You would think that a movie about sending nuclear bombs to the core of the earth in a giant cigar would be little more than two hours of people looking at readouts and calling out numbers. Well you're right, but facts have never held Hollywood back yet, and they didn't start with this turkey!
Sure, there's enough calling out of numbers to put a lotto junky into a coma, but there are also dive-bombing pigeons and sentient lightning intent on detonating world icons! Plus, it turns out that the inside of the earth is not dark at all. It actually looks like bulimic angels binged all night on orange Crush, tinsel, and glow sticks then purged! In fact, it's surprising that more people are not blinded when they try to dig a hole. Throw in the illegitimate son of Lady Elaine Fairchilde as a computer hacker and what's not to love?
That's right, everything.
Never fear, even when Hollywood takes a bevy of great talent and literally throws them in a hole, we are there to turn it into a fun evening. So go ahead, pop in that copy of The Core that you accidentally bought thinking that it was The Score, start up this QuipTrack and laugh your way to the center of the earth and back.
