Comedy? You mean there's supposed to be humour in this? ... Uh. Okay then. Can't tell where, but whatever.
The acting is solid, although I'm not sure it's enough to carry the movie as a whole on its back. In trying to offer criticism, I think it ends up being just like the thing it criticises: cold, obsessive, and indeed in Margot's very own words: "fancy, deconstructed avant-bullshit". After which we are left hungry, too, because despite all the display, there isn't much substance to it at all.
What am I going to do with you, Batman? You've destroyed a perfectly good giant robot castle.
- Joker, in Sengoku period Japan.
I think the quote sums this thing up well enough. I like Japan in general, I love anime, I can appreciate the creators for who they are, I can even appreciate certain elements like the style and the animation. I'm also aware that cartoons often "displace" Batman, in time and/or in space. Having said all that... ooooooh boy, is this a mess. It feels like there were too many ideas and nobody was willing to let any of them go. If you're not bothered by so many staples of Japanese history / popular media all appearing in one movie, brought to you by some of your favourite DC characters (probably including more people from the Batman universe than any one movie should) - go ahead, you'll have a blast. If anachronistic mishmash in general disturbs you, you best stay away from this one.
I honestly don't understand all the hype and high scores and positive reviews on this movie.
To start off, the 20yo "high school students" are nowhere near believable, but at the same time they're such stereotypes-on-legs that one feels the urge to just punch them in the face. Not only their personalities, but their every single interaction as well is so sterotypical and predictable that they're literally painful to watch.
Once they get into the game, it doesn't get any better. The fact that they're sucked into a game only serves to negate any and all sense of danger they may face during the "adventure": with three lives, you just know that whatever happens to them will have no consequence whatsoever - if anything, they manage to utilise "death" as a game mechanic to help them along the way; heck even their weaknesses become strengths, if not just butts of jokes. Their transformation only goes the most predictable way too: turning into their own "inverse" versions, with one or two character traits preserved to make everything else about them a joke. The world itself is poorly utilised as well: the source of the main dangers isn't nature but bandits on motorcycles, with some bad CGI animals only occasionally getting in their way. Even the story is non-existent, with a huge timeskip after a short intro, because gods forbid they actually continue where it was left off, or just bring it to present days right from the start.
The actors at least try to make an effort to do something with their characters, but quite frankly the ensemble of a muscle-brained G.I. Joe, a middle-aged unkempt Indiana Jones, a black valet, and Lara Croft has too little originality to it (ie. none) for those efforts to make much of a difference. Not to even mention the pilot, who couldn't be more generic if he was actually cut out of cardboard. But hey, at least Jack Black gets to play a teenage girl.
I'm not sure who felt that making this movie was needed. I'm not sure who thinks walking clichés and d××k jokes constitute a "fun family movie". Take away the title, and there is quite literally nothing to see here that stands out from any similar "lower tier" flick - none of which ever gets this ridiculously overrated.
Like others point it out as well, this is just false advertising: there's nothing "unhuman" in here. It's not necessarily a bad movie per se, but it's a bad movie if you're expecting sci-fi and aliens, because that's not what you get. Like, at all.
This is like... a remake of the 2015 Vacation, seriously. The poster, the entire road trip, the kids not getting along, the campus scene with mom being hot.... Except, then there's tons more chemistry here between pretty much everyone, a heavy dose of RED injected everywhere, and Ciarán Hinds and Maggie Q practically stealing the entire move (does she always do that??). With some predictable and sappy family PR at the end. It's certainly fun, just sit back and enjoy the action and have a few laughs.
Ok this is basically back-to-its-roots genius. :rofl: Congrats.
Trying a little too hard to be modern and PC, and that doesn't have a good effect on the movie as a whole. The fact that I found myself more invested in how Billy & Ingrid are gonna end up than the kids' wedding didn't help the plot all that much either. Does have its moments, but ultimately not all that much soul or chemistry.
What on earth did I just watch and why was it so long and why are people praising this to high heavens? Seriously, just... what? This is a 2 hour long trainwreck, with a side of junk for some reason.
Worst thing is I can almost see it as an actual documentary, and it's scary because it might well work better that way. Still too long either way though.
What on earth did I just watch.... Not only Dick Dastardly is brought in for some reason, to be the main villain, but even one of the Slag brothers makes a special appearance. As part of an entire tribe now. And if that's not enough, there's yet another character (well, two) from yet another series, because ... I dunno. This is a mixer, apparently.
Many elements feel forced, simply put in because they've been staples and as such they've got to be in there. There are a few funny lines, but even those are more of the deconstructive, fourth-wall-breaking ones, because apparently those are needed nowadays. Some of the cast choices are great, but again, more so due to real life references than for anything else.
It feels like the Batman universe got its own Watchmen remix, with Robert "Edward Cullen" Pattinson's emo boy Bruce Wayne in the spotlight, and I have so many issues.
First, I really wish the universe could get its own stories already, instead of remixing, for the umpteenth time, the characters' backgrounds, origins, roles, and by and large their looks as well. It's impossible to keep track of, and it's tiresome to re-learn every time a new movie comes along. As if the universe didn't have more than enough characters (some very colourful ones at that) to use.
Second, I'm not sure Batman needed a Watchmen remix, to be honest. The setup just doesn't work, especially when Batman doesn't even has his own companions (except for on-again-off-again Selina Kyle, ofc), and it's just the sole hero in a single city against a bunch of loonies, deep diving into his own past yet again. The length kinda fits (minus the ultimate cut), everything else though...
Third, I'm sorry but Robert Pattinson is just a weird choice. I didn't really get just how old Bruce is supposed to be here from the movie itself; and his characterisation sure doesn't help either, looking (and acting) like a bad stereotype of the emo teen - the rare one or two times when he isn't, he comes off an old man. And as Batman... this "slowmo" approach kills it. As if every step he takes is a struggle, and yet we're supposed to believe he's capable of all the stunts and fighting? There's no immersion.
Fourth, the ... tech, I guess? I'm so confused as to where we're supposed to be: in some parts, it looks like there's all the high tech computer stuff - and then in other parts it's like everything's almost analogue, not even digital. The range is really jarring here and only serves to further erode immersion. Especially the Riddler's little videos and some of his other stuff (hell, even his look) felt like they came from some 90s VHS movie. Absolutely bizarre.
Fifth, the rating indeed. I said it's a Watchmen remix with Edward Cullen - this is why. I'm sure I wasn't the only one to immediately be reminded of Rorschach's opening monologue: it feels like they tried very hard to imitate that... except it got utterly destroyed by sounding exactly like some inane rambling from Twilight. And, well, it is indeed that guy, from that movie, as it later turns out: in more ways than one. But that's not the only crime committed in keeping the rating this low. There's corruption, there's an outright den with all the bad guys, there's regular gangsters, there's this absolute mastermind of a psycho doing what he does, and... we barely get to see any of it, save for some explosions featuring a lot of fire because that's easy to make big and can conveniently cover up everything. Yet more immersion ruined.
To reiterate: I really wish Hollywood stopped trying to reboot and remix Batman (yet again, after, what? three movies in the previous attempt?), there's more than enough material to establish a foundation and work from there. But to add to it: I really wish Hollywood stopped trying to reimagine these universes in more "realistic" ways, too. There's no need for everything to be so gritty, for everything to have its root in reality, for everything to be politically correct and oh-so-woke. Especially when it comes to superhero flicks: these are meant to entertain, to let the viewer switch their brain off for a few hours and just enjoy a movie. If I wanted a documentary or some real life nonfiction drama, there's plenty of those to choose from.
It's really hilarious how big of an absolute MESS this movie is in every sense of the word: it's long as hell, it features practically every genre (including various styles of animation) while taking none of them seriously, putting its own twists on several specific movies even... And it all boils down to - a mother's reconciliation with her father, her husband, her daughter. That is to say: making peace with one's family and life. Well, that and a Ratatouille gag, and a pretty unusual segmentation into three parts.
It speaks to the talent of the directors and the writers and pretty much the entire cast that for all those, it never gets boring for a minute. Where you're not laughing your head off, you're enjoying the visuals. Where you're not enjoying the visuals, you're being taught lessons in life. Where you're not learning, you're blown away by some of the silliest, most badass fight scenes. Where you're not rooting for Evelyn to survive the fight, you're scratching your head either at the crazy outfits or at the various "versions" of people, of which there are way too many crammed into several short collages. Where you're not scratching your head, you're enjoying the back-and-forth between English, Cantonese, and Mandarin. Or just - enjoy being a rock, because that's a thing too. Rinse and repeat. There's never a dull moment, it's basically like an insane rollercoaster ride but without any actual low points in terms of quality.
And while I do stand by what I said that the entire cast deserves two thumbs up, I'm a little biased and I just have to highlight... Michelle Yeoh is a GODDESS, and this role is just extremely fitting for her after being Philippa Georgiou in Star Trek: Discovery, as if some weird spiritual successor to the character, I swear. And because apart from her I went in blind, Jamie Lee Curtis was probably the most pleasant surprise in what's probably one of her most ridiculous roles (in the positive sense) - I had to pause the movie the first time I saw her because I needed time to laugh it out. Bloody brilliant!
So there's.... some mothers on a holiday, somewhere in Greece? I guess? Certain shots/settings kinda reminded me of a few Poirot episodes with David Suchet, which is weird since those are set in the 30s. But other than that... I'm actually not even sure I recall any particularly nice scenic shot. And the rest? Just... I don't know. A few puzzle pieces that never really get together into an actual picture, there's little to no cohesion to whatever story there's supposed to be in this. And for that, it's also too long. Looks like a common theme in 2021 movies. Shame though, because there are quite a few great names in the cast; but I had a hard time even trying to keep up with who's who in terms of the characters, amidst all the flashbacks.
Might be the book's a lot better, should probably read that - can't be much worse, at any rate.
All the widescreen home "footage" from "1988"... right.
I am not exactly sure what I just watched. I would under no circumstances consider this as a western, that's for sure. And drama... I dunno, doesn't that require a story? Or some character conflicts at least? Or did that genre becmoe the go-to label for everything that can't be categorised as anything else?
I have no idea what I just watched. There is no story here, the locations could be presented in any random order, and it wouldn't make any difference. There's no character portrayal either, really, we never really learn much (if anything) about anyone - consequently, there's no conflict, no drama, and no development either. There's no social commentary either, and it's also absolutely devoid of anything remotely political. A few shots here and there that I imagine look real nice in 4k HDR - but then if one wants pretty nature shots, they could just watch NatGeo or Discovery or some such. Some nice musical inserts - but then you can just go listen to any work of the featured composer anywhere, any time. It's like a hundred minute long portrait of some random generic people you most probably don't know and wouldn't care about anyway. And for the record: I don't mind movies in which nothing happens, but then show me something else instead. Nomadland doesn't.
How this movie ended up winning Best Actress, Direction, AND Picture - with all the other nominees in those categories - I'm sorry, but it does not compute. It's too much even if we chalk it up to the year having been long and slow due to the pandemic.
Rest in peace, Matthew Perry. :pray_tone1:
Crazy how he's gone, and for all intents and purposes so is Bruce Willis at this point... Basically all three male leads are gone now, not even old.
I have no idea what I just watched. What is it with Hollyweird lately serving up so many slurries of nothing but dysfunctional awkward and cringe, and calling them movies? I guess there's some meta in there somewhere, but geez.
Time sure flies by, we all grew up and so did Hocus Pocus. For all the good and bad it means, it really is updated to "modern standards". The sisters as kids were absolutely phenomenal, two thumbs up for the actors and whoever managed to find them, as perfect a fit as possible, I imagine. The "new trio" though, the movie really fails to do them justice. Then again, considering what that entails these days, perhaps it's not this particular movie's fault - as characters, they're also as cookie cutter as they can be, we've seen them too many times and in these days we see them everywhere. I can't even recall their names and somehow that fact doesn't even bother me so much. In contrast the sisters do bring character, they are still as colourful as they were, perhaps a touch different, but none the worse for wear - which is quite the achievement three decades later. For those of us who saw the first movie as kids, everything they bring (back from the dead) just works, just as well.
The one fault, perhaps, is that this sequel breaks from the original in that it doesn't really feel like a Halloween movie. Maybe intentional, especially considering the very early release, but at the same time it feels a bit of a loss, all things considered. Oh, and Mary's mouth seems to be mirrored, compared to the first movie, for some reason. Having said all that, as a whole the movie manages to bring some of that oldschool Disney charm, which is actually great - if a little predictable at this point (together with that twist at the end). A throughly enjoyable sequel if you liked the original, I might even venture to say it's a graceful one.
There are actual parenting lessons to learn in this movie: how wanting the best for your kid(s) leads to rigidity and stubbornness, an unwillingness to listen and be open. How it leads to irrational, unreasonable reactions and decisions, which escalates into a certain paranoia, and that eventually leads to a hysteria that destroys lives - either in a figurative or a literal way, because both can and do happen. In a way, it's great that someone tried to make that a point and thread a story through all of it.
In another way, it's just so transparent as a framework, so much on the surface - because whatever would actually carry it falls apart from a single breath it's so bad. The script, directing, acting, CGI, even the "plot" such as it is are all just annoyingly bad. So as a movie, there's basically nothing here to enjoy - or even to be spooked by, because... yeah. The Big Bad Thing:tm: looks silly as a character, and at least a decade old and low budget in quality, and that's beyond how overused and exposed it is through the whole thing.
It's frustrating and unfortunate.
It's not the kind of movie that's gonna win any award (probably), but if you want something to switch your brain off and just sit in for some action and laughs at the end of the day/week, it's absolutely perfect. Big budget, high production value, and of course totally nonsensical without much in the way of realism, but all that is exactly what makes it awesome. Definitely hits that Kill Bill vibe in all the right spots, and dilutes it with a touch more humour. Recommended if you want to be entertained and don't mind a bit of gore.
Really not sure what to make of this movie, as I was having a hard time trying to decide what it wanted to be. Very obvious parts conjured images of 50s/70s television in my mind. Other, just as obvious parts felt like they wanted to make a Western, some of it "oldschool", some the more "modern" type. Some of it, I'm sure, has some "deep, underlying" meaning, issues or lectures it wants to weave into its story to educate the audience. There's a very basic down-on-their-luck people wanna get rich fast theme thrown in it for good measure. But then it also wants to be science fiction, and horror/thriller on top of that.
Far as I'm concerned, it fails in all those aspects. There's never enough time for any of that to actually unfold and flourish - and by the way time? It keeps jumping back and forth in that, too, as if constantly switching genres wasn't bad enough. There isn't enough blood/gore here to pass for horror. There isn't enough scares of any kind to keep the adrenaline up. And idk about others, but I definitely found no trace of sci-fi either: the big spoopy alien ship that's nothing but clouds for so long turns out to be a damn weather balloon (no really if you didn't get that impression, idk what to tell ya). Which is ultimately supposed to be some kind of space whale animal, except it's made of some sort of fabric? That gets popped with an actual balloon. None of it's ever expanded on or explained at any level, in any way whatsoever. Nor does any of the threads get tied up, because suddenly it's just - the end. GTFO.
It has some shots that no doubt looked great in IMAX - but outside of that they fail to be anything special. Hell, in this day and age, I'm not even sure it was that special in IMAX. And apart from that... yeah, nope. In just over two hours, I feel like I was kinda duped, as if I'd just watched a Shyamalan movie. I'd like my time back, please.
This whole "let's bring girls in" spin could work if it was an actual sequel to the first movie, shifting the process of growing up to that particular phase. Set ten years apart, however, its connection is loose at best, that is to say, apart from the location and Mr Mertle, who once again only appears at the end - basically non-existent. With so much of the plot, and indeed even the very script itself being practically the same, the girls reduced to complete pointlessness, it feels more like a strained, PC-wannabe attempt at a remake, rather than a sequel that would still be about a decade too late.
Here's another one for the woke crowd. A non-white character has to be played by a non-white person, otherwise it's simply not right. A non-straight character has to be played by a non-straight person, otherwise it's just all wrong. Hell, a black or Indian character in a cartoon just has to be voiced by a black or Indian person, otherwise the world comes to an end! You can even change the sex of a character, for no apparent reason, it would seem. But a canonically 15yo character can, and indeed for all intents and purposes, has to be played by a 26yo guy, because that's okay.
The cinematography and the soundtrack are great. The pacing makes it drag on, I felt it was overly long at two and a half hours; at around the one hour mark I actually remarked how we were still basically playing the tutorial. The story got a little murky and muddled at times. Zendaya's all of maybe 15 minutes of screentime didn't really justify the separate character hypes (although I guess her being the wet dream of teenage boys might just be a legit interpretation of those scenes, lol). Not a bad movie, but it has its own share of issues to be sure.
This was such a weird experience, I'm not even sure what to categorise it as. Family fun? No, there's definitely some scenes that don't fit. Superhero action flick? Nah, there isn't enough action for that. Superhero parody? I think that might be the intention, but I really can't be sure, there's not enough comedy in it for that.
I'm a simple person: I saw Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy, I knew I had to watch. And then I don't know if I had as much fun as I thought I would, which is unfortunate and left me feeling just like the movie itself was: awkward and frustrated. The two main characters, in quite sharp contrast to the movie poster, look just tired mostly throughout the movie, almost to the point of "I really wish I was anywhere else". Which is a crying shame, because everyone knows they can do much better, but somehow they don't really get the chance here. For quick gags and slapstick humour, too many scenes are stretched a lot thinner than they should be - and several of those are even put on repeat. For any sort of dynamic between the two, there isn't enough interaction to let it bloom - and when there is, it's usually one of them having verbal diarrhea, with the other either trying to deflect some curse words or just meekly protesting. It doesn't help that one of them gets some generic super strength (never really allowed to have fun with that either), while the other can just - become invisible, which is really redundant, considering she keeps hiding behind every imaginable cover anyway. I could go on, but you get the point.
There isn't much follow through to so many elements, either, leaving a trail of missed opportunities throughout the entire movie. There's an overly long scene about getting the bully of the school in a dumpster - and then that character's never seen again later, never shows up to get any sort of revenge. There are overly long scenes about how difficult it is for the two women to get into the sleek Lambo - and then it's never an issue anyway, it never makes them arrive late or actually get stuck or anything. Making a point several times about how they can't wash the suits so they start to smell - and only a barely-there, sort of "honorable" mention towards the end where someone actually notices that; and besides, why not just, you know, make more of them, not that that's ever brought up as an option. A bighuge sentimental fuss about granny being in danger, only to watch as nothing ever happens to her. The plot twist (but not really) traitor is discovered and promptly knocked out - and that's about the last we see of her. The guy always botching up the knock-knock jokes? What even is the point of his presence?
As for the others... There's literally no character to The King, he's as generic as they come, I could've sworn he was copy-pasted from a certain series. Crab is just random as all hells, and his arms looked even cheaper than the hero suits (and the randomness of his romance was only second to Tracey's out-of-nowhere hero transformation). And Laser's so one-dimensional, I started to wonder if she even has a single dimension to her. Another pile of unfortunate, because we know full well these two can do a lot better as well.
And... look. I get it: not every character in every movie has to be complex and well written. Not every script has to be well written, either. But if you're trying to aim for comedy, the gags and jokes have to hit and come a lot more frequently, instead of being allowed to sit down and the movie to just trickle between them. If you're aiming for parody, you have to go over the top at least a few times, instead of... idk, never, like this movie does.
I'm frustrated, because I wanted to like this movie, if for nothing else than the two leads, but also for the premise of being a sort of superhero parody. I wanted to conclude that it would be understandable if superhero fans got upset about this movie and hated it, because it pokes fun at all the tropes in all the right ways. I really wanted to... but I can't, because it keeps missing one mark after another, while also dragging on unnecessarily long. It can't even keep its rather on-the-nose nods to PC/SJW issues in check, with how certain things turn out, needlessly adding more to an already long list of frustrations.
It's a really unfortunate one that could have been a lot more than it ended up being.
I have no idea what on earth I just saw but I want my hour and a half back??
I'm not really in the habit of commenting or writing reviews, but I have to make an exception here, as this movie is just awful. I'm genuinely flabbergasted at how something like this can get the funds,get the actors to sign, and can get to a point where it is shot and released. There is no plot, there is no humour, there are no characters - make no mistake, I'm not against completely brainless idiocies themselves, there's a good number of those out there that provide appropriate entertainment in case one just wants to switch off. Watching McConaughey giggle inanely in a nigh-constant cloud of smoke, for an hour and a half, however, just doesn't cut it. I would very much like to know what made all the well established and popular actors agree to be part of this steaming pile of cow dung, because I cannot imagine any good reason. Have they really fallen that low? There are a few decent and nicely placed songs here and there. Maybe some of the colours are pretty if you squint when you're high, I wouldn't know. But those alone are hardly worth suffering through this snoozefest.
FOR MANLY LOVE
BE HERE
MARCH 25th
AT 2:15 AM SHARP
Victorian. Gothic. Renaissance. Steampunk. Surrealism. Absolutely love the amalgamation of eras and cultural/artistic trends here, and it's fortunate that the production value is as sky high as it is, because otherwise this would've been a catastrophe. Even a good mix of various philosophies, and it's great that the story doesn't dwell too much on any of it, doesn't try to shove any particular one down the viewer's throat, and instead lets us take what we want from it all.
Kind of a pity that not half an hour into it, most of it gets sucked into the black hole that is sex, and then just... mostly revolves around that. Could've been a lot more substance, but still. The dialogues are funny in their rawness, there's a few occasional sharp critique here and there... And if nothing else, eventually we're left with quite a lot crammed into 2+ hours of entertainment - if not more, certainly different than most movies these days.
Considering everything else in the movie, I do sincerely hope that tobacco warning at the beginning was meant to be some kinda weird joke though.
"My woman's club is starting a purge on the evil, obscene publications which litter our libraries and our newsstands. I'd love to have Mrs. Bissell join us next Thursday for our weekly book burning if she's free."
I wonder if anyone'd believed that more than half a century later life would imitate art so impeccably?...
I've tried this multiple times now and I just don't get all the praise and high scores. At its best, this movie fair puts me to sleep. At its worst, it's damn unwatchable. I don't know what it is - maybe it's just aged badly, although I've never had that as an issue with any other movie. But if not that, then... I'm really stumped. It's just a struggle from start to end.
All the music is so absolutely on point it's incredible.
