As a lifelong SpongeBob admirer, since I was little, this film feels like the proper jumping off point for most longtime fans. It's the last thing Tim Hill, one of the original creators, will be involved with on the series, and it's the last SpongeBob piece of media that was in production while Stephen Hillenburg was still alive. The in memoriam at the end was a tasteful farewell. But the biggest issues plaguing the film are it's retreads of the 2004 original and it's constant retconning of SpongeBob lore. I know many casual viewers and especially parents will not care at all about any of the changes, but all you have to do is watch season 1 of the show to see how inconsistent and mandated the inclusions are. SpongeBob met Sandy as an adult, same with Squidward, same with Mr. Krabs. And SpongeBob knew Patrick since birth. The Nickelodean enforced 'Camp Coral' spin-off advertisement flashbacks were irritating and ruined what could've been otherwise extremely heartfelt speeches by SpongeBob's friends. I can see I'm not the only one voicing those complaints, so it's upsetting Nick forced them in, especially when Hillenburg was very openly against spin-offs or side shows of the characters. Putting that aside, the animation is gorgeous, rivaling The Peanuts Movie in presentation, and love and care in to the environments. Plenty of easter eggs are afoot, the Patty wagon makes a return, and so much more. It's a feast for the eyes above anything else. There are funny bits, Danny Trejo shows up for a few minutes as the ruler of these ghostly zombie pirates, called El Diablo. Keanu Reeves plays a pretty major character called Sage, a tumbleweed who acts as a voice of guidance, pretty much the Mindy of this film. Snoop Dogg has a short musical number, and Take On Me plays as the film closes. It banks on celebrity appearances and the occasional song reference, but the banter between SpongeBob and Patrick is what keeps it afloat. I think what disappointed me was it never tugged at my heart strings like the original did. There's no similar scene where the duo sing "I'm A Goofy Goober" with their last breath as they're dying. There are glimpses for sure, but never reach that peak. The majority of the runtime is a clone of 'Beavis and Butthead Do America' fused with 'Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius.' I recommend only watching if you are in the same demographic as me. An adult who grew up with the series and wants to see one final film to close the curtain. Because I'm done with the series now that Hillenburg is gone and I'm sure that's exactly what he would've wanted.
"What the fuck did you do to Bruce Lee?"
Tarantino's simplest script, yet biggest production value to date. It's a fairy tale, and Quentin doesn't overcomplicate things. It's just a story of a man who wants more out of fame and a bigger presence in Hollywood, and we see the pieces to reaching those heights are fun, nostalgic fueled remnants of the experimental 60's cinema. It feels a lot like a Roman Polanski film, fitting that the crux of the movie and striving goal for Leo's character, Rick, is to meet the rising director. It uses the era and it's celebrities to tell a more fantastical and satisfying story that looks back on the decade with extreme fondness. If Stranger Things is a sucker for the 80's, this blows it's rose tinted goggles off it's face. It's worth watching this for it's atmosphere and presentation. Much of the budget is spent recreating the entire Los Angeles city, getting down to the costumes, vehicles, set dressing, and most of all, the films and stars of the era. He really dug up a vault of the films that were coming out, the variety and accuracy to what was being shown, rather than it just being a blanket of all popular movies that came out the decade, is oddly lovely. Despite the story not being accurate, given then Manson murders in this do not at all go like how it went down, the window dressing on top of it is the most accurate a period piece of this time has looked since a real film from then. I'm glad Quentin didn't go convoluted this time. It's an inviting heartwarming at times and rowdy revisit to his favorite part of Hollywood.
It's The Revenant without the Tom Hardy revenge plot. It is exactly that, only in the process, our lead befriends a wild wolf. There isn't much else to say than that. It's basic shit, but all in service of some of the best cinematography and visual effects I've seen for a movie in a while. Albert Hughes seems to have a pretty solid track record of films, and his DP Martin Gschlacht does well taking cues from Zack Snyder and Larry Fong. So many shots in this look like they're out of Watchmen or 300. There's lots of good symmetrical framing, usually against something in the distance like mountains, or a sunset, or a herd of wildebeests, and they make sure to rack up the slow motion for the really impressive ones. It's almost like a ballet, every element is beautifully aligned to upmost perfection. At times, it's too perfect. Maybe the digital elements and sometimes CG animals hurt the illusion of a gritty environment, the opposite of the hand held approach of The Revenant. But still, there's some elegant work here, it benefits seeing in a large auditorium. It feels like those 45 minute IMAX shows they do in, like, museums, or Baraka, only this is a longer feature. I'm not sure if this movie will hold up on home formats, I'd have to check it out on the 4K television, but if you're at all interested in seeing this, see it now in theaters. Don't wait for the digital download, go on a ticket discount day.
"He gets in your head, like a virus."
There is no way I can approach this movie with that score without looking like I'm out of my fucking mind. I unfortunately have to side with Jeremy Jahns on this. I don't understand what makes this movie so inexplicably worse than other shit like Winchester, Truth or Dare, The First Purge, and so on. And let me just say, I don't think Slender Man is that great, far from it. I want to see what the inevitable Blu-ray extended cut will feature that hopefully completes the fractured narrative this has. To watch the first trailer and then see my favorite parts from the trailer are just flat out missing, was a bummer to me. But, I think the film offers more in the way of genuine scares and creepy imagery than most other horror movies of the last few years. All too often, we audience bitch about the use of incessant and cheap jump scares, and this one does have some, but the most memorable parts are the montages with seizure inducing flashes of disturbing and abstract pictures. It earns it's jumps and uses them in the right places. There is a strong component in this that relies on psychological horror, and asking the viewer the question, "Are these characters just imagining all of this or are they going insane?" People are complaining there is a lack of a story, but I felt it was there, just placed more subtly. This isn't a movie that has an easy to follow beat for beat story like IT or A Quiet Place. I'm not saying this is smarter written than those, no, but what's done here is reliance on the characters being appealing enough that you just follow them along as they break down mentally. Since I rather dug the teenagers here, as opposed previously mentioned trash, I found it easy to get into the transpiring events. The film is set in a small, mostly run down town, and the surprisingly not obnoxious four lead girls all have unhappy lives, one has an abusive father, and their group wish is to skip town and just go somewhere, kind of like the seniors in American Graffiti. What makes the pay off all the more a real closure is, they technically got their wish, they did leave, just not the way they wanted to. They're now in another dimension. The story starts off simple, they watch a video and then one of the friends goes missing, but the rest of the movie is them hopelessly trying find a way to stop the psychosis. One of my favorite parts is the reveal that Wren desperately used Hallie's sister as practically a sacrifice to appease the Slender Man to get him to go away. The performances these kids puts on is more raw than I expected, I actually believed I was watching some kids on the brink of mental collapse. Okay, enough spoiling, I'll get into more of the technical shit I liked. There's good use of mystery here. It could've been honed in collectively better, but they tried. This hearkens back to the glory days of The Ring and my favorite horror film of all time, Sinister, where the use of technology, old and new, is implemented in their resources figure out the Slender Man mystery. The stuff I crave that I don't seen enough films do is the "found footage" prop, or the "Once you see it, you'll shit brix" element that scares me the most. When Hallie is looking at online videos of "supposed" Slender Man encounters, pauses one, and sees the figure in the background, that's what gets to me. The fear of not knowing something was actually there is what I love; and it raises the question further, is Slender Man just tinkering with the footage or was here there? That's what this film really excels at: making you paranoid. The shots of the woods are beyond excellent. While there's a lot of dark color work, it works, as the on location shoot they did implemented a lot of fog, to highlight the silhouettes of the trees. This movie repeatedly pulls out the rug from the viewer and has the thin Slender Man emerge from an object, pole, or tree that looks like him. It happens multiple times, so eventually, you become on the edge, looking all over the screen, waiting for him to come out. Once that effect hits you, that's what you'll see when you walk outside at night. Couple that with some of the best sound design of this year, you have a movie that has quite a few tense and shake inducing sequences. Everything here has a pattern, three bell sounds, three knocks on the door, the attention to detail is exquisite at times. Maybe I'm stretching for qualities that are present in other, better, movies, but I really got a kick out of the presentation offered here. They didn't twist the mythology of the title character at all, if anything, they were too faithful, and that's why they had to cut it down. I loved the use of a real actor and costume for the Man, even if it got overshadowed by the giant CG leg monster that unwinds at the end. This is all wholly subjective, and maybe I just have the worst taste imaginable, but I have to wonder where the complaints are coming from other than picking on the movie being "made too late" or "it has no story" or other empty complaints I keep seeing regurgitated. Give credit where credit is due. I'm not saying the film is immune from criticism, I think the story is actually incomplete, but I got a massive high from it's colonial subtle creepiness and mystery restraints. Sony, please release the footage that was clearly shot, finished, and promptly cut, for the home video release. We need to see what was removed. I'm going to see this again, and later with the cut stuff, to further evaluate if maybe I was reaching here, or I actually think this movie is underrated.
I'm shocked. A balls deep, nonplussing emotional, clever horror trip with some shocks and pleasant punches. It seems studios are taking a look at their failed first installments, i.e. Ouija, now Unfriended, and actually making the effort to improve upon what didn't work. I say, it's a welcome surprise. From the trailer alone, I wanted nothing to do with Dark Web, I was laughing at the concept (and screaming at the normies), but meanwhile praising the teaser of similar project Searching. I walked in this expecting to hate it, but as it slowly built up, I found myself enjoying it. Stephen Susco's directorial debut, who he previously wrote the two Grudge remakes, pulls so meaty and slick twists. I'm not sure how much research he did into the dark web, but he kept the reality faithful enough with only taking a few liberties. It still bugs me they use the glitchy static whenever something evil is "on-screen." It wouldn't distort, it would just lag and buffer. But the nitpicks aside, they go it where it counts. They even implemented Remote Desktop Control, I love it. The type of blocking Susco implements with programs being open and shit made me roll my head back smiling at how ingenious some of it was. A livestream would be open on one tab will be playing a camera from one angle, but then on another tab hidden under in the corner will start showing something moving on same stream, meanwhile a message comes up in the other corner of the screen. It's difficult to explain, this was an elaborate set up, I can't imagine pulling all these elements together, but that part where Serena has to pick between her girlfriend or her mom had me rolling. But said having said that, it could lead into one of the bigger issues with movie, and I didn't much care for the six lead characters. Oh, they sure try, they try to make me care, and it works at a few parts. But, half the time, despite how evil (and grossly unrealistic) their actions, I was rooting for the Charon's to take the step further. Come on, hacking into Aj's computer and playing a shotgun cock sound as his house is getting swatted so he gets shot? Terrible, but I was near screaming in the theater. I won't say anything else they do, but it gets way better. There wasn't as much violence as I expected (hardly any blood), but the fast pace and twisted scenarios sufficed any bloodshed. Susco outdid himself on the direction. Just a mouse cursor spinning rapidly to capture the emotions of the character you can't see on camera, little details like that make this brilliant. It's full of 'em. If you were having any doubts about this like I was, it could surprise you. A fun and stirring little experience. Based on the ending, it really should've been called Game Night. Guess they had to change it after another release came out this year.
I got about what I was expecting, and I like it a lot. I had my eye on this from the first time I saw the trailer; I loved the idea. Now that it's been released, and promptly bombed at the box office, is it worth spending an overpriced ticket to go see? Based on my values, I say go with MoviePass, discount Tuesday, or wait to buy it when it's less expensive. Don't let that warning dissuade you from seeing it, I'm just sick of these ridiculously high prices. Bad Samaritan has a lot going for it. It's Dean Devlin's best movie, it's David Tennant's best performance ever, and the script is incredibly creepy and interesting, borrowing a couple ingredients from Psycho and The Silence Of The Lambs. It aims for the mainstream sensibilities at a time or two, but I was happy that it treated itself seriously for the majority of it's two hours. It has an engaging concept, that employs most of it's potential. It like keeps track of everything the audience may pick out as something that could've happened, and actually follows up on it. Quick example, Tennant opens a video chat with the robber? He takes a screenshot as evidence, instead of just closing the phone in fear, or some shit. The two leads are robbers, who cleverly break into people's houses using their valet cars, but then they come across one who happens to be a sadomasochist or a murder. I totally dug this, and Devlin executed it carefully, with great editing and set pieces. The characters acted with realism, like real people. There's something about the way these actors are directed that make it leagues better than what Truth Or Dare did. Robert Sheehan pulls out an unexpected vigorous performance as the robber who feels guilt for what he's done before, and now wants to help this victim. You feel genuine sadness for this man, I did not expect this. I was just heading in rooting for Tennant to destroy everything and win. The finale in the snow is one of the better climaxes in the past few years, beautiful design. All the tension built from the past two acts encapsulates in a stand-off. The big problem is it's undercut by a totally out-of-place joke. I get what they were setting up, I even just realized that, but still doesn't change that all the tension I felt had been ruined by it. However, if you're searching an original, gravely creepy thriller that utilizes a lot of it's premise, believable performances from the entire cast, and unforgettable set pieces, seek this one out.
FUCK
So, here's the thing: I grew up with a family dog. That means this movie is automatically great, because I have a deep, emotional attachment to the character's identity on-screen. I've never told anyone this, I've never typed it before, but you're all hearing it first, courtesy of me. Let me tell you about myself, instead of informing you about the quality of the movie. I'm in college, a film student, and an inspired fan of Wes Anderson's grossly overused and distracting aesthetic. I love the colors purple and orange, I'm a great driver, and I'm working on a novel, but I'm having writer's block. Wes Anderson is all I hear about in class, which I really appreciate. He's so much better than other "filmmakers" out there, with his gorgeous CINEMATOGRAPHY, and his phenomenal DIRECTION, he's the biggest auteur in the business right now, not like scumbags like Michael Bay, who are just ruining this industry. I got emotionally connected from the first frame of this movie, when I recognized Anderson's flat and symmetrical art style. Literal chills and goosebumps. From there, it was a roller-coaster of epidemic proportions. You aren't ready for these feels. We need a movie like this, in the current year we live in. When, by executive decree, all the canine pets of Megasaki City are exiled to a vast garbage-dump called Trash Island, 12-year-old Atari sets off alone in a miniature Junior-Turbo Prop and flies across the river in search of his bodyguard-dog, Spots. There, with the assistance of a pack of newly-found mongrel friends, he begins an epic journey that will decide the fate and future of the entire Prefecture. Overall, I would recommend this film.
i'm gonna go shoot my head off now
Well, this is interesting. What makes the experience work is the dichotomy between the two lead actresses. Without them and Anton Yelchin to boost the script, I don't think the movie would work as effectively. Olivia Cooke does a strong job, oddly, playing a character who bares no emotions, and Anya Taylor-Joy, whom I loved from Split and The Witch leaves another fine role to add to her résumé. Unfortunately, the trailers, which I did not watch before seeing the movie, give the film off to be dark comedy, when in reality, it's a deliberately slow-burn drama in the vein of Yorgos Lanthimos. There are humorous moments to be sure, but none of them come off as deliberate comedy, just natural dialect. The core of the story is a drama about a girl wanting to escape her step-father and she's caught in the middle with a weird friend, who had something traumatizing happen to her. Yelchin doesn't have as big of part as some might expect, but regardless, he still nails the act of an overly-confident druggie who thinks he's hot-shit. The script is nothing remarkably spectacular or refreshing, but watching the main two bounce conversations off each-other upgrade the work. If you get a kick out of some slow drama mixed with splendid tension, try it out.
R.I.P. Anton Yelchin
fuck that bear scene and fuck that camera footage
This is the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. movie I've always wanted. The disturbing imagery, psychological exploration, atmosphere, tension, it's all out of this world. The over-grown, disturbing, but entrancing layout of the shimmer is the long-awaited Chernobyl and Fallout-esque landscape I've wanted to see explored on-screen for years; but yes, it goes way beyond that. Ignoring it's few-and-far-between narrative hiccups, Annihilation is the one of few films in the past decade to have my full-attention start to finish. Come on, we all do this. I wasn't bouncing around ideas for my script for my review while I was watching, I wasn't thinking of other things in my mind as scenes passed by. Absolutely not, I was all in for this one. The story isn't what I'd consider too-brainy for the box office, in fact a number of it's themes are blatantly spelled out through dialogue, but that doesn't mean it isn't interesting as hell. It's just abstract, which is what may be turning off the common audience. Despite it's on the nose nature, possibly from Paramount's pressures to make the movie more accessible, it manages to delve more into it's greater questions about evolution of life itself; the whole hour and forty minute journey of this project is a jaw-dropping experience. As I humorously stated above, there are a few very disturbing and shocking scenes here, so steer clear if you're squeamish at all, I was getting Sinister flashbacks.
The thing I've hated about a lot of productions coming out, is a lot of them fully grasp their potential. What do I mean? Many works, The Dark Tower comes to my mind, for example, may introduce a compelling plot point, like the main character has a connection to this object, or, this side-character came from an abused family, I don't know, some casual beat of the story that's introduced. But a lot of times what happens, is a segment like that is brought up, only to further move the story along, and that beat is totally ignored afterwards. I keep thinking, why not make the movie longer and tap into these really exciting ideas? You've got the base, go all the way with what you can within the story's limits. Go all the way. A real-world example, Silent Hill: Revelation, the master-piece-of-shit sequel to one of my favorite movies of all time, had an added set of characters that were introduced mid-way into the run-time, and the woman in the pair basically said, "We took a wrong turn, we got lost in the fog." And all I kept thinking was, "Why aren't we seeing that? That sounds like a cool and creepy tangent."
But even beyond that, not just plot-points, central themes of a movie. What I was worried, with Annihilation, was the environment in the shimmer is so fascinating and absorbing, I began to worry at a point the movie wouldn't explore it. It wouldn't show off much of the environment and what it's effects have been on what stays in it. But thankfully, it does tap into that realm, so I am satisfied. I kept saying, "Come on, come on, you're so close, just keep going with this creepy sequence," until finally, "Yes! You did it. You went all DAE way with it. I am happy." If there's one thing I hate about movies more than any other quality, it's untapped potential. Having a cool set-up only to go nowhere. Thankfully, Annihilation goes a long way and satisfies. If you want to be creeped the hell out, go see it right now.
You know, I gave this a below-average score when I initially watched it, but after thinking about this movie's place in the current wave of animated movies, I've bumped it up to a luke-warm recommendation. What do I mean? With the rise in such classic animated films to come out like The Emoji Movie and The Boss Baby, I almost feel obligated to recommend this movie just on the basis that it didn't insult my intelligence, and is a fine movie for children (or adults who are young at heart). I give the director Jayson Thiesson credit for going all out with the material and attempting to make this a Disney-style musical. The animation notably harkens back to great kid's films like The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, the character Pinkie Pie expressing some pretty colorful and eccentric faces. The point is, the animation is note-worthy, yes, it's all digital, but the work put in deserves appreciation more than some of the shit CG-movies out now. The bar has been set that low. The music is decent, encompassing a live orchestra to fuel the rather catchy songs, the characters are unique and recognizable, and overall, wasn't a chore to sit through. Remember, this wasn't made for me, but I'm glad it respects the adult viewers who are there watching. It's one of the better kid's movies to come out, we need to be encouraging this stuff, so, if you are an adult reading this, it's a decent pick to watch... well, if your kids haven't already asked to see it.
Sony's Wreck-It Ralph. That's not an over-praising of this movie. It's a lot like that movie both in style and story elements, as it pokes fun references to most habits of video games. Like Disney's Wreck-It Ralph, there's lots of great character arcs and sweet moments, genuinely funny scenes, a heartfelt conclusion, and supremely creative fast-paced action. A bit of the story could use work in the last two acts. Some of the epic-feel that the first act presented was a little lost among the humor and formulaic story beats the last two acts kept striving for. There's the awkward romantic sub-plot involving two pairs of the group, a dramatic reveal of one of the introduced characters, a little tangent where a shut-in character is taught to do something brave and out-going, and etc. In comparison to Disney's movie, there's a lot of pretty clever in-jokes about the nature of video games, such as quick-time events, cut-scenes, and NPC's only have a limited range of programmed responses in conversations. What I wish the movie did was go all DAE way, just go nuts with it's premise and tackle video games as a whole. Go insane. Imagine what this movie could've been like if it went into hacking and using physics cheating like the shit you'd see in Garry's Mod servers. Holy lord, I'd pay to see that. But, you know, they got to keep things simple for most audiences, and that's okay. What makes the movie work very well, is it's characters and their interactions with one another. What delighted me was I was able to forget I was watching The Rock and Kevin Hart be themselves. They managed to pull performances that fit right in with their corresponding written characters (The ones outside the video game world). They felt subdued enough that it didn't feel like I was just watching celebrities on-screen acting stupid. Sure, there's stupid and way over-exaggerated jokes, but it works, and it's part of the fun. The whole movie works to certain degrees and that's what surprises me. I expected to just walk out so uninspired and lost on many of what it attempts to do, but I found myself smiling and some-what giggling along with the rest of the crowd, who were howling with laughter.
This is what a blockbuster should be. I'm not saying remake all old properties, but if you must, do something different with it. Give it a reason to exist. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle overcomes all of it's obstacles, remaking an "unremakable" classic, being branded with infamous Sony pictures, and having just general low expectations among other movies released around the same time. It's not perfect, there's beats I had issues with and there was a lot more that could've been developed, but as is, this Jumanji sequel explodes and roars a breath of relieving fresh air and was a lot of fun, something I don't say about most blockbusters of today. I'm looking at you, every shit Marvel movie released this year. Surprising to find the director of this mostly did adult comedies before this.
EDIT: I would almost give this movie a 7/10 or something just slightly above what I gave it. Marcus Nispel gorgeously directed this movie. Really great work all around with the design and look of the feature.
Definitely some likable elements and it's worth a watch, but it loses some of the haunting atmosphere the original had. That's not to say there's isn't tension in this movie, as there is quite a bit, and it follows the same idea of a psychotic area of Texas, rather than just one killer. However, the tone and execution are completely different. If there's one thing I have to give credit to this movie over the original is the characters are a little more believable to me. While Marilyn Burns and crew were great fun to watch previously, their characters had the depth and intrigue of walking cardboard cut-outs. That was one of the only complaints I had with the original, but it didn't matter, because it's atmosphere and setting is what made up for it. This time around, the atmosphere is slightly lost, but the gore, scares, and character development is upped a lot. Here's how I envision both of these movies. The original is the nightmare retelling of what the events were like. The remake is like the archival footage. The original wasn't very realistic in it's presentation or execution, making the film looking like a re-enactment, which worked. But now, in an attempt to update, the remake looks like real events transpiring in real-time. You get what I mean?
Just like with the Nightmare remake, some clever character write-ins were a nice bonus and expansion on the original's story, but unlike the Nightmare reboot, I don't know if enough was done here to fully warrant a remake. I still like it and appreciate all it's glorious chainsaw showmanship, but I don't think it's as great as the original. Still very good.
Shame. If you've seen ANY of the previous Saw movies, or have an IQ above 80, you'll see every twist coming a mile away. This almost feels like a Saw fan film, to be honest. It's lost that epic and convoluted feel the previous installments had, something I actually found enjoyment in. This is one of the better directed Saw movies, but certainly the weakest in terms of the writing, with the twist ending being the lamest and underdeveloped twist I've seen yet in the series. The mystery element is extremely predictable, and like I've said, if you know the plot elements from the earlier movies, you'll predict what happens, easily. For example, in the movie, the detectives and doctors are dumbfounded that the killer's blood matches up and is under the victim's finger-nails. even though, the killer's been dead for 10 years. I immediately remembered back what happened in SAW V, when Hoffman, one of the original killers, used another person's finger-prints to handle a body, pinning the blame on them. And guess what, that's exactly what happens here. Someone planted the original killer's blood under the finger-nails. Nice original twist, you got there, guys. The only reason I'd recommend checking this out on video are some of the kills, which are pretty cool, but there's nothing here that screams a theater experience. I went against judgment from others, telling me to not bother, but I went anyways because I'm a Saw fan, but I'm a little disappointed. Seeing Tobin Bell in the role was cool and some traps were nice, but just overall, lame.
Deliver Us From Evil, it starts off in a rather unusual location, following scouts in 2010 Iraq, giving us a brief action sequence. Things take a turn for the worse and the 3 person group discovers an underground mine where something goes wrong. Cut ahead 3 years, we follow Ralph Sarchie, played by the talented Eric Bana, he and his partner get involved with a strange case of a wall painter having to do something with the supernatural. Sarchie is put in a desperate situation, as he continues to follow the case, his mental state begins to deteriorate.
What makes the movie intriguing, like Sinister, is the mystery element that's written into here, and the clever cinematic techniques that play into delivering the audience clues. Notice how all the jump-scares in the movie are only done using animals or the wall painter? They're not randomly placed jumps for the sake of having them. All the possessed people clawing on the ground, a trait of that typically of cats? I'm going to waste time going through all the little tie-ins that connect with either character traits or story conclusions, but it's there. It's pretty smartly written actually. But with that said, what drags the movie down at points is the slow pace and uninteresting scenes with the father Sarchie interacts with, played by Édgar Ramírez. I think the man is a great actor, but parts of the story where he was around dragged the story to a halt. I'm not sure if they really could cut out some of his scenes, as this was adapted from a book and supposedly "real-life" events, so whatever. Another unfortunate problem is some scenes are unnecessarily long. A little trimming in the editing room could've helped a bit. But overall, satisfaction wise, there's a lot to like here. It's not the standard horror trope fare some reviewers are pushing it as. Derrickson's brilliance is still all over the picture and I just had fun seeing his direction mixed with the great soundtrack. One thing I would've liked to see more of was the detectives combing through security footage and finding creepy shit. There was some of that, but it was few and far between. Add more of that, and this movie would've bumped up even more.
I'm tired, so I'm not going to write all my thoughts, but I'll share the big ones. It's not scary. There you go. There's a few creepy moments here and there, but surprisingly didn't jump once while watching nor am I scared by Pennywise. Depending on your fear of clowns or amaze of Skasgard's acting job, the results may vary. But that said, the movie is badass. I view this as more like an Evil Dead or Drag Me To Hell type movie. Where, like there are creepy and disturbing shit happening, but you more react like, "Ooo, that's cool. That was awesome." Whenever Pennywise was on-screen, I was just fucking entertained, so that's how I view it. When he started dancing, I was on the verge of laughing. My dad also compared the movie to Beetlejuice, which is a perfect comparison. IT (2017) is basically an R-rated The Goonies with Beetlejuice thrown in, and it is awesome.
What elevates this movie up even further is that it has lovable characters you actually want to see come out on top, something I can't say for other horror installments lately. Bill and Georgie's relationship was actually heartbreaking, when I didn't expect it to be. Overall, just a lovable gang of outsiders who have to take on a killer clown. Great stuff here and so many good quotes from each the kids. But yeah, it's not scary, but it's slick, stylish, fucking hilarious at times, has a couple creepy moments, and Pennywise is the demonic Beetlejuice of modern movies. I'm actually looking forward to Chapter Two.
This isn't war. It's a game
Absolutely go see it. Aaron Taylor-Johnson is so great in this movie. The entire run-time of this feature could be his Best Actor Winner clip show reel. His dramatic and enticing performance in this just blew me away. You feel the pain he feels as he's pinned down to a small brick wall, being forced to remove a bullet from his leg, watching his partner being pushed to the ground by sniper-point; it's a lot like Dunkirk, but without the music. No music plays the whole movie. Isaac, played by Johnson, and his partner, played by John Cena, are currently out investigating a pipeline in Iraq when things go from suspicious to a nightmare. Cena's character gets pinned down after being shot by an unidentified sniper named Juba. Isaac is forced to stay behind a wall to hide from the shooter that that has both of them pinned down. From there, the movie becomes one big chess game. The sniper wants to get information from Isaac by talking to him over his radio transmission. What he wants to do with that information, we don't know yet. I actually don't want to say that much, in fear of spoiling, but this movie engrossed me from beginning to end. I've never seen an hour and a half fly by that quickly. I wasn't bored at any moment during this. You're constantly on the edge of your seat questioning what's going. The pieces slowly become clearer as time goes on, and the sniper's motivations, I suppose, are what constitutes as the the "twist" ending. The reveal will make you have one of two reactions... or both. Flipping fantastic stuff. You start to like it the more you think about it. I only loved it even more as I thought about while driving home from the theater. The actors did an incredible job with the material they were given, it's not exactly the happiest movie you'll ever see, but it sucked me in so much. One of my favorite movies of 2017 so far.
This one will be a hard movie for me to judge. I'm just going to have to voice whatever comes to my mind as I'm typing, because this was a very interesting and all-over-the-place kind of experience for me.
Alright, so basically, Percy Fawcett is a British officer commissioned to lead an expedition to find a hidden city in the middle of South America. You pretty much know what the movie is going to be like just based on that short description.
Charlie Hunnam does a great job playing a troubled husband who becomes gradually more obsessed with finding this city, but it's not like he goes insane as a result. Throughout the whole movie, he just wants to find it. It's not like he gets PTSD from exploring the jungle and it cripples his interactions with his family.
In fact, the final expedition has him voyaging off with his son, who actually pleaded to join him. There's a great scene in the middle where this oldest son, played by - 's Tom Holland, starts to chastise his father for abandoning his children and his wife, to which Percy slaps his son as he walks towards him. What makes the scene great is how realistic it is. Families have these kind of dramatic quarrels all the time, and it doesn't affect Percy and his son's interactions. This takes place before the son wants to join him on the expedition.
Robert Pattinson excellently plays Henry Costin, who voluntarily joins Percy after finding out about the expedition, revealing he has knowledge of the Amazonia. I didn't even recognize it was Pattinson until about halfway through the movie, but his acquaintanceship with Hunnam was very natural and likable.
Sienna Miller does a good job with the material she's given. I don't recall her having any giant dramatic moments, just her getting annoyed every now and then. They try to throw in some "feminist" message at one point in the movie, but it doesn't go anywhere and doesn't amount to anything. Still, she did a nice job with what she had.
I think the best way I would describe this movie to someone else is, "It's like if they took and and mixed them up as they please." It's a daring exploration movie that feels like it was made in the 90's. It's a period-piece movie that has the camera work and framing of a movie that was made with 1990's equipment. That sounds like a weird way of describing the visuals of the movie, but you'll see what I mean when you watch it.
Another weird point of the visual style that I kind of liked was the odd choice in the color palette. There are no pure whites anywhere in the movie. It was color corrected to have yellows in the white highs of the saturation. It gives the movie this dreamy feel, something I only started to really notice about towards the middle. Like, the clouds in the sky are fucking yellow. It's weird, but I like it.
The ending is very bold and a little sad, but it's based on a true story, so I can't expect them to have done something different. I'm not going to spoil it and I implore you to not look it up before-hand. Go see it without knowing.
I liked the movie a lot, it's always nice to see something fresh come out into theaters, and I definitely look forward to reviewing more of these kind of movies in the future. (Getting really sick of superhero movies, to be honest). I just think it needed to be tightened up a tiny bit in editing and needed a little better of a soundtrack. Otherwise, it was a great experience.
I got the chance to see the film again, this time without the muddy 3D. Boy, oh boy, did removing the 3D glasses make this movie better. I guess the glasses darkened the picture, because now, in standard 2D, the colors popped even more this time.
Anyways, I still really enjoyed this film. I got the chance to purchase the art book and read through the production. Matt Damon got really involved with the project, spending over 6 months in China to get this dream made into a reality. Quite an interesting read, I recommend picking it up. Lots of gorgeous artwork in it too.
As for this film, this time, I was actually able to focus on the story and dialogue a little bit more this time. The first viewing I was little bit more focused on the visuals. I admit, the script should've gone through just one more rewrite. That, or the film needed an extra 10 minutes added. Some scenes feel a little too short, and the funeral sequence came a little too early with not enough build-up to it. It kind of feels like the studio forced the filmmakers to trim the movie down to less than 2 hours, which I think is a mistake. I was a little more satisfied with the ending this time, but I still wish it was longer.
That's the only thing I can really complain about this movie: I wish it was a longer. I guess that's a good thing, that I want more of it, but that's also a negative. I think if it was a tad longer and some scenes were a little more fleshed out, this could be a GREAT film, and not just VERY GOOD.
I still really liked it and I think it is underrated. If you still haven't seen it, I recommend checking it out. Be sure to read my original review for more on the film.
As a kaiju monster movie from the studio themselves, Toho Productions, it's a freaking blast.
As an adaptation of the original manga, it's complete bullshit.
With that out of the way, it's a guilty pleasure for me. Since I'm such a geek for monster films, I loved that the titans in this movie were all portrayed with puppets and men in suits. It was like watching a silly Godzilla movie from the 60's, with Eren as a titan jumping in the air and drop-kicking another titan in the face. It's super ridiculous and over-the-top, but it can be really enjoyable if you like that sort of thing.
The story does crawl a bit during the middle, but enough twists are presented to keep you interested. This is not a well-done adaptation. Hell, this isn't really a great story on it's own right. It's a cheesy silly monster movie with barely fleshed out characters.
The music by Shiro Sagisu is also just as a great as he always is. It sounds a little derivative of Evangelion 3.0 at times, but 'Temper The Wind' is easily the best track on the whole album. I'd argue the score is better than the movie.
This movie suffers from a little problem. It doesn't know if it wants to go balls to the wall horror with the violence and show graphic imagery, or be tame enough so those just getting into horror can be comfortable. I would say it goes for the Carpenter angle and tries to play a mystique towards it's killer. Hell Fest's greatest claim to it's name is it's location. You'd think because it's just a shitty little movie, the sets and costuming would be lame, but it's the opposite. This place almost puts Halloween Horror Nights to shame. It's so elaborate and unrealistically over the top, there are definitely some park regulation violations. The costumes are so grotesque; dripping liquid and touching visitors as they walk down the paths. I find it hard to believe this is a traveling amusement park, some of the rides are built into like the wooden bridges of the park. I don't see how they could pack all this stuff up. But if the nitpick part of your brain can ignore the limitations of reality, it's beautiful to look at. The park is beaming with lights, decorations, stage shows, and set pieces. It's probably the most detailed amusement park I've seen on film. The movie's other greatest claim to fame is it's clever idea, sticking an actual killer into this horror themed park. You'd never know who was the guy because he blends into all the scenery and actors. The mask he wears is even a park issued prop for the actors. He can just walk up and kill someone and no one would know it's for real, or even creepier, the guests would laugh it off. There's some real great shit going on with this premise and they take advantage of it multiple times. On this stage, the main character's ditzy friend is participating in a sacrificing act where she'll be put in a guillotine, but it's revealed the guy performing it is the killer that's been stalking them all night. The way the scene slows down as the lead tries to warn the guards about what's about to happen, it actually puts you on edge. You wonder will the man kill her right on stage in front of the audience, or fool the lead as part of the act. It's a great moment. The biggest issue I have with the movie comes down to parts of it's script. There are too many scenes where the killer stalks them like in the bathroom or the back alleys of the park, away from the crowds of guests. They fell into the trap of doing the "character isolated from the group" dreck. The whole gimmick is the guy can kill anyone in plain sight, and they only do it a few times. Killing the lead's boyfriend in the employee locker room sucks. Why couldn't he do it right in her face and make it seem like part of a performance? And, aside from our head girl and her surprisingly likable boyfriend, the rest of the friends are just eccentric party goers, but luckily, the way scenes are paced still makes you care who's going to die, which I can happily say about this over many other generic slashers. The only other obvious glaring issue is the last half hour, which is an overly long chase through a couple of the haunted houses. It's a fun sequence for like five minutes, but then well overstays it's welcome. If someone could just edit it down, and then put in some alternate scenes with more murders in plain sight of the crowds of visitors, this could easily be one of my favorites of the year. But as now, it's just a fun little time.
I had to see it twice to confirm if I was crazy that I enjoyed this conventional safe corporate product. and to see Statham naked again, i ain't gay You all know what this is and what to expect from it. Just look at the poster and the title. The bar for quality has been set right there. But does that make experience inherently not worth bothering with? Would you be satisfied putting your money down for it? I can argue I got my money's worth, even if some of the blood and gore was neutered to reach a PG-13 and Chinese market. A shame uncut and more grotesque scenes were filmed, but will never be completed due to money. Despite it's lack of Piranha 3D ludicrous blood shed, there is a lot of action and spectacle to be had with The Meg. The plot is nothing more inventive than what The Asylum and syfy would greenlit, I've never read the novel, so I can't speak for the consistency. What bolsters the script up from it's depths of potential obscurity, is it's high budget crowd pleasing intuition. Lots of emphasis on quips, something I'm usually against, but luckily are implemented smoothly into each character. Not everyone is a damn comedian, it just feels more natural, only once did I feel the placement of a joke was unneeded. This is like what you'd expect from an old 70's exploitation flick, Statham is like the classic adventure hero; even one scene, he lifts his hat up like Indiana Jones. After a traumatizing incident in which he's forced to leave behind a group of people to save another set, he quits diving and retires to Thailand. But when an ocean trench expedition involving his ex-wife goes wrong, he's persuaded to come back in and help. The first half of the film is like Deep Blue Sea, setting up the locations in characters; it's more of a rescue set-up for the megalodon to come in later. It's not like the story of Gareth Edwards' Godzilla, how Godzilla's origins are deeply intertwined into the narrative. This, you could replace the shark with any deep sea creature, it doesn't matter too much, except for the finale. Once the titular monster comes on screen, the movie officially begins. From there, you get the dumb fun you want, and there's a good amount of it. Want to see the shark swallow a diving cage whole? Sure, why not? Anything you want to see the shark do, it's in here somewhere. It's like Rampage in the sense it understands you just want dumb fun. I can respect a blockbuster that doesn't aim for quality, just looking to give you loads of delicious flavorful eye candy. What makes something like this work over another "dumb fun" blockbuster like Pacific Rim: Uprising, comes down to two things: The Meg isn't a sequel with expectations to be lived up to, and there's a competent story, start to finish. While it's not original, could be to blame that the novel is old, it works enough. The characters make up for any tiny lack of shark presence. If we can get more Asian actors in front of the camera like this, by all means, go for it. I'm just a sucker for the Asian aesthetic, see, this whole movie takes place in China and stars one of the country's biggest stars, so you can see why it's doing so great at the box office. This is how you do a silly summer cheese fest, it's not too over the top, it understands you want to see the shark, it has a classic story behind it, and places emphasis on the leads being at least entertaining to latch onto. Did any of you notice the nod to Jaws at the end? When the Meg sinks to the bottom of the ocean, it makes the same growling sound the blown up shark in Jaws did. Trivial knowledge for the hardcore fans out there.
I watched this again, with my father, in preparation to see The Meg, 'cause I was worried hearing reports the upcoming film was neutered of it's blood soaked glory. I wanted to compensate any blue balls I thought I would have by first drowning myself in wild girls tits and ripped apart penises before inevitable disappointment. I think Piranha loses some of it's enjoyment on repeat viewings, but there's enough over the top fun and classic b-movie antics to keep all horror fans satisfied. It's crazy to see such a crass and low brow endeavor like this film get critical acclaim from critics. The effects aren't the greatest, the story is childish, but the greatest attribute it boasts I proudly agree with is it doesn't hold back. This is a clear cut modern example of not taking yourself seriously, just having fun with your premise. You want to see an entire lake of spring breakers get ripped to fucking shreds with blood and gore everywhere? You will most definitely get it and more. You want to see Christopher Lloyd briefly reprise his role as Doc Brown raving about the piranhas? You got it. Want to see Eli Roth get his head cut off? You bet your ass you'll get it. Want Adam Scott to shoot piranhas with a shotgun while riding a jet ski? It's here, baby. How about tearing the shit out of them with a boat propeller detached like a chainsaw? I'll stop spoiling the fun. It's a crazy match made in heaven, few "don't take yourself seriously" films like Sharknado hit that very specific sweet spot that makes the film fun as hell to watch, but not in a laughing at it bad way. Piranha 3D is the very rare gore fest that knows how to have loads of genuine summer fun; a return to 80's exploitation.
I mean, it's better than whatever the Dark Universe is doing. Shit, I saw this a couple days ago at my awesome local AMC, but I forgot to log it. The film doesn't have as much staying power as I would like, kind of shame, 'cause I really dig cute animated features, and the horror genre. This is a child friendly mix of both, but it's only stand out qualities it has to show for is Genndy's expressive animation, and I mean wacky as fuck stuff, and it's line up of Transylvanian monsters. So call me biased for giving this an above average rating, but it's presentation is what I got a high off. Also, that godforsaken airplane Gremlins bit, oh my god I want more of that. I mean, if you're just looking for a safe time at the theater on a like a discount day, this is the perfect option. Your gelatinous offspring will eat it up, you will like the monsters and action, and the theater gets money. Everyone wins. When I say safe, this is the highest average you can get. Main character wants a girlfriend, crew goes on vacation, lead meets a pretty lady, hijinks ensue, and some "surprise" reveals. You know the entire plot start to finish just by watching the trailer. I wish Tartakovsky was allowed to take risks, or allowed to make his Popeye movie that was shamefully scrapped in service of making The Emoji Movie, because the dude has talent. He created Samurai Jack and Dexter's Labratory. He has a key eye for fluid and unrealistic movement that lends itself to eye candy entertainment. The fact he's stuck at Sony making borderline criminally safe movies like Summer Vacation is sad. I was amused with what I got here, it's fine, but that's it.
Hereditary has a lot going for it. Toni Collette steals the Oscar win halfway into the year, Ari Aster writes a well thought out script at the tender age of 31, and A24 gets to keep repackaging the same movie with the same misleading trailer. Many are going at this movie as a resurgence of the horror genre, everyone complaining about the overuse of "cheap" jumpscares in more mainstream filth, but this being an unprecedented achievement? It is not. That doesn't mean it's bad, or even overpraised. I can see why people will fawn all over this. It's a tightly built, marvelously crafted family drama, filled to the brim with emotionally petrifying moments. It's always the worst kind of feeling you get when you can relate to unpleasant scenario in film (or any medium), but hearing and seeing Collette scream got to my head. Not sure what happened to Aster in his short life where he was able to capture a shouting match so accurately, but I feel you, man. I would rather not say much more, because bringing up any details could delude the twist and mystery. Simply put, if you want a more intense version of The Witch, it parallels a lot, right down to some select story beats. However, unlike the historical and somewhat fable feeling of the latter, Hereditary feels very grounded in the real world of today, sometimes to an unnerving extent. There are grotesque moments, but the bits here that stick with you rely on the characters' actions. When Peter Graham is laying down in bed and he's just waiting for his mom to discover the corpse, then hear her blood curdling screams, that's something that will stick with me. Annie pleading to her husband over and over to burn the book is a performance I won't shake off. I've seen this story done before, and better at that. I think my bigger issue with the movie isn't any of the technical stuff, everything presented is visually stunning, I just don't think I was as impressed as I should've been.
Holy shit, this movie took the biggest quality 180-turn I've ever witnessed. About a half hour into Den of Thieves, I was ready to call it quits. Slap a 'Please stop' and a one star rating on this and walk out, but miraculously, the clusterfuck of a script climbed itself out of it's conventional and edgy teenager levels of writing. It was able to correct it's under-cooked meat and present a thrilling second and third act. I can even pin-point the minute it happened. It's when Gerard Butler is at his daughter's school, he's talking to her through the fence, but when he gets back to his car, he breaks down in tears. Seen the scenario a million times before, but from that scene on, the big heist the movie had been horribly building up to started to happen. Let me just say, the editing, deliberate lack of music, the tension, the quick camera cuts, acute attention to detail, the raw acting, is all, pardon me, really fucking good. Unlike the previous fifty minutes or so, none of the dialogue or acting felt hokey, the performances are intense, and it's mature use of weapon handling just added to the realism. It's just shocking to me, because I've seen movies like Marauders, where the entire film reeks of amateurish direction and horrible trope-y childish ideas, and the whole movie is like that. "Oh man, this thug cop who doesn't play by the rules likes to party, drink beer, smoke, and beat criminals up. He's so cool." Den of Thieves starts off in that territory, horrible, criminal levels of bad, but inverted dramatically and turned great. I want to know what happened behind-the-scenes and who wrote the first hour of the movie. Everything involving the heist and subsequent chase is great. Go see this, just show up a half hour late, you won't miss much.
Okay, here's a question to my followers. How do I rate a movie that's so shitty, it's enjoyable? Like, I had fun watching this, but I understood it's schlock. Once I get some comments, I'll lower or keep this score.
I never, ever thought I'd be here saying this, but I actually had a little fun watching Geostorm. Yeah, like, no shit. This was more fun than Independence Day: Resurgence and San Andreas, the last two big disaster movies to come out. I think what Dean Devlin understood over the last two attempts was to just have fun with the project. It's like he knew what he was doing was making shit, but said, "Fuck, just go all out with it." The disaster scenes are upped a few notches, they're crazy, loud, extreme, and laughably put together. This movie's all over the place for me. I'm not sure how to feel. Some parts of this movie are just straight-up bad, like not thought out well, yet some other parts I thought were competently done and nicely written, and other parts are so-bad-it's-funny. The movie's everywhere in terms of my enjoyment. I think there's actually some decent writing here and there, leagues above Independence Day: Resurgence, and other parts where the dialogue is laughably bad. I don't know if Devlin did this on purpose, but it's very interesting to say the least. The story is not original at all, it's borrowed heavily from previous disaster movies, even ones not produced by Roland Emmerich, but for some reason, I didn't mind most of the time. Maybe it was the character writing or order of sequences, but I didn't really get annoyed or frustrated with seeing the same plot again. There was some kind of flavor this time around I was actually getting into. It's not great writing, like I've said, but I didn't hate watching it. There's even a couple genuinely humorous moments, that actually landed, which shocked me. But more often than not, the movie serves as a shit fest that's fun. And I love that stuff. If you've followed me for some time, you know I enjoy shit that's fun. And that's what this is. It's popcorn entertainment and that's what Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin do best. Even Godzilla (1998) I didn't hate because it's enjoyable, though I know it's a crappy movie. There's been a couple movies like that this year, that I think are crappy movies, but fun, like The Great Wall and Kong: Skull Island. However, those have at least artistic merit to them, standing as solid movies, even if they're mindless popcorn flicks. We're at an age where it's really hard to rate movies, at least for me. How do you rate something of this nature? And what counts as so-bad-it's-fun and actually good? Kong: Skull Island I think is a well-enough written movie and competently directed movie that gets it well above shit-but-fun-tier, so that's not on the same level as Geostorm, even though both are just popcorn flicks. Geostorm is enjoyable because of it's shitty quality, so I think that's where we need to make the distinction here. This is getting really fucking confusing for me now, but I love this discussion. It just goes to show judging movies are not all about the rating, but the discussion. This is such a weird movie for me. I need to let it sit with me for a little longer, and I might update this post.
This movie gave me a revelation. About movie-making. Both in a good way and a bad way. On one side of the coin, you now have studios like Blumhouse and Rat-Pac making decent competent horror movies that will satisfy audiences, as opposed to the shit that was being churned out for the last few years. But on the other side of the coin, they're not doing anything super unique or original. You always have to have child actors, you have to have the priest, you have to have a demon, you have to have this old secluded house where people move in, and etc. It's not automatically bad or lazy to use these tropes, but only if they're done with a unique style. And the problem is, I've seen a TON of movies lately use these common ingredients. I liked Ouija: Origin of Evil, but again in that, there was a demon possession, a priest, and house with a dark history to it. I get that doing this is safe and people will go to see it, but I'm hoping directors like David F. Sandberg and other people working with Rat-Pac try to move away from these plot threads. I don't know how much longer I can stand studios think they can get away with using this story over and over. That goes for you too Blumhouse.
Sorry, that was something I had to write down, because I started thinking about it a little more towards the end of this movie. In general, I start to know how I'm going to rate a movie when I reach a certain point. And I knew then how I thought of this Annabelle: Creation. It's safe. It works, but it's safe, and I don't know if I like that or not. I'm a huge fan of older horror pieces and B-movie-esque grindhouse, and it's a little sad directors and executives aren't trying to push the envelope.
But with everything out of the way, this on it's own isn't bad. It's pretty good. The child actresses all do a great job with the script they're given and I believed I was watching actual children interact with one another, which is a problem sometimes with kids. Lulu Wilson, who already starred in Ouija: Origin of Evil, gives another solid performance, and I want to see what else she does with the horror genre, if she decides to keep acting in it. I would love to see a The Exorcist-eque movie with her getting possessed. I believe she could pull off a Linda Blair. But in this, she isn't the one who gets taken over by a demon, but still perseveres and gives us a great scared child acting job. Talitha Bateman, who acts opposite Wilson and the two of them are like bonded sisters, she especially delivers an exceptionally dreary and depressing performance. She's crippled with polio and spends most of the movie in a wheelchair or walking with a support. And what I liked about this facet, is that it wasn't a tacked-on sub-plot or sob story; her condition plays into some of the scares. In one scene, she uses the automatic moving chair thing on the staircase to get away from the demon that's coming closer to her. The chair makes it's way down, but stops and malfunctions half-way down. Then the chair starts to go back up, and the demon is waiting for her right at the top and there's nothing she can do about it. If she didn't have the condition, she could've just ran out of the house. But little touches like that can make for a richer story. It's also why the girls are surprised later when she can walk fine, because she's taken over. Another great scene was in the barn with one of the older girls, played by Grace Fulton, when the demon takes over a scarecrow and slowly unscrews the lightbulbs in fixtures to turn off the lights. I don't know why the demon would care about something trivial like light-fixtures, but I guess you could say because the demon is used to being shut-in the darkness, so whatever. It was a nice set-up.
And this re-telling leads me to one of the bigger pros and cons with the movie. Each of these scary sequences are great, well-done little pieces, but as a whole feature, doesn't really flow well. There isn't a lot of super big tension built up or a looming threat that lurks over the picture. In one scene, Wilson is terrified beyond belief as the doll and the demon have made their way into her room and the bed underneath her bunk-bed. But then, the scene ends, she falls asleep, and it's the next day. Next we see her, she's happily playing with the other girls. Are we not going to talk about what just happened there? And that's my only big problem with this. David F. Sandberg started out doing short horror movies and that seems to be his expertise. These are great little scenes, but don't complement one another always in the larger scope of it all. However, the movie does get really good towards the end, when the demon goes all out on the girls. It was nice to see something quite grand and on an ambitious scale. A lot of times with these movies, the finale is just a small group of people trying to get out of a house and there's a couple jumpscares there and here. But Sandberg decides to throw in everything he can. The demon teleports all over the place and gets at the different separated groups of kids. Scarecrow in the barn? Check. Creepy adventures in the basement? Check. Car won't start? Check. Hiding in the doll room? Check. I know all that sounds very cliche, but it's done rather unique, as it's not the same person who experiences all of it.
But I think I've rambled on long enough. It's a little funny seeing how these origin prequel horror movies end up being better than the originals they're based off of. Now people are going to go watch the first Annabelle and remember just how fucking terrible it is. But I am a little worried about the state of horror movies. I liked this, it was good, I had fun watching it, but I want to see more come out of this genre. I don't really want to see the same plot threads being copied over and over. If you just want to see a fun horror movie to share with friends or family, you'll definitely get a kick out of this, I recommend it. However, as massive fan of this genre, I want more.
Shit, this is better than Blumhouse's Truth Or Dare. At least it shows some blood.
As a sequel to Final Destination 3, and even just a separate horror film, it's a ridiculous cheap disaster... however, if you take it as a comedy, this is a blast. Must watch, for sure, I put this shit on in the background doing work, one of those kind of movies. Every scene in this offers hilarious laughs, start to finish. The priceless NASCAR race sequence, topped with cars and debris just flying straight into the stadium's audience... and no other direction, those people are walking targets.. The punch lines spoken right before an impending death, the musical cues, and the outrageous antics that keep upping the last. Why the hell does a mall explode when there's no explosives anywhere to be found? What's with the EXTREMELY mouse trap death set ups needed in order for our terrible protagonists to be killed in? Why does someone start bleeding at the mouth because their foot is cut off? Why is there a bunch of explosives behind a movie theater screen? Why does a fence have sharp enough blades to cut through a guy's stomach? This movie rocks. It's some good garbage, and I think they knew what they were doing when making this. It's a trashy 'ol good time. The deleted alternate ending is pure fucking gold insanity.
Um... what? I don't even know what I just watched, but I really liked it. That's the best way to describe this movie. It's so crazy, so filled to the brim, so over-the-top, and nonsensical, I just had to turn the analysis part of my brain off and accept the movie for what it is: A poorly written, but well-polished, incredibly directed, badass song tuning, and crazy action grindhouse B-movie. That's what it is. This could easily have been released as a 70's grindhouse feature, and everyone would fucking love it. The action scenes in this movie are some of the craziest set pieces I have ever seen. You've got these talented women in skin showing skirt outfits, wielding modern tactical rifles and pistols, going around shooting robots in a World War 1 trench. Yes, you just read that right. Want to go even crazier? Okay, how about flying a modern tactical helicopter over a medieval castle while firing guns at a dragon? Not enough for you? Okay, how about battling in the snow, fighting giant robot samurais wielding miniguns? This movie is so fucking crazy and stupid, that I can't help but like it for some reason. I think that's why most audience members and critics don't like it. This movie is the prime-example of "Hey guys, I decided to make a super fucking crazy ass movie, don't take it seriously, okay?" This movie is what happens when Zack Snyder takes some cocaine and is allowed to do whatever the hell he wants. I don't know why but I like it, a lot.
Literally the greatest film I have ever seen. Marvel can just go the fuck home. They've got nothing on this academy award winning masterpiece. 'Batman v Superman' is going to end up in a hospital after witnessing this absolute blessing onto the world, not like my ex-wife who I thought was a blessing to me...
I thought 'Jaws' and 'King Kong' were my favorite movies of all time, but pfffff, bruh. This is the real classic. Those other two are fucking trash in comparison.
I can't even tell what I was watching, I remember hearing dialogue and a lot of pop songs, but fuck you. I remember listening to 'Paranoid' as I argued with my ex-wife. This movie is funny because I said so. Jared Leto as the joker was a brilliant choice. Who was that fucker, Heath Ledger? No one cares about him, Jared is the REAL choice pick for the joker. All 5 minutes of his screentime made me orgasm, his Hot Topic portrayal would totally appeal to mainstream critics.
Actually, all the characters would appeal to critics. Will Smith totally sells this movie and Jai Courtney is the greatest actor of all time. I used to love Marlon Brando and Robert Shaw, but those two fuckwads don't stand a chance in an audition against Jai Courtney. I loved it when Courtney terribly read dialogue off a prompter with no emotion. Best Actor Award winner right here, folks! I bet my ex-wife would win Best Actress.
I love how cringeworthy every line of dialogue is. This is supposed to be a group of funny characters in the style of 'Guardians of the Galaxy' but this movie actually works. Not like my ex-wife. Batman makes a small appearance here and there, which makes me can't wait to shill hard for the new Batman solo production. I can't wait to see the high score on Rottentomatoes for it. I heard Ben Affleck had to go to rehabilitation for alcohol addiction. Why go to rehab for alcohol addiction? I love beer and I don't have an addiction...
The rest of the characters I don't even know they're names, but they all said some funny dialogue, so that makes them well-developed and likable characters. Harley Quin was super hot, I loved the way her body looked in that outfit, like how my ex-wife's body looks in the bathtub. Crocodile head made me laugh a lot and Boomerang, AKA Jai Courtney, has the most useful super power on the planet. I never realized all you needed to be a super hero was having a boomerang as a weapon.
A true cinematic masterpiece. 'Casablanca' and 'Star Wars' have nothing on this true work of modern art. I wish I could talk more about, but the cops just showed up to the front door, so I gotta go. See y'all later!
Happy April Fools' Day!
