Gurra

I didn't realize this was a Predator movie the first time I saw the poster and thought this was some random horror movie but the positive buzz certainly didn't pass me by so here we are again. After watching it I'm certainly... shocked?
From the get go this did very little to pull me in, be it the CG animals, one-dimensional plot or the the selfish attitude of our heroine. Now obviously one can argue how much that all matters when the action is good but it didn't really scratch that itch for me either... the Predator fighting with the animals was certainly entertaining but random guys biting the bullet with mostly offcam/unclear CG gore not so much. Would have been nice if they showed some wits when they fought him at the camp but somehow him going invisible is enough reason to lower their weapons and start talking to each other. She saw how the camouflage works multiple times in action already..?!!
What all those scenes, and the movie poster for that matter, certainly established, is that our protagonist has little to worry and that a showdown was coming but I would never have predicted the amounts of bullshit that would contain:
- Somehow becomes a baller and expert in alien technology. Knows when the Predator is coming, takes her magic herbs to immediately lower her blood temperature (but is not shivering and still standing up) and is in the Predators path who obviously doesn't see a standing corpse right in front of it or notices her moving out of the way...
- Never used the gun but knows the right angle to shoot and remove his mask (betting on this being a weakness when this did little to stop it before).
- Gets to conveniently escape for the n-th time and has enough time to finish up some traps (which the Predator even hit on some random tree lol).
- Gets hit to the head twice from the shield that cut through the Predators limbs, spear and even stone but is unscathed.
- Can easily remove a fang attached to it's face to save herself just in time.
- GPS dog that always magically reappears is ready to bring her the tomahawk...
- Manages to sit on top of the Predator and even pull him into the bog with a tiny rope and a much much smaller statue.
- The Predator obviously submerges immediately, but little does it know of her the grand plan to have him placed at that exact LOS of the mask in anticipation that he is gonna fire from his gun (despite not having had his mask for the whole time) while he is already targeted by the laser the entire time... b r a v o. Obviously that one shot was also enough to kill it.
...
Honest to god - how does a movie with such a contrived finale get so much praise, or even leave the script writing phase??

What a collosal waste of time. If this is what passes as horror today I am so glad I grew out of that phase way back in the 80's.

It was literally like there were two sets of writers and directors, the first writer/director who wrote the beginning with the character Keith in it seemed to have something going and it certainly made it creepy and had me wondering what was going to happen but then once Keith was gone it was like they brought in a new writer and director who had no clue where to go with the plot or how to finish the movie.I was starting to wonder if half way through the movie I had somehow switched to another movie that seemed to have completely lost the plot.
The "Barbarian", I assume was the grotesque woman and not the man kidnapping women?, was creepy looking but hardly scary at all and wasn't used enough. I mean, really, they want us to be on the edge of our seats because she wants to keep them as her baby and feed them?? LOL
The guy kidnapping the women and who created the whole set up is some decrepit bedridden old man who can barely hold his pistol to kill himself and he was the only scary one :D
When the homeless guy says there is something even worse than the creepy lady I kept waiting for it to appear, maybe THAT is what the "barbarian" was going to be and would make it all worth the while to watch this movie.... nothing... crickets. Did they forget they mentioned it? or was it so uninspiring and forgettable I compeltely missed it?! :D :D :D

The sad thing is I usually read reviews first before watching a movie/show so I get at least some idea if it is worth it or whether it will interest me or not and when I saw consistant positive reviews (and 7 or higher ratings) I figured it was worth a shot. Really?? C'mon, someone could have warned me this was crap!!!