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Private Notes
Ugh. This thing has gone on long enough. I say we call it after this one. Here are the sins of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, and there are a lot of them.
During the animation boom of the mid-2000's, Jerry Seinfeld himself concocted a movie idea, wrote the script, and voiced the main character. And somehow, against all odds, that movie ended up being utterly terrible. Here are the sins of Bee Movie. And no, we didn't do anything regarding the f*cking Bee Movie meme, because we write sins and don't adopt Internet memes. Good day, sir.
In 2014, Paddington was quietly released. Which is unfortunate, since it's pretty awesome. But even awesome family films have sins, as I'm sure you know, so...
The first Kingsman film was a welcome surprise of manic action and fun. The second one is just... a mess.
Uh... accidentally deleted this video somehow. Oops. Here it is again.
After The LEGO Movie and The LEGO Batman Movie, we expected more from The LEGO Ninjago Movie than 1.5 hours of lame jokes and LEGO retreads. We expected too much, it seems.
What. A. Mess.
Really enjoy this movie. Still not sure why so few went to see it. Oh well, here are its sins.
Excellent movie that we loved. Still a few sins to be found; still an unnecessary jump-scare or two.
We went looking for sins in Illumination's The Lorax, and you know what? This movie is really freakin' annoying.
An awful lot of people have watched Netflix's new original movie, Bright. And it seems to be pretty divisive. So we figured... why not put on the sin goggles and check it out? That was, sadly, a mistake we'd live to regret.
Yep. They're still making these. To mark the release of the third film, we decided to look for sins in the second, Fifty Shades Darker. Guess how many we found.
Well, here's a pretty terrible attempt to mimic Love, Actually. Lots of sins.
Here's a tale of two movies rolled into one, and it doesn't work. We went looking for sins in the superhero movie, Hancock, and found a bunch.
Some say Blade Runner 2049 a masterpiece, some say it's confusing and too long. Some say it's in between. We say... surely it has some sins, right?
Ex Machina is not only excellent science fiction, it's just plain one of the best movies of the decade. We love it. Still found some sins... you know how we do.
Birdman is a pretty great movie, with a lot of unique touches. We love it. But like all movies, it's got sins, and we felt bound to point them out and count them.
With the new Bruce Willis Death Wish remake approaching, we thought it would be fun to go looking for sins in the 1974 original. And it was!
With The Strangers: Prey at Night coming soon, we thought it was a good time to take another look at the 2008 film, The Strangers. It has Liv Tyler, that guy from Underworld, masks, and of course... sins.
Somehow, even in five years' time, we still haven't sinned the Narnia movies. We begin to fix that starting today with the sins of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. There are... plenty.
There's a new Tomb Raider movie coming soon. You know what that means... the sin-searchers go back to the original film. Boy oh boy are there sins in this thing!
There's a new Tomb Raider movie coming soo and we just sinned the first Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider movie two days ago. So a natural way to close the week is to count the sins of the sequel. It's terrible; many sins.
Can you believe they made another one of these things? Anyway... with the new one coming soon, we went looking for sins in the first one and... found a metric ton of them. So many sins.
So there's a new animated gnomes movie coming out, only this time it's a Sherlock Holmes parody of some kind. So for kicks... we decided to count the sins in the 2nd Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes movie, A Game of Shadows.
Groundhog Day only you keep getting murdered. That's basically this movie, and it's both cool and filled with sins. So... here are the sins of Happy Death Day.
Coco is a very good movie. We enjoyed it immensely. We still felt obligated by reputation (and that contract with Satan) to go looking for sins in Coco. And we found a few.
Someone dies on a train in the middle of nowhere, so naturally the explanation is the most convoluted one possible. But hey, the movie looks beautiful, right? Here are the sins in Kenneth Branagh's Murder on the Orient Express.
Read a strange pop-up book with your kid... end up with a haunting. I think. Honestly this movie is kind of confusing. Whatever, it has its moments. And its sins.
Ferdinand. It's not bad. It's kind of fun. Certainly more worthy of its Oscar nomination than Boss Baby. But whatever... here are its sins.
Well, to pretty much everyone's surprise, this Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle thing turned out to be a pretty good action comedy. It also made ALL the dollars. But, as with all movies, there were also sins. We're going to list them for you.
Lady Bond Wick Bourne Hannah Alias. Atomic Blonde is totally worth watching. It isn't maybe as fun as the John Wick movies... it doesn't make as much sense as a Bourne movie... but it has an incredible extended fight sequence that will rock your socks off. Oh, and it also has sins. And ice baths. And smoking. LOTS of smoking.
Best Picture status has never stopped us from sinning a movie before, and it's not going to stop us now. Here are the sins of The Shape of Water.
Thor: Ragnarok. It's a movie that most everyone enjoyed, for good reason. It's funny as hell. But it still has sins... all movies do.
Well here is a movie. There's blood... a snowman... a Fassbender... some other stuff... we still have no idea what happened. We did notice some sins, though. Here are the sins of The Snowman.
Here is yet another not-great Marvel movie with Ryan Reynolds that predates Deadpool. As Marvel movies go... it's pretty bleh. As vampire movies go... it's also pretty bleh. But Blade: Trinity does have plenty of sins!
If you think you've already seen Geostorm before, you have... even if you haven't. It's 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, The Core, and somehow even worse than those films. And sinful as HELL.
Of all the live-action rabbit-based family-friendly adventure films we've seen this year... Peter Rabbit was arguably the best. And the worst. Here are its sins.
With Ocean's 8 upon us, we decided it was finally time to go back and count the sins in the not-original Clooney remake of Ocean's Eleven. And we found plenty, because... have you seen that movie?!
Mama is a fairly recent horror film that found success and praise. But no one ever got around to listing all its sins... until today. Boo!
With the impending release of The Incredibles 2, we decided it was finally time to go looking for sins in the last Brad Bird Pixar film, Ratatouille. It's about a rat chef, but it's also really excellent, but also full of sins.
Because of some new movie I'm too tired to remember... we sinned THIS movie... Megamind. I guess there's a new animated something soon?! Whatever. We do what we want. Balls.
Well, at least no one has to sit through any more of these things... until they reunite or reboot in 10 years. And even those soulless remake/sequels would be better movies than this Fifty Shades Freed garbage. Anyway... here are its sins.
We've been asked to sin this movie for years. And finally we did. And now we regret it. This movie... this is not my kind of movie. Here are the sins of Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.
Well, they took a page from Adam Sandler and decided to film a movie during their vacation in Europe together, and yep... it turned out pretty awful. Likeable people alone does not a good movie make. Here are the aca-sins of Pitch Perfect 3.
Here are all the sins we found in A Wrinkle In Time, a movie that somehow wasn't saved by giant Oprah.
Early in 2018, Marvel released Black Panther, which went on to smash records and delight audiences all over the globe. So naturally we went looking for sins in it. And we even managed to find a few.
Tron: Legacy. This movie isn't all that bad. It's not great, but it looks amazing and has a killer score... and in this era of rebooting & sequelizing everything... why is Disney still sleeping on Tron?! Anyway, here are the sins of Tron: Legacy.
Hotel Transylvania is one of those movie's that's short and kind of feels humorous in your memory, but when you go back through it looking for sins ends up just being surprisingly boring. Oh well, good thing they made three of these things.
Yes, they made a 2nd one. They even made a third one, in theaters now. Here are all the sins we found in Hotel Transylvania 2: More Transylvanianing.
With Mamma Mia 2 approaching quickly, we reluctantly decided to go looking for sins in the original Mamma Mia. We instantly regretted this decision.
"What about a horror movie where 95% of it is kids' computer screens?!" "Brilliant!!" And Unfriended was born. Here are its sins.
Well, here is a sequel that the studio had no faith in and we ended up with this. It's pretty average and has lots of sins.
Here is a Justice League movie we are happy to sin right now, and it's Justice League Dark... one of the weirdest animated movies I've ever seen. And yeah, it's full of sins.
F*cking Minions.
Yes, they did finish this movie series. You're forgiven for not noticing, as almost no one did. Here are the sins of Maze Runner: The Death Cure.
With Meg about to hit theaters, we decided to finally go looking for sins in the most recent modern shark movie that people kind of like... Deep Blue Sea. Guess what? It's not as great as you remember it being. It has one great moment and that's it.
Well, they went and rebooted the Tomb Raider movies. Dammit. And yeah, they made them average again.
What if it were like The Matrix, only it was all a game, and filled with 80's references?! That's Ready Player One. Here are all the sins we found.
You say karate, I say kung fu. You say a remake, I say a literal copy. Here are all the sins we found in the 2010 remake of The Karate Kid.
Somewhere along the line, The Rock decided it was fun to make a couple bad movies every year, to balance out the occasional good movie he makes. And so we got Rampage.
They made a Lone Ranger movie with Johnny Depp and that twin-guy from Social Network. And yes, it was terrible.
The Cloverfield Paradox is yet another flimsy tie to the Cloverfield Universe. As such, it definitely has sins, so we counted them.
Cowboys & Aliens is another of those movies with a premise and a cast so good it almost can't fail. And then it does. As we do... we counted its sins.
Annabelle was such a... movie... that they made another one all about how the whole thing got started. I think. Honestly don't remember.
Predator!!! This movie rules, I don't care what you say. Yes, it still has sins, and yes... this is still a video listing those sins. But the movie rules.
The Golden Compass was definitely a movie that happened. You didn't imagine that. It was a thing. And it went away. Probably because they spent the entire first movie spraying exposition all over the screen. Here are the sins.
They definitely made way too many Shrek movies. Shrek the Third is just flat-out terrible. Also full of sins.
Oh, man. This movie is... it's very not good. So many sins. I even Satan himself is on record saying Spawn has too many sins. At any rate... here they are.
Deadpool 2 was pretty great. Better than most sequels. But like most of the best sequels... it does get SLIGHTLY less great on repeat viewings. But it's still awesome. But also sinful--as all movies are!
They sure made too many of these things, didn't they? Here are all the sins we found in Scream 3.
This freaking movie. This movie is infuriating. Unless all you want are dinosaurs roaring and a whole bunch of action baloney and recycled moments from better films in the franchise. Here are all the sins we found in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.
There's a brand new Halloween movie upon us, so it seemed the perfect time to go looking for sins in the beloved and acclaimed original. And while that film is f*cking fantastic... it still has sins... as all movies do. So we counted them. And here they are.
There's a brand new Halloween movie upon us, so we're sinning some of the older films in the franchise, like Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, which is a giant pile of WTF-ness. Here are all the sins we found, yo.
There have been so many Purge movies I've lost count. There's even a Purge TV show!! Point is... that's too much Purge! Here are all the sins we found in the supposed prequel, The First Purge. Hint: there are a lot.
You know how sometimes you see a movie that is so bad you think there could never be a worse movie? Well you're wrong, because Skyscraper exists, and it's the worst worse movie I ever worsed.
No movie is without sin. Even classic horror films. This movie's so scary you might have forgotten some of the confusing and boring parts.
Well, this movie is a beloved classic... but it does NOT hold up as well as you probably remember. Plenty of sins, is what I'm saying.
For some reason they remade The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo even though the original was perfectly fine. Anyway, it's okay. Not terrible. Plenty of sins though.
Clash of the Titans is a movie so bad they made a sequel.
What?
Here are all the sins we found in this monstrosity.
Before you check out the new Ralph Breaks The Internet, take a look at all the sins we found in the original, Wreck It Ralph.
Creed is a really good movie. It's great, even. Still has sins, so we went looking. That's how we do.
Just stop. Just... stop. Stop already with these freaking movies. Here are all the sins we found in Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation.
Somewhere between Babe Pig in the City and Mad Max Fury Road... George Miller made Happy Feet, a quirky animated movie about dancing penguins. It's okay. Has some sins though.
A Quiet Place is a great movie! We loved it. But like all movies, it still has sins, so we did what we do and pointed them out in a video.
This movie is awesome! It's incredible! It's... got plenty of sins! Here are all the sins we found in Incredibles 2.
Well, Avengers: Infinity War was arguably the biggest movie of 2018, and we waited quite a while to get around to sinning it, but now that wait is over. Now you can pick a new movie to yell at us about not having sinned yet. :)
With the new Mary Poppins sequel upon us, we decided to test our motto and go looking for sins in the original. And we found some. A bunch, actually.
Yikes.
The Santa Clause is an enjoyable enough movie starring Tim Allen and some other people. It taught us all to misspell Santa Claus. And it has a bag full of sins.
Here's a movie that wants to play the hits so much it kind of loses itself along the way. But it's still a lot of fun. And full of sins. Here are all the sins we found in Solo: A Star Wars Story.
The Meg is fine. It's fine. It's totally fine. It's a movie with a shark the size of a submarine. Some people love that sh*t. Others do not. Regardless... like all movies... The Meg has sins. So we counted them.
The Meg is fine. It's fine. It's totally fine. It's a movie with a shark the size of a submarine. Some people love that sh*t. Others do not. Regardless... like all movies... The Meg has sins. So we counted them.
