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Private Notes
Sketches:
Spring: What a man likes about spring.
Comfortable: How comfortable are these couples?
Trucker #2: Truck Owner makes a phone call.
Hard Day: An undercover alien overreacts to innocent questions.
Off Swingin': One cool cat.
The Doctor: How far can you coast on just charm?
Bobby & The Devil: Bobby has a guitar fight with Satan.
Sketches:
Cops - O Canada: Our home and native land.
Trapper: The daily hunt begins.
Cabbage Head - Old Friends: Cabbage Head at it again.
It's Not Working Out #1: Chris is fired.
The Loner: ...And his toe.
It's Not Working Out #2: Chris is fired... again.
Simon & Hecubus: In the Pit of Ultimate Darkness.
It's Not Working Out #3: Chris is fired... one more time.
Girls Of Summer: Coach Buddy does it again.
Sketches:
Newscast - Paper Airplanes: The Channel 7 News Team
Sizzler & Sizzler: Sizzler sisters' lounge act.
Pageant: Kathie wins Miss Canadian
Tony & Nick: Two friends in the subway.
Newscast - Meech Lake: Channel 7 News Team, again.
A Little Something: Executive has cucumber salad on his face.
Phone: A phone rings incessantly!
Sketches:
Nutty Bunnies: Nutty bunnies frolic in a field.
Queer Nation: Buddy talks about who is gay.
Cops - Uniform: Proper Uniforms.
Excellent Dinner: Darryl on a Date.
Cops - Stance: The proper way.
The Parrot: A man with nagging wife and parrot.
Cops - Naked: Naked through the woods.
Customer: Man who wanted his bill five minutes ago.
On The Run: The Cops chase some escaped convicts.
Sketches:
The Jury: Bruce is charged in court with being an asshole.
Cops - Shootout: A standoff.
Prisoner: Buddy explains how he got put in prison.
Sizzler & The Bank: The Sizzlers try to rob a bank.
Cops - 211 In Progress: The cops in action.
Chicken Lady: The Chicken Lady gets a date.
Drugs Are Bad: Kevin reports hash dealers to the cops.
Cops - Prisoner: Locked keys in car.
Clean Sheets: Best things in life.
Justice: The trial of a lifetime.
Sketches:
Second Novel: "The Heavy Pen."
Baboon: Humanoids for Humanism help animals.
Hair Loss: A man loses his hair in a restaurant.
Conversation: The amicable breakup turns nasty.
Buddy - Wood Nymph: Buddy spots a wood nymph.
Anecdote Guy: Good night! I'm joking!
Groovy Teacher: Theo the cool teacher confides to his class.
Sketches:
Lady Is A Tramp #1: A man tries to befriend a whore.
Meet The Geralds: Gerald is in a slump
I'm English: Thinks everyone should speak English.
Lady Is A Tramp #2: Man proposes to the Lady.
Painting A Chair: Gavin pesters a guy painting a chair.
The Lack-O-Trust Blues: Philanderer sings a song in a western bar.
Lady Is A Tramp #3: Lady is a Tramp 30 years later.
Sketches:
I Can't Play The Piano: A horrible lounge act sing a song.
Democracy: A birth of a nation.
Tampa Bay: Gordon is fired.
Cops - Duck: A duck?
Freak: A man who bleeds at will!
Cops - Tony Baldwin: Real cops with fake cops.
Seminar Money Momentum!!!
Celebrity: A night with Tony Baldwin.
Liposuction: What a lovely song.
Sketches:
Cops - Dream: Bust the queen while drinking tea.
Crushing Hospital: Mr. Tyzik is injured and must undergo physical therapy.
Cops - Dad: Don't love my dad.
Daddy Drank: The story of how daddy drank.
The Leash #1: The slave and master on the street.
Cops - Shelley Long: Enough said.
Knocked Out: A guy knocks himself out.
The Leash #2: Shelly Long.
The Last Straw: Gavin pesters his mother while she's on the phone.
Parenting: Disillusioned parents hold a press conference.
Dead Dad: The Kids discuss beating up their fathers.
Sketches:
Guess Your Weight: Guy who can guess everything but weight. - Go For Guilt: Nena's first date with a guy. - Hustlers - Math Teachers: The message to the old math teachers. - Fag Basher: Leslie saves a guy from some delinquents.
Friendly Rivals: Worker who keeps a list of his office enemies. - Show Within A Show: The Scott Thompson show by Scott Thompson. - Mr. Hugula: A man in restaurant who can't remember who he is. - Housework Hustlers: Men whoring their maid service. - Chocolate: The girls have a get-together. - Eating In The Shower: Credits.
Sketches:
Fact #2: Beethoven's 5th
That's America: Bruce salutes America.
Prisoner's Jam: A politician judge at a jam-tasting contest.
Fact #3: Queen's ABC's
Cuttin' It Close #1: A guy who watches for tits on TV.
Secret Of Broadway: Girls backstage discuss the new play.
Cuttin' It Close #2: A guy who finally sees some tits on TV.
Hustlers - Richard Nixon: A message to Richard Nixon.
Mispronouncer: This is why some words are spelled FOU-NET-ICK-LY
Fact #3A: Red-headed Witches.
Dead Fish: Guys who hold their arms in a tank of dead fish.
Fact Girl & Queen: Credits.
Sketches:
Cops - Bubble Bath: Disturbing.
How I Sleep: Kevin shows us how he sleeps.
Old Friends: Woman talks about her husband's mistress.
Standing: "Stand in the New Style" hip-hop song.
Vegas: On a faraway planet, son asks his father about the place they call Vegas.
Carpenter: Proof that Jesus was a bad carpenter.
Cops - Daughter: She's so young.
Encounter: The support group for people that won't be tyrannized by their bladders.
Sketches:
Cops - Good Cop/Bad Cop: They're getting the hang of it.
Brad & The Phone: A guy calls for phone sex.
Fact #1: Uncle Tony.
Book, Bottle, Blonde: A story of a guy who writes children's books.
Cops - Money: Best thing about being a cop.
Shoes: Evan the intense shoe salesman.
Evil T: Maybe it's the letters?
Fact #5: Bigfoot Singing.
Heckler: Mississippi Gary is heckled.
Fact #4: Neighbors in love.
The Long Note: The Kids visit Bruce as he recovers from his suicide attempt.
Sketches:
Report: A man coughs up the report in a business meeting.
Gandar #1: An attempt at hypnosis.
M. Piedlourde Court Un Marathon: Speaks for itself.
Jazz Music: Bruce hates jazz.
Gandar #2: Hypnosis attempt continued.
Touch Bellini: Announcement of the contest winner.
The Affair: Story of the secret affair.
M. Piedlourde Essait L'Auto: Speaks for itself.
Queen To Queen: Buddy and the Queen's correspondence.
Sketches:
M. Piedlourde Donne Un Cuop De Pied An Ballon: Speaks for itself.
Scott's Not Gay: Panic!
First Time: Melanie has a date.
Bad News: He's kinda evil.
Poo Guy: Bruce is the Poo Guy
M. Piedlourde A Une Rende-Vous: Speaks for itself.
Victim: A guy who apparently wants to get beaten up.
Night Of The Cow: The story of the Night of the Cow.
M. Piedlourde Sur La Lune: Speaks for itself.
Sketches:
One Of These Five Men: Really?
Cincinnati Kid: The Cincinnati Kid looks for the Toronto Kid.
Career Ending #2: Leslie de Gaulle Trio -- anti-Communist folk singers.
Thirty Second Stories - Joe: Magnetic Joe.
No Words: A woman misinterprets an innocent request for the time.
Thirty Second Stories - Dump: Going to the zoo.
Career Ending #1: Woman thanks Hitler.
The Trip: A trip to the farm.
Wild Weekend: Cathy has a scandalous weekend.
Sketches:
Thousand Dollars: Song in a western bar.
Cops - Towing: Ticketing my car.
Decorator #1: A man gets a demon to brighten up his apartment.
Headcrusher - Rival: A battle to the death.
Shortest: They haven't got a clue.
Bellini Finale: Bellini gets touched.
Cops - Graveyard: First traffic ticket.
Governor: A governor talks with hooker.
Ham Of Truth: It's F-ing good ham.
Decorator #2: Credits
Sketches:
Clandestine Meeting #1: Humanoids for Humanism plan to kill Cabbage Head.
The Letter: A disturbing piece of mail.
Plungers: A man talks about a great plunger salesman.
Clandestine Meeting #2: Cabbage Head is shot!
Fact #7: Aliens
Mr. Pin: Pin waiting in grocery store line impatiently.
Liza's Party: Weston Esterhazy's Hollywood spoon-head movie.
Clandestine Meeting #3: Cabbage Head in Heaven.
Sketches:
The Cure: A man embarrasses his friend at a bar.
Secretaries - Logey: The office is exhausted.
Thirty Second Stories - Tess: Who Built Cars
Directions: A guy who speaks English meets a guy who claims to speak no English.
Excellent Guy - Big Brother: Darryl spends time with his "Little Brother."
Thirty Second Stories - Office Party: Shame!
Taxpayer: A bad sketch is a waste of taxpayer money.
Thirty Second Stories - Fries: The Stones concert.
Into The Doors: A man in record store thinks about getting a Doors album.
Sketches:
Lively Party: A group of people play charades.
Butcher Shop: Gavin prices meat in a butcher shop
Cops - Sexism: Is it real?
Who's To Blame: The boss looks for someone to blame!
Cops - Clouds: What do they look like?
Having Tea: Two destructive guys have a tea party.
Faux Pas:: A man makes inappropriate comments.
Cops - Partners: What happened to them.
Messages: He is the best.
Tube Top Of Justice: What a story.
Hazy Movie: A man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie.
Sketches:
Fact #1: Episode 213
Stars- Bruce
Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl
In short- Her uncle Tony can spit really far.
Headcrusher - Rival: Episode 217
Stars- Kevin, Mark
Recurring Characters- Mr. Tyzik aka "The Headcrusher"
In short- There can be only one.
Off Swingin': Episode 201
Stars- n/a
Recurring Characters- n/a
In Short- The most handsome man in the world.
Daddy Drank: Episode 209
Stars- Dave, Kevin
Recurring Characters- n/a
In Short- A story about how Daddy drank.
The Affair: Episode 214
Stars- Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott
Recurring Characters- Darrill
In short- Story of the secret affair.
Fact #2 - Queen's ABC's: Episode 211
Stars- Scott
Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl, Queen
In short- The Queen sings her ABCs.
The Doctor: Episode 201
Stars- Dave
Recurring Characters- Bad Doctor
In short- He's not boosting, he's just stating a fact.
A Little Something: Episode 203
Stars- Bruce, Scott
Recurring Characters- Don
In short- Executive has cucumber salad on face.
Fact #4 - Neighbors: Episode 213
Stars- n/a
Recurring Characters- It's a Fact Girl
In short- Her neighbors have been in love for forty-five years.
First Time: Episode 215
Stars- Kevin, Mark
Recurring Characters- Melanie
In short- Melanie has her date over in her parent's bedroom.
Girls Of Summer: Episode 202
Stars- Dave, Bruce, Kevin, Mark, Scott
Recurring Characters- Buddy Cole, Shona, Patty
In short- Buddy manages the Sappho Sluggers.
Sketches:
Cops - Prisoner: Episode 205
Stars- Bruce, Mark
Recurring Characters- Cops
In short- Suspect is locked in car.
Comfortable: Episode 201
Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott
Recurring Characters- Nina Spudkneeyak, Nina's husband
In short- Nina's husband makes a "pass" at his old friend's wife.
Trapper: Episode 202
Stars- Dave, Mark, Kevin, Scott
Recurring Characters- Francois, Jacques
In short- The French-Canadian trappers who trap businessmen for their suits.
Painting A Chair: Episode 207
Stars- Bruce, Mark
Recurring Characters- Gavin
In Short- There's this guy and he's paintin' a chair.
Cops - Shootout: 205
Stars- Bruce, Mark
Recurring Characters- Cops
In short- A standoff outside a house.
Chicken Lady: Episode 205
Stars- Dave, Mark, Scott
Recurring Characters- Chicken Lady
In short- Man answers her personal ad.
Simon & Hecubus: Episode 202
Stars- Dave, Kevin, Mark
Recurring Characters- Sir Simon Milligan, Hecubus, Satan
In short- Hecubus proves he is impolite and evil; Satan likes the show.
Cops - Dad: Episode 209
Stars- Bruce, Mark
Recurring Characters- Cops
In short- Never told his Dad he loved him.
Hazy Movie: Episode 220
Stars- Dave, Scott
Recurring Characters- Francesca Fiore, Bruno Puntz Jones
In Short- Man in a bar tries to explain a Francesca Fiore movie.
Eating In The Shower: Episode 210
Stars- Kevin
Recurring Characters- n/a
In short- Over the credits, Kevin eats in the shower.
