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Private Notes
Rich has been laid down low with an admittedly indirectly sexually transmitted disease, but nothing can stop him from starting this 10th and now kickstarted series. His guest once dreamed of being a Roman Catholic Priest, but luckily chose a less religious route, it’s Armando Iannucci.
The pair discuss the rivalry and tensions in the world of classical music, what a post-Brexit Thick of It might look like, the death of Stalin, how Veep was created, what you can find in the houses of former Tory ministers and how close Iannucci came to being trampled by a hippo.
Rich meets his audience and finds a man who works in genealogy who can trace his family back an absolutely unbelievable distance, before introducing his guest, Dutch cabaretier Hans Teeuwen. In a somewhat disjointed chat, largely due to the virus circulating round Richard’s blood stream, they talk about death, ageing, dementia and giving up comedy. Oh yeah, full of laughs.
But you can also find out the Dutch for beak and palate, whether it’s fair to talk of the decline of Paul McCartney and just how difficult it is to describe Teewen’s comedy.
Moral benchmarks and locker room banter are on Richard’s mind, as he gives a kickstarter backer the finest champagne available to man (if the man is shopping in Sainsburys and has £15). His guest is cock-goblin comedian and sitcom star, Dane Baptiste.
The pair talk about their experiences of working in advertising sales, which celebrities went to their schools, what was Rick Buckler’s most successful band, the recent Andrew Lawrence documentary, working with Don Warrington, glass ceilings, prejudice, capital punishment and a surprising amount of serious subjects.
But you can also find out what it’s like to be a twin, Dane’s sleeping position and why he can’t hook up with any women from one of the Grenadian islands.
Richard has been filming the kickstarter extra where he interviews his ventriloquist dummy Ally and the 125 year old terrifying monstrosity at the centre of a possible sex crime is introduced to the crowd.
Richard’s guest is the home-schooled, Benedict Cumberbatch botherer, Caitlin Moran.
Caitlin discusses her ambitious plans to kickstart the cancelled yet award-winning Raised by Wolves (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...), (the show has been bumped up in the schedule so apologies for any minor disruptions of running jokes), how she nearly broke into Kate Moss’ house, why you shouldn't give an 18 year old a TV show and possibly the most unconvincing ghost story so far and how she used numerology to help her choose her name.
Ally has a question about feminism that is very offensive, but you have to remember that he is from another time.
Richard welcomes a newbie audience member from Canada in his usual unpleasant style, before bringing on a man who had the name first, so why should he change it, it’s Will Smith (UK).
The pair reminisce about forgotten masterpieces Banter and Time Gentlemen Please, before discussing what they would do if they had Adam Sandler’s money, Will shows he’s still got it when it comes to Six Degrees of Bergerac, they pitch a lot of genius ideas for Dragon’s Den and work out how to have definitely consensual sex with a ghost.
There’s time to chat about Marillion, how to be a living statue, growing up in Jersey and the move from stand-up to writing Emmy-award winning comedy and novels - check out Will’s fantastic book Mainlander https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mainlander-W... - And there’s more new emergency questions as Richard struggles to get to the ridiculous kickstarter target he has set himself.
There are some fine beards on display in the front row as always, but it’s all about the puny moustache that we can see on stage tonight. It’s on the face of the first knight to every appear on RHLSTP, Sir Anthony Robinson.
Find out what happened to Fat Tulip’s garden,what inspired Maid Marian, why Brian Blessed attempted to make a citizen’s arrest on Tony, what happened when Time Team came to Cheddar Gorge and if a knight of the realm has every tried to suck his own pork sword. Some great stuff about Blackadder and Rowan Atkinson too.
Richard has had his topical comedy well pretty much depleted by recording AIOTM the night before this, but considers creating a new beard based podcast, but luckily relents to introduce comedian, actor and wannabe humanitarian Kerry Godliman.
They discuss working with Christopher Guest, how Richard could have gone to drama school if only he’d been any good at acting, being rescued by a topless lady, how to pronounce taramasalata, whether political comedy is the be all and end all and what motivates comedians to do charity.
Rich discovers that someone from US TV is in the audience and considers sending the guest home so he can audition for a stand-up special, but Chris Addison is backstage and it would be rude to do that after he’s bothered to come in.
The pair chat about wikipedia based factual inaccuracies, the true story of how Chris was nearly Doctor Who, the technical realities of sewing people together anus to mouth, some thoughtful exposition about a world with realistic robots, whether opera is obviously shit or if it’s actually good, why American TV produces the results that the UK seemingly can’t, as well as having a smack down between the average Herring and Addison fans.
And can Rich Columbo Chris at the end?
Rich finds a woman in the audience who doesn’t seem to know where she is, who he is or understand the concept of remembering. She continues to be bamboozled throughout the show. And perhaps with reason as this chat with pretend aristocrat and real diabetic Ed Gamble takes some odd turns.
In one of the giddiest podcasts for quite some time Richard tries out a lot of new emergency questions which prompt discussions about the sleeping habits of gametes, the dangers of falling into a river, an impression of Buzz Nigeria and whether asking someone if they’re tried sashima is an acceptable question.
A nuclear physicist is on hand to discuss the chemistry of jumping into a pool of something and Ed has to decide if he’d save Rich from crucifixion. There’s also some chat about Mock the Week, Drunk History and how this whole podcast is very much a practice for interviewing a more famous guest. And a quiz about retailers leads to the invention of an exciting new board game. And we see the unwelcome return of Victorian idiot, Ally.
Rich is reeling from a Pointless betrayal of the twin-Judases, but he rises above it to introduce podcaster, writer, businesswomen, feminist and champion of diversity Deborah Frances-White.
There are some fascinating stories of adoption, what Jehovah’s witnesses can and can’t expect from the earthly paradise, whether relationships continue in the after life and one of the best explanations of how privilege works that you will ever hear.
Plus there’s clarification on the robot sex dilemma and how it might be acceptable, the orifices of Jesus and the place of humour in dealing with that which is serious.
Check out Deborah’s brilliant radio show Deborah Frances-White Rolls the Dice.
Rich is giddy with fanboy excitement at having one of his childhood (and adulthood) comedy heroes in the off-white seat, it’s the loveliest person in the United Kingdom Dawn French.
They discuss what it is like to be in a double act where you actually like your partner, on stage vertigo, the Queen Mother’s teeth, whether it’s worse to lose a pet or be an orphan and a choice between getting students through their exams and international comedy fame.
Richard risks derailing everything by asking the Vicar of Dibley some very inappropriate questions, but she is more than equal to them. Witches and ghosts and west country and intergenerational rivalry feature but can Richard make Dawn cry or reveal her evil side? Only one way to find out.
You have us at an advantage this week, as you know who the next US President will be and we don’t. What terrible future are you in? Either way. But let’s forget about that and welcome the smiling man-mountain that is Tom Davis.
Suddenly he is appearing in everything, most notably the brilliantly fun Murder in Successville, but we’ll find out about how he made it and what he was doing before. Are Scaffolders really the craziest of all the tradesmen? Are footballers good at anything other than football? What if Paddington was 6ft 7 and from Croydon? How healthy is Romesh Ranaganathan’s poo? And how badly can you mess up a chance to play a Biblical figure in a movie?
There’s also another addition to the forthcoming volume, “Stories about meeting Brian Blessed”.
Weeks have passed for you in the Donald Trump President Elect alternate universe, but this was recorded less than a week after the result and Richard and the world are trying to process what he means. He makes a bold prediction that we can only hope has come to pass, before introducing the never efficiently researched Susan Calman.
There’s chat about the loneliness of touring, the terror of the new world order and what it might mean for minorities and whether we need more diversity on television. It gets pretty serious in places, but there’s lots of fun chat about filthy Miriam Gargoyles, having a drink with Cliff Richard, eskimo rolls, Princess Anne’s bun and whether it’s really necessary to apologise to everyone for absolutely every joke.
Rich meets some people who have never tried sushi before introducing Tourettes Superhero (though that’s a secret) Jess Thom.
It’s a battle to see who will say the most inappropriate thing, but for once Richard is given a run for his money as the pair discuss the facts about Tourettes, the positive effects in terms of creativity, the gatekeeper of the brain and what it’s like to be able to inadvertently create brilliant emergency questions.
Plus discussion of the new Leicester Square Theatre Stair Robot (which is a real thing, though in this conversation it is sometimes tricky to tell fact from fiction), why not-yet-disabled people are so idiotic and self-defeating when it comes to access and equal rights in general and who it is who needs to a magic drug to cure them. It’s a fascinating and hilarious chat with some of the best emergency question answers you are ever going to hear.
Rich has just had to stand impassive in a stranger’s guff for fear of looking like the one who smelt it and thus dealt it and it’s been a bad day all round, but everything should be OK as it’s round 5 of the verbal boxing match (that threatens to become a naked wrestling match) with Sarah Millican.
They chat about Daniel Craig’s bum, who invented the lifeboat, whether we only remember the times we were bullied and not the time we were the bullies, who is the bigger workaholic, whether they should both chuck in their marriages and give it a go together and the brilliant Standard Issue magazine and podcast - http://standardissuemagazine.com/.
Plus stuff about snoring and dirty hotel rooms and the usual fizzling sexual tension which has everyone asking will they or won’t they? And Sarah answering, “No they won’t” and Rich saying, “Oh go on.”
Richard quizzes his audience to find how little they have done with their lives, before introducing the comedian’s comedian and avant-garde comedy genius, Simon Munnery. In a frank interview Simon reveals the unwritten truth of Steve Coogan’s 1992 Edinburgh Fringe hospital visit, how Mark Lamarr did the bravest thing ever witnessed on stage, how Simon met his wife as a voice in the darkness during a gig that was spiralling out of control, setting up a restaurant that doesn’t serve food and what it was like to play Malcolm Hardee’s legendary Tunnel Club.
Richard is worried that he’s been experimented on by aliens and about whether a litigious Egghead will be coming for him. His guest this week is pocket dynamo, Lucy Porter.
They chat about their varying success on quiz shows, how Danny Dyer saved 2016, what it’s like being married to a Queen-loving giant and what it’s like performing in front of a room full of babies. Also how Kitchen Karaoke and Rich with his top off led to romance and how a sheep-shearer incensed turned a comedian into a heckler.
It’s the final episode of series 10 of RHLSTP and Rich meets a bearded man who has managed to find a partner (find out how he did it nerds). His guest is the laid-back and yet also intense (and rather beautiful) Peter Serafinowicz.
They talk about how it’s almost impossible to parody the new President of the United States, but the effective way that Peter managed it and his fears and plans should there be repercussions from the thin-skinned bellend.
Also lots of chats about the two Brian Bs (Blessed and Butterfield) and how a stellar cast does not always lead to a commission. Plus behind the scenes at Guardians of the Galaxy and Parks and Recreation and the Pudsey the Dog movie. Incredibly Adam Sandler’s “The Cobbler” and the strange ego of Mr Tumble come up without Richard even mentioning them.
