Donna Pinciotti: He had to. He's Batman.
Laurie and the Professor (1999)
Steven Hyde: [irritatedly, as Laurie appears to win a round] This is completely unsatisfactory! In fact...
[points at Eric]
Steven Hyde: YOU SUCK!
The Velvet Rope (1999)
[on the way to the club in Chicago]
Fez: People are so friendly around here. Two women on the corner just offered to have sex with me.
Steven Hyde: Yeah, for money, Fez.
Fez: I could not ask them for money.
[pauses]
Fez: Or, could I?
Red's Last Day (1999)
Michael Kelso: [as Laurie sits astride his lap] Laurie, I don't think you should be sitting on me. I don't think Jackie would like it.
Laurie Forman: I think you like me sitting on you, Michael. In fact, I know you do!
Garage Sale (1999)
Kitty Forman: [about Hyde's brownies] Well, I know Steven put the special ingredient in.
Eric: I told him not to!
Hyde: [At the same time] Special ingredient?
Kitty Forman: Of course! Love!
Hyde: Yes, ma'am, Mrs. Forman. There's a whole big bag of love in here.
The Good Son (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: So, my parents are, like, fighting all the time, and they want me to choose sides. But I can't, because they're both idiots.
Hyde Moves In (1999)
Red Forman: [Red is worried Kitty may be exceeding their limited finances] Pork chops? I thought we agreed to stick to a budget. Pork chops aren't cheap.
Kitty Forman: Well, ya know, on the way to the market I tried to run over a cat, but they are just so darn speedy!
Grandma's Dead (1999)
[Eric talks to his Grandma]
Eric Forman: I don't think being nice for a whole day would kill you.
[Grandma falls over and dies]
Punk Chick (1999)
Kitty Forman: Now, Jackie, have you ever made a pie before?
Jackie Burkhart: No, I don't really cook much. I just plan on getting by on my looks.
Water Tower (1999)
Red Forman: [to Eric] Are you on dope? Are you?
Kitty Forman: Because, because we can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization...
Red Forman: My foot kicking your ass.
A New Hope (1999)
Eric Forman: Hi, Mr. Pinciotti... Hey, Dad, could you show me some fighting moves?
Red Forman: Who're you fighting?
Eric Forman: David Milbank.
Bob Pinciotti: David Milbank? Doesn't he have scoliosis and asthma?
[Looks Eric up and down]
Bob Pinciotti: You could take him.
Prom Night (1999)
Edna Hyde: They're all gonna laugh at you!
Steven Hyde: Shut up, Ma! You're making the night too damn special!
The Career Day (1999)
Dr. Ashley: All right, let's start Mr Harris on a full course of penicillin.
Kitty Forman: Oh, um, Doctor, you might want to consider erythromycin.
Dr. Ashley: [patronizing] And why would I want to do that, Nurse?
Kitty Forman: Well, it's just that, uh, Mr Harris is allergic to penicillin, and I thought erythromycin might make him a touch less dead.
The Pill (1999)
Donna Pinciotti: Jackie, I went on the pill.
Jackie Burkhardt: Oh, my God. You are gonna be so popular!
First Date (1999)
Reginald "Red" Forman: Damn good thing I went with him. He wanted to buy a leisure suit.
Eric Forman: Come on, Dad. Leisure suits are cool. Everybody wears them.
Reginald "Red" Forman: Leisure suits are for dumbasses. Believe me.
[Bob walks in wearing a leisure suit]
I Do (2006)
Sawyer: We ain't on our island. We're on another island, like Alcatraz, couple miles off shore. So unless you're a mermaid, or you got a boat, there ain't no point.
The Cost of Living (2006)
Mr. Eko: I ask for no forgiveness, Father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that... when I was a young boy, I killed a man to save my brother's life. I am not sorry for this. I am proud of this.
Pilot (2014)
Kevin Garvey: You're wrong.Nobody's ready to feel better. They're ready to fucking explode.
The One with the East German Laundry Detergent (1994)
Phoebe Buffay: [Rachel accidentally left a red sock with her whites in the wash, now all her undies are pink] What a neat idea. All your clothes match. I'm gonna do this!
Every Man for Himself (2006)
Sawyer: Did you just kill that bunny?
Further Instructions (2006)
Charlie Pace: Hair spray? Now, I hate to be the one to point this out to you, but...
John Locke: It's not for me.
Asta and Yuno (2017)
Asta: Not giving up is my magic!
Just Say Yes (2024)
Ted: Johnny, how bad is school gonna suck?
John Bennett: You're not gonna like it.
Ted: How bad?
John Bennett: You ever drink orange juice after brushing your teeth?
Ted: Yeah?
John Bennett: Well, it's like getting your nuts smashed together so hard they become just one nut.
Ted: Holy shit. And that's every day?
John Bennett: That's every single day.
