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I had to see it twice to confirm if I was crazy that I enjoyed this conventional safe corporate product. and to see Statham naked again, i ain't gay You all know what this is and what to expect from it. Just look at the poster and the title. The bar for quality has been set right there. But does that make experience inherently not worth bothering with? Would you be satisfied putting your money down for it? I can argue I got my money's worth, even if some of the blood and gore was neutered to reach a PG-13 and Chinese market. A shame uncut and more grotesque scenes were filmed, but will never be completed due to money. Despite it's lack of Piranha 3D ludicrous blood shed, there is a lot of action and spectacle to be had with The Meg. The plot is nothing more inventive than what The Asylum and syfy would greenlit, I've never read the novel, so I can't speak for the consistency. What bolsters the script up from it's depths of potential obscurity, is it's high budget crowd pleasing intuition. Lots of emphasis on quips, something I'm usually against, but luckily are implemented smoothly into each character. Not everyone is a damn comedian, it just feels more natural, only once did I feel the placement of a joke was unneeded. This is like what you'd expect from an old 70's exploitation flick, Statham is like the classic adventure hero; even one scene, he lifts his hat up like Indiana Jones. After a traumatizing incident in which he's forced to leave behind a group of people to save another set, he quits diving and retires to Thailand. But when an ocean trench expedition involving his ex-wife goes wrong, he's persuaded to come back in and help. The first half of the film is like Deep Blue Sea, setting up the locations in characters; it's more of a rescue set-up for the megalodon to come in later. It's not like the story of Gareth Edwards' Godzilla, how Godzilla's origins are deeply intertwined into the narrative. This, you could replace the shark with any deep sea creature, it doesn't matter too much, except for the finale. Once the titular monster comes on screen, the movie officially begins. From there, you get the dumb fun you want, and there's a good amount of it. Want to see the shark swallow a diving cage whole? Sure, why not? Anything you want to see the shark do, it's in here somewhere. It's like Rampage in the sense it understands you just want dumb fun. I can respect a blockbuster that doesn't aim for quality, just looking to give you loads of delicious flavorful eye candy. What makes something like this work over another "dumb fun" blockbuster like Pacific Rim: Uprising, comes down to two things: The Meg isn't a sequel with expectations to be lived up to, and there's a competent story, start to finish. While it's not original, could be to blame that the novel is old, it works enough. The characters make up for any tiny lack of shark presence. If we can get more Asian actors in front of the camera like this, by all means, go for it. I'm just a sucker for the Asian aesthetic, see, this whole movie takes place in China and stars one of the country's biggest stars, so you can see why it's doing so great at the box office. This is how you do a silly summer cheese fest, it's not too over the top, it understands you want to see the shark, it has a classic story behind it, and places emphasis on the leads being at least entertaining to latch onto. Did any of you notice the nod to Jaws at the end? When the Meg sinks to the bottom of the ocean, it makes the same growling sound the blown up shark in Jaws did. Trivial knowledge for the hardcore fans out there.

I watched this again, with my father, in preparation to see The Meg, 'cause I was worried hearing reports the upcoming film was neutered of it's blood soaked glory. I wanted to compensate any blue balls I thought I would have by first drowning myself in wild girls tits and ripped apart penises before inevitable disappointment. I think Piranha loses some of it's enjoyment on repeat viewings, but there's enough over the top fun and classic b-movie antics to keep all horror fans satisfied. It's crazy to see such a crass and low brow endeavor like this film get critical acclaim from critics. The effects aren't the greatest, the story is childish, but the greatest attribute it boasts I proudly agree with is it doesn't hold back. This is a clear cut modern example of not taking yourself seriously, just having fun with your premise. You want to see an entire lake of spring breakers get ripped to fucking shreds with blood and gore everywhere? You will most definitely get it and more. You want to see Christopher Lloyd briefly reprise his role as Doc Brown raving about the piranhas? You got it. Want to see Eli Roth get his head cut off? You bet your ass you'll get it. Want Adam Scott to shoot piranhas with a shotgun while riding a jet ski? It's here, baby. How about tearing the shit out of them with a boat propeller detached like a chainsaw? I'll stop spoiling the fun. It's a crazy match made in heaven, few "don't take yourself seriously" films like Sharknado hit that very specific sweet spot that makes the film fun as hell to watch, but not in a laughing at it bad way. Piranha 3D is the very rare gore fest that knows how to have loads of genuine summer fun; a return to 80's exploitation.

"He gets in your head, like a virus."

There is no way I can approach this movie with that score without looking like I'm out of my fucking mind. I unfortunately have to side with Jeremy Jahns on this. I don't understand what makes this movie so inexplicably worse than other shit like Winchester, Truth or Dare, The First Purge, and so on. And let me just say, I don't think Slender Man is that great, far from it. I want to see what the inevitable Blu-ray extended cut will feature that hopefully completes the fractured narrative this has. To watch the first trailer and then see my favorite parts from the trailer are just flat out missing, was a bummer to me. But, I think the film offers more in the way of genuine scares and creepy imagery than most other horror movies of the last few years. All too often, we audience bitch about the use of incessant and cheap jump scares, and this one does have some, but the most memorable parts are the montages with seizure inducing flashes of disturbing and abstract pictures. It earns it's jumps and uses them in the right places. There is a strong component in this that relies on psychological horror, and asking the viewer the question, "Are these characters just imagining all of this or are they going insane?" People are complaining there is a lack of a story, but I felt it was there, just placed more subtly. This isn't a movie that has an easy to follow beat for beat story like IT or A Quiet Place. I'm not saying this is smarter written than those, no, but what's done here is reliance on the characters being appealing enough that you just follow them along as they break down mentally. Since I rather dug the teenagers here, as opposed previously mentioned trash, I found it easy to get into the transpiring events. The film is set in a small, mostly run down town, and the surprisingly not obnoxious four lead girls all have unhappy lives, one has an abusive father, and their group wish is to skip town and just go somewhere, kind of like the seniors in American Graffiti. What makes the pay off all the more a real closure is, they technically got their wish, they did leave, just not the way they wanted to. They're now in another dimension. The story starts off simple, they watch a video and then one of the friends goes missing, but the rest of the movie is them hopelessly trying find a way to stop the psychosis. One of my favorite parts is the reveal that Wren desperately used Hallie's sister as practically a sacrifice to appease the Slender Man to get him to go away. The performances these kids puts on is more raw than I expected, I actually believed I was watching some kids on the brink of mental collapse. Okay, enough spoiling, I'll get into more of the technical shit I liked. There's good use of mystery here. It could've been honed in collectively better, but they tried. This hearkens back to the glory days of The Ring and my favorite horror film of all time, Sinister, where the use of technology, old and new, is implemented in their resources figure out the Slender Man mystery. The stuff I crave that I don't seen enough films do is the "found footage" prop, or the "Once you see it, you'll shit brix" element that scares me the most. When Hallie is looking at online videos of "supposed" Slender Man encounters, pauses one, and sees the figure in the background, that's what gets to me. The fear of not knowing something was actually there is what I love; and it raises the question further, is Slender Man just tinkering with the footage or was here there? That's what this film really excels at: making you paranoid. The shots of the woods are beyond excellent. While there's a lot of dark color work, it works, as the on location shoot they did implemented a lot of fog, to highlight the silhouettes of the trees. This movie repeatedly pulls out the rug from the viewer and has the thin Slender Man emerge from an object, pole, or tree that looks like him. It happens multiple times, so eventually, you become on the edge, looking all over the screen, waiting for him to come out. Once that effect hits you, that's what you'll see when you walk outside at night. Couple that with some of the best sound design of this year, you have a movie that has quite a few tense and shake inducing sequences. Everything here has a pattern, three bell sounds, three knocks on the door, the attention to detail is exquisite at times. Maybe I'm stretching for qualities that are present in other, better, movies, but I really got a kick out of the presentation offered here. They didn't twist the mythology of the title character at all, if anything, they were too faithful, and that's why they had to cut it down. I loved the use of a real actor and costume for the Man, even if it got overshadowed by the giant CG leg monster that unwinds at the end. This is all wholly subjective, and maybe I just have the worst taste imaginable, but I have to wonder where the complaints are coming from other than picking on the movie being "made too late" or "it has no story" or other empty complaints I keep seeing regurgitated. Give credit where credit is due. I'm not saying the film is immune from criticism, I think the story is actually incomplete, but I got a massive high from it's colonial subtle creepiness and mystery restraints. Sony, please release the footage that was clearly shot, finished, and promptly cut, for the home video release. We need to see what was removed. I'm going to see this again, and later with the cut stuff, to further evaluate if maybe I was reaching here, or I actually think this movie is underrated.

Everyone needs this film in their life. I cried. No, really, I did. I can't believe it myself. Disney's put out both one of the worst films in their catalogue, and now one of the best in the same year. Three years ago, I was chastising Disney for even conceptualizing a live action Winnie The Pooh, screaming lack of a creative vision and banking off the tired nostalgia of a once great little franchise. I haven't held Disney in the highest regard at all in recent years, criticizing many of their decisions and downright refusing to visit their theme parks or stores. Now, I'm not going to come at you with some bullshit Stuckmann comment, "I grew up with Winnie The Pooh," even though I did, Christopher Robin succeeds entirely on it's own and can be loved by people of all ages. I rack on movies for their structural problems, sometimes ignoring the feeling I'm supposed to be having from the viewing experience, but films like this remind me how emotion can overcome any kind of little technical problem, if it's done well. This is the Disney I miss. I'm so tired of the corporate sell out manipulating monster that is the nu-Disney machine, but it seems every couple of years, Disney puts out a film that reminds me why I loved old Disney, the one Walt Disney created. Meet The Robinsons, Up, Saving Mr. Banks, Tomorrowland, and now Christopher Robin all have something in common. There's messages about growing up, remembering to keep moving forward, not letting such menial things get in the way of what's really important, and so on. What I really love what Marc Foster did was put some class and taste into this. This treats the original Hundred Acre Woods story with real respect, not just the original animated film, but the books and illustrations. This has one of the most perfect openings to any movie, implementing the book drawings into the new live action material. Showing Christopher leave, in a scene replicated from the original movie, and then show his life growing up, and even going off to war and leaving his wife behind, started to get to me. It's very tastefully done and doesn't come across as cheesy or childish. One bit of the montage that stuck out, was I think Pooh blows out a candle on a cake, and it cuts to an explosion in a battle Christopher's in. The whole thing was excellently done. Ewan McGregor makes for a fantastic character, we really don't deserve him. His character means so well for the world, but because of the burdens of reality and his job, unfortunately has to put on hold the things that he holds so dear, even going so far as to snap at Pooh in frustration. The dark and gloomy look of the woods built on the heavy tone of the scene, it was nearly heartbreaking to watch. When the two reconciled, at their thinking place, I had tears on my face. Such an innocent little bear, with no clue of the harshness of the outside world, nearly getting hit in the face with it, while simultaneously reminding Christopher of the carelessness of being a child, was both so endearing and so sad at the same time. The movie gradually turns into a silly adventure movie at the second half, but it doesn't lose it's emotional grip, in fact, it carries it proudly on it's shoulders. I don't want to spoil anything more, but any scene with McGregor talking one on one with either his family or Pooh, will put you on the edge of tears. I love the setting of war-era London, and you very quickly get accustomed to the realistic look of the Hundred Acre Woods. Disney, I know I hate you and I know I rag on you, but let me just say thank you for putting this movie out. It makes me ashamed of my fellow movie fans this movie isn't doing well at the box office or even that fantastic critically, but this is the best movie you have released in a while. It doesn't even feel like a nu-Disney movie, this is a true return to form and boy, man, I really wish they would stick with this. It's so pure and full of genuine heart. I hope people look back on this with a fondness and as a classic. Just great shit, silly old bear...

As the Oscars grow increasingly irrelevant and a shell of it's former golden Hollywood days, the limp dick Academy has opted to create an "Achievement In Popular Film" category, as well as a shorter show time and other changes. The details and eligibility for nominations are to be announced later. As viewership continues to plummet every year, this year's being an all time low, some pointing to streaming or politics as the perpetrators, ABC and those running the show are in total panic mode. If they continue digging into their rut, they would probably have to end the Oscars completely. I am completely against adding this category and it just serves as more proof how out of touch these people are. By creating this separate "achievement," it highlights a slue of conflicts. One, they're aware they don't recognize "blockbusters" or any movies general audiences like as real films. Two, movies like Mad Max: Fury Road will now have the privilege of being shoved out of the Best Picture nomination and instead lumped into shit like The Smurfs, because, this is "most popular" film, right? The Smurfs made like a billion dollars, that means it has a chance of winning an Oscar now. This is the same shit that happened with the Best Animated Film category, masterful works of art like Loving Vincent have no shot at even touching the Best Picture award. However, if they consider Fury Road artful enough to get a Best Picture nod, people will still complain why didn't X blockbuster also get nominated? This will still cause debate about what counts as an award worthy film. Three, what the hell defines "most popular?" The box office or the critical reception? Are we going to gauge the popularity based on the extremely outdated Tomatometer:tm: or the "rigged" audience score? How about the flawed "Cinemascore" system that only weighs initial reactions of a film from literally walking out of the theater? Four, just adding this category at all is shady and screams desperate. We need other categories made first well before a popularity contest. How 'bout following The Golden Globes' footsteps and making genre based wins? Best action movie? Best drama? That way at least each type of film has a shot at getting recognition. The Oscars have always been shit, but this "attempt" at staying relevant is only going to sink them lower. Now Disney owns two wins of the night, since all the most popular movies made now are distrusted by Disney, and they always win the Animation award. No coincidence ABC, who runs the show, is owned by Disney. They've already thrown obviously endorsed lame Star Wars skits into past shows, but this is no longer a celebration of the best of Hollywood. This is a money driven popularity contest, and I hate it. Black Panther will get the win so they can scream black empowerment, even though the film is odious filth.

why are we still here? just to suffer?

Why was this not nominated for any awards? I'm being genuine, why not? There are parts of the story I would tweak (it's basically Rob Zombie's Bonnie and Clyde), but everything else is masterfully done. Phil Parmet's signature claustrophobic and dirty cinematography had me commenting how great the shots were every other second. The dialogue is sharp and on point, as usual, like, I will be quoting some of the shit in this movie for years on end, this is one of the best scripts ever written. "Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fuckin' Mark Twain shit. 'Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone." Zombie has made a reputation for himself of only doing "low-brow" Grindhouse type films, but there's something about them I'm hopelessly attracted to. Zombie's main goal is to entertain the viewer, and I think he excels in doing that in every project he's done. I walk away marveled at the direction, remembering the characters, and downloading the soundtrack. It is unfortunate, I will say, he doesn't take on more accessible genres, so his work gets seen by more people. Even though I loved this, I wouldn't recommend to, say, my grandmother. A shame his clever screenplays are limited to a niche genre within a niche genre. But to say his filmmaking is bad is just dishonest. You want to see a bad movie? Compare the shoot-out openings from both Texas Chainsaw 3D and The Devil's Rejects. You may not have realized it, but the difference is that huge. At least he gets enough funding from his fans and album sales to continue doing whatever he wants. So, the question, should you watch it? Depends how sick you like your horror, or if you'll like be morally conflicted about liking these psychopathic murderous leads. It's the equivalent of genuinely caring for Leatherface and not wanting to see him die. That's why I compare it to Bonnie and Clyde, it takes the side of the criminals, this movie being a huge risk, but pulls it off. There's a bearing resemblance to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid too; example, the final shot is exactly the same. It may sound weird, but once you see Captain Spaulding and Baby clamoring for Tuity Fruity ice cream, there's no going back.

It doesn’t take long to recognize that “Mission: Impossible — Fallout” is a good movie. Very good; nonstop exhilaration, incredible stunts, fluid camera movement complimented by the editing, goofy plot twists that work despite their conventionality, and all the character leads. This sounds like a negative, it's not, the best way to describe the experience is like watching a Saturday morning cartoon. Tom Cruise coupled with his lovable team up against the new villain is the groundwork for many children's television episodes. But, Of course, they take it up a bunch of notches, crafting an engaging, and thankfully classy blockbuster that is above many other wretched releases as of late. Never did I feel cheated or talked down to, it hearkens back to the noir films of the 30's (that meet-up at the beginning is a direct take on the gangster genre) while plucking the set pieces right out of classic James Bond. But Christopher McQuarrie shits all over them; he's making a name for delivering breath stopping action sequences, the helicopter finale shot in IMAX left my mouth hanging time to time. The sixth film in a surprise hit franchise is still improving upon itself, and Cruise still willing to do ridiculous stunts at the tender age of 56. I guess Scientology gives you superpowers, sign me up. He makes us all forget he was in The Mummy, and Rebecca Ferguson gets her career back on track after the sleeper "hit" The Snowman. A few last comments, I'm glad they kept the shot in where Cruise limps as he gets up on the building, he actually broke his foot filming that scene, that's why. It's funny, Tom just played Barry Seal in American Made, an expert pilot who transported in a drug cartel. Now in this, he can barely work a helicopter. Henry Cavil put up a damn good fight, that mustache took out an entire film franchise. I say worth it, that's a sick stache. I'm just glad the action was zany enough to marry with it's silly story. This was the right balance of everything. The dialogue is intense, which keeps the audience on their toes, giving the impression of being nonstop. You get your moneys worth.

this is the best fucking movie I've seen in 2018, what the fucking fuck! ! ! This is how you do a parody/children's movie/superhero genre destroying epic (if that's even a type of movie). I was smiling within the first five seconds and it carried through almost the entire damn thing. Like, I don't even watch the show and I hate the state of superhero films, but... this made me excited about superheroes. I was bopping my head to the songs, I was feeling at the feels moments, I was howling at the excellent, and actually clever, meta humor. This is one of the most original children's films I've seen in years, despite that it's plot structure is actually fairly basic and predictable. This enters the reigns of The LEGO Movie in representing a very surprising upset, coming from an joke franchise to proving itself it has worth. To all the haters detracting the movie on social media, yelling you want the original show back, go see it. There's even a surprise mid-credit scene you may like. Teen Titans GO! To the Movies is a very welcome and fun sleeper hit that will please anyone who goes and sees it, nerd, geeks, adults, children, the world will bask in it's fast paced take down that leaves no topic unscathed. It's all here, everything it could take down it does. The animation even hilariously switches depending on the film or show it's referencing, and it happens often. The amount of properties it flirts with borders on indecipherable and will require it's own wiki page. I was rooting for the characters, it gave me a reason to care, I was laughing with them on their ridiculous plights, and used a cool subtle jab at the Hollywood machine as it's invisible enemy. I loved this movie, I just wish it was longer and tried ever so slightly harder to avoid it's clichés. Thankfully, they don't detract much the entertainment value. Who wants to start an Oscar campaign for this movie? If fucking Boss Baby can get in, this can and will. Let's start that crusade, just like the Titans.

also, Back to the Future reference was a nice touch. they paid the royalties for the songs, I love it.

I mean, it's better than whatever the Dark Universe is doing. Shit, I saw this a couple days ago at my awesome local AMC, but I forgot to log it. The film doesn't have as much staying power as I would like, kind of shame, 'cause I really dig cute animated features, and the horror genre. This is a child friendly mix of both, but it's only stand out qualities it has to show for is Genndy's expressive animation, and I mean wacky as fuck stuff, and it's line up of Transylvanian monsters. So call me biased for giving this an above average rating, but it's presentation is what I got a high off. Also, that godforsaken airplane Gremlins bit, oh my god I want more of that. I mean, if you're just looking for a safe time at the theater on a like a discount day, this is the perfect option. Your gelatinous offspring will eat it up, you will like the monsters and action, and the theater gets money. Everyone wins. When I say safe, this is the highest average you can get. Main character wants a girlfriend, crew goes on vacation, lead meets a pretty lady, hijinks ensue, and some "surprise" reveals. You know the entire plot start to finish just by watching the trailer. I wish Tartakovsky was allowed to take risks, or allowed to make his Popeye movie that was shamefully scrapped in service of making The Emoji Movie, because the dude has talent. He created Samurai Jack and Dexter's Labratory. He has a key eye for fluid and unrealistic movement that lends itself to eye candy entertainment. The fact he's stuck at Sony making borderline criminally safe movies like Summer Vacation is sad. I was amused with what I got here, it's fine, but that's it.

I'm shocked. A balls deep, nonplussing emotional, clever horror trip with some shocks and pleasant punches. It seems studios are taking a look at their failed first installments, i.e. Ouija, now Unfriended, and actually making the effort to improve upon what didn't work. I say, it's a welcome surprise. From the trailer alone, I wanted nothing to do with Dark Web, I was laughing at the concept (and screaming at the normies), but meanwhile praising the teaser of similar project Searching. I walked in this expecting to hate it, but as it slowly built up, I found myself enjoying it. Stephen Susco's directorial debut, who he previously wrote the two Grudge remakes, pulls so meaty and slick twists. I'm not sure how much research he did into the dark web, but he kept the reality faithful enough with only taking a few liberties. It still bugs me they use the glitchy static whenever something evil is "on-screen." It wouldn't distort, it would just lag and buffer. But the nitpicks aside, they go it where it counts. They even implemented Remote Desktop Control, I love it. The type of blocking Susco implements with programs being open and shit made me roll my head back smiling at how ingenious some of it was. A livestream would be open on one tab will be playing a camera from one angle, but then on another tab hidden under in the corner will start showing something moving on same stream, meanwhile a message comes up in the other corner of the screen. It's difficult to explain, this was an elaborate set up, I can't imagine pulling all these elements together, but that part where Serena has to pick between her girlfriend or her mom had me rolling. But said having said that, it could lead into one of the bigger issues with movie, and I didn't much care for the six lead characters. Oh, they sure try, they try to make me care, and it works at a few parts. But, half the time, despite how evil (and grossly unrealistic) their actions, I was rooting for the Charon's to take the step further. Come on, hacking into Aj's computer and playing a shotgun cock sound as his house is getting swatted so he gets shot? Terrible, but I was near screaming in the theater. I won't say anything else they do, but it gets way better. There wasn't as much violence as I expected (hardly any blood), but the fast pace and twisted scenarios sufficed any bloodshed. Susco outdid himself on the direction. Just a mouse cursor spinning rapidly to capture the emotions of the character you can't see on camera, little details like that make this brilliant. It's full of 'em. If you were having any doubts about this like I was, it could surprise you. A fun and stirring little experience. Based on the ending, it really should've been called Game Night. Guess they had to change it after another release came out this year.

I haven't watched a movie in a couple days, just a little busy with work, but it's tradition to keep showing this classic. I'm a fan of Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin's films, as controversial as they can be, but the one everyone universally gathers around is their 1996 hit, Independence Day. A smash hit at the box office, the biggest movie in the world, about America, no, the world's independence from extraterrestrial life. While full of quips and stock characters, the action, world building, and surprisingly poignant drama has stood this movie the test of time. The sequel may have came and went, but Bill Pullman's speech will never die. May everyone have a good 4th of July, and let's just have a moment for one of the best speeches ever.

Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in this history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps its fate that today is the 4th of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom, not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the 4th of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

I say this as a life long fan of Brad Bird, and I mean watching The Iron Giant when I was five, Incredibles 2 is rushed. No, it's very rushed. This is his most amateurish work to date, including Tomorrowland, which I believe is a unfairly maligned movie. My guess as to what happened here, Disney looked at their release schedule for 2018 and 2019, and noticed both this and Toy Story 4 were supposed to come out the same year. To make sure they capitalize their profits as much as they can, I bet they pushed Bird to release it a year early. As a result, the long awaited sequel to one of the surprise underdog hits of Pixar's line-up is lacking a lot of detail and the epic heart of it's predecessor. This feels like one of those direct-to-video sequels that Disney liked to pump out incessantly from the early 90's to late 2000's. The plot has about the weight of a television episode, the characters lack a lot of the intrigue previously seen, and the direction is very stock at times. Half the time, I forgot I was watching a Brad Bird production, his usual trademarks are missing in this. Even just the wee details I appreciate, such as these two guys' cameos, are nowhere to be seen. The most Birdiam-esque feelings I would get are the brief villain moments, like the seizure inducing, literally, fight in the apartment, the monologue, and one-on-one talk on the plane towards the end. But just, I don't know, I didn't really care about anything that was going on. There's some sweet little scenes with Par and the kids, including his amending with Violet, plus the fan service of seeing the family's reaction to Jack Jack's powers. None of it's bad, but comes off swapable. A lot of it is generic family fare, just done with Brad Bird's style. You may enjoy that, but I was looking for something much more special, especially coming from the man himself in the same franchise. Where's the scene that tops Par's heartbreaking revelation that all his friends are dead? Not only that, but murdered by the villain, and he watches the screen as he sees their names marked off. There is no such scenario in this, nothing comes close. It appears they took the VERY surface level political attributes from the first movie, and just decided to make that the childish plot around that. It's like a child's understanding of what made the first movie clever and it becomes redundant. Supers were already kind of coming out of hiding by the end of the first movie. To retread that old ground, bring back up the Underminer villain cliffhanger, only to not do anything with it and not acknowledge it after the opening scene, makes this almost feel like a fanfiction like remake. The magic just isn't there. The new villain is incredibly (haha) forgettable and replaceable. She barely has any connection to the heroes, and the dinky thread she does have is copied from Syndrome, but there's no big comeuppance for her, just, nothing. She's just thrown in jail without much word about it, then the film just ends. Believe me when I say, my heart almost sank when I heard the end score play so early after the final fight. It couldn't have been over that quickly, but it was. The saving grace this sequel boasts is it's very imaginative action, adequate set pieces, and some shining little character bits. But holy wow, this needed a rewrite or two and another year of production.

Wow, it's been a while since I've seen a movie, in the theater, with MoviePass. I guess they're finally making money off me. I'm back, re-energized, and glad I picked this to be my next watch. American Animals is the true story of four boys who got themselves into a bad situation. And by bad, it's stealing four books in hopes of something. They don't know what, just that doing it is something different from their menial lives, and it might make them rich. What makes this film so lovely is it's presentation of it's characters. It's part interviews, part recreation of the real events. How real? They actually call this out as a plot point. Spencer Reinhard says twice that he remembers the events differently from his friend, the ring leader, Warren Lipka, but they make this out as a crucial thing. They share both sides, but Spencer wonders if Warren was making up anything he was saying, further pushing the mystery of the story and questionable trust in each of their emotionally wrecked selves. Each of them are clouded by their own bias and viewpoints. Three of these kids don't even want to do the heist, while the in-over-his-head leader keeps persuading them to keep going. But once the heist happens, he breaks down just like the rest of them.

What I liked was there were no subplots or other nonsense clouding the focus of the story. It never jumps to other locations to see what other people's reactions were to what's going on, no filler with like the FBI investigating at their headquarters. What matters is the lead four's reception to what's going on. It puts in sub-textual perspective that they aren't thinking about real world consequences or their future with what they're doing. There's a great scene that keeps cutting between each of them, in their trance and mortified state after the heist is over, demonstrating the guilt and regret they're feeling for what they had done. They each snap at the same moment, but nothing what they each do matches physically or anything. They just all snap at the same time. There's this other little detail I like, before the first attempt at the heist happens, Spencer is sitting at a table and his pounding two little horse figures down repeatedly, making the sound of a tense heart beat. I could do commentary over the whole movie, but I want to wait for Bart Layton to do one on the Blu-ray. There's this little moment I caught where, okay, it's a montage of Spencer and Warren talking, but it keeps cutting between them in different locations, one of them sitting outside and another in the car. You know people sometimes bring back up conversations at later times. So, for this edit, Spencer is outside talking, but then his next line acts like he's in the car, and points up, saying, "Pull in here." It then cuts to him in the car at a gas station. It was a very quick motion, but very slick and thoughtful way of transitioning. The robbery is fast paced, heart pounding, and emotionally confusing twist of events. My heat felt like it was being physically stabbed repeatedly. I love Ole Bratt Birkeland's use of spinning camera motions, swerving back and forth to each character's reactions. This is a beautifully shot and orchestrated movie, you must check this out on the big screen.

Above all else, this is how you create a heist movie. It twists the genre a little, and understands how to subvert your expectations well, but I actually grew to care about the characters. Even if what they were enacting was morally wrong and illegal, the way this explores their heads in a clever and deeply relatable form, makes this a stand-out sleeper hit of 2018. One of the very best of the year.

Hereditary has a lot going for it. Toni Collette steals the Oscar win halfway into the year, Ari Aster writes a well thought out script at the tender age of 31, and A24 gets to keep repackaging the same movie with the same misleading trailer. Many are going at this movie as a resurgence of the horror genre, everyone complaining about the overuse of "cheap" jumpscares in more mainstream filth, but this being an unprecedented achievement? It is not. That doesn't mean it's bad, or even overpraised. I can see why people will fawn all over this. It's a tightly built, marvelously crafted family drama, filled to the brim with emotionally petrifying moments. It's always the worst kind of feeling you get when you can relate to unpleasant scenario in film (or any medium), but hearing and seeing Collette scream got to my head. Not sure what happened to Aster in his short life where he was able to capture a shouting match so accurately, but I feel you, man. I would rather not say much more, because bringing up any details could delude the twist and mystery. Simply put, if you want a more intense version of The Witch, it parallels a lot, right down to some select story beats. However, unlike the historical and somewhat fable feeling of the latter, Hereditary feels very grounded in the real world of today, sometimes to an unnerving extent. There are grotesque moments, but the bits here that stick with you rely on the characters' actions. When Peter Graham is laying down in bed and he's just waiting for his mom to discover the corpse, then hear her blood curdling screams, that's something that will stick with me. Annie pleading to her husband over and over to burn the book is a performance I won't shake off. I've seen this story done before, and better at that. I think my bigger issue with the movie isn't any of the technical stuff, everything presented is visually stunning, I just don't think I was as impressed as I should've been.

This movie should have been called STEM. That gives off a much more unsettling vibe.

I actually would rather not say much, because you should just experience Upgrade yourself. I was nearly in tears just fifteen minutes in, not expecting that. I rarely ever get emotional watching any film, let alone so early on. If you want Ex Machina, but melded together with the action of John Wick, in service of a story reminiscent of Death Wish, this is exactly the result. Leigh Whannel creates a carefully crafted, small, but satisfying "grindhouse" flick. I use quotations because the story is anything but something as low brow and shitty as a grindhouse, but the action certainly suits the genre. Much of the world building is tastefully kept to a bare minimum, or kept in just revealing of the technology, so the script stays centered on Grey Trace; this is something I very much appreciate. There's not a lot of jumping locations, or even that many characters, as doing so would only muddle up the tension and drama. This is a surprise that came out of nowhere. Whannel just comes out after Insidious: The Last Key and blows a great creative load. The choreography intermixed with the editing of Stefan Duscio's gorgeous camera work delivers a delightfully appealing show. Seek out one of only a thousand or so theaters that are carrying this. One of my unquestionable favorites of the year so far. Deadpool 2 has nothing on it.

Bill Skarsgård was in this movie and there was not one Pennywise reference. Writers, you have failed me.

Wow, I am really on the fence about this one. I don't have much to say about this, just, if you enjoyed the first, you'll be fawning all over this one. It's better. I'm not a fan of Tim Miller's original, mostly because of the constant meta humor and terrible, inconsequential story. It just didn't click with me. Making a jab at a popular movie that recently came out isn't clever writing. Deadpool 2 is exactly what you would expect of a sequel that thrives off a film built on fourth wall jokes and inappropriate gags. It's the reason you're in your seat. Thankfully, the jokes are actually more respectful this time around and not as often as expected. The Take-On Me piece is the best thing to come out of the movie; I chuckled. And Cable makes for a great character, actually much more so than the Wade Wilson. Josh Brolin nails every role he's in, which is why I wanted more of him. He's a tragic anti-hero, but unfortunately, his struggles aren't given much attention. He brushes all his reason for being there in the last scene (yes, I get what they were doing), but lacked in any satisfying wrap up for his arc. We instead have to focus on the lamest, eye-roll inducing fat kid, Russel, and his quandary at his abusive orphanage. It's so lame and not interesting, but we're forced to endure it, because it ties back to Deadpool's relationship with his wife. It's the center of the movie, and I couldn't give less of a fuck. They could've gotten a better actor, or something. Given more screen time to the horrible crimes the orphanage is committing, but just, I did not care. And at times, it seems the movie didn't either. There's a few subplots that briefly come up, only to be swept under the rug only minutes later. Whatever happened to the kids Negasonic Teenage Warhead were saving in the finale? What happened to the orphanage, or Russel for that matter, after the battle was over? It might be looking for things that aren't there, but the story felt incomplete. It's a cryptic and broken script that's copying Guardians Of The Galaxy and The Terminator, missing any kind of emotion. This should've been all about Cable, not Deadpool making dumb jokes as a guy gets cut up in a shredder. If you just want a silly action movie, with subpar work of John Wick director David Leitch, pounded together with wacky and gross humor, you will like it. It just didn't do much for me. Not going to remember it in a week.

Updated to read more coherently

Well, that was a whole lot of nothing. If you're new and reading this, I think I should lay down my opinions on the Star Wars franchise. I have a lot of nostalgia for the original trilogy, I unironically enjoy The Phantom Menace, genuinely love Revenge of the Sith, and currently dislike the direction Disney is taking the series with Episode VII and VIII. Rogue One is the only new film put out that I liked, attributed primarily to Gareth Edwards' vision for that particular story. The saga has a special place in the back of my heart, but I'm not a blind fanboy. I recognize when something is poorly done, or in Solo's case, having no reason to exist. It's amazing a pop culture icon as big as this has sunken into bargain bin or Netflix territories of inconsequential narratives. Aside from a couple winks and clever callbacks to aforementioned, and soon to be coming up, events in future and past films, there's no consequences in the story and nothing seems to matter. We have a stagnant and poor actor playing alongside Emilia Clarke in a bad school play of Bonnie & Clyde while doing shit that doesn't make sense, other than that it needs to happen to satisfy callbacks in future installments. And what's a shame, is there was potential here. Maybe Gareth Edwards' hands being dug into this universe indirectly influenced the design in a way, but seeing Han fight as a soldier in the beginning was an interesting route to explore. I liked some of the dialogue, a bit of it feeling much more natural than what's been going on in other quip filled biggies. Ron Howard does a decent job, I'm a fan of his work, and his direction is unique and hands on. Unfortunately, his flavor doesn't seem to appear much. Once more, a committee and a yes man cobbled this up, Howard seemingly compromising his style for simple "wow" moments. But overall, it is competent. I wonder how much of this is Lord and Miller way back from what they shot. I wish there was more of Howard, his look just seemed scattered throughout. There's a moment at the end where Emilia is looking out the window at Han, and, it was a small gesture, but the cinematography combined with Powell's music made for a surprisingly memorable moment. It had a raw quality and felt like... a movie, specifically reminiscent of a 60's drama. But it was just another little nugget in a space of nothing. I liked the idea of showing the storm troopers as actually threatening, pushing civilians around, it felt right. The scene of Han and Kira getting separated between the bars works, there's attempt at character building. But around after the opening on Carillion, the arc kind of stagnates. Everything interesting happens in the first twenty minutes. They may have played all their cards out too early, but just, I don't know. Once they arrived on the ice planet for their first heist, I became so disinterested, and anything kind of established early wasn't considered for bringing back up later in the story (aside from the dice). Arcs weren't considered, things just... happened. Scenes just happened. The most satisfaction I found were just a few shining pieces of competent film making, like the spectacular storm chase with the Falcon, but they're thrown in service of a story with characters as wasted as Rose Tico. Woody Harrelson is wasted in this shit, his only purpose is to teach Han to never trust anyone, which doesn't even really seem to affect Han anyways. He buddies up with Chewbacca at the end regardless, so Harrelson's arc ends with no impact. His girlfriend dies during the first heist, and everyone forgets about it so quick. When droid asked for equal rights, I swear I was ready to walk out. Yes, Star Wars has always been political, but the stories themselves have underlying subtle political echoes. This was just a lazy call out to current year politics, and screamed lazy writing. As for the lack of any tension, it doesn't have anything to do with me knowing none of these characters will die, because this is a prequel, but this doesn't tell me anything I care to know. Oh yeah, I'm so worried the annoying female droid is going to die. It's more useless than the C3P0 and R2-D2 meeting in Episode I. So, Darth Maul is back miraculously. Cool. What does that add to this story? How does it develop the characters anything beyond fan service tripe? Why does it matter? Why does anything that go on in this movie matter? Stuff just happens. Think about it. Take away the brand for a second and think about the events that happen here. I don't know who's saying it, but Donald Glover is passable at best as Lando. So, he smiles a few times and says some snappy things at a card game. That's not a character. Han Solo is not developed anymore than he was in the originals. His character doesn't really evolve or learn any lessons. After the opening, he's reduced to standing around really awkwardly and repeat how much of a great pilot he is. They were just hitting the beats at the right moments and hoping it was entertaining enough so you wouldn't hate sitting through it. The villain is one of the most useless, throw away, gangster cartel dealing baddies you've ever seen. I've seriously already forgotten his name. You know, I go to movies to be enriched. To either be gleefully entertained through worthwhile action that carries meaning, learn valuable life lessons, and to think. I don't go to be numb for two hours as recognizable flashy colors simply blast on a big screen. And like I have to repeat, I don't preach this to be pretentious, these are my feelings. I'm done getting peer pressured into seeing all these big movies I have no interest in, a lot of which leave me feeling empty, rather than quenched. I'm done giving Star Wars a chance. My highest compliment to Howard is, I didn't hate this. It didn't destroy the legacy and reputation like The Last Jedi. I'm just disappointed. Rogue One was the lucky strike in the losing ball game.

Okay, if you've followed me for a while, you know I would never sell out my voice for money or clicks. I don't construe my feelings to be contrarian, and I've stated a number of times I don't enjoy hating. Oh sure, A Quiet Place looks fantastic in comparison to the relentless gluttony dispenser of superhero blockbusters, but what about it's own? John Krasinski creates a well crafted picture: it looks and sounds great, although it cheats by making everyday sounds artificially quieter. But, I can't help feel the short run time, and plot holes that are coins gushing out of a slot machine, more than you can carry, rot the spine of what otherwise is an intriguing concept. An apocalypse of monsters that seem unstoppable, attracted by simple noises? Having just seen the teaser, I was itching to see what could be done with a story like this. There were, almost literally, a couple seconds of what I could consider worthwhile achievements. The location and cinematography is excellent, using tricky lighting and blocking, but only serves as the means of telling a very cliched story. I don't understand it. How was it that I was bored through this? This has been done better in so many other monster movies, even from Platinum Dunes' own catalogue. What about Signs? None of the characters were interesting, which could be accounted by their lack of speaking, but even performance wise. I didn't create a connection to any of just the cast of six characters. Krasinski is the most intense, but we don't know anything about his past life. What was Emily Blunt's occupation before this? What did they like to do for fun? Have they always lived at this farm? What is the political and social ramifications of the catastrophe on the rest of the world? What did the kids do before the invasion? Where are the creatures even coming from? What sounds can the monsters pick up and why do they not attack at some of them? We don't know. I can appreciate it just focuses on the crucial events, like an old horror movie from the seventies (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), but it's hard for me to care about a creature coming to attack when I don't care if someone is going to be killed, not even the newborn baby. If you want an example of killing a child done better, just go to the recent IT. It guts you watching Georgie get sucked below the streets, because it took the time and carefully put an emotional tie between the lead, Billy. It's tried here, but to a lesser extent. The writers have already announced a sequel, so maybe the budget will be much larger to expand the world of this universe, but money is no excuse. 10 Cloverfield Lane had nothing, and that boasted an incredible creepy narrative. I nearly laughed when Krasinski screamed and sacrificed himself, while the daughter just stared with her gaping mouth open. And, again, my issue's not the under utilization of it's possibilities, but just that I wasn't able to care about anything going on. Everyone just seemed so flat. And especially more of a problem, when the weakness is so obvious, and shown in a silly way, it makes the monsters all less terrifying. I believe, a spectacularly wasted use of a great idea, most likely just getting praise for not being a Marvel movie.

I got about what I was expecting, and I like it a lot. I had my eye on this from the first time I saw the trailer; I loved the idea. Now that it's been released, and promptly bombed at the box office, is it worth spending an overpriced ticket to go see? Based on my values, I say go with MoviePass, discount Tuesday, or wait to buy it when it's less expensive. Don't let that warning dissuade you from seeing it, I'm just sick of these ridiculously high prices. Bad Samaritan has a lot going for it. It's Dean Devlin's best movie, it's David Tennant's best performance ever, and the script is incredibly creepy and interesting, borrowing a couple ingredients from Psycho and The Silence Of The Lambs. It aims for the mainstream sensibilities at a time or two, but I was happy that it treated itself seriously for the majority of it's two hours. It has an engaging concept, that employs most of it's potential. It like keeps track of everything the audience may pick out as something that could've happened, and actually follows up on it. Quick example, Tennant opens a video chat with the robber? He takes a screenshot as evidence, instead of just closing the phone in fear, or some shit. The two leads are robbers, who cleverly break into people's houses using their valet cars, but then they come across one who happens to be a sadomasochist or a murder. I totally dug this, and Devlin executed it carefully, with great editing and set pieces. The characters acted with realism, like real people. There's something about the way these actors are directed that make it leagues better than what Truth Or Dare did. Robert Sheehan pulls out an unexpected vigorous performance as the robber who feels guilt for what he's done before, and now wants to help this victim. You feel genuine sadness for this man, I did not expect this. I was just heading in rooting for Tennant to destroy everything and win. The finale in the snow is one of the better climaxes in the past few years, beautiful design. All the tension built from the past two acts encapsulates in a stand-off. The big problem is it's undercut by a totally out-of-place joke. I get what they were setting up, I even just realized that, but still doesn't change that all the tension I felt had been ruined by it. However, if you're searching an original, gravely creepy thriller that utilizes a lot of it's premise, believable performances from the entire cast, and unforgettable set pieces, seek this one out.

FUCK

So, here's the thing: I grew up with a family dog. That means this movie is automatically great, because I have a deep, emotional attachment to the character's identity on-screen. I've never told anyone this, I've never typed it before, but you're all hearing it first, courtesy of me. Let me tell you about myself, instead of informing you about the quality of the movie. I'm in college, a film student, and an inspired fan of Wes Anderson's grossly overused and distracting aesthetic. I love the colors purple and orange, I'm a great driver, and I'm working on a novel, but I'm having writer's block. Wes Anderson is all I hear about in class, which I really appreciate. He's so much better than other "filmmakers" out there, with his gorgeous CINEMATOGRAPHY, and his phenomenal DIRECTION, he's the biggest auteur in the business right now, not like scumbags like Michael Bay, who are just ruining this industry. I got emotionally connected from the first frame of this movie, when I recognized Anderson's flat and symmetrical art style. Literal chills and goosebumps. From there, it was a roller-coaster of epidemic proportions. You aren't ready for these feels. We need a movie like this, in the current year we live in. When, by executive decree, all the canine pets of Megasaki City are exiled to a vast garbage-dump called Trash Island, 12-year-old Atari sets off alone in a miniature Junior-Turbo Prop and flies across the river in search of his bodyguard-dog, Spots. There, with the assistance of a pack of newly-found mongrel friends, he begins an epic journey that will decide the fate and future of the entire Prefecture. Overall, I would recommend this film.

i'm gonna go shoot my head off now

I'm sorry Blumhouse, a big fan of yours, but people, PLEASE DO NOT GO WATCH BLUMHOUSE'S TRUTH OR DARE. A 2018 horror movie... relying on this many clichés. No attempt at writing any character development, or, well, there's plenty of half-baked ass moments to "define" this collection of sad fucks. "Oh, see look! That Asian guy is the gay one! He's going to come out to his dad! Our main character is just a super nice gal in a bad situation. She's going to do something rotten by the end. Her roommate is a stuck-up meanie, but it's just because of a misunderstanding. What's that? You don't care? You want to see them all die in gruesome and horrific ways? Sorry! This is a PG-13 movie, we're not going to show any violence. Please suffer through our god-awful script, to finally watch a character die, but you won't get to see the details!" Effectively, they made it so there's nothing here to satisfy anyone. It's all equally degenerate. The only reason you see a movie like this, is for the gore and blood, let's be real. This anal sauce is trying to act like it has a deep script or some shit, so it doesn't need violence to sell itself. I'm sorry, that's the main reason your audience bought their tickets to come see this, not watch teenagers take selfies. I love the horror genre, I seriously do, but I have standards. This is one of the worst movies I've ever tried to get through; I failed. Shame on Blumhouse for trying to parade this fecal matter around, proudly stamping their name on the cover. Of all movies, this one? I'm frustrated and monumentally disappointed.

This is where I fail as a movie reviewer. I am too easy on the horror genre. The Platinum Dunes remake of Friday The 13th is a surprisingly faithful re-adaptation of the series. It satisfies my lust I crave from the stereotypical trashy horror flick: Blood, tits, drugs, sex, and gore. What makes the remake worth at least one viewing is it's sleek and stylish upgrade. This is definitely an improvement over the many sequels, much as the same route A Nightmare On Elm Street took, where the remake is better than most of the originals. Note aside, beyond it's guilty pleasure attraction, the depth of Crystal Lake is shallow. Many of the side characters have but any growth, their purpose is just to be killed in gruesome fashion (which is satisfying as hell), and the story is just another brain-dead person out to kill those who comes into his home. Must say though, for a downer guy as big as Jason, he sure knows how to set up some elaborate traps. You've heard this song before, only now, you get a kick-ass cover to it. If only the original song had some depth to it. Yeah, I said that about the original movie. Hope you guys have a most excellent Friday the 13th.

The biggest relief I can say about Ready Player One is it works, even without the never-ending barrage of pop culture nostalgia. Upset across all social media platforms, a concern I took part in, was the movie had no identity to show for itself, that it relied heavily on better films from the 80's to sell itself. I do not think the comments I made were bad or outdated now, as it is important to criticize art, but I can happily say I did enjoy this movie's core, even without the aid of the surface eye candy. This is the most Spielberg movie that man has made in quite awhile, after such masterpieces like The BFG. It follows the standard hero's journey he's used a number of times, this closely paralleling E.T., which was a welcome return. This is the director I fell in love with, and it seems he knew how to take the disaster of a book this is adapted from, and create an entertaining blockbuster. My bigger hiccups about the picture, are one or two tasteless scenes, specially the haunted house rendition of Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. It's a crowd-pleaser moment, understandably, but something about it's total disregard for the meanings from the original film almost come off as disrespectful. It's the closest the movie touched the "Hey, remember this thing you recognize?!" predicament I was fearing before watching. I think a more shallow movie, hell Grease would've worked much better, could fix this. Any other issues I had could be pointed at it's predictability, and over-reliance on filling the run-time with references, some of which don't advance the story much. I could see what they were doing, showing Wade being smarter than everyone else in the game, but having him list off stuff like it's a references checklist is where it can get half-assed. But most of the callbacks are respectful and work, they did their research, thankfully. No cringe shit like Marvel Studios' Black Panther's, "What're those?!" Just end me. Happy to just say I've seen another blockbuster in four months that I didn't hate. I'm going to remember that opening race, good shit. And, I geeked out like hell when MechaGodzilla was fighting The Iron Giant. It makes no sense, but I understand that's the point.

CW: Christianity, Atheism, white males, a retarded plot

Do I even need to say anything? It's God's Я Us 3: A Light in Bankruptcy. Pure Flix, by some miracle of God, has managed to assemble a cinematic universe out of this fecal matter, just like Universal Studios and Focus was able to splurge out three Fifty Shades movies. I'm committing review sin by comparing two unrelatable franchises, but the parallels apply. I must ask, who is going to these to make them profitable? Suckers like me who want to watch some unintentional trash? Authentic Christian audiences who view these as important films? I would love to have a discourse with someone who honestly enjoys a broken wreck of a movie like this. Everyone can have their own taste, I welcome all perspectives, but it makes you curious. I admit, seeing Shane Harper's silly mug back again made me ironically geek out. It was the equivalent of a seeing a side-character cameo back in a Marvel product. All enjoyment is purely found in the accidental humor and structural problems. When a focal dramatic moment has met me laughing at it's scrambled pacing and distracting inadequate digital effects, you've failed at telling whatever story you were trying to. There's a sampling of laughably edgy conversation too, one where domestic abuse is brought up and another the Mandela effect being used to interpret Jesus may exist. It's too bad, Christianity could be so metal if shown on the big-screen with reverence. Pure Flix, you have money, make a badass action movie (that's not Samson), put some Bruce Campbell, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Dwayne Johnson in there, and you got me there opening day. Throw heavy rock in and hardcore Bible verses for maximum flavor. For now, we still have Ben Hur, The Ten Commandments, and any Mel Gibson movie, so I guess we're good.

I don't even want to write anything. This movie makes me angry. Even with the mind-set going in that this is cheesy non-sense meant to please the brain-dead movie-going public, it fails to generate any sense that it understands what it wants to be and it's responsibility to respect it's predecessor. Call me exaggerating, but Pacific Rim: Uprising is a nightmare of a film, it's the last thing any fan should want of a property: Taking everything great a franchise has established, strip it down it's bare assets, then trying to sell it to dumb people. I've already said the first Pacific Rim wasn't a brilliant piece of cinema, but a lot of love went into crafting it's visuals and universe. Del Toro had a great eye for practical effects, lighting, digital composites, etc. I'm sorry Steven S. DeKnight, but he murders the franchise in every possible category: The writing is film school amateurish, the effects are below-average (lower than Transformers quality), the music is forgettable, and the universe has been shrunken down to a couple people, just like what The Last Jedi did for Star Wars. You had this mature and bad-ass world of Jaegar meets Kaiju action and you squandered it into the embarrassing cringe-inducing children's movie domain. I don't know how much hand John Boyega had in the creative process, but you can smell the cheapening all over the product. Everyone's picked apart the Jaegars moving too fast and the outfits not appearing as technically impressive, but down to the core, the writing, it's ruined. You thought Independence Day: Resurgence had lazy writing? Wait until you hear classic lines in Uprising that just reference how much better the writing was in the last movie. Want to write a great speech before the final battle? That takes too much effort. Just mention how great Idris Elba's "cancelling the apocalypse" speech was. They do this constantly in the movie, chucking, not even just random subtle call-backs, but full pieces of dialogue mentioning events in the last one. If you're not even going to bother writing your story better than garbage like Ender's Game and every other "youth training in military to stop evil force" movie, please don't insult the original by persistently referencing how much better it was. The action isn't even exciting. The physics and extremely out-of-place uses of slow-motion hinder any kind of tension or thrills. The finale in Tokyo is among one of the most underwhelming and confusing messes of editing ever. Resurgence was easy to follow at least, because it was set in the barren desert. How is it that a sequence at night in the rain, from the first movie, is easier to follow than one in daylight? And the movie just ends after they defeat the "final boss" Kaiju. No extra words to bring the characters' arcs to a close, you know, like a resolution should. It just goes from the characters getting out of their pod, having an out-of-place snowball fight, and the end credits. I almost couldn't believe it was over then. There was a brief mid-credits scene that poorly set-up future sequels that thankfully won't ever happen. It just dumbfounds me the entire cast went about putting this disaster together without one person going, "You know, shouldn't we at least get something right from the original movie?" Long-gone are the days of cool neon-aesthetic duel-outs with robots smashing ships into on another. We have the most bare-bones bullshit that's parading around as a sequel to a passion project of epic proportions. It's no wonder Del Toro isn't advertising this movie on Twitter. There's a part in the movie where they play the "Trololol" song as the Jaegars are flying away to fight. It was literally trolling it's audience.

Well, this is interesting. What makes the experience work is the dichotomy between the two lead actresses. Without them and Anton Yelchin to boost the script, I don't think the movie would work as effectively. Olivia Cooke does a strong job, oddly, playing a character who bares no emotions, and Anya Taylor-Joy, whom I loved from Split and The Witch leaves another fine role to add to her résumé. Unfortunately, the trailers, which I did not watch before seeing the movie, give the film off to be dark comedy, when in reality, it's a deliberately slow-burn drama in the vein of Yorgos Lanthimos. There are humorous moments to be sure, but none of them come off as deliberate comedy, just natural dialect. The core of the story is a drama about a girl wanting to escape her step-father and she's caught in the middle with a weird friend, who had something traumatizing happen to her. Yelchin doesn't have as big of part as some might expect, but regardless, he still nails the act of an overly-confident druggie who thinks he's hot-shit. The script is nothing remarkably spectacular or refreshing, but watching the main two bounce conversations off each-other upgrade the work. If you get a kick out of some slow drama mixed with splendid tension, try it out.

R.I.P. Anton Yelchin

Why are you doing this?

Why not?

This is a shame. I'm a big fan of the first film's creativeness and said director's talent to create some truly terrifying scenarios. Even though it bares huge flaws, it stands out to me as one of the best horror movies of the past few years. Said that, I was cautious but optimistic about The Strangers: Prey At Night, I love the horror genre, even the bullshit that's shat out every year. It's just a genre that's hard for me to get tired of. Before I rip into what really butchered this movie for me, I salute Johannes Roberts for trying his hardest to replicate the style of the first film, mainly in the first half. You got more family complications, they arrive at this secluded place, then the strangers want to come out and play. I was anxiously awaiting to witness what Roberts would conjure up this round to top some of the brilliant set-pieces of the first film... and, there are some cool moments here, like the man in the mask ramming a car into a house, a fight-out in a swimming pool, and a chase through a playground. There's memorable and pretty magical stuff here, not denying it. A lot of it is decently executed, good sound mixing, some adequate music choices, and two decent kills. Yeah, I'm spoilers now, so if you're really curious about seeing it, only see if you're a fan. My biggest setback arises in the last act. They show the killers' faces and then the two siblings kill all three off... supposedly one lives, cliffhanger nonsense. My issue is doing this goes against everything, I thought, the first installment was trying to establish. By not showing the killers at the end, it left them up to be anonymous, they could be anyone with masks, and that's what made it scary to me. By giving the killers an identity beyond their generic (yet recognizable) faces, it takes away the fear factor... a lot. When the reveal scene happened at the end of Prey At Night, I wasn't really feeling anything I expect Roberts wanted me to. I was just, kind of let-down. The finale is just an exact copy of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, so that was off-putting by that point. I wasn't invested in the tension, I was still hung-over from the reveal that just happened, so I couldn't help noticed the similarity in the final chase. I think it almost harms the original movie, as a movie on it's own credentials, it's just not all anything impressive, excluding the couple of stand-out scenes. I didn't feel any of the same tension the first film carried, so that sets it down a lot, on-top of the flaws it contracts, from the first.

I'll start off with a disclaimer: I've never played the 2013 re-boot of Tomb Raider, I'm not extensively familiar with the character outside her profession and appearance, but I am fan of the Indiana Jones films. The pointless warning set aside, looking at my enjoyment of the feature film as a stand-alone experience, it was mixed. I'm just relieved the movie isn't awful and is a step-up from sub-par "blockbusters" like Black Panther. So that there should tell you were I stand on it and if you're interested in seeing it. The biggest unfortunate misdeed this movie commits is how paint-by-the-numbers it colors, rarely trying to step outside the boundaries of the genre it's copying. No real innovation to distance itself from the likes of Raiders Of The Lost Ark for example, which it's very similar too. Instead of having her father explain the evil curse to another person, maybe to emotionally infuse the viewer to his character, they do a quick narration dump before the title screen. Cut to Lara's every-day life, and we get the Journey To The Center Of The Earth treatment. Learn about father doing much more than his business-life let on, go to hidden location, and adventure happens. There's this really pointless chase in Hong Kong with three burglars, which seemed cool at first, but after it was over, I realized it didn't add much to what was going on. Was it to show how poverty-stricken that area of town is? Hong Kong is full of scum-bags like them? Lara Croft is a self-reliant woman who can take care of herself? My guess it was to have a bit of action, I don't know, the scene just ends up with her meeting the person she was asking for. I must say, Daniel Wu's introduction is rather amusing, playing a drunkard sailor suits him.

But okay, the movie has the most predictable script ever, with a far more inciting history lesson just being a swappable farce, what does this movie do to be average instead of sixth-rate non-sense? A couple things, but the presentation and Junkie XL's score are two big ones. Ignoring the couple of embarrassing green-screen composites, lack of proper stunt-work, and heavy use of CGI in stretches, the direction is good. A slue of memorable and well-choreographed >muh vistas with great lighting, especially in darker locations. Roar Uthaug, never seen any of his other work, does a decent job, however credit most likely goes to George Richmond, known for doing Kingsman. But the single ingrediant Tomb Raider immediately excels is at Walton Goddamn Goggins. I've loved this man in every role I've seen so far, he never sucks. The second he comes into the picture, he steals everything. Every scene he's in he nails to a T. His character, Mathias Vogel, is not as developed as, say, Paul Freeman's Belloq from Raiders, and that's the only downside. You don't get to know why he's doing what he's doing or what he believes in what's going on, just that he has to do what he's doing. Essentially, Goggins is just doing an amazing performance for a henchman, so take that what you will, but he's great every frame he's on. I can't wait to see him be a villain in a Bond movie, it's going to happen eventually. The movie ends with a little twist and a sequel-grab, so yeah, Lara doesn't die, but everyone knew she wouldn't. Will I see it? I don't know. I hope they get a better script next time. It's nothing you haven't seen before, just with a semi-decent palette and couple stunning performances. If you were already excited to see it, go ahead, just keep your expectations low. It's alright.

Finally, a sensational and rousing comedy film that manages to make me laugh... hard... quite a few times. Diego Tutweiller has constructed a good list essay why Marvel movies and other such blockbusters have substandard humor in their writing. Check out the link and read just so you understand a little better. One attribute Diego didn't mention, which I've noticed happen more frequently, note Black Panther, is the cutting-out-the-music tactic. I'm sure you're all familiar with this move, even if you are consciously aware of it. Check this video from Cinemassacre, listing off his least-favorite movie clichés, he touches on the ever-popular stop-for-comedy tool all trailer editors use to make a joke hit harder than how they normally would. This is not an isolated technique only a few companies use, almost every comedy trailer in the past decade uses this. Even the trailer for Game Night is guilty. In the actual movie, that joke doesn't have that cut-away from the soundtrack. Not a fan of it, but it's the norm. The trouble is, this lazy method of "joke-telling" has seeped it's way into actual film productions. We don't even treat movies separate from trailers anymore, it's like now jokes in a movie are written specifically to be edited a way in the trailer. I don't have the clip now, because it's still in theaters, but Black Panther did this multiple times, very clearly. It bugged me when I saw it because I knew how cheap of an attempt at humor it was. It wasn't even a good joke, like, the hoth man just says, "We are vegetarians." It's the opposite of what you expected, and the dramatic music literally stops. It's bullshit.

But yeah, Game Night? Oh yeah, the movie I'm supposed to be talking about. It was great. One of the best constructed comedies of the past few years, it's amazing this comes from the same writer who did Herbie Fully Loaded and The Country Bears... yeah, I'm shocked. I don't know if it was sheer-luck or a lightbulb of genius one of the directors contracted, but the duo along with Mark Perez has strung together not just great reference-humor, but well-timed physical comedy, ironic meta bombs, and above-all else, believable and surprising-ly lovable characters. Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams' duet is excellent and full of rich on-screen chemistry. They fit so well together, you forget you're watching actors say words. I wish I could meet them in person. (◕‸◕) The way they spout off trivia and one-liners alone makes a viewing worth it, these two sell the film themselves. But working alongside them, albeit less so, the supporting cast, including the dumb-ass Ryan played by Billy Magnussen, just adds even more appeal. There's a wonderfully timed scene, minor spoilers for a little joke here, he's handing a businesswoman dollar bills across the table. She wants a hundred dollars, Ryan first slides across a twenty, but as he keeps sliding new bills over, the amount of each one gets lower and lower and the pace he slides them gets slower and slower. The timing of the cuts was so brilliant, I dare say better than the similar joke in Hot Fuzz. It's a cute short skit, but had me laughing out loud with the other people in the theater. I feel explaining the gags would be a huge disservice to the experience, so I won't detail much more. The music is nicely presented, the movie is stylish (I love the way establishing shots make the citiy look like a game-board, that was a brilliant touch), the humor is creative and full of twists, and the cast is memorable as all hell. If you have the chance, check it out, you will be pleasantly surprised and full of joy, if you're like me burnt out on most main-stream humor.

Jesse Plemons is a treasure, his whole act with his ex-wife is some of the funniest shit I've seen in years.