Andy

2 followers

Philadelphia
21

Citizen Kane

makes absolutely no sense. anyone who says they understand it is lying.

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The Blind Side

absolute dogshit. yt savior complex BS.

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Fresh
Funny Ha Ha

Was very shocked to find out this wasn’t a female-directed/written project. Very in tune with the realities of post-school early adult life. Despite being now two decades old it feels just as relatable as I’m sure it must have been when it came out.

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Scary Movie 5

Cheap potty humor. Shocked to learn this movie is only 86 minutes because when I watched it I wanted to tear my eyeballs out waiting for it to be over.

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My Beautiful Laundrette

Not often do you see lgbt poc representation so the fact that this was actually made in 1985 (i thought it was from the early 2000s set in the 80s for some reason) is shocking, same with the fact that there’s little to no gay trauma shown (a good thing because even today lots of films explicitly show queer hate crimes in a way that can retraumatize queer people). Overall I liked it.

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Swiss Army Man

Confusing and weird and I loved it. I basically just spent the entire second and third act crying but I still loved this movie.

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Sky High

i watched a video essay that said this movie was eugenics propaganda lol

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Junior

Unfortunately this was not a fever dream apparently.

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Teeth

I went into it expecting a comedy but it’s nothing of the sort. This could’ve been a great female revenge movie if it was made a little better.

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The Great Gatsby

The CGI is so overdone that it’s dizzying… it distracts and takes away from the whole movie, everything looks rubbery and fake. Sometimes it’s best to stick to crappy non-computer-generated effects. Especially in movies where it is in no way necessary. If Jurassic Park can do it I’m pretty sure this could’ve.

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Lady Bird

May just be my personal tastes but it was overrated. Basically two hours of a girl fighting with her mom. Why does she make people call her “Ladybird”? Is there a reason? Everything about this movie feels fake and disingenuous.

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Happiest Season

Kristen Stewart had way more chemistry with Aubrey Plaza than she did her fiancée but whatever.

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Safety Not Guaranteed

The most bizarre thing I’ve ever watched. Only bothered sitting through the whole thing because of Aubrey and Jake and because I was super high but it was crazy boring and pointless.

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Daddy's Home 2

The first movie was mediocre enough but of course they had to cash in by making a Christmas-themed sequel. Horrible piece of shit movie you couldn’t pay me to watch it again.

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The Sixth Sense

Boring, predictable, and the opposite of impactful. Shyamalan was given way too much credit for this movie and now he continues to make shit movies like Split and Old.

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Batman: The Killing Joke
3

Shout by Andy
BlockedParentSpoilers2021-08-08T16:45:48Z

A lot of the screentime is irrelevant to the plot and just downright uncharacteristic of the characters :asterisk_symbol:cough:asterisk_symbol: Barbara and Bruce going at it :asterisk_symbol:cough:asterisk_symbol:. Everything in the story regarding Batgirl makes it painfully obvious it was written by a man, she has almost no personality outside of being batman’s sidekick and the commissioner’s daughter. Joker’s backstory is somewhat uninspired and it just didn’t feel right.

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The Suicide Squad

Beautifully made. Coherent and comedic unlike its predecessor. Wasn’t familiar with most of the characters but loved them nonetheless! Harley’s plot development was unexpected yet smooth. :) Epic movie. Polka Dot Man deserved better though. </3

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Hamilton

Would genuinely rather die than ever be subjected to this abomination in my lifetime. Never seen it and never will see it. Garbage.

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Batman & Robin

Gets too much hate from fun-hating comic book nerds who live in their mom’s basement! This movie may have been made to sell action figures but it’s still good in a campy way. It’s fun to watch and this being one of my first introductions to Batman growing up, I just thought it was super cool to see the villains on screen. Uma and Arnold do a wonderful job portraying Ivy and Freeze. Batman is portrayed many ways, you can like the video games and comics and still appreciate the cheesiness of this film.

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Promising Young Woman

The movie everyone should be forced to watch. Not just men for the obvious reasons, but women because everyone needs a reminder of how even the “nicest guys” can be absolute pieces of shit. There is not a single thing about this movie I would critique. It is perfect.

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My Own Private Idaho

Truly a masterpiece. The kind of film that seems like it should bore you or feel slow but doesn’t. Perfectly captures the feelings of yearning and helplessness in life.

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Rocketman

Saw it in theaters twice and cried both times. Did what Bohemian Rhapsody failed to do and got far less praise. The covers by Taron Egerton are simply amazing and it’s a truly human film. Elton John I have so much respect for you.

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Dallas Buyers Club

Putting two piece of shit cishet men in a movie about a disease that affected mostly gay people is a stupid ass move. AIDS was ignored for years because it was wiping out the gay community but of course let’s make a movie about how it affected some asshole straight man.

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Raiders of the Lost Ark

I watched this at first when I was 8 years old. I was a major tomboy and 8 so I didn’t understand how problematic Indiana Jones was but he remains a big part of my growing up. His overt masculinity is probably what made me start questioning my gender and his sweaty bare-chested self is one of the few instances where I have been attracted to men. Spielberg made a great movie and it’s obviously outdated but basically Indiana Jones gives me gender envy. He is fucking cool I actually wanted to be an archaeologist because of him.

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Joker

this happened to my buddy eric.

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Blockers

pretty swag. exactly what i wanted going into the theaters. and more!! one of the first comedies i’ve seen with actually good lesbian representation that isn’t at anyone’s expense! totally weird that one of the dads was invisible though.

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Sierra Burgess Is a Loser

terrible dumpster fire of a movie.

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The Kissing Booth

so so so so bad. legitimately horrible.

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The Wedding Planner

this movie would be good if anyone other than matthew mcoughnahay played the doctor guy. matthew you f:asterisk_symbol:cking suck.

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