I didn't know Maxmoefoe was in this movie... I mean, look! He's on the poster!
The only good scene is the one they used for the poster. Effective scene, but the rest sucks.
"I have a vagina."
THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE
i hate society sometimes...
I only laughed at the rabid chipmunks sketch, "Head On!" parody commercial, and Kung Fu Panda fight sequence. The rest sucks.
You know that power button on your laptop? Yeah, you should try that sometime.
The same guy who did all the Mad Max films made this...
Why?
I just saw the trailer for this before The LEGO Batman movie.
I've never cringed so fucking hard in a cinema.
I'll give this movie credit for one thing: It's a fucking blast to watch with some friends at a party. This is the perfect terrible movie to riff and bash for the entire runtime. The acting is some of the worst I've seen, sadly coming from some very talented people. The story is a blatant almost exact copy of The Terminator, and the fucking camera work + editing leaves me at a loss for words. I can't even describe how bad the editing is. You just have to see it for yourself. So, here you go. Enjoy it in all it's glorious shittiness.
One of the most boring pieces of shit I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Holy shit, it was SO boring. This movie is the prime example why I hate Mila Kunis.
Hollywood really is dead and it'll only get worse.
Everyone wants to be David Lynch without putting in the effort. This is the perfect horror film to watch if you're a dyssemic Redditor whose wife's boyfriend is coming over and you need to waste some time.
This is 2018's The Snowman. Nothing else to say.
It's Sharknado without the sharks, directed by the guy who did the original The Fast And The Furious... shame. That's all I've got to say, no one saw this movie any-ways, probably no one cares about this "review." I must say, the amount of continuity errors in the final chase scene, which is proudly displayed on the poster, is off the charts. The whole finale happens in the eye of the hurricane, that means the storm clouds should be encapsulating on all sides. However, because the dozen or so studios who financed this hurricane-scale proportions of a mess must've run out of budget money, the effects are clearly missing for over half the shots. Any shot that shows ahead of the truck, not behind, the cloud wave is missing. I suppose they assumed any braindead audience members just wouldn't care? In any circumstance, it's an unforgivable over-sight. It's unfortunate the entire movie is not stupid enough to be an enjoyable disaster. I'd rather sit through another real hurricane, infinitely more entertaining.
You want to know the best thing about this movie?
Emma Watson turned down "La La Land" to do this...
The lowest of low. The editing is nauseating, the acting is atrociously bad, the stark contrast between reshoots and original photography are obvious, and the story is as devoid as life as you can ruin a such rich legend. How anyone can defend such an embarrassment from the studio has to stem from some blind brand loyalty. There is nothing passionate behind the lens, nothing resonating off the screen, it's a once interesting dramatic take on the story raped in to a 300 million disaster dumped on to Disney+.
This is one of a handful of Disney sequels that actually surpasses the original. That's not saying much, though.
Decent little short, but the jackasses in my theater wouldn't shut up. Even during the moments clearly meant to tug on the heart strings, everyone was laughing. Have audiences become so used to jokes that they expect nothing but mind numbing stimuli when they go to the theater? I guess screw everyone who's wanting to make it big telling dramatic stories. Yes, there are parts of this short that are clearly humorous, but I'm talking the emotional climax. I was ready to walk out, it was so bad. Cinema is dead.
Eh, it was fine. Appears to be like the stock "bad people in house" starter pack school project I've seen done in many others like it. The saving grace is just the couple of twists that keep it interesting, like the reveal of the family auctioning for ideal people, moreso their talents. However, a win for best screenplay? Absolutely not, I thought A Cure for Wellness did it's writing better. I compare the two because the stories are a slightly similar. I fail to see what's so amazing about this, other than Jordan Peele's direction. And no, I didn't watch expecting to hate it, nor do I hate it. It just underwhelms me a little.
"Because I need to get off this island, to solve the Map No Man Can Read. Lucky I'm a woman."
This is an actual line of dialogue.
Quentin Tarantino Presents
A Lamer Version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake
Meh, I'm conflicted. The music is surprisingly great, and it takes itself a great deal seriously, there's a section in the final act you may get emotional at. Eli Roth has an eye for visuals, and effectively builds tension, but there's not much going on that I really cared about. If you're just looking for some gore and fun, you'll get it. Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth, and Robert Rodriguez all love this kind of shit, and I do too, but man, the characters needed work. Lack of anything going on in the second act. The only amusing segments are at beginning, and last half hour. I find it hysterical, though, Roth considered this his Kill Bill, being presented in two volumes. Will I watch part two? Probably. I'm a sucker for their shit. The Green Inferno, here I come.
This movie wants to be The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and humans rights documentary at the same time, resulting in a tone confused mix of emotions. There's not something glaringly wrong with Traffik, but following the theater exit, I just asked, "What was the point of it?" Supposedly, it's to spread awareness about human trafficking, but the way this plays out as almost of remake of the first The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, then to suddenly switch to an ultra serious dark, is a bold and interesting move, but nothing about this screams either enjoyable or informative. It's a weird hodge podge, is this a horror movie? I guess, but not a fun or, really, scary one. Is it a documentary about human trafficking? Not really, it just closes on a black text stating how many women are trafficked, right before the movie ends. I'm very conflicted on how I feel. This isn't bad, the characters are surprisingly likable, I never hated watching it, but man, it leaves a peculiar taste in your mouth.
GnomeBusters
Gnome With The Wind
The Invisible Gnome
Gnome Night
12 Angry Gnomes
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Gnome
The Silence Of The Gnomes
Gnome And See
Gnome Alone
Only Gnome Forgives
Gnomes Of New York
Running With The Gnomes
RoboGnome
Gnomerise Kingdom
Mission Impossible: Gnome Protocal
Gnome Torino
Gnome Of Steel
Shin Gnomezilla
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Gnome's Chest
Gnome: A Star Wars Story
The Lego Gnome Movie
Lara Croft Gnome Raider
How The Gnome Stole Christmas
Gnome In The Shell
The Gnome Who Leapt Through Time
Neon Gnomesis Evangelion
And just simply... The Gnome Movie.
Not sure how to rate this one. Just saw it. Will have to let it sit with me for a bit. I do know that I liked it, though. Just not sure if I only liked or loved it.
Holy crap, I need to make a video comparing this movie to Toy Story, 'cause some of the plot elements and even lines of dialogue are identical to the Toy Story trilogy. That being said, the movie itself is just above average. Decent music, pretty good animation, and some genuinely funny moments that bring this rip-off to enjoyable-enough levels.
The second the movie falls apart is when the mother turns into a bear.
First half okay, second half garbage.
I've definitely seen worse comedies out there. I think the biggest problem I have with it, and television shows like 'Family Guy', is the over-reliance on reference humor. It's like the film makers are saying, "Hey audience members, we saw Jurassic Park movies. Look, we know memorable scenes from them. Doesn't that just make us so fucking funny?" Every scene, they're just casually listing off a popular movie, thinking that makes their own movie good. It's really gotten old. Reference humor is one of the lowest forms of comedy you can do now.
I admit, I enjoyed Zac Efron and the other actresses in their roles. There were a couple of funny scenes, but nothing really sticks out to me... except one particularly cringe-worthy massage scene in the middle of the movie. It's something straight out of Sacha Baron Cohen production, it's really crude and goes on for too long. You remember that extremely explicit elephant sex scene from 'The Brothers Grimsby'? Yeah, it's a little like that, except it's not as explicit.
A couple funny scenes are ultimately bogged down by some really terrible cringe-worthy moments, making this just another average comedy.
LET IT GROW, LET IT GROW
HAD BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE?
I admit... I kind of enjoyed this movie. Probably Illuminations' only above average movie. I can see actual effort was put into this.
It wasn't bad... but, it was just so average and forgettable.
I literally have nothing to say about this movie, I've forgotten almost all of it except the basic structure. I remember enjoying it, so that's why it's below average.
I don't even know why, but I was incredibly bored sitting through this. I feel like I should've enjoyed it, but I just didn't. I didn't care for any of the characters or what was happening in the story, that was written around every 'Beatles' song ever made... Insteresting idea.
This movie lied to me. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
