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Private Notes
The franchise that refuses to die releases a new, 5th movie soon in theaters. So we thought we'd torture ourselves by watching the 3rd movie in the series and looking for sins.
And they just keep on coming. Underworld movies are like cockroaches; where you see one... there are guaranteed to be hundreds lurking in the shadows. Underworld Awakening, the fourth in the series, is just as full of sins as any other entry in this franchise.
Well, here's an absolute travesty of a movie, from start to finish. Suicide Squad has so many sins, I considered quitting. This movie is just... bad. And here are its sins.
Well, here's a movie that royally pissed me off. Alice Through The Looking Glass. I don't think I've been this mad at a movie since we sinned the original Pete's Dragon. Just... look at all these freaking sins!
The xXx movies are pretty stupid, but apparently have a following enough to justify a third one coming soon to theaters. Before you see that... remind yourself how sinful the first one was.
Yes, they made a sequel to this crap. Yes, they swapped out the main actor and made a bunch of jokes about it in the movie itself. And because there's somehow a third one coming out soon, here's the sins of this super very terrible tragedy of an action film, xXx: State of the Union.
These freakin' movies never stop. Somehow, Resident Evil: Extinction is only the third one!! Sinful as hell, of course, but you didn't need us to tell you that, right?
Here is a movie that wants so very hard to be a good movie. It's not, but it wishes it was. Instead it's just... ugh.
THIS MOVIE IS DISTURBING AND GROSS! Many consider Don't Breathe a great horror flick, you might as well, but it still has sins... and is still disturbing and gross. You have been warned, you few who bother to read these video descriptions.
Several years after the very-good The Ring, already an American remake of a foreign film, they released The Ring 2. It's terrible. I have no qualms saying that. It's awful. It's everything horror sequels SHOULDN'T be. So we sinned it. You know, in honor of the upcoming "Rings" sequel/update/reboot/whatever.
Everything is awesome! Including this sins video of The LEGO movie... we hope. After two years, you might have given up hope we'd ever sin this animated masterpiece, but here we are... sinning it... mostly because LEGO Batman is coming out soon. And because no movie is without sin and stuff.
The original John Wick was a surprise hit with stylish visuals and a high body count. With the sequel on the way soon, we decided to go looking through the first Wick pic for sins. As usual, we found some.
Jason Bourne brought back Matt Damon & Paul Greengrass for the franchise in what should have been a no-brainer. Instead we get a strange retread movie that is kind of lazy. It's really sad, actually.
2016's Magnificent Seven was a remake of a remake, so... I think everyone expected it to have sins, right?
If you cross Good Will Hunting with the Bourne movies, you'd probably get something cool, but these people came up with The Accountant. A movie that is right on the border between really good and really average.
Here's a movie I could have done without. We all could have done without it, I'm quite sure. And that's coming from someone in love with both Anna Kendrick AND Justin Timberlake!
The Girl on the Train is a movie that is basically f*cking with you the entire time. It's not a fun experience. And it's plenty sinful.
Straight up: The Cabin in the Woods is f*cking awesome and hilarious. Watch it. Enjoy it. Love it. We'll still list its sins, because that's what we do, but we love this movie.
Blade II, it's the more forgettable one after Blade but BEFORE the funny one with Ryan Reynolds. Regardless of its place in the franchise, it's got sins, so we did our thing.
Up is one of the few Pixar movies we haven't sinned yet. So... upon realizing that... we went to work. Here are the sins of Up.
Because they felt the need to remake this sh*t live-action, we felt the need to sin the original. Deal with it.
Here's a movie that basically defines "wasted potential." So much cool sh*t, so many sins.
With a new Power Rangers movie approaching, we thought it'd be fun to go looking for sins in the original 1995 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie. But it wasn't fun, it was grueling. It sucked ass. This movie is balls.
Look, The Rock and Kevin Hart are both likable enough that you expect at least a little something out of an action comedy starring the two of them. But when you do that... you're wrong. Because this movie is STUPID.
Today we go looking for sins in Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, a Harry Potter spin-off that will now also have four sequels. Needless to say, our sin-caps were on snug and tight for this one. Sin-wands at the ready!
What can I say, except… we found some?!
Dr. Strange was a really enjoyable above-average Marvel film. Still, like the Stan Lee cameo... the sins in it were a foregone conclusion. So we counted them.
Passengers has a wonderful premise, a f*cked up middle, and a batsh*t insane finale. So, of course it has sins. Duh.
Assassin's Creed may have satisfied some fans of the video game, but the rest of us... not so much. This movie sets the record for "amazing actors slumming."
Battle: L.A. had a fantastic trailer!!! And that's about the nicest thing I can say about it. Also... here are its sins...
With Alien: Covenant hitting U.S. theaters soon, we thought we'd go back to the franchise and look for sins in the infamous sequel, Aliens. Guess what? We found some!!
In honor of the 20th anniversary of Men In Black, we decided to go digging for sins. Found some, but this movie is still awesome.
Well, this is a movie that happened. A promising cast, but sins galore. Oh, the sins!
Remaking a beloved anime film in live-action form? What could go wrong?!
Well, sh*t. They remade The Mummy and somehow created the single most generic film ever made. It's like they signed Cruise and Crowe and then just stopped trying.
For October, we like going back and hitting some older horror films we've never covered. And Friday the 13th Part 2 has oodles of sins.
One of the best crime/detective films ever made, Se7en still has sins... because no movie is without sin. But hot damn is this movie awesome!
Here is one of the worst movies ever created. It's lazy & sexist, and gives more time to sexual assault humor than it does plot development. F*ck this movie.
Today we return to the Saw franchise in order to thoroughly confuse ourselves trying to keep up with it. Sins aplenty.
Saw IV, in which an already-confusing series tries way to hard to both answer questions from previous films AND confuse you even further in the process. It succeeds.
In honor of Marvel's Thor: Ragnorok, we decided to go looking for sins in the studio's most-fun franchise... Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. We found some, of course, as we are wont to do. But it's not a terrible movie.
This might be the laziest movie to ever be a box office hit and inspire a quick sequel... wait... I forgot about Daddy's Home. Anyway... this is a piece of crap. Sins aplenty. So on and so forth.
Well last week we sinned Bad Moms and called it one of the laziest comedies ever. Then comes along this piece of crap. I guess you laugh at this movie... if you've lost the ability to groan.
Here's a movie that most people, including us, found super enjoyable. And yet... sins and stuff. We gotta do what we gotta do.
Sigh.
Spider-Man Homecoming was a nice surprise, capturing the spirit of the character as well or better than any previous film. We loved it. And so, of course, we were compelled to sin it.
Just in time for the Jumanji sequel, we go looking for sins in the original. And boy... did THAT movie not hold up well at all. Yikes!
Home Alone 2: Lost In New York is basically the first movie all over again, only less funny, less original, and more sinful.
Once upon a time, they made a third remake of The Amityville Horror. In anticipation of that, we wrote sins scripts for the first two. Then they delayed the new one for, like, years and we just sat on the scripts waiting. Then they dumped that new remake into theaters sneakily for a few days in the Fall of 2017, and we were like... "Sh*t, we can't just waste these scripts." And Christmas week came along and we all had plans and didn't want to write sins, so we dusted off the Amityville stuff! So... there you go.
Roughly 25 years after the original came this Ryan Reynolds remake that somehow fails to really add anything new or be much more compelling overall. :(
Well, they keep making these things, so we'll keep sinning them. Not that we have much fun doing it, since this movie is awful.
