With her vision waning, Lois elects to get LASIK surgery, but exploits her new disability for monetary gain. Meanwhile, Peter, Chris and Stewie must partake in all the activities with Doug that his father neglects.
While at an old record store, Peter and the guys recount tales of three rock legends: Jim Morrison, Muddy Waters and Elton John.
Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his Halloween candy.
Impelled by nostalgia, Peter recreates movie scenes from his favorite decade; Stewie and Doug compete to retrieve a Frisbee stuck at the top of the jungle gym.
When Peter and Quagmire accidentally switch underwear, they begin to mimic the other's behavior. Stewie and Doug agree to commit each other's murders.
Stewie takes drastic measures when he thinks he is diagnosed with terminal cooties. Peter becomes infatuated with Bonnie's cooking.
Lois and her father attend the funeral of Lois' childhood nanny. Peter and the rest of the family turn Pewterschmidt mansion into a hotel.
A new boss quells Peter’s favorite part about work: office birthdays. Stewie is put in detention and comes out a ruffian.
In noir-style, Peter/Mac investigates the disappearance of Meg/Sister Megan.
When Mayor West's nativity scene is ruined, Brian is seen as the prime suspect.
An accident leaves Peter with a high-pitched voice, so Jesus coaches him into fending off the choir boys; Stewie is attracted to Lois' new masculine physique.