filmtoaster
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Scooby-Doo! The Sword and the Scoob

Last five minutes ruin an otherwise fine movie. These writers need to be kicked off Scooby-Doo, especially after Return To Zombie Island. Such a vendetta against the idea that monsters could be real in this universe.

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The Garfield Movie

I think I finally understand the phrase "made for the iPad generation" now. What a weird f*cking movie.

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Battle at Big Rock

That... that fucking rocked. badum tiss

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Don't Breathe

What a great thriller. It doesn't go that far beyond it's concept, but it still kept me engaged and on the edge of my seat, guessing what was going to happen next.

From the people behind Evil Dead, and the amazing Sam Raimi, is a very effective horror?/thriller burglar movie. The direction from Fede Álvarez is just as great as he always is. Lots of panning long takes and a vivid color scheme, even for a movie that takes place in a dark, moody house. I wasn't necessarily terrified at what I was watching, but plenty of new scenarios kept coming up that interested me the entire runtime. The night-vision scene in the basement is one of the coolest sequences I've seen executed in quite awhile.

There's plenty of little twists and turns here and there, maybe a little predictable at parts, but nonetheless, still a very exciting and worthwhile suspense feature.

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Fed Up

Still a great documentary that shaped my way I view food. In the past year, I've lost 40 pounds thanks to motivation from this eye-opening movie. Whether it be effective for you or not, it's still worthy of checking out. Well put together with plenty of interesting interviews and well documented verifiable research. Some people will argue the whole "Calories-In Calories-Out" debate, but I say, this movie still delivers a hopeful and positive message.

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Oz the Great and Powerful

As someone who absolutely adores both Sam Raimi and the original The Wizard of Oz film from 1939, it's a shame how painfully average and sometimes cringe-inducing this movie is. It's nowhere near a bad movie, but it could've been so much more. James Franco has no distinct or interesting personality, Mila Kunis was a fucking atrocious choice for the wicked witch of the west, and the CGI sidekicks were annoying at best.

Raimi, I love you. I expect much more from you. I love all your other movies, but this one... dang.

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules

I can't believe I'm saying this... but this movie is actually not that bad. In fact, it's pretty dang good at parts.

One of the extremely rare cases where the sequel to a shitty film actually improves on every aspect. It's funny, it's got heart, it's got drama, it's got everything. It's probably the best a 'Wimpy Kid' movie is going to get being on the big screen.

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Wreck-It Ralph
6

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BlockedParent2020-03-03T03:17:39Z— updated 2021-02-07T08:44:57Z

In my opinion, Disney's last good animated feature. Ralph just wants to be given praise and admiration like his co-worker, Fix-It Felix. But instead, Ralph is left to sleep in the garbage while Felix gets to live in a tower suite. Ralph eventually decides he's had enough and runs off into another arcade game to earn a medal, hoping that people back home at his own game will treat him with respect because of it. However, things turn south and the end of the arcade could be near if Ralph doesn't get back to his own game in time.

A very sweet and surprisingly deep film for a story about video game characters in an arcade. It's actually brilliant. The writers clearly have a knowledge of how video game machines work and how to speak in game lingo. This allows the movie to reference other games in a more subtle and genuinely clever light. I won't spoil any of them, but it's quite a treat, especially if you're a game fan. Even if you aren't, the film offers a very heartfelt and sometimes sad story about a bad guy who just wants to be good.

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Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams

"Do you think... God stays in heaven, because he too lives in fear of what he's created?"

A Spy Kids movie should not get this deep.

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Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

Finally getting to see this movie again, I forgot how many good things were in this. I was especially surprised at how convincing the child actors were in their roles. I thought Jim Carrey could be annoying at times, but it's actually not a bad adaptation like everyone makes it out to be. Definitely better than Nickelodeon's other movies based on books.

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Super 8

It's fun, but forgettable, and that really sucks. I want to give it a higher rating.

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Better Off Dead...

I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

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The Disappearance of Alice Creed

I watched this for a screenwriting class; it's not the first thing I would recommend to my students, but there's enough here to appreciate. There's no dialogue for the first, maybe, ten minutes; it's a montage of the two kidnappers very elaborately setting up their apartment room where they will hold their victim ransom. The script has enough twists, turns, and raw performances to keep you interested. Because the movie starts out with the two kidnappers and spends most of the time with them, you end up feeling for them at a couple spots (I won't spoil what the reveals are, they actually will take you by surprise). What enhanced my viewing of this immensely was turning on the Saw soundtrack over most of the movie; you should try it to. Like Saw, the majority of the runtime takes place in one room, or here, one house. It's not the most original script ever, but it kept me engaged to a degree where I didn't want to turn it off, and that's high praise from me.

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Donnie Darko

Was not expecting to like this one as much as I did. I don't think it's a masterpiece or like the greatest movie ever, but that's not to say I was fully intrigued and focused on it from beginning to end. Enough engaging sequences and surprisingly funny scenes brought this psychological ride to the level that I would consider to be great. I don't necessarily get the huge fan-base it's gotten, but I could see it as more of a cult hit. It's a bizarre movie and not one I'll probably revisit soon, but I'm glad I saw it. When Donnie ripped into Jim Cunningham, I was on the verge of laughing my ass off. That scene alone earns this movie at least four stars.

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Transformers

R.I.P. Chester Bennington from Linkin Park

Their song, "What I've Done," plays in the end credits of this movie.

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Transformers: The Last Knight

These films are the ultimate pleb filter. How you can watch the last 30 minutes to this and not think it's the most amazing finale you've ever seen in a feature film is beyond me.

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Chernobyl

I'm glad this show is going to expose more people as to what happened at Chernobyl and why it was one of the greatest fuck ups in human history, making 18+ miles in a circle radius completely uninhabitable. The show does a great job creating shocks and presenting it in a dramatic fashion. Despite one or two things that are fabricated for the sake of showmanship or turning elongated events into concise ones, the show doesn't tarnish anything that happened and paints a very disturbing picture that hopefully illustrates to new audiences why the event was so tragic. This is extremely good work and I hope even more mini series' come out in it's wake.

Also, I liked Superhero Movie, so I was here first.

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Kong: Skull Island

Alright, after seeing it 7 times now, I can definitively say this is one of the best movies I've ever seen and probably the best monster movie ever created. I absolutely love every single thing about this movie. No complaints from me on any level, from the characters, the music, the performances, the visual effects, Evangelion inspired shot choices, the editing, bright color palettes, fucking everything. I can't get enough of this masterpiece. I really can't. I keep watching little parts of it on a daily basis.

I actually tear up now when I see Lt. Hank Marlow return home to his family. Such a sweet moment.

10/10 everything. I don't know how the Monsterverse cinematic movies can impress any further. They've raised the bar so high up now.

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Saw

Watched it this time with my grandmother... yeah, really. To my surprise and amusement, she liked it a lot. After going on a personal marathon watching the later Saw movies, it's almost jarring how tame James Wan and Leigh Whannel's original is in comparison. Hardly any gore is shown and anything extreme is kept cut away or tastefully presented. This low budget endeavor relies a lot on the writing and fast editing from Kevin Greutert. It's already a classic, so I don't need to explain any details or make a recommendation. I remember my parents walked out of the theater, originally, in complete shock at the twist that came way out of left field. As giddy as I get at the sight of gratuitous and silly hardcore violence, I love how restrained and accessible the one that started it all is. Bring on Aquaman.

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Pokémon: The First Movie

This movie... is now 20 years old... fuck, I feel old. Feels like just yesterday I was watching the DVD's for the classic Pokémon movies, I mean, before they got rid of Misty and Brock. I've since seen this movie on the big screen, watched Pokémon GO get released, and now a live action Pikachu movie go into production. The memories I've had with 4Kids, Pokémon, and Yu-Gi-Oh! are experiences I will never forget. I stopped watching after the fifth movie and 4Kids stopped dubbing, but I still look back on this with a fondness. I may grow up and mature, but I'll always hold a little place in my heart for this series. It's so weird now to refer to these movies as classic or more than ten years old, let alone twenty.

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Saw II

I'm surprised this one is rated so much lower than the first. I find it better. The writers have found their footing on what they want the franchise to be, creating a genuinely interesting crime thriller, just with loads of more gore than the previous. Tobin Bell makes for an excellent character, without having to overact like other villains in the genre, but it's the twist and story that's unexpectedly fantastic. One of the better written scripts for a horror film, every element comes back in some way. This is a classic I keep coming back to every so often, the characters are fascinating to watch. The score by Charlie Clouser is chilling and classic, completing the haunting tone. On top of which, I love the color palette of dark greens David A. Armstrong and Darren Lynn Bousman chose for this one. Each film seems to have it's own colors. The first had a blue and white scheme, the third a more brown and orange, the fourth and blue and red, and so on. It's oddly deliciously appetizing, in it's dirtiness. If you somehow haven't checked this out, you should. It's much more than what you would expect.

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Mary and The Witch's Flower

You know that thing people do when they re-watch a movie to test if it was the initial hype or bias blinding them from objective deconstructing? Well, re-watching Mary and the Witch's Flower did the opposite, it confirmed my hype. My rating is actually going up to my perfect-tier. I had tears in my eyes during the credits. Any film that can do that automatically gets five stars, because that is so hard to do to me. I don't like to think I'm cynical towards movies, but at the same time, I think movies have to earn their emotional pay-offs, I hate being cheated. I don't at all feel cheated with Mary. I had minor problems with the script the first viewing, but on a second-view, I don't have those problems anymore. I absolutely adore this movie, I hope more people can see this. Because this was a Fathom Events, we got a sneak-preview after the movie showing concept art for Studio Ponoc's next movie. I'm so happy the movie was a success to further their studio along.

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American Made

That was fucking badass. And hilarious. Two Doug Liman movies this year and they're both fantastic. I'm not going to say anything else. You have to see this for yourself. I love it. Technically this isn't a horror movie, but this is all I saw today.

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The Empire Strikes Back

Would anyone of my followers like to see me take on the Star Wars movies before the crap-fest Han Solo spin-off comes out? I have some thoughts I could get off my chest, but it'd take awhile to write.

Just going to throw this out there: I like The Phantom Menace.

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The Onion Movie

The most underrated comedy of all time. I mean that.

This has non-stop hilarious skits every minute and every single one hits their mark (Minus one). Each one tackles a different modern topic, ranging from movie critics, to identity politics, to terrorism, to advertising, to celebrities, black people, white people, etc. No one is left behind in this satire of epic proportions. It seriously had me rolling with laughter throughout the entire movie. Steven Seagal as Cock Puncher needs to be a real movie.

I adore this movie. I love it more than Spaceballs.

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Meet the Robinsons

"Around here, however, we don't looks backwards for very long.

We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious... and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

Happy 10th anniversary to one of the greatest animated movies ever put to the silver screen. Everyone on the planet Earth can learn something from this masterpiece, and hopefully, it can inspire them too.

This is a movie that makes you reflect on who you are as a person, where you're from, and where you'll go in the future. Life is short, so live it to the fullest and in the moment. Love you all. Keep moving forward.

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Big Trouble in Little China

With an excellent dash of likable characters, funny jokes, incredibly impressive visual effects, and a couple of genuine WTF moments, John Carpenter's "Big Trouble in Little China" is one of his finest works.

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Saw VI

Probably the best Saw out of the post-Saw 2 films. The series finally goes back to it's political message roots and tackles some serious topics, while weaving them into it's bloody horror style. The mix of healthcare discussion and survival horror is actually quite brilliant.

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Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Damn, I just rewatched several parts of it, and I forgot how good this actually was. I was on the Genisys hype train for quite awhile, but once it wore off and I looked at the staying power of each of the Terminator films... this is the most memorable Post-Terminator 2 sequel to come out. Nick Stahl actually does a great job of continuing the lonely and paranoid character, John Conner, and I actually prefer Arnold's performance here over Genisys. The downright depressing and almost hopeless attitude the movie has makes it a rather fitting entry into the series, despite it being not directed by James Cameron. That ending with the nuclear bombs going off is actually bone-chilling. One of my favorite moments of the whole series. The story repeats a little too many beats from the previous two, but it works them around in a way that feels new and fresh. The action is a blast, the crane sequence being the peak of the first act, and there's lots of great moments. Overall, very good movie that I underrated for awhile there.

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Pokémon: The First Movie

"The human sacrificed himself... to save the Pokémon. I pited them against each other, but not until they set aside their differences did I see the true power they all share deep inside."

mew

"I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life... that determines who you are."

Love live old Pokémon. I will always remember you.

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