Post-credits scene at the very end
This is so bland and inessential, they might’ve as well put it directly on Disney Plus. Why are we investing 300 million dollars in an action/adventure flick starring an 80 year old grandpa? Look I have a lot of respect for Harrison Ford, but everything that’s wrong with this movie is connected to the larger issue of him and the franchise being way past their expiration date, so this never should’ve been greenlit in the first place. Nothing is offensively bad here, but it’s more a case of wrong decisions piling onto each other.
I understand Lucasfilm’s decision to hire a director who just delivered two crowdpleasers in a row, both of which were acclaimed by normies and snobs alike. Mangold understands what makes the world and character work, but he doesn’t get the soul. Right from the opening scene, the movie looks drab, underlit and generic. There’s almost no imagination to the set pieces, and some of the more impressive stuntwork is undone by poor effects work. Take the Tuctuc chase. Ford’s stunt double puts in the work for the wide shots, but when you cut to a close-up of characters in front of a green screen, you’re not exactly selling the sequence. It’s not going to stick on my brain, it’s too unremarkable. Again, what’s the point of making an Indiana Jones movie if there’s no viscera or imagination to the action?
Then there’s the story, which is also very by the numbers and low on risk. It feels like wheel spinning, which in theory could be fine (the Bond franchise got away with that for decades) but there’s nothing to hold my interest. Some of the new mechanics introduced during the third act I found to be underwhelming, and this is coming from someone who didn’t mind the inclusion of aliens in the last film. All of the new characters are boring and underdeveloped (especially the villain), despite the actors putting in decent performances. It’s quite funny how this suffers from the same problem as Furious 7, where villains will show up on the same location as our heroes despite there being no story reason for it. Occasionally there’s a brief fun interaction, or a fun set, or a good visual idea (like the final shot, for example), but that’s not enough to fill its bloated runtime.
4/10
Another F&F movie that’s stupidly entertaining if you can meet it on its wavelength. You don’t need to turn your brain off, but you absolutely need to be able to embrace the madness with this franchise. These are science fiction/anime, they have been for a while now and that tone is once again clearly communicated by the filmmakers. That doesn’t mean there aren’t some small changes compared to previous installments, however. They toned down some of the dramatic undertones and over the top antics from the last ones, which I think was drastically needed. Momoa is a blast to watch, his mannerisms do feel inspired by Ledger’s Joker. In fact, I liked most of the new additions, even someone like Brie Larson is a lot more fun here than anything else I’ve seen her in. However, it’s having a hard time balancing all of its characters and storylines (did we need this convoluted mini sidequest/Infinity War-esque structure?). Sometimes you really feel that any breathing room has been taken out of the edit to make it as tight as possible. It’s not incomprehensible, but I really hope they make something more focussed for the next part. It’s F&F, this should thrive on simplicity. Everything else is the same old recipe. It’s a string of set pieces (loved the bit in Rome) and other entertaining scenes filled with bad acting, boring trap rap, great sound design, soap opera dialogue, lots of production value, fun comedy, plot twists to roll your eyes at and a whole lot of Vin Diesel mumbling about family inbetween. The weaknesses are all very obvious, but it makes up for a lot of them by being shamelessly entertaining.
5/10
Apple had the courage to compare this to some of the well established animated TV shows in the push notification they used to advertise it. While those are comedy shows, Central Park is not one. It’s a musical and a bland one at best.
Like its titular character, Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny exists in a world that has moved on from it. What's more, even though it's a perfectly serviceable film that's got fun moments, fine acting, and some heartfelt character work, there doesn't seem to be a reason for it to exist at all. The movie is all about reliving the past (or, more to the point, trying to save it), and it starts off with a flashback action set piece that is both exciting and full of technical wizardry. Disney seems determined to perfect the art of de-aging onscreen and the effect here is the best to date. It's a throwback that works, as Director James Mangold constructs the most Indiana Jones-esque part of the movie with fast-paced action and plot development that work really well together. Once its done and we fast forward to 1969, however, the story becomes a bit of a morass that challenges even the most fervent suspension of disbelief.
Harrison Ford is 80. He looks great- not a day over the 70 years old that he's playing, in fact. But watching him punch Nazis and scramble up cave walls while keeping up with his goddaughter, Helena, who even he points out is half his age, is absurd. Her character arc is the plot's biggest surprise and forces Indy to ask some interesting questions, but it doesn't help that Phoebe Waller doesn't look the part that she's trying to play, nor does she have the gravitas to feel like the heir to Indy's legacy that the film so obviously wants her to be. And those questions that get asked? Well, they're never answered. For a movie so interested in the past, it never really wants to reckon with it.
It's more than just missed opportunities to talk about Indy's history of "grave robbing" or the casual colonialism inherent in his ethos. (Whose museums do all of those artifacts belong in, anyway?) Even Nazi ideology is once again breezed over, save for one moment when Mads Mikkelsen is at his chilling best when he needles a Black WWII vet. The worst offenses are the obvious callbacks to iconic scenes in the first 3 films. Not only do they reflect lazy writing, it feels like the entire structure of the movie was built around them. At one point Indy grouses about an experience from one of the first 3 movies that everyone watching will remember, only to have a repeat of that film's other most memorable scene take place just a minute or so later. It's beyond fan service. It's insulting hackery.
This would have been a much more impactful and meaningful film had Harrison Ford been forced into the background, if there had been a worthy heir who could have taken the lead in the adventure as he advised. This would have worked as a nostalgic film as well, as he could have found himself playing the role that his father did in (the far superior) Last Crusade. Alas, the folks at Disney's Lucasfilm division seem much more interested in trying to repeat the successes of the past than inventing something for the future. If the world really has moved on from Indiana Jones, it'll have to keep waiting for what comes next because there's no sign of it here.
Sorry. For me it was very boring and long and boring and long again. Neverending.
It's not bad, it's just not great. Not doing it for me. The show and all the singing... oh the singing - I guess if you're huge on Broadway musicals this may be for you... I'm alright with cartoon musicals but this one goes a step too far with the show tunes. Still, I'm going to give it a fair chance and try to see season 1 through to the end. Huge fan of Bitsy and Helen - they're hilarious and they're the highlight of the show.
Black and O'Guin never disappointed me with how good Brickleberry and Paradise PD were. And so far after the first episode of Farzar, they still haven't!
UPDATE: After watching the whole season, I kinda like the older two shows better. But, its still pretty good and can't wait for Season 2!
Netflix thinks that we are stupid; it's cheap Paradise PD clone
Would have been better if Helena wasn't an annoying douche bag for the 1st hour
