If you’d ask me what the highlights of the previous 2 Ant-Man movies are, I’d probably answer: I don’t remember much about them, but I liked those quirky scenes narrated by Michael Peña and the creative use of shrinking powers during the set pieces. For as forgettable as both movies are, at least I still remember the set piece with the train in the first movie, or the kitchen fight from the second movie. With this movie, I'm already having trouble remembering any specifics, because all of those typical Edgar Wright touches have been erased in favor of being a big CGI extravaganza. So, allow me to do a general breakdown of the three acts instead.
1st act: We get a set-up that's similar to Spiderman: No Way Home, which means it’s in a hurry to get to the main dish, making every main character look like an irresponsible dumbass in the process. Once we get to the quantum realm, we're met with a lot of cringe comedy. The design of the world is fine, it feels like a mashup of prequel era Star Wars, Avatar, The Fifth Element and Spy Kids, not like an original creation. A stronger, visionary director probably would've made a big difference here, or at least one who knows how to use the volume stages, because that might’ve avoided the Spy Kids comparisons.
2nd act: Jonathan Majors arrives to do some actual acting, and he somehow pulls it off despite the hammy, pseudo-intellectual lines given to him by the script. Michelle Pfeiffer also gets some time to shine, when she's on the screen with Majors it feels like the movie actually comes to life for a brief second. Still, the scenes with Kang feel tonally inconsistent with the rest of the movie, and I’m not sold on the idea of him being the Avengers level threat we’ve been waiting for. When it comes to the other actors, most of them are given nothing interesting to do, the supposed co-lead of this movie (according to the title) included. I don't like picking on younger actors, but it needs to be said that Emma Fuhrmann expressed more emotion during her 10 second appearance as Cassie Lang in Avengers: Endgame than Kathryn Newton did here. In terms of story, this portion of the movie is all about set-up and clunky exposition as delivered through monologues. One of the characters even gets introduced with his own 'previously on Ant-Man' recap, which I find insulting and shows what little faith this studio has in its audience. Besides, it probably would’ve been better to cut this character, because his inclusion is easily one of Marvel's worst creative decisions (the design and visual effects are laughable). Generally I'd say this act is pretty boring, and occasionally embarrassing.
3rd act: The movie decides it wants to be Aquaman instead, so we're getting an extended battle sequence of stuff fighting other stuff, with plenty of flashes, lasers and more stuff. It's big, it's loud, and I check out. Every cheesy crowdpleaser deserves its fair share of deus ex machina moments, but this movie spams the action movie trope of 'our main character is in peril only to get saved at the very last moment' to death at this point. Furthermore, the cringe comedy makes a big return, with Corey Stoll delivering a line so bad that it will become a meme (you'll know once you see the movie). More punchy stuff, more pew pew, more 'comedy', and thankfully the movie finally decides it has wasted enough of my time. We get a final montage that includes the first good joke of the movie, and the credits roll. Nothing is achieved, absolutely nothing. This is a cynically conceived advertisement that does not deserve your time.
3/10
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@jordyep Hey! Read your review and thought it was well written and on point. If you don't mind me asking, how long does a review like this take you to write? I started writing comments/reviews about 18 months ago and I feel like it still takes me way too long, lol.
I don't know if its just a matter of age, but this film did not work for me. The central pairing between Michael Douglas and Glenn Close was almost a complete deal breaker. I understand style and beauty standards change from decade to decade, but I was not seeing any attraction, fatal or otherwise. And that's not to say the performances were bad. I actually think they both did solid work. Maybe too solid in the case of Glenn Close, as her character struck me as the type to avoid almost immediately. Job well done I suppose. As far as the story goes, there wasn't much to it. It's a simple premise, and once the train is on the tracks it doesn't really offer many surprises. I spent much of the movie speculating on the next big sequence and was correct more often than not. The ending also suffers from a couple problems. I felt it borrowed a bit too much from the slasher/horror genre (especially with the cliché not-dead-yet Glenn Close jumping out of the bath tub for a final scare. I also think it would have benefitted from a less tidy/happy ending. As an aside, my girlfriend and I had been specifically looking to watch an erotic thriller and were quite disappointed in this film's offerings in that regard. However, we did get a good laugh out of the strange sex scene where the sink accidentally starts running and Michael and Glenn frantically start splashing water onto each other. Not sure we'll be incorporating that move, but definitely something to think about. As one final note, there are a couple scenes featuring casual racist stereotypes that are enough to make any modern audience grimace. They aren't a major part of the film, and are downright tame compared to something like Mickey Rooney's character in Breakfast at Tiffany's, but it's always interesting to see how things have changed over the last 30+ years.
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@zerpente If I recall correctly, it was a couple of scenes with Japanese stereotypes being played for laughs. Douglas' co-worker had a few lines, both in the initial party scene and one later scene. Wasn't anything super over the top, but I don't think it's something that would ever be put in a movie today.
