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Private Notes
The boys "Hunt Flowers", according to Ryan, while discussing how much meat they can shove in their mouths. Also, Jack accidentally burned his webcam into his footage.
Achievement City took some heavy hits in 2015, so it's time for some major cleaning up and less blowing up!
175 episodes later, Gav decides he's had enough of Geoff's tower hoarding ways. The Brit has nicked the Tower of Pimps and it's up to the rest of the crew to track it down and take Gav out! Can they out-wit, out-last, and out-play the creator of the TOP!? Will the audience understand a reference from a reality TV show from the year 2000?! Some of these questions and far less will be answered...maybe!
Wacky! Fun! Crazy! IT'S OUTRAGEOUS! Minecraft, a whole lot of fun, towers to be won!
It's a real crazy game where ANYTHING goes!
MINECRAFT! It's a challenge, it's a race, and a real wacky place!
Use your body and your brain if you wanna win the game!
MINECRAFT!
The 1.8.8 Update for Minecraft was released, while Geoff prepares for a 1.8.8 Appreciation Contest the boys sit down and have a little ADVENTURE.
The AH crew has discovered the Ocean Monument, but have yet to unearth the treasures it holds!
Fresh from the adventure, it's time to really appreciate what the 1.8.8 Update in Minecraft has given us! Sponges, Guardians, Puke Dirt...
2, 4, 6, 1.8.8, what do we appreciate? MINECRAFT!
"Appreciation" at this point may be a bit of an exaggeration, but we're certain you'll all appreciate the massive amount of the patented Achievement Hunter brand VINEGAR that's spread throughout this episode!
With the "success" of Geoff, Ryan, and Michael it's time for Jack, Jeremy and Gavin (aka Team "The Other Crew") to accept the challenge of "There Is No Learning Curve 2: Candidature Aptitude Tests". Will they succeed or is the learning curve too steep?
Geoff and Gavin brainstormed for all of 12 seconds and came up with the greatest Minecraft idea of all time...JEREMY IS IN CHARGE!
MINECRAFT 1.9.0 ALREADY?! Capes! Flying! Dual wielding! Oh, and Herobrine was removed again.
A long time ago, in a Minecraft far, far, farrrr right on this very channel... we discovered the truth behind the Altar of Pimps. 100 episodes and years of careful planning (that definitely happened), the boys are back in the Altar to begin a new adventure. A journey into this new era of Minecraft. The 200s.
Last week, the Achievement Hunter crew sleuth'd their way through Achievement City in search of clues - lots of slippery, poetic clues. This week, you can watch the thrilling conclusion to the most clue-searchinest episode of Minecraft since episode 100!
Can Jack reclaim the altar of pimps for the next hundred episodes? Can Jeremy or Ryan end up taking the win? Can Michael catch up from his staggering trail-behind? Or maybe Geoff and Gavin will steal the altar for themselves. I mean, it's a little unfair they can't even compete, after all. So sit down, strap in, flap in, strap on, jump in, hump down, flame on, snip snap, punch down, slimslam, jam up, and get ready for Minecraft Two-Oh-One! It's a good'n!
The Brainy Buddy Besties - Gavin, Jack, and Jeremy - are ready to take another crack at conquering There is No Learning Curve 2. Today's challenge will test their collective memory as they try to build increasingly crazy contraptions. One thing's for certain: Gavin has remembered to piss off the server. Maybe he should have saved that brain power for the task at hand.
With new Achievements added to Minecraft on the Xbox One (and the 360, but we're totally going to ignore that), Geoff, Jack, Ryan, Michael, and Jeremy decide it's time to do some good ol' achievement hunting. Gotta hunt that Wither, gotta eat that Notch apple, and most importantly, gotta trampoline with complete disregard for safety. Push it to the limit! Walk along the slime block's edge. You may get creeper'd. You may fall in lava. You may wither away, or skeleton'd, or miss the trampoline, but dammit! There's achievements on the line. You need to keep on keep on-ing.
In this installment of "Let's Play Minecraft: Who the Hell Came into the Office Today Edition," Geoff, Michael, and Ryan check out a cool adventure map from the creators of There is No Learning Curve: Templars of Hyrule! Time to put on your tunics and start questing for the Master Sword in this epic Zelda adventure. Certainly no, "I wonder what's for dinner?" or "Squadala! We are off!" to be found here. This is good Legend of Zelda. This is Muthafuckin' Ocarina of Muthafuckin' Time, muthafucka! Can our three Links conquer the perils of the Great Deku Tree? And more importantly, will they at least struggle less than they do during No Learning Curve? Luckily, the answer is yes.
Fun fact: The original title of this video was "Let's Play Minecraft - Episode 205 - Mo'Chievements 2: Golden Apples (Except Hold Your Tongue and Say it Out Loud and it Makes You Say Assholes, Which is Pretty Funny Because it's Like You're Calling Yourself an Asshole but Really You Just Got Fooled, or Alternatively You're Talking About Golden Assholes, Which is What I Imagine Could be a Thing Rich People Pay Extra for During Their Monthly Anal Bleaching)." Unfortunately, that was way way way too long for a video title, so it got shortened down just a smidge to the current video title currently on the video currently.
Welcome back to Mo'Chievements! The gang (minus Michael, but Gavin's here this time) are still on their quest to nab all the new Achievements in the Xbox One version of Minecraft. Today, it's all about gold and skulls. Just gold and skulls. And maybe a little bit of Gavin Free tramampoline trambopoline action.
It's been a rough couple weeks for the Achievement Hunter gang. They've had it so hard, having to bounce on a trampoline and then eat an apple. Talk about rough. In comparison, this week's task should be easy breezy - taking down the Wither...and also building a shiny new tramampoline trambopoline. Watch as heroes are born, or the gang withers away. Or maybe both!
The Zelda boys are back and ready to keep adventuring through Templars of Hyrule: AKA Ocarina of Time, but Minecraft. Today, they're ready to dance with Darunia, do some intense party planning, take down King Dodongo, and earn their second spiritual stone.
Five Minecraft videos ago, a mysterious chest was delivered to the Achievement Hunter office. Inside of that chest was a box. And inside of that box was an envelope. And inside of that envelope was a letter - a letter that said:
"Six new achievements - We feel so alive!
Trambampolined hard - and then there were five.
Five new achievements - What else is in store?
Eat a Notch Apple - and then there were four.
Four new achievements - They fill us with glee!
Tie dye some leather - and then there were three.
Three new achievements - What are we to do?
Summon the Wither - and then there were two.
Two new achievements - the quest almost done.
Fuck up the Wither - and then there was one.
One new achievement - and that's the whole haul.
Full charge a beacon - and you've got them all!"
Achievement Hunter was up to the task! Mo'Chievements? No problem. Except for the Mo'Problems that came along with trying to get all the new achievements. But with only one achievement left (or two if you're Gavin and didn't kill the Wither), it looked like this Mo'Chievement journey was nearing its end. The only thing left for the Achievement Hunters to do was collect a dickton of iron and build a beacon...and kill the Wither again because they didn't save after killing it the last time. Damn! Mo'Chievements really does lead to Mo'Problems.
131 weeks ago, the AH Crew decided it was a good idea to hunt the most dangerous game: human. Now they're finally ready to take another stab at man hunting - this time on Achievement City's world-famous stabbing grounds.
Geoff, Michael, and Ryan are ready to continue their epic Zelda quest in Templars of Hyrule: The Ocarina-of-Time-iest Minecraft mod out there! With two spiritual stones in their pockets already, our heroes are out to grab the final stone necessary to open the Temple of Time. Now, it's time to take a visit to Lake Hylia, meet some horrible fish people, and wind up inside the stomach of a huge disgusting fish monster. In the words of the great Tommy Wiseau, "Anything for my princess."
Eons before Achievement City existed as you or I know it today, The Ancient Ones thrived in an underwater utopia far below on the ocean floor. The Achievelantians, as they were known, were in many ways far more advanced than the modern Achievemen. I mean, they lived in a freakin' underwater city (like the Gungans) without being super annoying pricks (like the Gungans)! That's a heavy accomplishment.
These Ancient Ones, these Achievelantians went extinct - probably by the fault of Ancient Gavin - and their city was lost to time. This city, Achievelantis, has been thought to be nothing more than a legend. But today, Geoff has discovered ancient maps in the Achievement Archives - maps that could possibly lead to this fabled lost city. Now it is time for the Achievement Hunters to throw on their swimmy suits and explore the most remote locations across Achievement City in order to discover the sunken sanctum below the sea - Achievelantis!
Ryan, Michael, Jack, and Jeremy threw their Xbox Ones in the trash and hobbled together enough Wii U consoles to explore the Super Mario Mash Up Pack. Why be Banjo when you can be a sweet-ass human Yoshi? Or Wario? Or Luigi? Or horny man Bowser?
And who needs Achievement City when you've got Mario 64, Super Mario World, Mario Bros 3, Mario Sunshine, and those other ones all in one location!? Probably we do, since there may or may not be a Mario World to explore by the end of the video.
Get your freezies and your flamies ready so you can smash them together with some Minecraft and get 1.10 - the Frostburn update. Today, the Achievement Hunter crew heads out on a pretty sweet quest for bears and beet(roots) and maybe a little Battlestar Galactica. Or at least the closest they can get in Minecraft - which is super fly boats, apparently. Crazy fast!
Millions upon millions of years ago, low-poly, blocky Minecraft dinosaurs roamed the earth. But then a super blocky meteor hit the world and killed them all. Like hardcore fucking brutalized the poor bastards. Faces ripped from their faces. Heads separated from bodies. Little ones left with their organs pulverized into a gooey paste. It was horrifying to watch and even more horrifying to experience. Poor poor dinos. All dead and extinct.
Millions upon millions of years later, Gavin found an archaeologist costume in his attic and decided to play fossil hunters with his best boys - Geoff, Ryan, Jack, Jeremy, and Michael. Now, the hunt is on! Gavin desperately wants to get his bone on and find some fossils! And Ryan desperately wants to get rid of his hiccups.
Who dare intrude into the thunderdome? Achievement Hunter, that's who! Six men (well, five men and one ladyface) enter, one man (or aforementioned ladyface) leaves. Witness this fragile six-person alliance crumble as they battle to be the sole survivor. Witness Geoff slice Jack in half with a flaming sword. Witness Gavin flame-shovel his way to victory. Witness Michael beat Jeremy to death with a stick. No, sorry. A FLAMING FUCKING STICK!
In this Minecraft Battle Mini-Game, everything can burn, everything can be burnt, and everything will burn! And after all the carnage, will there be anyone left alive. Yes...yes there will. We've already established at least one person will walk away alive. Pay better attention, silly.
All rise for the honorable Judge Geoff. Cheatyface Court in now in session. Gavin Free, you have been brought here today to defend your honor. You are being accused of the following.
1 count of teleporting to another player
2 counts of teleporting players to yourself
1 count game dropping and illicit sever dickery dickity foolishness
3 counts smuggling unknown entities into Achievement City
You come to this court today claiming to be innocent of these crimes. But please, Mr. Free, I'd like to draw your attention to exhibit A - one internet video titled "Let's Play Minecraft - Triathlon." Jury, it is up to you to watch the tape and conclude whether or not this man is innocent, or if he should be set "free" from these accusations. Please choose wisely.
For years, Ryan has been illegitimately shoving things into holes all over Achievement City. Cows, chickens, pigs, sheep, zombies, beavers, badgers, Gavins - lots of things. But for these few very precious moments, all the animals across the land are safe because Ryan fucked off for the week.
Having grown sick of Ryan's animal abuse and hole-o-philia, the rest of the Achievement Hunters have decided to give the mad king a little taste of his weekly injustices. With pickaxes and shovels in hand, foreman Geoff and the boys are ready to dig (and, of course, sing their favorite digging tune).
"You've got to go dig those holes,
With broken hands and withered souls.
Emancipated from all you know,
You've got to go dig those holes."
Alright boys. We're making great progress! We've got a nice, deep hole and a bit of a new house down there. The track is coming along nicely, and we've got an Edgar pit in progress. We should be done in no time.
Wait. Jeremy. Jeremy!? What are you doing to those other houses? You little prick! We didn't budget for those! How are we supposed to afford finishing Ryan's house AND fix all the houses you just "renovated"? And it's not like we can undo these new changes. Half of Gavin's house is gone!
Here. Take this stack of wood and get building. It's all we can afford. Maybe he won't notice.
Oh man, guys. We got Ryan fuckin' good. We painstakingly replicated Ryan's house on bedrock, Edgar hole and all, built a sweet-ass rail system that lets him get in and out with style, made sure all the walls look pristine, stocked Ryan with an adequate supply of minecarts so the rail system will never betray him, gave him plenty more room to start building weird shit, and even gave Giant Jack a nice little makeover. Ryan's going to be so pissed at how much better his house is now. Perfect, A++, top shelf prank. Fuck, dude. We totally sheganigans'd Ryan. We shenanigans'd him so fucking good.
Achievement City - the city that has everything. Cool buildings, giant pooping sheep, fun and games, a shag tent, public transportation, and so much more. But occasionally the Achievement Hunter crew doesn't want to run all around the city. Sometimes they want to take it nice and easy. Sometimes they just want to sit down, drink beer, and chat. Sometimes they just need a place to record funny little shows in a funny little room - so pretty much any show that isn't On the Spot. Thanks to foreman Michael and build buds Matt and Ryan, now there's a place for just that. A place where things can go just a little...off topic.
"See there, mistah Creepah, see? Come o'a hyeaw mistah Creepah. I see, I see, I see yaw over theaw and I want yaw to be o'a hyeaw. Y'see, y'see, we'a playin' Creepah soccah o'a hyeaw and you need to be the baw, y'see, mistah creepah!"
"Ryan, shut the fuck up. Do you think anyone's really going to understand that bullshit? People need to be able to read the video description so they know we're playing Creeper Soccer X, and there's no way they're going to get that from anything you just said. Fuckin' come on."
"...NYEAW! NYEAW! Come o'a here, see? Theaw plenty'a Creepa' Soccer to watch over hyeaw."
"Go fuck yourself, Ryan."
There was a serious problem last week. Creeper Soccer X was built with the intent of making the Achievement Hunter boys absolutely miserable, but in a crazy-ass turn of events, they had a pretty great time. Since that didn't work, Matt had to dive deep into the depths of the Nether to unleash the most sinister backup plan he could come up with - Dark Monopoly.
In short, Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo YOU HORRIBLE MONSTER!
The Achievement Hunter boys are checking out a new minigame for Minecraft Console Edition: Tumble! No! It's totally crazy different from Spleef. This isn't Spleef at all. What are you talking about? We didn't do a Things to Do in this four years ago. Spleef doesn't have cool-ass maps like this. Spleef doesn't have snowballs. I mean, yeah, sure, it does definitely have shovels, but snow way there were snowballs in Spleef. Yup yup. Totally totally different! Can we at least agree it's not anything like Quim or Queef? We can agree on that much, right? Right?
The Achievement Hunter boys may be a little bit older than ten, but that doesn't matter. Today is their first day on a long, long journey to become Minecraft Pokemon Masters in the Pixelmon Mod. Watch as the crew ventures out into the vast Pokelands of AHto, where the Granbulls are scary as fuck, the Pokeballs are hard to come by, and the Squirtles take after Jeremy.
Yes, they do want to be the very best like no one ever was. Yes, to catch them is their real test. Yes, to train them is their cause. Yes, they will travel across the land, searching far and wide. And yes, a Tentacruel will probably demolish a building at some point during their theme song. PIXELMON!
"Oh no way. They won't play Pixelmon again. This is going to be another one-off. We want Pixelmon so so bad - literally think Achievement Hunter should play this every day forever. But they won't. Because they're stupid idiots. We're never getting another Pixelmon ever again. We're never going to see Michael's Charmeleon evolve. We're never going to see him fly around on Charizard, because Achievement Hunter is dumb and they're going to abandon Pixelmon forever. And what about Gavin's tiny Squirtle. Never going to see that again either. Fuckin' idiots."
Achievement Hunter winds down Fan Appreciation Week by playing more of the Pixelmon mod in Minecraft. More battles! More evolutions. More catching Pokemon. More Matt being a horrible trainer to his Kippers. And yes - more tiny Squirtle.
The Achievement Hunter gang returns to the Minecraft Battle Mode Minigame to compete for the coveted Tower of Pimps. You remember the Tower of Pimps, right? That golden block-y thingy that is the token of ultimate Achievement Hunter victory? That's today's prize! The combatants will use their potions, sticks, and flaming swords to kill each other round by round, hoping to achieve victory. That, or they'll be horribly murdered and turned into squeaky-ass bats. And maybe - just maybe - they'll learn about the "take all" button.
The Achievement Hunter Pokeboys continue their epic quest to become the greatest six trainers that ever were in Minecraft's Pixelmon mod. This week, make that seven trainers. A fresh new Pokemon trainer steps forward, ready to prove he has the balls necessary to become a Pokemon master too. Geoff Ramsey and his teeny little Piplup are ready to kick ass...sometimes. Occasionally. They're also ready to get their asses kicked repeatedly.
The Achievement Hunter crew is back to continue their quest of becoming the greatest Pokemon masters in all of AHto. This week, our heroes actually attempt to build the trading machine that they only pretended to try building last week. Meanwhile, Gavin contemplates the fine art of penis sucking, and Geoff decides to see if there is a drunken master style of Pokemon training.
The Achievement Hunter boys put on some festive outfits and check out Minecraft's new Chinese Mythology Mash-Up pack. Today, they're checking out all the great Chinese myths: dragons, monkey boys, Mulan, pandas, The Great Wall of China, Bruce Lee, more dragon, Panda Express, and global warming.
The Achievement Hunter crew is taking a trip over to downtown Achievement City (where the grass is green and the girls are pretty) to compete in the deadliest competition in all of Minecraft - the Darwin Awards! The competition is as fierce as ever, since this time each death message only counts for the person who received it first. At the end of the hour, only one man will win the coveted Tower of Pimps...hopefully before all of Achievement City is completely destroyed.
The Halloween spooky times have invaded Minecraft. Ghosts, vampires, and creepy clowns are roaming around in droves. That means it's the perfect time for the Achievement Hunter crew to take a trip out to the woods!
Rumor has it that there's a pretty sweet coloring book to be found among the trees, needing to be collected piece by piece. Only one problem - the Slender Man is ready to kill anyone trying to nab his pages! Spooky spooky spooky
In accordance with Achievement Hunter tradition, ten episodes have passed since the last part of everyone's favorite dice-rolling, house-buying orgy - Monopoly! That means it's time to return to The Nether to roll more dice and buy more houses. Watch the boys get into some shady wheelings and dealings - and hopefully stay out of the hoosegow in the process.
Matt Bragg fucking loves playing The Floor is Lava. Can't get enough of it. He's constantly creeping around the office, hopping on couches and shimmying across shelves. Since nobody else in the office was willing to play along, Matt went into Minecraft and made sure they had to. Now all of Achievement City is filled with lava. Nowhere is safe. Everything is burning. And Matt - Matt is very very happy.
The World is Still Lava. Where once a Michael was gone, now a Michael is here. But how did that happen? Maybe maybe a little something like this.
Michael was comfy-cozy in the seat of his plane. He was returning from Minecraft-Australia and coming back to his favorite home, Achievement City. He peered out the window to take a look at the majestic Achievement Countryside.
Except everything was on fire.
"Holy shit! That's nuts! What the fuck happened when I was gone? Look! There's Geoff. And Jack. There's Ryan. And Gavvy and Little J! They're just running around like assholes. I want to run around like an asshole!"
Michael jumped out of his seat and straight out of the plane. He fell down towards Achievement City. Down down down. He slammed into the ground and died. But since it's Minecraft, he respawned.
"Alright bitches. What are we doing?"
It's mine. It's craft. It's Minecraft. Achievement City is still deeply on fire. The boys are still looking for colored banners because winning a tower is certainly worth the risk of drowning in the burning flames. Can they find it without calling Matt for help? You bet your ass they can't.
Did you know there's mansions in Minecraft? We didn't, but there totally are! Join Geoff, Jack, Ryan, Gavin, Michael, and Jeremy on a journey across land and sea. Somewhere deep within the spooky forest is a dope-ass mansion. Maybe it's even Notch mansion. We won't know until we get there.
The Achievement Hunter boys (and a whole parade of llamas) are ready to keep exploring through Minecraft's appropriately-named Exploration Update. They're got a Woodland Mansion to find and a little llama bukkake to perform.
It's time for the annual Achievement Hunter Minecraft tradition. The boys are grabbing their fishing poles and heading out to the Lake of Pimps - at least a week late, of course. We're so far into December this time that the lake has frozen over. Now Geoff, Jack, Ryan, Michael, Jeremy, and Gavin are facing the icy waters in order to catch as many frozen fishies as possible. There's fishing. There's a rodeo. Lots of jamboree. Must be the Achievement Hunter Fishing Rodeo and Jamboree!
Heeeeee he he he he he he he
Ol' Grunty here - what's up you jerks?
This special treat's my greatest work
I took that peak with all its freezy
(To make the Bear and Bird uneasy)
And brought it here to blocky land
Where your head and feet and hand
Are lacking round - completely square
Even my witchy underwear
The task remains yet still the same
To be the winner of this game
Go around and find the jiggies
If you can, you stupid piggies
Whoever finds all ten will win
A golden tower - so let's begin!
Ryan, can you fast forward me a video? Ryan, can you fast forward me an ocean monument? Ryan, can you fast forward me a bucket of milk? Ryan, can you fast forward me several carrots in varying sizes? Ryan, can you fast forward me sponges? Ryan, can you fast forward me stacks of TNT? Ryan, can you fast forward me an ending? Ryan, can you fast forward me a portal to The End? Ryan, can you fast forward me a diamond sword? Ryan, can you fast forward me a mariachi band and a small dog in a poncho? Ryan, can you fast forward me a second Ryan so you can work together to fast forward me stuff faster? Ryan, can you fast forward me a cure for sticky keys? Ryan?
