I don't ever give out ratings to short films, only features, but I'm making an exception for On Your Mark. How Miyazaki managed to make my heart heavy for three characters I knew for all but six minutes, none of whom speak, is a feat I don't think anyone has done before, for me, in a short. Using the lovely music as a backdrop was incredibly ingenious and added another layer to the emotion. This could easily be a feature, and that's my only issue with it, is there's a lot that happens, just wishing it was a tad longer to extend some of the events. It gets the job done. If you missed this, watch it now here, you won't regret experiencing it. You'll have the song stuck in your head.
I'm surprised this one is rated so much lower than the first. I find it better. The writers have found their footing on what they want the franchise to be, creating a genuinely interesting crime thriller, just with loads of more gore than the previous. Tobin Bell makes for an excellent character, without having to overact like other villains in the genre, but it's the twist and story that's unexpectedly fantastic. One of the better written scripts for a horror film, every element comes back in some way. This is a classic I keep coming back to every so often, the characters are fascinating to watch. The score by Charlie Clouser is chilling and classic, completing the haunting tone. On top of which, I love the color palette of dark greens David A. Armstrong and Darren Lynn Bousman chose for this one. Each film seems to have it's own colors. The first had a blue and white scheme, the third a more brown and orange, the fourth and blue and red, and so on. It's oddly deliciously appetizing, in it's dirtiness. If you somehow haven't checked this out, you should. It's much more than what you would expect.
"Because I need to get off this island, to solve the Map No Man Can Read. Lucky I'm a woman."
This is an actual line of dialogue.
Quentin Tarantino Presents
A Lamer Version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake
Meh, I'm conflicted. The music is surprisingly great, and it takes itself a great deal seriously, there's a section in the final act you may get emotional at. Eli Roth has an eye for visuals, and effectively builds tension, but there's not much going on that I really cared about. If you're just looking for some gore and fun, you'll get it. Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth, and Robert Rodriguez all love this kind of shit, and I do too, but man, the characters needed work. Lack of anything going on in the second act. The only amusing segments are at beginning, and last half hour. I find it hysterical, though, Roth considered this his Kill Bill, being presented in two volumes. Will I watch part two? Probably. I'm a sucker for their shit. The Green Inferno, here I come.
This movie wants to be The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and humans rights documentary at the same time, resulting in a tone confused mix of emotions. There's not something glaringly wrong with Traffik, but following the theater exit, I just asked, "What was the point of it?" Supposedly, it's to spread awareness about human trafficking, but the way this plays out as almost of remake of the first The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, then to suddenly switch to an ultra serious dark, is a bold and interesting move, but nothing about this screams either enjoyable or informative. It's a weird hodge podge, is this a horror movie? I guess, but not a fun or, really, scary one. Is it a documentary about human trafficking? Not really, it just closes on a black text stating how many women are trafficked, right before the movie ends. I'm very conflicted on how I feel. This isn't bad, the characters are surprisingly likable, I never hated watching it, but man, it leaves a peculiar taste in your mouth.
It's funny, Mae's biggest fear established at the beginning of this movie, about untapped potential, perfectly summarizes the core problem here. Never read the book, never going to, I think this presents some interesting points about companies like Google, and the internet's invasion of our privacy, but that does not automatically make for great cinema. Ideas, in it of itself, doesn't suffice. Execution is key. We get disastrous levels of writing, televisual direction, and cringe-inducing performances, all take center stage in The Circle.
Was disappointing. Had the production value of a big-budget television movie, but somehow, this was released in theaters, during the 3-D gimmick era of 2009. Only saving grace are the deaths, but you get the same creative shit from the Friday the 13th series. Just don't bother.
I'M GOING TO BUY ALL THE TOYS RIGHT NOW, DON'T CARE IF IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A LOSER. THIS MOVIE IS SO DAMN WONDERFUL, I'M AT LOSS FOR IT'S MONUMENTOUS GLORY. THIS IS THE BLOCKBUSTER EVENT OF THE SUMMER, SCREW INFINITY WAR. SEE A NON-STOP BARRAGE OF INSANE MONSTER ON MONSTER ACTION. THE AGE OF KAIJU TAKING OVER HOLLYWOOD IS NOW.
I'm really struggling to give this film a higher score. It's excellently done, the slow tension is magnificent, the music is memorable, and Jason Clarke is one of my new favorite actors. John Curran nails the slow-burn vibe I crave. My chest was heavy the minute the car flipped into the water, up 'til the end titles. The 1970's production design, layering on top the acting from the entire cast is terrific. It's not an epic like JFK, that leaves the audience questioning the events long after they've left the theater, but it gets the job done. I think the one set-back I feel with Chappaquiddick is length. What brilliant presentation we're given is undercut by a short story. Some of you could say that's good, I loved what was done and just wanted more, but I seriously think the run-time hurts my overall satisfaction. Just twenty minutes more could bump this up. I still love what was done, ignoring this personal qualm. The sense of loss and personal connection to Ted Kennedy you feel throughout the film is exquisite. Definitely check it out, just expect a short, but good story.
:point_right::projector:(:rooster::no_entry_sign:)=:poop:
:eggplant:≠:face_with_hand_over_mouth:
Not the worst offense of the year, but nothing we haven't seen before. Only this time, thrown in some more lecturing and dated humor. The amount of vulgarity expressed in the movie is to be expected, and it will please some crowds just of how up-front it is, but it wears thin. The biggest compliment I can give Blockers is it really trudges ahead to make likable characters. Ike Barinholtz is a funny dude, Leslie Mann really tries her all, but whenever a "dramatic" moment was happening, I couldn't take it seriously. It's a comedy, yes, but the fake tears and arguments about gender politics just came across as hamfisted and :sleepy::zzz:. At least Kay Cannon has done her research about the internet. To all my 4chan anons reading this, there's a character in this movie named Chad, who wears a fedora, owns a samurai, and eats Cheetos.
A Cure For Wellness but not AS riveting... or striking. The camera-work is great, all the shots are made to look like they're recorded by a guy hiding from faraway or from a security camera. A couple creepy ideas, held back by derivative script and monstrously lackluster third act; just nothing too special to become a modern classic. However, certainly worth checking over other trash-fires out now.
How dare they disrespect the late Bill Paxton by titling the movie... Game Over, Man! It doesn't even make sense in context of the script, there are no references to Aliens in this. Makes me sick, we're so desperate for nostalgia bait, we're resorting to quotes from much better films. Count me out. Netflix is the new platform for straight-to-video movies. Very fitting given the level of quality being dumped onto it. There's a scene where a man eats another man's hairy ass, right on-screen, and I just felt so dirty, that I was watching it.
GnomeBusters
Gnome With The Wind
The Invisible Gnome
Gnome Night
12 Angry Gnomes
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Gnome
The Silence Of The Gnomes
Gnome And See
Gnome Alone
Only Gnome Forgives
Gnomes Of New York
Running With The Gnomes
RoboGnome
Gnomerise Kingdom
Mission Impossible: Gnome Protocal
Gnome Torino
Gnome Of Steel
Shin Gnomezilla
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Gnome's Chest
Gnome: A Star Wars Story
The Lego Gnome Movie
Lara Croft Gnome Raider
How The Gnome Stole Christmas
Gnome In The Shell
The Gnome Who Leapt Through Time
Neon Gnomesis Evangelion
And just simply... The Gnome Movie.
It's Sharknado without the sharks, directed by the guy who did the original The Fast And The Furious... shame. That's all I've got to say, no one saw this movie any-ways, probably no one cares about this "review." I must say, the amount of continuity errors in the final chase scene, which is proudly displayed on the poster, is off the charts. The whole finale happens in the eye of the hurricane, that means the storm clouds should be encapsulating on all sides. However, because the dozen or so studios who financed this hurricane-scale proportions of a mess must've run out of budget money, the effects are clearly missing for over half the shots. Any shot that shows ahead of the truck, not behind, the cloud wave is missing. I suppose they assumed any braindead audience members just wouldn't care? In any circumstance, it's an unforgivable over-sight. It's unfortunate the entire movie is not stupid enough to be an enjoyable disaster. I'd rather sit through another real hurricane, infinitely more entertaining.
I guess I forgot to log this one, I don't know why I didn't before. Just a few QUICK thoughts, Peter Rabbit is a strangely decent children's movie that touches on a few bases that the adult-friendly The LEGO Movie harnesses, and manages to secure a jolly little ride. Plenty of fourth-wall breaks, hilariously edited action montages, courtesy of Peter Menzies Jr., ironic jokes, and some glorious comedic timing. Domhnall Gleeson is quickly becoming one of my most favorite Irish actors, and the very second he comes on-screen, he steals the whole movie. The picture starts off slow and imitative, but Gleeson's charming and wild performance makes the feature a worthwhile price of admission. I wouldn't go full-price showing, but a Tuesday discount or MoviePass entrance will be sure to give you a number of good laughs. Very surprised about this one. If you were predicting Sony to treat the property akin to their hideous live-action The Smurfs adaptations, you will be surprised too.
You know that thing people do when they re-watch a movie to test if it was the initial hype or bias blinding them from objective deconstructing? Well, re-watching Mary and the Witch's Flower did the opposite, it confirmed my hype. My rating is actually going up to my perfect-tier. I had tears in my eyes during the credits. Any film that can do that automatically gets five stars, because that is so hard to do to me. I don't like to think I'm cynical towards movies, but at the same time, I think movies have to earn their emotional pay-offs, I hate being cheated. I don't at all feel cheated with Mary. I had minor problems with the script the first viewing, but on a second-view, I don't have those problems anymore. I absolutely adore this movie, I hope more people can see this. Because this was a Fathom Events, we got a sneak-preview after the movie showing concept art for Studio Ponoc's next movie. I'm so happy the movie was a success to further their studio along.
Not one scene lasts more than two minutes. I started timing it, like I got a calculator out and starting counting the amount of time each scene had. As someone who's becoming a professional editor, this movie offends me. This is beyond embarrassing. This is a marvel. It needs to be shown in film and editing classes on what not to do. You could study this. Sony's lucky they had Jumanji last year. I almost want them to fail after this pile of predictable, formulaic, mediocre, bland, and sensory-raping trash. I started laughing my ass off at one part where Matthew McConaughey's dialogue didn't match his lips at all. I had to take frequent breaks every ten minutes just so I could stomach this hour and a half disaster. Like, just, fuck this movie and everyone who edited it.
Thanks to 4chan, this movie is now so bad it's funny.
Annie Oakley > Atomic Blonde
I have nothing else to say about this, I just decided to make a random comment as I marathon a bunch of short films before the year ends. Happy New Year, everyone!
Like Tommy said, "You can laugh, you can cry, you can express yourself. Just don't hurt yourself."
When they started comparing scenes from this movie to the original during the end credits, I nearly lost my cool in the theater. This movie is not just a masterpiece, but an important one. Everyone is invited to come live on Tommy's planet, where we all love each other, and the world is a better place to live. Anyone who has dreams should watch this movie. It's not just a humorous look at the strange creature that is Tommy, but an inspiration to those who want to make it big in any industry. It hits the mark on every technical level, but manages to tell a surprisingly mixed emotional fable, like, it's hard to believe this really happen. It's human behavior, as Tommy says in the movie.
I can't watch The Room the same way again. James Franco, you are brilliant, sir.
Easily my favorite of all of Georges Méliès' films. I was actually laughing out-loud while watching this. An silly and over-the-top visual acting comedy sketch that's timeless in it's humor.
Walked out fifty minutes in. Roman's like autistic Ben Affleck from The Accountant, only this movie's not good and it sucks and it can go to hell. There's so much wrong with it, I won't bother writing it. It's clear the writer didn't bother either. For any poor souls with time to waste on this shit, take a shot any time Denzel Washington pushes his glasses up and rubs his face. Take three shots of hard liquor every time he eats a peanut butter sandwich. You will die in the first twenty minutes.
To think, Zack Snyder made a more visually interesting movie with his iPhone than Marvel does with IMAX cameras. This short speaks volumes about the movie-making process.
That sequence where Glenn Howerton walks slowly through the house while the Mama Tried vinyl plays, and the killer follows behind him, makes this movie worth a watch just for that. A couple of unnecessary slow sequences, but goddamn, there's some nuggets of sheer brilliance locked in this movie. A little more work on the writing would've helped, but overall, the direction and choice of music was superb. I'll be revisiting this movie just for some of the great scenes scattered throughout.
Not sure how to rate this one. Just saw it. Will have to let it sit with me for a bit. I do know that I liked it, though. Just not sure if I only liked or loved it.
Easily one of the best movie making documentaries ever to be created. Even if you don't care for Zombie's movie, the level of detail that was put into this FOUR HOUR bonus feature is astounding. I want to keep reliving the first time watching. Just a seriously fantastic compilation. Screw those nerdwriter1-esque video essays on Youtube, if you want to actually get into making movies and understanding the business for real, watch this now. It's like you're experiencing everything in real time.
I guess this movie's like non-fiction now, right guys?
Eh, for what it is, it's enjoyable enough. What really elevates this movie up though is it's brilliant concept, and how it actually has an effect on it's characters and resolution. There's a few points in the middle I didn't care for, and motivations that felt extremely unrealistic, but it's got it where it counts. I hear the sequels are better though, so I'm excited to watch those. This could use a bit of tweaking, but I'm going to be nice and give this a generous pass. Didn't hate it, don't think it's amazing, but I think it's a cool idea.
Was not expecting to like this one as much as I did. I don't think it's a masterpiece or like the greatest movie ever, but that's not to say I was fully intrigued and focused on it from beginning to end. Enough engaging sequences and surprisingly funny scenes brought this psychological ride to the level that I would consider to be great. I don't necessarily get the huge fan-base it's gotten, but I could see it as more of a cult hit. It's a bizarre movie and not one I'll probably revisit soon, but I'm glad I saw it. When Donnie ripped into Jim Cunningham, I was on the verge of laughing my ass off. That scene alone earns this movie at least four stars.
Easy watch today, because again, I'm busy with life and other projects. I'm a fan of Hardcastle's work, from his Pingu's The Thing and his other clay-mation work. Chainsaw Maid though, is a very peculiar series of videos. I love chainsaws in my horror films and this seemed like the perfect combination of sexy and horrific, but there's a good balance. I almost view this maid as the Ripley from Alien: a badass that has to protect a kid. Now, for some reason, Hardcastle has an extreme fetish for this clay-mation and the maid doesn't finally get nude until the third part, which is actually the worst one, but the first works. If you're going to watch any of these, just watch the first, The other two just aren't good enough for recommendations.
