The real question is why the hell did the guy charge money for snacks at the white house?
Funny as shit. And then sad as hell when you realize it's basically just a documentary.
I was smiling the entire movie. The level of detail and care that went into this film is incredible. Tributes from the first game to the last mario game. Yes, it's a children's movie, yes, the screenplay is not a masterpiece and yes, you will like it more if you are fan of the games. But it's a fun ride from start to finish.
At times, this feels like Ridley Scott in top form, directing sweeping, epic historical battles. At times, it feels like an absurdist black comedy à la The Great. (My entire theater lost it at "You think you're so great because you have BOATS!") But most of the time, it feels like an entire season of television hopelessly compressed into 2.5 hours. As a result, I understood little and cared even less.
Maybe the 4-hour cut will be better, but I doubt it. The sheer number of things it touches on - characters, political maneuvers, relationships, battles - seems like it would take 10 hours to cover properly.
"Destiny has brought me here. Destiny has brought me this lamb chop!"
Like a tour of the optometrist's: there's a lot of grind and not enough spectacles.
Ridley Scott made the dubious decision to focus the lens of Napoleon Bonaparte's biopic on his love life rather than his military expertise and failures.
So, instead of examining his expansion into the Americas and the political savior faire required to unify a divided France (by, for example, naming the Place des Vosges in Paris after the first French region to send taxes to the empire), we get overlong scenes of him having bad sex with his wife while both of them wear all the clothes.
Not to mention, and I won't because I'm alone in this, that the movie is made entirely in English, which is the intellectual equivalent of watching a civil war movie where the North and the South run around speaking German.
Nope, sadly, instead of a film worthy of an emperor we get a pile of reenactments based on some famous paintings.
Just realised the new season is being tracked separately here:
https://trakt.tv/shows/dexter-new-blood
This is the sequel to the last year's Polish backwoods slasher. Just to be clear, I hated the first film. I think it had killer soundtrack and awesome practical effects but everything else didn't quite match up and they were trying to be meta but doing it poorly. I can't say that I needed a sequel but here we go. This film continues where it left off and takes things in a new direction. It's way better than the original and this time it's actually a lot of fun to watch. The premise is more ridiculous to keep things fresh with meta-aspect done incredibly well while still maintaining the excessive gore, strong body horror, and impeccable soundtrack that I love from its predecessor. It takes a very unexpected turn in the second half that make this film a unique experience. The characters become more complex and interesting from there. And I did not expect the monster sex scene. I love it! I'd recommend it to anyone. The bad news is you have to watch that shitty original first.
A pretty bad Swedish accent
The name on Netflix is "FireDrake, The Silver Dragon" and I think this is much more young kid appropriate than How to Train your Dragon.
