“Well, I’m in trouble”
Jason Statham vs. giant shark - How’s that for a movie pitch. Ridiculous, but could be fun. And it was enjoyable, especially the last 20 minutes. Which shouldn’t be surprising the film swept at the box office and lives up to the concept of Statham fighting a 2.6 million year old, thought to be extinct shark. Just don’t be surprised if this becomes a meme in a few years.
The movie literally ends with a Thai version of ‘’Hey Mickey you’re so fine’.
Still, ‘The Meg’ was a lot of fun. Is it going to change cinema forever or give you a unique experience? Not really. It’s one of the dumbest movies of 2018, and yet, you can find some enjoyment out of it. You can even laugh at the corny scenes which was meant to be taken seriously. However, if I have to critique, I will gladly do so.
This movie lacks balance in tone and knowing what it’s trying to be. There’s horror elements when the Megalodon attacks. There’s comedic elements that stops it from being gloomy. There’s dumb popcorn fluff to keep things vibrant. And there’s suspense when the shark is near. All tones mashed together with uneven results. I didn’t find any of the humor that funny and the only time I chuckled was something unintentional.
The amount of charm Statham brings to the character already makes his presence likable. Too bad they didn’t give him any memorable one liners. You could pick out lines like “Chomp on this you ugly bastard.”, or “My god, it’s a Megalodon” - those are alright, although nothing will top “Smile you son of a b-”.
Every time there’s a death scene or somebody is going to die, it’s telegraphed and obvious. Supporting characters with very little screen time - They goners. Also, I’ve haven’t seen Masi Oka in anything for awhile and I was surprised to see him here. Loved him in ‘Heroes’. Man, they did him wrong here.
The CGI is OK, some of the acting wasn’t that good, and the overall experience feels like a water down blood-fest.
Jon Turteltaub (the director) openly said the original cut was brutal and "Horrifying, Disgusting". In interviews, Turteltaub expressed his disappointment that we won’t see this cut in cinemas. Which makes me wonder what the original cut was like, not just in violence, but how terrifying it might be. Will it add anything? Who knows. Could have taken an enjoyable dumb film into a bloody good time. Perhaps this generations “Deep Blue Sea”.
Overall Rating: Fin
Jason Statham, in need of a bigger boat, and another beer. Former Hiro, Masi Oka, doesn't save the cheerleader, or himself, but he does save the Hero. Cliff Curtis, doing his sidekick thing, in fear of a 70ft "Big tooth", but not of the walking dead variety. Ruby Rose, sans, Batsuit or John Wicks tailor, designs big toys for big boys and gets wet a lot. Li Bingbing, probably wishes her moniker didn't make you visualize an Asian woman engaged in the oldest profession, appearing in a war movie, and telling a group of soldiers, "me love you LONG time", but, she has a precocious daughter, and gets the guy, so, winner, winner, shark fin dinner. The maximum melanin enhanced character, doing his best Private Hudson improv, for once, survives to see the credits roll.
Look, it's a silly, fun bit of fluff about a gargantuan Shark that would make "Bruce" from the original "don't go in the water" movie look like, well, geez, look at the fracking poster man! You knew what you were getting into when you decided to watch it, so, please spare us the feigned disappointment and first year film class critiques. As Meiying might say, "quit your complaining', you have a mouse, and the ability to exit an open tab".
@Jordyep - "Why soooo, SERIOUS?????"
From the title and the premise, I was under no illusion that The Meg was going to be a classic. It was clearly B-movie material, but sometimes B-movie material knows what it is and can be very entertaining and downright ‘brain-removed’ fun. Unfortunately for me The Meg failed on all fronts.
Even with Jason Statham who has never taken himself seriously but is always charismatic and interesting with his iron-filings tinged jaw The Meg slumps. Bogged down by cliché and plum-duff stodgy dialogue the enormous villain of the piece hardly leaves the sandy bottom of the sea.
All things shark on the silver screen now start with Jaws and nearly all end with Jaws. The Meg is the son of the endeavour that is never talked about and sent far away due to his embarrassment to the family.
For instance, even with experienced and good actors in the major roles the cardboard cut-out characters never stay beyond that two dimensioned flatness and then put words in their mouths that belonged in the first draft of the script and you submersible cannot blow it’s ballast tanks to get near to the surface.
Bingbing Li, in particular, delivers her lines with no conviction and is as if she was shoehorned into this film on the whim of the producers – surely not? She’s clearly a beautiful experienced actor so goodness knows what on with this film and role. Even good old Jason has lost fifty percent of his shine and cannot lift the film or story beyond the m’eh level.
Rain Wilson, another good actor starts well in his ‘big bad is a extremely rich (again)’ role but my oh my what did he think if he looked further and further into his script as ‘Morris’ gets more and more predictable until he ends up exactly as you think he is going to. In fact, predictable is the one-word review of this film. You know what is going to happen and when the only fun is guessing how is going to end up as chow and who is swimming home and even that is easy.
The special effects are effects, the story is dull and been seen so many times before and so better that it strains credibility ten minutes in. The dullest part is all those references to Jaws that just make you think you are watching Jaws.
All in all The Meg could have been a great story and even if a bit cheesy it could have been fun but some ham-fisted decisions, derisory script and simplistic and cliché story writing harpooned it before it left the ocean floor.
The Meg is great if your eight-years-old or younger, and if you are you shouldn’t be watching it, but for the rest us it is not even funny in a ‘not funny’ way. Watch Jaws instead.
Well, when the credits started to roll I cannot say that I felt it had been a waste of time and money. I did indeed have some enjoyment watching this movie. However, it could have been a lot better.
For starters, what is the point of making a movie about a bloody “dinosaur shark” and aim for a PG-13 rating? Whoever made that incredibly stupid decision obviously missed the mark big time. I think this was the biggest fault with the movie. There were so many missed opportunities. The entire scene at the beach at the end of the movie was just wasted for example.
The script was of course somewhat illogical with holes in it large enough to drive a, well, a Megalodon through them. This however was something that I more or less expected given the kind of movie. First of all it is science fiction and fantasy after all and second, it appears that these kind of movies never seem to get anything better than mediocre script writers…at best.
There were some good things though. I have read the book and I didn’t really like it. In my review I gave it 2 out 5 five stars. The main reason for this was that the book was more of a bad soap opera than a horror/thriller. It was so filled with unlikable, scheming and backstabbing assholes that it was really not enjoyable. Jason’s ex wife was such a despicable bitch that she alone ruined the book for example.
Luckily the movie had toned down that aspect of the book quite a lot. Actually, in the end, there was really only one truly despicable asshole in the movie and he met with the fate that he deserved thanks to his own stupidity.
So, I did enjoy the movie and, as a science fiction and fantasy fan, I am glad to have watched it. I mean, a giant pre-historic shark on the big screen does have a certain cool-factor after all. It was somewhat saved by Jason Statham being in it though and it could have been a lot better.
The Meg was clearly a typo title, as a more fitting title was just one letter off - The Meh. In a single word, The Meg was significantly "boring". I had a hard time distinguishing what exactly was wrong with it until I realized it was incorrectly marketed. It wanted to be in the same market as Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, The Shallows, and Deep Blue Sea for obvious reasons, but it lacked a vital denominator that connects the others - suspense. They are a type of horror film that really keeps us on our toes and gets us worried about the characters, not knowing how things will ultimately pan out in the end. This wasn't horror, thrilling, or suspenseful, it was an action movie starring Jason Statham. The characters were forgettable, two-dimensional, and even though they were constantly in peril, you never really believe it because you don't really care about who they were.
The whole "this is the biggest shark in the history of shark movies" thing is mostly a gimmick, and they completely rely on that gimmick for any success it actually finds. Yes, the graphics were rather decent, but this happens to be the most forgettable shark I've ever seen in a movie like this. The size is memorable, that's it. As for Statham, he was so underutilized because this isn't his type of movie, action, or character. It was fine for what it was, but it literally anyone could've played that role. As I write this, I've already forgotten his character's name, because who cares?
To say I'm disappointed is a bit of an understatement because it had all the opportunities in the world to really make something special
I had to see it twice to confirm if I was crazy that I enjoyed this conventional safe corporate product. and to see Statham naked again, i ain't gay You all know what this is and what to expect from it. Just look at the poster and the title. The bar for quality has been set right there. But does that make experience inherently not worth bothering with? Would you be satisfied putting your money down for it? I can argue I got my money's worth, even if some of the blood and gore was neutered to reach a PG-13 and Chinese market. A shame uncut and more grotesque scenes were filmed, but will never be completed due to money. Despite it's lack of Piranha 3D ludicrous blood shed, there is a lot of action and spectacle to be had with The Meg. The plot is nothing more inventive than what The Asylum and syfy would greenlit, I've never read the novel, so I can't speak for the consistency. What bolsters the script up from it's depths of potential obscurity, is it's high budget crowd pleasing intuition. Lots of emphasis on quips, something I'm usually against, but luckily are implemented smoothly into each character. Not everyone is a damn comedian, it just feels more natural, only once did I feel the placement of a joke was unneeded. This is like what you'd expect from an old 70's exploitation flick, Statham is like the classic adventure hero; even one scene, he lifts his hat up like Indiana Jones. After a traumatizing incident in which he's forced to leave behind a group of people to save another set, he quits diving and retires to Thailand. But when an ocean trench expedition involving his ex-wife goes wrong, he's persuaded to come back in and help. The first half of the film is like Deep Blue Sea, setting up the locations in characters; it's more of a rescue set-up for the megalodon to come in later. It's not like the story of Gareth Edwards' Godzilla, how Godzilla's origins are deeply intertwined into the narrative. This, you could replace the shark with any deep sea creature, it doesn't matter too much, except for the finale. Once the titular monster comes on screen, the movie officially begins. From there, you get the dumb fun you want, and there's a good amount of it. Want to see the shark swallow a diving cage whole? Sure, why not? Anything you want to see the shark do, it's in here somewhere. It's like Rampage in the sense it understands you just want dumb fun. I can respect a blockbuster that doesn't aim for quality, just looking to give you loads of delicious flavorful eye candy. What makes something like this work over another "dumb fun" blockbuster like Pacific Rim: Uprising, comes down to two things: The Meg isn't a sequel with expectations to be lived up to, and there's a competent story, start to finish. While it's not original, could be to blame that the novel is old, it works enough. The characters make up for any tiny lack of shark presence. If we can get more Asian actors in front of the camera like this, by all means, go for it. I'm just a sucker for the Asian aesthetic, see, this whole movie takes place in China and stars one of the country's biggest stars, so you can see why it's doing so great at the box office. This is how you do a silly summer cheese fest, it's not too over the top, it understands you want to see the shark, it has a classic story behind it, and places emphasis on the leads being at least entertaining to latch onto. Did any of you notice the nod to Jaws at the end? When the Meg sinks to the bottom of the ocean, it makes the same growling sound the blown up shark in Jaws did. Trivial knowledge for the hardcore fans out there.
If "Fair" is 6, and "Good" is 7, then "Fun" should be somewhere around 6.5 and that's what this is. It is completely over-the-top goofy, almost-but-just-shy-of roll-your-eyes unbelievable creature feature. The premise for someone somehow releasing this prehistoric beast back into humanity feels like a storyline straight from Primeval but it somehows remains fun to watch. I think maybe it remains fun because it's not "cheesy" yet no one takes their role so seriously as to come off as trying to make this "believable". Jason Statham was a good lead without having to resort to his "tough guy" persona and Rainn Wilson, his counterpart as the sort of "I want it all and I have the money to get what I want" antagonist, was also just snotty enough to come across perfectly without playing his part too strong. Although the scenes featuring both characters weren't frequent, the scenes where both characters were involved in a casual butting of heads always came off as very believable: no yelling, no threatening, no bullying, no intimidating, etc. Just two guys trying to do what (in their estimation) needed to be done, albeit for very different reasons. Great cast that included several familiar faces, in addition to both Wilson and Statham. There were (IMO) a handful of scenes that were a wee bit too cheesy and could've been left out: the wedding on the cruise ship, the shrieking bride, the silly little Shitzu dog that decided - for no obvious reason whatsoever - to take a lonnnnnng swim straight out into the middle of the ocean, the "beach ball" scene, etc. But all in all, this was just a fun "creature feature" to sit back and enjoy. Yes, there were a couple of jump scares but by and large, this wasn't a "horror" or even a "scary" movie by any stretch. Just good clean fun where it came across as several quality actors just having fun filling the roles. Nothing wooden, nothing hyper-emotional, nothing overly dramatic...This was just a good fun movie. Goofy, yes. Unbelievable, certainly. But still fun. I recommend getting a big tub of hot buttered popcorn, some soda, and just kicking your heels up for a coupl'a hours and enjoying this one.
What to jot down about such a silly movie? Whelp...I like big monsters so this checks that box. The Megalodon was fierce and threatening. Not to "Jaws" levels or anything, but it was a menace. The CGI was better than I thought it was going to be. I knew it wouldn't be at "Sharknado" lows, but it was a pleasant surprise.
Rainn Wilson was really good. His character Morris was all over the place emotionally. Jason Statham was, well...Jason Statham, square-jaw and all. But he played an ultimately charming and heroic lead. He has some real chemistry with Bingbing Li, who, as unacceptable as it might be to say in this day and age, was beautiful and smart. In fact, all of the female characters were terrific. Ruby Rose (Jaxx) and Jessica McNamee (Lori) were portrayed as strong leaders also, which was cool. Both genders pitched in equally for those who feel it necessary to always measure that kind of thing. It was amazing to watch how easily characters shook off the deaths of their friends and family. But people paid to see the shark, so no time to dwell on that stuff.
If you like your human carnage without much thought, this is for you. People die but at least the dog survives.
For someone who hasn't seen that many shark movies (read: has only seen Jaws), was The Meg action-packed and quite enjoyable. The movie itself was pretty to look at. The underwater environment was created beautifully, as well as the shark. That's a good thing because the buildup to the first "shark glimpse" took pretty long, which made the beginning of the movie feel quite slow. So the images of pretty fish made up for that. I would have loved to learn more about the shark species "Megalodon" but they didn't go into that, at all. But then again, it is an action movie. And let me tell you, this movie contains a lot of just that. It was to be expected with an actor lineup that contains Jason Statham. I really enjoyed his performance as Jonas Taylor. This might have been the first movie where I actually saw him smile. I really enjoyed Shuya Sophie Cai's performance as Meiying as well. She did a great job.
I feel quite sad that the shark had to die in the end. Just wanted to add that to the review.
I can't wait to watch more shark movies. So if you're reading this and you know some great once I need to check out, let me know :-)
Review by Sisi2BlockedParent2018-08-02T07:11:07Z
This movie feels a lot like Jaws even though it has different story line - the essence is the same.
Lots of cliches but if you see it with the mindset that you want to be entertained for couple of hours - go for it, otherwise you will not enjoy it. Nothing spectacular as far as cinematography goes, so don't waste your money on premium screenings. It has few jump scares, also people were eaten (as it should be expected).
The prescreening that I attended was in 3D but besides couple of into your face moments the 3D didn't bring much to the table.
Surprisingly, there were a lot of funny jokes which made the movie more enjoyable.
Fun Fact: Something that I noticed and it bugged me a lot: after the intro of the movie there was a scene with a helicopter flying over the ocean, near cliffs. Whoever added the helicopter digitally was an amateur - the proportions were so bad. You could clearly see the ripples, the waves crushing into the cliff and if you've been near real ocean you can judge how close the camera to them is but the helicopter was so small that it looked the size of a drone when compared to the ocean ripples. They probably wanted to make it look like the helicopter was far in the distance and that the ocean is vast but it was a poor attempt. Reminds me of a stock photo from a reputable site that was a beach and palm trees. I enlarged the ocean water to use as a background (graphic design job) and I saw the pool tiles clearly - someone had stitched the photo. This helicopter was even worse!