Dann Michalski

24 followers

Toledo, Ohio
46

K-PAX

Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges lead the cast in the psychological drama K-PAX. The story follows a psychiatric patient named Prot who believes that he’s an alien from the planet K-PAX, and despite his psychiatrist’s best efforts Prot proves to be remarkably convincing. Both Spacey and Bridges deliver excellent performances and have great chemistry together. And, the film does an especially good job at keeping the story ambiguous, allowing for several different interpretations. Additionally, the score’s mystical and surreal tones complements the material extraordinarily well. Full of mystery and intrigue, K-PAX is a smart and compelling film.

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Not Another Teen Movie

Hysterically funny, Not Another Teen Movie is a brilliant sendup of the teen genre. Parodying She’s All That, American Pie, Cruel Intentions, Jawbreaker, Pretty in Pink, Bring It On, and many, many others, the film does a great job at covering the major hits of the ‘80s and ‘90s. And the satire is incredibly well-done, and uses the clichés and stereotypes of the genre in fun, clever ways. Starring Chyler Leigh, Chris Evans, Jaime Pressly, Mia Kirshner, Lacey Chabert, and Eric Christian Olsen, the casting is especially good, and they do an excellent job at playing to the character archetypes of teen films. Yet while the comedy’s broad enough to work for a general audience, to really appreciate Not Another Teen Movie and what it’s doing you have to know the material it’s spoofing.

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The Batman

Matt Reeves explores the detective side of Batman in DC’s latest relaunch of the franchise, The Batman. Batman finds himself drawn into a serial killer case when the killer leaves riddles addressed to him at the crime scenes. Starring Robert Pattinson, Jeffrey Wright, Zoë Kravitz, Colin Farrell, and Andy Serkis, the film has a strong cast; though Pattinson isn’t a particularly compelling Batman. And neither is the story for that matter. In fact, it’s needlessly convoluted. Also, the film’s near 3-hour length and slow pacing doesn’t help either. However, the fight scenes and chases are intense and exciting, and there are some interesting changes to the Batman mythology. Additionally, the score by Michael Giacchino is quite good, and helps to set a dark, noir-ish tone. The Batman is one of the weaker takes on the DC property, but is still entertaining.

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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Kevin McCallister turns into Damien in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. No longer content with stirring-up mischief at home, Kevin goes to New York City to terrorize a 5 star hotel; and when that doesn’t satisfy him, he tracks down the Wet Bandits and flat out attempts to murder them. The film tries to pass off the same shtick in a new setting, but it doesn’t work. All of the innocence and charm that the first film had is gone now that Kevin is seeking out trouble, and he appears not to have learned any lessons from losing his family the first time. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York is violent, humorless schlock tied in a bow.

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Ghost Ship

Ghost Ship is an exciting supernatural thriller that delivers some frightening chills. The story follows the crew of a salvage vessel that discovers a derelict passenger liner that went missing in 1962, however it turns out not to be as deserted as they thought when they start seeing the ghosts of dead passengers. Starring Julianna Margulies, Gabriel Byrne, Desmond Harrington, and Emily Browning, the film features a strong cast. And, the set designs and special effects are pretty good; creating a haunting and foreboding tone. The music too is used quite well, particularly during the action beats and the dramatic climax. Still, the plot can be rather formulaic and even a bit confusing at times. Yet despite its problems, Ghost Ship is a captivating horror film that’s full of mystery and intrigue.

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9/11

A poorly made and rather mundane 9/11 film, 9/11 has no real story to tell or insight into the events of that day. Based on a play, the film follows five people who get trapped in an elevator in the World Trade Center during the September 11th attacks. There’s no actual plot, the characters just talk a bit about inane things and make a couple attempts at getting out of the elevator. The characters aren’t fleshed out at all, and the director doesn’t do a very good job at creating tension or a sense of claustrophobia. In fact, most of the sets look pretty cheap and all the September 11th footage is shown by zooming in on a television. Still, there are a few emotional moments, just given the nature of the material. Yet 9/11 is uninspired and has no passion.

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It's a Wonderful Knife

A crazy mess, It’s a Wonderful Knife is nonsensical garbage. After getting a college rejection letter and discovering that her boyfriend is cheating on her, Winnie Carruthers wishes that she was never born and finds herself in world where her town is being terrorized by a serial killer that she had killed the year before. Jane Widdop gives a fairly good performance as the lead, but the rest of the cast is pretty bad. And the plot is convoluted as all get-out; making less and less sense as it goes on. But worst of all, the killer isn’t at all scary and has no sense of menace, and the kill scenes are rather lame and perfunctory. It’s a Wonderful Knife has an interesting premise, but it doesn’t know what to do with it.

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Spaceballs

Spaceballs: The Movie Review. Spaceballs is a clever and hilarious parody film whose humor holds up extraordinarily well. When Princess Vespa is kidnaped by Spaceballs hoping to coerce her father into giving up his planet’s air supply he hires a mercenary named Lone Starr to save her. John Candy, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, and Mel Brooks lead an outstanding cast that delivers pure comedic gold. Everything from Alien to The Wizard of Oz is spoofed; though the main focus is on sci-fi films (Star Wars, Star Trek, Planet of the Apes). And, most of it’s done in a smart, organic way that doesn’t disrupt the flow of the main story. But what really makes the film work is the way that it breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to the audience, referencing itself; such as the running gag about merchandising (“Spaceballs: The Lunchbox, Spaceballs: The Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs: The Flamethrower”). Brilliant! Delivering a hilarious adventure at ludicrous speed, Spaceballs is incredibly fun and full of laughs. May the Schwartz be with you!

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A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby

Clichéd and trite, A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby takes the series to new lows. When Aldovia hosts the king and queen of Penglia to renew the peace treaty between their two nations the treaty goes missing, threatening to plunge them back into a state of war; and according to lore, will also put a curse on Queen Amber’s unborn child. It’s a plot fit for a bad soap opera, and the acting is too. Also, the sets and costumes give the film a cheap, low-rent look and feel. A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby is a terrible film that has completely lost whatever charm the original had.

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Christmas with the Kranks

From Chris Columbus comes the family holiday film Christmas with the Kranks. Based on a John Grisham novel, when their daughter goes off on a Peace Corps mission for the holidays the Kanks decide to skip Christmas in order to go on a Caribbean cruise; but the neighborhood doesn’t take kindly to the Kranks’ abstaining from the community’s Christmas festivities. Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Dan Aykroyd form a solid cast, however their performances are lackluster. Additionally, the comedy is too broad and gets a bit bizarre at times. The tone of the film is also off, as if the filmmakers don’t have a clear message to tell. Christmas with the Kranks is a messy and uneven film that doesn’t have much holiday cheer to it.

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The Deer Hunter

The Deer Hunter is an iconic ‘70s film that has not aged well. The story follows a group of friends as they go off to the Vietnam War and how it affects them. Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, and John Savage form a powerful cast, but their performances feel a bit forced. The storytelling is particularly weak and unfocused; spending far too much time establishing characters and far too little time developing them. Yet, The Deer Hunter has its moments and tries (though somewhat inadequately) to say something important about the effects of war.

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The Passion of the Christ

Mel Gibson delivers a raw and uncompromising vision of the Crucifixion in The Passion of the Christ that takes it out of mythology and makes it an experience that cannot be forgotten. The film forces the audience to go through the suffering and death of Jesus of Nazareth on a visceral level unlike anything that has been done before. It’s extraordinarily emotionally draining, drawing the audience in so as to feel every whiplash and every nail of the cross. The imagery is haunting and is assisted by the use of the Aramaic language to create a completely immersive experience that transcends film. The Passion of the Christ isn’t entertainment, not by any stretch of the imagination, but instead acts as a Rorschach test that challenges the audience.

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Toy Story

Toy Story is a masterpiece, and one of those few films that changed the medium forever. It was the first fully computer animated film, and took CGI to a whole new level. But more than that, it created a whole new way of storytelling that could appeal to both children and adults. With a powerhouse cast that included Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Jim Varney, and Wallace Shawn, it’s clear that Pixar took the film seriously and wanted quality performers to bring the animation to life; and they did. Toy Story is a creative and imaginative film that elevated filmmaking to a new level.

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Creepshow 3

Is this even a movie? Creepshow III plays like a bad fan film shot at some guy’s house for a couple hundred bucks. There’s no real acting, the production values are shit, and the stories don’t make any sense. A complete travesty, this garbage has no business being part of the Creepshow series.

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Equilibrium

Equilibrium is a smart and well-crafted science fiction thriller. In a dystopian future where emotion is outlawed and suppressed by the State a cleric charged with rooting out dissidents begins to experience emotion and has a crisis of conscience. The story deals with interesting questions about what makes a person alive and the purpose of the law. Featuring Christian Bale, Emily Watson, and Taye Diggs, the casting is quite good and delivers strong performances. Additionally, the choreography for the fight sequences is outstanding, and adds a lot of excitement and energy to the film. Still, there are some formulaic and stereotypical parts that detract a bit. Yet while it has its flaws, Equilibrium is a powerful and thrilling science fiction adventure.

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall

From Judd Apatow and Jason Segel comes the outrageously hilarious comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The story follows Peter Bretter who goes on a Hawaiian vacation in an attempt to get over his break up with famed television star Sarah Marshall only to find that she’s also vacationing there with her new boyfriend. The cast is especially good and includes Jason Segel, Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis, and Russell Brand, who all deliver excellent performances. Additionally, the writing is well-done and feels genuine; partially because of how raw and savagely honest the humor is, which really works for the film. However, the directing is a bit weak and not all of the humor works. But despite a few rough edges, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a wickedly fun romantic comedy that goes all out.

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Rocky Balboa

Rocky Balboa is a wonderful conclusion to one of the greatest film sagas in American cinema. Writer/director Sylvester Stallone takes the series back to its roots, crafting a great story about the triumph of the human spirit. Experiencing difficulties with accepting retirement and the passing of his wife, Adrian, Rocky returns to the ring for an exhibition match against the current world heavyweight champion in an attempt to go the distance one last time. This final chapter returns the series to a character drama that focuses on Rocky’s struggles and his personal journey. Rocky Balboa is a lovely epilogue to the Rocky saga, and gives the character a fitting and uplifting sent off that’s truly inspirational.

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Corpse Bride

Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride is a morbidly whimsical animated film with a unique visual style. The story follows a reluctant groom who’s arranged to be married, but is whisked away to the underworld by the Corpse Bride; a young woman who was murdered while eloping and continued to look for a groom throughout her afterlife. The plot’s rather weak and doesn’t have a clear focus or fully developed characters. However, the performances by Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Emily Watson are fairly good. And, the stop-motion animation is quite impressive, and is full of interesting character designs. Danny Elfman’s score is also especially well-done, though the songs are rather mediocre and unmemorable. A dark and surreal comedy, Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride is entertaining but ends up being more style than substance.

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Tomorrow Never Dies

Tomorrow Never Dies delivers one of the most explosive and action packed Bond adventures. A media mogul attempts to push Britain and China into a world war, and it's up to James Bond to uncover the plot and save the day. Pierce Brosnan is in top form and takes Bond to the next level. Additionally, the Bond girls, Michelle Yeoh and Teri Hatcher, give strong, engaging performances that really work well. But the villain is weak, and a bit too cartoonish (even for Bond). However, the action sequences are some of the best choreographed of the series. From start to finish Tomorrow Never Dies is a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat adventure.

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Pulp Fiction

From writer/director Quentin Tarantino comes the cult classic Pulp Fiction. The film tells an anthology of interconnected stories surrounding an LA gangster. John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, and Ving Rhames make up an all-star cast who all give excellent performances. And, Tarantino does a brilliant job using nonlinear storytelling, and writing clever, witty dialog. However, the stories go to some bizarre places and often lingers a bit too long on minutiae. Even though it has a few drawbacks, Pulp Fiction is an immensely entertaining and fascinating film.

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Escape Room: Tournament of Champions

The games continue in Escape Room: Tournament of Champions. Six survivors of previous Minos escape room games are brought together for another series of deadly games. Unfortunately none of the new characters seem like champions, never displaying the intelligence or skill of a gamesman. Nor do the games themselves seem all that clever or inventive. Although, some of this could be explained by the final reveal. Nevertheless, there’s still a fair amount of intrigue to the games and a couple of exciting action sequences. Plot issues aside, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions is a fairly entertaining film that delivers some good thrills.

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The Star Wars Holiday Special

Happy Life Day. Worse than you could ever imagine, The Star Wars Holiday Special lives up to its reputation. Unbearable to watch, it’s just amazing how atrocious Star Wars can be in the wrong hands.

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Resident Evil: Retribution

Resident Evil: Retribution is an atrociously awful piece of garbage that even zombies would find unwatchable. There really is no plot to speak of; instead it plays out as a first-person shooter video game. And the acting is god-awful...in facts it’s even worse than that. The series is completely bereft of ideas, and is running completely on empty. Offensive in how little effort it puts forth, there’s nothing engaging or thrilling about the action or the characters in Resident Evil: Retribution.

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Paradise Hills
4

Shout by Dann Michalski
BlockedParent2020-11-12T16:00:13Z— updated 2021-04-19T14:36:18Z

A bizarre mystery thriller (maybe?), Paradise Hills is an incoherent mess. The story follows a group of young women who are sent to a therapy resort but soon become suspicious of the “therapy” and begin to plan an escape. Featuring Emma Roberts, Eiza González, and Milla Jovovich, the cast isn’t too bad; though their performances are a bit wanting. And the plot is hard to follow, setting itself in a dystopian future or alternate reality, mixing sci-fi and fantasy. Still, the set and costume designs are rather interesting and makes for a number of visually stunning scenes. Somewhere in all of this there’s a message about conformity and power structures, but it’s muddled. Paradise Hills is just a poorly made film that puts too much emphasis on artistic style and not enough on storytelling.

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Fun with Dick and Jane

Fun with Dick and Jane is a subpar comedy that tries to be clever but falls flat. After getting promoted to Vice President and setup as the fall guy for his company’s imminent collapse, Dick Harper finds himself unemployable and resorts to a life of crime, along with his wife, to stop from losing their house. Starring Jim Carrey, Téa Leoni, Alec Baldwin, and Richard Jenkins, the film has a strong cast, but their performances are pretty weak (particularly Carrey who plays up the slap-stick to the extreme). However the script doesn’t help any, as the characters are all written as broad caricatures and the political commentary couldn’t be more heavy-handed. Still, some of the jokes work and the soundtrack does a good job at complimenting the tone of the film. Yet while it has its entertaining moments, Fun with Dick and Jane is a convoluted mess.

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The Secret Life of Pets 2

Max is off to the country in The Secret Life of Pets 2, a fun animated family film. When Max’s owner and her husband go to visit their uncle’s farm Max meets a sheepdog named Rooster who shows him the ropes of farm life; meanwhile Gidget loses Max’s favorite toy and has to infiltrate an apartment full of cats to get it back. Featuring the voice talents of Patton Oswalt, Harrison Ford, Kevin Hart, Dana Carvey, Ellie Kemper, and Jenny Slate, the film has a solid cast that delivers great performances. And the animation is especially good; with bright, crisp colors. Also, the humor is incredibly funny and does a great job at satirizing the eccentricities of pets and the human-pet relationship. Clever and entertaining, The Secret Life of Pets 2 is a comedy that all ages can enjoy.

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K-19: The Widowmaker

Based on actual events, K-19: The Widowmaker is an intense and suspenseful military thriller. The story follows the maiden voyage of a Soviet nuclear submarine, but during its sea trials it suffers a critical reactor failure. Starring Harrison Ford, Liam Neeson, and Peter Sarsgaard, the film has a solid cast. And, director Kathryn Bigelow does an impressive job at building tension and giving a visceral feel to submarine life. Additionally, composer Klaus Badelt delivers an extraordinary score that brilliantly compliments the film. Remarkably well-crafted, K-19: The Widowmaker is a compelling drama about a fascinating piece of history.

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Bushwick

Bushwick is a gritty and intense apocalyptic thriller. A college girl who’s coming home to see her grandmother teams up with a stranger in order to navigate the streets of Brooklyn when civil war breaks out and a paramilitary group attempts to seize control of the city. Brittney Snow and Dave Bautista both give fairly strong performances, however, the writing is a little weak; the plot in particular is rather hard to follow at times. Still, the fights and chases are suspenseful and exciting, and are heightened by the atmospheric directing style. It’s a little underdeveloped, but overall Bushwick is a solid action film.

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Leprechaun: Origins

What the F*CK was that! The WWE royally screws up the Leprechaun series with the reboot Leprechaun: Origins. Going for a creature feature vibe, the Leprechaun is re-envisioned as a primordial animal that feeds off of human flesh. The plot involves a group of college students who are sent off the beaten path by a local miner to see some ancient Celtic ruins, but it turns out to be a trap intent on sacrificing them to a leprechaun. It's an incredibly generic storyline, and is full of all the usual horror movie cliches. Plus, the characters really aren't that interesting, and neither is the Leprechaun. Leprechaun: Origins is just senseless violence and gore without much suspense ('cause it's very predictable).

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Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Incredibly touching and powerful, Won’t You Be My Neighbor? is a wonderful documentary about children’s performer Fred Rogers. The film looks at how a young aspiring minister named Fred Rogers got into the burgeoning industry of children’s television and created one of the most influential programs of his day. Friends, family, cast members, and industry experts discuss Roger’s unique approach to educating and entertaining children and the positive messaging of his work (emphasizing each child’s specialness and self-worth). Also discussed are his bold attempts to address and relieve the tensions and anxieties that children had about political events happening around them, including the Vietnam War, racial tensions, and 9/11, in terms that they would understand. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? is a loving testament to the work and legacy of Mr. Rogers.

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