Andy

2 followers

Philadelphia
21

The Suicide Squad

Beautifully made. Coherent and comedic unlike its predecessor. Wasn’t familiar with most of the characters but loved them nonetheless! Harley’s plot development was unexpected yet smooth. :) Epic movie. Polka Dot Man deserved better though. </3

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Promising Young Woman

The movie everyone should be forced to watch. Not just men for the obvious reasons, but women because everyone needs a reminder of how even the “nicest guys” can be absolute pieces of shit. There is not a single thing about this movie I would critique. It is perfect.

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The Age of Adaline

two hours of my life i will never get back but blake lively is hot i guess

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Fresh
My Own Private Idaho

Truly a masterpiece. The kind of film that seems like it should bore you or feel slow but doesn’t. Perfectly captures the feelings of yearning and helplessness in life.

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My Best Friend's Wedding

It is so satisfying to see the typical rom-com heroine try to break up a marriage and utterly fail and be embarrassed as hell. a good life lesson for people who can’t tell the difference between real life and fiction.

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Teeth

I went into it expecting a comedy but it’s nothing of the sort. This could’ve been a great female revenge movie if it was made a little better.

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The Kissing Booth

so so so so bad. legitimately horrible.

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Closer

would’ve been better if the two guys and two girls ended up together </3 but thanks for creating the titles of two awesome panic! at the disco songs

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Dirty Dancing

overrated and boring, makes no sense.

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Funny Ha Ha

Was very shocked to find out this wasn’t a female-directed/written project. Very in tune with the realities of post-school early adult life. Despite being now two decades old it feels just as relatable as I’m sure it must have been when it came out.

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Scary Movie 5

Cheap potty humor. Shocked to learn this movie is only 86 minutes because when I watched it I wanted to tear my eyeballs out waiting for it to be over.

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Swiss Army Man

Confusing and weird and I loved it. I basically just spent the entire second and third act crying but I still loved this movie.

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Sky High

i watched a video essay that said this movie was eugenics propaganda lol

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Daddy's Home 2

The first movie was mediocre enough but of course they had to cash in by making a Christmas-themed sequel. Horrible piece of shit movie you couldn’t pay me to watch it again.

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Rocketman

Saw it in theaters twice and cried both times. Did what Bohemian Rhapsody failed to do and got far less praise. The covers by Taron Egerton are simply amazing and it’s a truly human film. Elton John I have so much respect for you.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark

I watched this at first when I was 8 years old. I was a major tomboy and 8 so I didn’t understand how problematic Indiana Jones was but he remains a big part of my growing up. His overt masculinity is probably what made me start questioning my gender and his sweaty bare-chested self is one of the few instances where I have been attracted to men. Spielberg made a great movie and it’s obviously outdated but basically Indiana Jones gives me gender envy. He is fucking cool I actually wanted to be an archaeologist because of him.

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The Wedding Planner

this movie would be good if anyone other than matthew mcoughnahay played the doctor guy. matthew you f:asterisk_symbol:cking suck.

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She's Out of My League

i usually hate movies like this but something about that little nerd in the lead role is so attractive to me and i did enjoy watching this.

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Rebel Without a Cause

More gay people should know about this movie and watch it. Jim and Plato were originally scripted to kiss this is canon gay material and should be as big in the LGBT community as Dead Poets Society is. James Dean is swag.

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Crocodile Dundee

my mom was obsessed with the australian guy i don’t see the appeal

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Flight of the Navigator

scared the shit out of me when i was a kid… i thought this was gonna happen to me and my little sister being older than me is like my worst nightmare…

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Citizen Kane

makes absolutely no sense. anyone who says they understand it is lying.

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The Blind Side

absolute dogshit. yt savior complex BS.

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My Beautiful Laundrette

Not often do you see lgbt poc representation so the fact that this was actually made in 1985 (i thought it was from the early 2000s set in the 80s for some reason) is shocking, same with the fact that there’s little to no gay trauma shown (a good thing because even today lots of films explicitly show queer hate crimes in a way that can retraumatize queer people). Overall I liked it.

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Junior

Unfortunately this was not a fever dream apparently.

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The Great Gatsby

The CGI is so overdone that it’s dizzying… it distracts and takes away from the whole movie, everything looks rubbery and fake. Sometimes it’s best to stick to crappy non-computer-generated effects. Especially in movies where it is in no way necessary. If Jurassic Park can do it I’m pretty sure this could’ve.

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Lady Bird

May just be my personal tastes but it was overrated. Basically two hours of a girl fighting with her mom. Why does she make people call her “Ladybird”? Is there a reason? Everything about this movie feels fake and disingenuous.

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Happiest Season

Kristen Stewart had way more chemistry with Aubrey Plaza than she did her fiancée but whatever.

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Safety Not Guaranteed

The most bizarre thing I’ve ever watched. Only bothered sitting through the whole thing because of Aubrey and Jake and because I was super high but it was crazy boring and pointless.

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