Jordy
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The Netherlands

Kong: Skull Island

It's mediocre, yet also really entertaining sometimes. In that regard, the closest comparison to this is Jurassic World.

Pros:
- Visuals and cinematography.
- Conflict within the group of characters.
- The characters of John C. Reily and Toby Kebbell (although underused)
- Action, particularly the climax.
- The editing stands out a few times.
- Nicely paced.

Cons:
- Too many characters, meaning you won't care about pretty much all of them. They also don't take their time to develop them, meaning that most of them come across as Fast and Furious cartoons.
- Some iffy CGI (not with Kong, but with the other creatures).
- Some minor moments that felt out of place or coincidental.
- Besides a few gags, all the humour falls flat.
- The second act drags a bit.
- Sometimes, the colour grading is overdone.

Grade: 5/10

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Bullet Train
The Gray Man
Don't Look Up
5

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BlockedParent2021-12-24T10:15:20Z— updated 2023-11-02T10:54:43Z

I feel like I’ve just been yelled at for 2 hours by Adam McKay. Yeah, it's on the nose and way too obvious, but still decently funny.

5.5/10

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Lightyear
5

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BlockedParent2022-06-21T21:48:38Z— updated 2023-09-17T12:45:37Z

Is it just me or is there some circlejerk going on at Disney where they keep using the same group of actors over and over again for their different brands? Just stop using Taika Waititi already.

The movie itself is pretty whatever.
It reminded me a lot of Onward; you could do a lot worse, but it probably won’t be remembered within the broader Pixar catalogue.
Not a lot of depth or subtext with this one, it’s a pretty straight forward adventure (which is also fine of course).
Some good animation (lots of visual ideas are being pulled from Star Wars), decent voice acting, fine characters, story’s alright.
It’s kinda inoffensive and doesn’t really warrant some of the extreme reactions it’s gotten.
The whole ‘woke’ label is baffling to me, it just seems like a smokescreen certain people use to cover up for their own homophobia, which only emphasizes how the word ‘woke’ carries little to no meaning nowadays.
Any regular person will be fine watching this, regardless of their political leaning.
Ffs, it’s mass entertainment after all.

5/10

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The Northman
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
Westworld: 2x03 Virtù e Fortuna

It’s honestly starting to feel like the seventh season of GoT.
Yes, the action is bigger and better than the previous season, but any of the fantastic writing with a mystical/mysterious/philosophical edge, that was present in the first season, has vanished.
It’s still good, of course, but this straight forward human vs robot continuation isn’t I was hoping for.

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Mortal Kombat

It’s not a movie.
It’s just another bland, soulless mass product that’s primarily aimed at the Chinese market.
Now that WB is the only real studio releasing big movies, it really shows what a joke of a studio they’ve become during the last 5 years.
Not that they didn’t release crap before that, but at least there was something like a good Mad Max, Harry Potter, Matrix or Lord of the Rings film somewhere to be found in their slate.
It would seem Villeneuve and Nolan are the only real talents that are left at the studio.
For nearly every other film they make, they seem to think that appealing to the lowest common denominator will give them the biggest return on their investment.
I.e. the action scenes are more important than the story or the characters, and the scale needs to be huge, even if it looks tacky and fake.

3/10

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Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Red Notice

The most corporate movie I’ve seen in a while.
2 hours of pure unadulterated cringe.
The funniest thing about it is the performance by Chris Diamantopoulous (the “this guy fucks” dude from Silicon Valley), whose acting kept reminding me of Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending.

3/10

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Loki: 1x06 For All Time. Always.

Jonathan Majors , love the dude, but that performance was godawful. He kinda reminded me of Jesse Eisenberg in Batman V Superman

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The Meg
2

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BlockedParent2018-08-10T12:36:24Z— updated 2023-08-02T16:43:43Z

The Meg.
Alternative title: Everything wrong with contemporary Hollywood in 2 hours.
Alternative title II: This one’s for you, China.
Just shut up, Meg.

2/10

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Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3
5

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BlockedParent2023-05-03T13:19:30Z— updated 2023-05-06T11:23:02Z

Despite not wanting to pull the trigger for a genuine emotional pay-off, this does have the most heart and emotion out of any Marvel movie throughout. I think people will be surprised by how dark and emo this gets, which is established straight from the opening credits. Unfortunately the rest of the movie is a bit of a mess. Adam Warlock and the villain are bland, the plot has a strong ‘we’re making it up as we go along’ feel to it, the tonal shifts and needle drops feel more jarring than cohesive and the action (despite a cool hallway fight) isn’t handled with the same care as the previous 2 (or The Suicide Squad). It’s probably the worst looking Guardians movie, however that incidentally still makes it the third best looking MCU movie. The characters and acting are the two main things that keep it watchable (especially Mantis, Drax and Nebula get a lot of time to shine here), but the entire picture feels unbalanced.

5/10

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The Creator
Ted Lasso: 3x12 So Long, Farewell

Wow, how the mighty have fallen. Was this season produced by the Hallmark channel? The schmaltzy music that plays in the background every other scene, the forced feel-good vibe, the corny jokes, the cringy musical interlude during this episode, that fucking Ed Sheeran montage…. it’s all so incredibly lame and cheap. Any of the sharp wit and quirk from the first two seasons has completely disappeared from the show. Instead this entire season felt like a bunch predictable, bland, sentimental nonsense made for the broadest of audiences.

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Venom
4

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BlockedParent2018-10-05T17:51:05Z— updated 2021-10-01T18:00:47Z

Tom Hardy, all by himself, almost makes this a good movie.
And, it's hilarious at times (which I believe was intentional, I think this movie is self-aware), way funnier than say Ant-Man and the Wasp.
There was just something about the banter between Eddie and Venom that worked extremely well.

But: the script is awful, the dialogue sucks, the production values are terrible, and anyone that isn't Tom Hardy comes from a much blander film.
So I cannot really recommend it, even though I kinda want to.

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Ford v Ferrari
8

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BlockedParent2019-11-15T22:27:38Z— updated 2022-02-13T21:28:48Z

This is one of those films that is just impossible to hate.
It’s such a well made crowdpleaser; from the acting, to the score, to the camerawork.
From the very first scene, you know you’re in the hands of a filmmaker who knows what he’s doing.
It’s long, but you don’t feel its length at all.
The predictability of the story is the only real issue.

7.5/10

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I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Normally, I like Charlie Kaufman, but this is him at his most pretentious.
Not that it’s all bad, I actually liked most of the first long scene in the car.
It’s the kind of scene that will make many casual viewers dismiss the film right away (due to its length), but I thought it set up both of our leads very well.
Then they arrive at the parents’ house, and my opinion on the film did a 180.
It does what every annoying art movie does (not saying all art movies are like that, I like a lot of them): everything starts to get weird for the sake of trying to be interesting, but without any artistic reasoning.
For example, the acting becomes a nonsensical mix of very grounded performances (our leads) on one side, and extremely heightened, cartoony perfomances on the other side (the parents).
Also, the cinematography is pedestrian at best, and I fail to see the reasoning behind the chosen aspect ratio (unlike films like The Lifghthouse or Mommy).
Just stick to writing, Charlie.

4/10

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M3GAN
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
5

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BlockedParent2021-11-18T12:06:54Z— updated 2021-11-30T19:10:21Z

A bit of a nothing burger, it doesn’t really get interesting until the final 20-30 minutes.
There are a few entertaining bits inbetween (e.g. there’s a fun scene with Paul Rudd in a Wallmart), but there’s not nearly enough going on.
It’s just mostly bland: some decent acting and directing, but there’s not a lot of action, mystery, charm, clever comedy, drama or characters to get invested into (besides McKenna Grace).
For example, Finn Wolfhard gets as much development as the older brother from Jurassic World, he’s a teen and he wants to get laid. That’s all you get, and it’s not that interesting.
There are, of course, a lot of ‘member berries, which add nothing besides empty nostalgia.
The original Ghostbusters leave the biggest impression with just 5 minutes of screentime, and they clearly didn’t even give a shit about being there.
It’s not the worst thing ever, but this falls short of the benchmark for this kind of movie.
Just watch the original, or anything directed by Spielberg and Cameron in the 80s/90s.

5/10

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Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Moonfall
House of Gucci
Hawkeye
Eternals
No Time to Die
Dark Phoenix
4

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BlockedParent2019-06-05T14:06:44Z— updated 2024-04-23T20:49:21Z

This is mostly stuck in second gear for the entire runtime, it’s very bland and poorly directed. Interestingly, despite having a different director at the helm a lot of the problems from X-Men Apocalypse carry over. There’s once again visible cheapness in the costumes and make-up, Lawrence phones it in, Sophie Turner can’t pull off what she’s asked to do and the story feels muddled. The new elements it adds on top of that don’t really work either, for example Jessica Chastain gives the most lifeless performance of her career as the villain of this film. Generally, it just looks and feels like a cheap tv show, Kinberg clearly wasn’t ready for this. Due to it’s smaller scale it never becomes as schlocky as the worst moments in Apocalypse, X-Men Origins Wolverine or The Last Stand, but this movie feels unambitious next to all of those films. I’d be fine with the approach if it had genuine good writing and interesting direction, but what’s being served here is not cerebral, emotional or exciting.

3.5/10

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Argylle
Elemental
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