Goddamn, this movie has no right to be as boring as it is and also have a budget of 50 million dollars. There's a few nuggets of gold, some good and even great scenes here and there with combination of score and decent cinematography; but overall, I kept checking the time like every 10 minutes. Whenever I watch a movie, and I'm constantly waiting for the movie to just end, or I'm checking the time in boredom, the movie automatically gets a below average rating. The number one goal of any filmmaker should be to keep the audience interested. I was not interested throughout the majority of this. Nothing gripped me. There was no tension. The style just didn't lend itself to this kind of story. I don't know who looked at this final product and decided it would work in appealing to a mainstream audience. It's slothy with poor pacing, mediocre acting, half-decent music, amateurish camera work, and only a couple good scene set-ups. I can now say with full confidence I think Daisy Ridley is a bad actress...
I really don't know what else to say. Just don't bother with it. I'm going to go watch the original by Sidney Lumet now. Should be way more interesting and worthwhile. I need to get into the habit of just walking out of movies I don't like. I've never done it, but I need to start doing it.
Okay, here's a question to my followers. How do I rate a movie that's so shitty, it's enjoyable? Like, I had fun watching this, but I understood it's schlock. Once I get some comments, I'll lower or keep this score.
I never, ever thought I'd be here saying this, but I actually had a little fun watching Geostorm. Yeah, like, no shit. This was more fun than Independence Day: Resurgence and San Andreas, the last two big disaster movies to come out. I think what Dean Devlin understood over the last two attempts was to just have fun with the project. It's like he knew what he was doing was making shit, but said, "Fuck, just go all out with it." The disaster scenes are upped a few notches, they're crazy, loud, extreme, and laughably put together. This movie's all over the place for me. I'm not sure how to feel. Some parts of this movie are just straight-up bad, like not thought out well, yet some other parts I thought were competently done and nicely written, and other parts are so-bad-it's-funny. The movie's everywhere in terms of my enjoyment. I think there's actually some decent writing here and there, leagues above Independence Day: Resurgence, and other parts where the dialogue is laughably bad. I don't know if Devlin did this on purpose, but it's very interesting to say the least. The story is not original at all, it's borrowed heavily from previous disaster movies, even ones not produced by Roland Emmerich, but for some reason, I didn't mind most of the time. Maybe it was the character writing or order of sequences, but I didn't really get annoyed or frustrated with seeing the same plot again. There was some kind of flavor this time around I was actually getting into. It's not great writing, like I've said, but I didn't hate watching it. There's even a couple genuinely humorous moments, that actually landed, which shocked me. But more often than not, the movie serves as a shit fest that's fun. And I love that stuff. If you've followed me for some time, you know I enjoy shit that's fun. And that's what this is. It's popcorn entertainment and that's what Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin do best. Even Godzilla (1998) I didn't hate because it's enjoyable, though I know it's a crappy movie. There's been a couple movies like that this year, that I think are crappy movies, but fun, like The Great Wall and Kong: Skull Island. However, those have at least artistic merit to them, standing as solid movies, even if they're mindless popcorn flicks. We're at an age where it's really hard to rate movies, at least for me. How do you rate something of this nature? And what counts as so-bad-it's-fun and actually good? Kong: Skull Island I think is a well-enough written movie and competently directed movie that gets it well above shit-but-fun-tier, so that's not on the same level as Geostorm, even though both are just popcorn flicks. Geostorm is enjoyable because of it's shitty quality, so I think that's where we need to make the distinction here. This is getting really fucking confusing for me now, but I love this discussion. It just goes to show judging movies are not all about the rating, but the discussion. This is such a weird movie for me. I need to let it sit with me for a little longer, and I might update this post.
Oh boy, another movie I'm in the minority opinion of... or am I? I actually don't know this time, I think this movie has like a cult following or something. Which says a lot about this movie more than other horror remakes that are brought up. I've seen other people on here give excellent reviews explaining why this movie works more than what the common viewer gives it credit for, but I'll just share a couple random thoughts of mine.
This movie does not in any way tarnish the original movie or "ruin" what John Carpenter's movie created. I personally believe Rob Zombie took a run-of-the-mill slasher film, upped it a few notches, and tried to explore characters much further. I give Carpenter all the credit in the world for all he did for the horror genre; his music and movies completely revolutionized the medium, for better or worse. But what Zombie was able to bring was a little more humanity to the picture, yes, I'm actually saying that. The scene at the hospital where Michael Myers screams in his mother's face, like emotionally gutted me. Imagine your a mother, and you see this child, your son, that you've raised all your life to love and be a good kid, just murder someone right in front of you and scream in your face when you try to console them. Imagine the guilt and failure that goes on in her head. That whole sequence with the sirens going off and the slow-motion happening is one of the most brilliant scenes in a horror movie I've seen. Captivating and mesmerizing. Great work all around.
Zombie knew just all the right elements to make this unique, yet also play perfect homages to the original classic. I can understand this over-the-top white-trash style not working for some people, I agree with that, but it's hard to argue the amount of brilliance seen in this. It's one of the smartest horror remakes ever made. Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Lumis? Come on, that not perfect casting? I might post some more thoughts later after I watch the four hour documentary on this Blu-ray, but I wanted to get things out. I wasn't sure how I'd dig this, but I'm really leaning towards loving it. Rob Zombie did a commendable job paying tribute while expanding the universe. In fact, I believe Zombie enhanced the original and the character.
This movie gave me a revelation. About movie-making. Both in a good way and a bad way. On one side of the coin, you now have studios like Blumhouse and Rat-Pac making decent competent horror movies that will satisfy audiences, as opposed to the shit that was being churned out for the last few years. But on the other side of the coin, they're not doing anything super unique or original. You always have to have child actors, you have to have the priest, you have to have a demon, you have to have this old secluded house where people move in, and etc. It's not automatically bad or lazy to use these tropes, but only if they're done with a unique style. And the problem is, I've seen a TON of movies lately use these common ingredients. I liked Ouija: Origin of Evil, but again in that, there was a demon possession, a priest, and house with a dark history to it. I get that doing this is safe and people will go to see it, but I'm hoping directors like David F. Sandberg and other people working with Rat-Pac try to move away from these plot threads. I don't know how much longer I can stand studios think they can get away with using this story over and over. That goes for you too Blumhouse.
Sorry, that was something I had to write down, because I started thinking about it a little more towards the end of this movie. In general, I start to know how I'm going to rate a movie when I reach a certain point. And I knew then how I thought of this Annabelle: Creation. It's safe. It works, but it's safe, and I don't know if I like that or not. I'm a huge fan of older horror pieces and B-movie-esque grindhouse, and it's a little sad directors and executives aren't trying to push the envelope.
But with everything out of the way, this on it's own isn't bad. It's pretty good. The child actresses all do a great job with the script they're given and I believed I was watching actual children interact with one another, which is a problem sometimes with kids. Lulu Wilson, who already starred in Ouija: Origin of Evil, gives another solid performance, and I want to see what else she does with the horror genre, if she decides to keep acting in it. I would love to see a The Exorcist-eque movie with her getting possessed. I believe she could pull off a Linda Blair. But in this, she isn't the one who gets taken over by a demon, but still perseveres and gives us a great scared child acting job. Talitha Bateman, who acts opposite Wilson and the two of them are like bonded sisters, she especially delivers an exceptionally dreary and depressing performance. She's crippled with polio and spends most of the movie in a wheelchair or walking with a support. And what I liked about this facet, is that it wasn't a tacked-on sub-plot or sob story; her condition plays into some of the scares. In one scene, she uses the automatic moving chair thing on the staircase to get away from the demon that's coming closer to her. The chair makes it's way down, but stops and malfunctions half-way down. Then the chair starts to go back up, and the demon is waiting for her right at the top and there's nothing she can do about it. If she didn't have the condition, she could've just ran out of the house. But little touches like that can make for a richer story. It's also why the girls are surprised later when she can walk fine, because she's taken over. Another great scene was in the barn with one of the older girls, played by Grace Fulton, when the demon takes over a scarecrow and slowly unscrews the lightbulbs in fixtures to turn off the lights. I don't know why the demon would care about something trivial like light-fixtures, but I guess you could say because the demon is used to being shut-in the darkness, so whatever. It was a nice set-up.
And this re-telling leads me to one of the bigger pros and cons with the movie. Each of these scary sequences are great, well-done little pieces, but as a whole feature, doesn't really flow well. There isn't a lot of super big tension built up or a looming threat that lurks over the picture. In one scene, Wilson is terrified beyond belief as the doll and the demon have made their way into her room and the bed underneath her bunk-bed. But then, the scene ends, she falls asleep, and it's the next day. Next we see her, she's happily playing with the other girls. Are we not going to talk about what just happened there? And that's my only big problem with this. David F. Sandberg started out doing short horror movies and that seems to be his expertise. These are great little scenes, but don't complement one another always in the larger scope of it all. However, the movie does get really good towards the end, when the demon goes all out on the girls. It was nice to see something quite grand and on an ambitious scale. A lot of times with these movies, the finale is just a small group of people trying to get out of a house and there's a couple jumpscares there and here. But Sandberg decides to throw in everything he can. The demon teleports all over the place and gets at the different separated groups of kids. Scarecrow in the barn? Check. Creepy adventures in the basement? Check. Car won't start? Check. Hiding in the doll room? Check. I know all that sounds very cliche, but it's done rather unique, as it's not the same person who experiences all of it.
But I think I've rambled on long enough. It's a little funny seeing how these origin prequel horror movies end up being better than the originals they're based off of. Now people are going to go watch the first Annabelle and remember just how fucking terrible it is. But I am a little worried about the state of horror movies. I liked this, it was good, I had fun watching it, but I want to see more come out of this genre. I don't really want to see the same plot threads being copied over and over. If you just want to see a fun horror movie to share with friends or family, you'll definitely get a kick out of this, I recommend it. However, as massive fan of this genre, I want more.
Shit, this is better than Blumhouse's Truth Or Dare. At least it shows some blood.
As a sequel to Final Destination 3, and even just a separate horror film, it's a ridiculous cheap disaster... however, if you take it as a comedy, this is a blast. Must watch, for sure, I put this shit on in the background doing work, one of those kind of movies. Every scene in this offers hilarious laughs, start to finish. The priceless NASCAR race sequence, topped with cars and debris just flying straight into the stadium's audience... and no other direction, those people are walking targets.. The punch lines spoken right before an impending death, the musical cues, and the outrageous antics that keep upping the last. Why the hell does a mall explode when there's no explosives anywhere to be found? What's with the EXTREMELY mouse trap death set ups needed in order for our terrible protagonists to be killed in? Why does someone start bleeding at the mouth because their foot is cut off? Why is there a bunch of explosives behind a movie theater screen? Why does a fence have sharp enough blades to cut through a guy's stomach? This movie rocks. It's some good garbage, and I think they knew what they were doing when making this. It's a trashy 'ol good time. The deleted alternate ending is pure fucking gold insanity.
Holy fucking shit, I was not expecting that godforsaken ending. What a way to fuck up someone's day.
The movie itself is just above average, offering some good tension-filled moments and impressive special effects, but nothing too groundbreaking. The characters aren't given any special personalities and their backstories are given all through blatant exposition. No creativity in the character building, for this one. The alien design I found to be quite cool, as it evolved over time and consumed smaller animals and eventually humans. Going into this, I don't know why, but I was surprised by the amount of gore and violence, which I dug. I didn't realize it was a rated R film and a full-on shock horror piece, and while there is tension here and there, it's in pieces, which is a problem. There's no hanging tension in the air through the whole movie. Why are there momentary breaks where the humans are content and calmly just sitting around while a fucking alien is on the loose in the ship. Now some might say they did this in the original Alien from Ridley Scott, but that was a much larger ship and the alien was human sized. This bat-type alien is on a very small NASA research ship and could be just a couple feet away. But whatever, besides the problems the movie has, I did have fun watching it and I did get tense during quite a few parts, so props for that.
But that damn ending, I love it. I called it just a minute or two before it happened. Glad the writers took the fucking risk and made a memorable ending that sticks with you. We need more endings like this.
This is one of the greatest films ever created, the one that made me a hardcore Charlton Heston fan. I know, the runtime can be a turn-away for casual viewers, but I don't view this as a movie. I've now seen The Ten Commandments twice in the theater and it's an experience. Through this four hour epic, we're introduced to the location of Egypt and every character imaginable, as they're woven into the story re-telling of the Book of Exodus. It's a tightly constructed, but vast world-building film that makes the audience feel like they're there with the slaves and Moses, as the days and months pass in the film's length. The special effects and green-screen composites are cheese and outdated by modern technology, but hold an old-time charm to them, a quality lost in new remakes, like Exodus: Gods and Kings. Cecil B. DeMille doesn't just slap together a shitty historical movie to make money like with shit such as Gods of Egypt, but pays respect and with great care, creates one of the best epics of all time. It's hard to explain everything in such a short review, so I won't bother but just tell you to watch this if you haven't. It's a must. Make some snacks and some drinks and sit down and watch this. It's well-worth your time and you won't regret experiencing the whole thing. Ideally, I'd say see it in a theater with an actual intermission, but that's hard to do, waiting for a re-release and all.
'Seven Psychopaths' is what I consider the perfect black comedy, or movie that's a drama with sprinkles of humor scattered throughout. I find all the jokes to be timed perfectly and placed just the right moments, but I find myself even more invested and caring for the more serious parts of the writing, which parts surprised me when I saw them come up, as I didn't get that impression I got when viewing the trailer. Martin McDonough perfectly balances poignant commentary about different kinds of psychotic individuals, while delivering crowd pleasing and hilarious set pieces and dialogue. It's truly one of the smarter written movies I've seen in the past few years, more than other acclaimed pieces. I found myself engaged the entire time, not once checking the time on my phone. The story moves along at just a frantic enough paces and showing off twists in the characters to keep the viewer interested, Billy being the absolute craziest and most lovable one of the bunch. I love that the Schi Tzu becomes his dog at the end. Wonderful little closure to the character.
Fantastic movie. I'm surprised it took me this long to see it. Just never came onto my radar, I suppose. Also wow, it's been 10 days since I've seen a movie, that's unusual for me.
Um... what? I don't even know what I just watched, but I really liked it. That's the best way to describe this movie. It's so crazy, so filled to the brim, so over-the-top, and nonsensical, I just had to turn the analysis part of my brain off and accept the movie for what it is: A poorly written, but well-polished, incredibly directed, badass song tuning, and crazy action grindhouse B-movie. That's what it is. This could easily have been released as a 70's grindhouse feature, and everyone would fucking love it. The action scenes in this movie are some of the craziest set pieces I have ever seen. You've got these talented women in skin showing skirt outfits, wielding modern tactical rifles and pistols, going around shooting robots in a World War 1 trench. Yes, you just read that right. Want to go even crazier? Okay, how about flying a modern tactical helicopter over a medieval castle while firing guns at a dragon? Not enough for you? Okay, how about battling in the snow, fighting giant robot samurais wielding miniguns? This movie is so fucking crazy and stupid, that I can't help but like it for some reason. I think that's why most audience members and critics don't like it. This movie is the prime-example of "Hey guys, I decided to make a super fucking crazy ass movie, don't take it seriously, okay?" This movie is what happens when Zack Snyder takes some cocaine and is allowed to do whatever the hell he wants. I don't know why but I like it, a lot.
Going to see Alien: Covenant right after this, I will have a review up hopefully soon.
I love the atmosphere in this movie. I'm a really huge fan of slow-burn silent kind-of creepy horror films that really souly on building suspense and building the world, rather than resorting to action or jumpscares. I think this is why I prefer Alien to Aliens, and The Terminator to Terminator 2. True horror movies, to me based on what I find scary, is relatable or likable characters being put in genuinely terrifying or claustrophobic situations.
What makes Alien effective is the location. Imagine yourself in Ellen Ripley's situation. Alone on an abandoned ship about to blow up, in very narrow corridors with no one else around, while an unstoppable killing machine is out to get you. That idea alone makes the movie, but the way Ridley Scott executes it, through the sound effects, lack of music, and pacing makes it one of the most tension-filled finales I've seen in a horror movie.
The rest of the movie is great too. There isn't much that happens in terms of story, but you grow attached to these characters as they get picked off one by one. You're constantly on the edge of you're seat anticipating what's going to come next. It's a constant up-hill battle as these group of characters try to figure out how they're going to defeat the alien life-form that's now loose on the ship. Sigourney Weaver, John Hurt, and Tom Skerritt are my favorites out of the cast of exceptional actors. They all do a good job with the material given to them, especially considering how dialogue-heavy the movie ends up being.
There isn't much else I can say, other than it's one of the best horror movies in history, with it's wonderful atmosphere and great setting, which many of follow-up movies tried to copy, but most end up failing to capture.
I'm so glad I heard about it and had the pleasure of watching it. I haven't seen a movie break my heart that good in a long time. It's not usual for me to get actual tears going down my face.
'Train to Busan' is an incredibly rare horror movie that puts actual emotional investment into the characters, what I mean is, you actually care about who's going to live or die. This isn't a world-building movie, but one that devotes it's entire run-time to building an emotional attachment between the audience and the main cast. Not many modern Hollywood blockbusters and horror flicks do this motion, as they figure most people are just simply there for the thrills and the cheap jumpscares. 'Train to Busan' reminds me something. It reminds me how absolutely important it is to have characters you want to root for. The fact I actually cried for the main characters in this movie automatically puts it well above other horror and zombie movies that don't bother with this essential character development.
I loved it. I truly loved it. It's easily one of my new favorite zombie movies of all time, maybe even one of my new favorite dramas of all time. Watch it. It deserves your time and especially money.
Literally the greatest film I have ever seen. Marvel can just go the fuck home. They've got nothing on this academy award winning masterpiece. 'Batman v Superman' is going to end up in a hospital after witnessing this absolute blessing onto the world, not like my ex-wife who I thought was a blessing to me...
I thought 'Jaws' and 'King Kong' were my favorite movies of all time, but pfffff, bruh. This is the real classic. Those other two are fucking trash in comparison.
I can't even tell what I was watching, I remember hearing dialogue and a lot of pop songs, but fuck you. I remember listening to 'Paranoid' as I argued with my ex-wife. This movie is funny because I said so. Jared Leto as the joker was a brilliant choice. Who was that fucker, Heath Ledger? No one cares about him, Jared is the REAL choice pick for the joker. All 5 minutes of his screentime made me orgasm, his Hot Topic portrayal would totally appeal to mainstream critics.
Actually, all the characters would appeal to critics. Will Smith totally sells this movie and Jai Courtney is the greatest actor of all time. I used to love Marlon Brando and Robert Shaw, but those two fuckwads don't stand a chance in an audition against Jai Courtney. I loved it when Courtney terribly read dialogue off a prompter with no emotion. Best Actor Award winner right here, folks! I bet my ex-wife would win Best Actress.
I love how cringeworthy every line of dialogue is. This is supposed to be a group of funny characters in the style of 'Guardians of the Galaxy' but this movie actually works. Not like my ex-wife. Batman makes a small appearance here and there, which makes me can't wait to shill hard for the new Batman solo production. I can't wait to see the high score on Rottentomatoes for it. I heard Ben Affleck had to go to rehabilitation for alcohol addiction. Why go to rehab for alcohol addiction? I love beer and I don't have an addiction...
The rest of the characters I don't even know they're names, but they all said some funny dialogue, so that makes them well-developed and likable characters. Harley Quin was super hot, I loved the way her body looked in that outfit, like how my ex-wife's body looks in the bathtub. Crocodile head made me laugh a lot and Boomerang, AKA Jai Courtney, has the most useful super power on the planet. I never realized all you needed to be a super hero was having a boomerang as a weapon.
A true cinematic masterpiece. 'Casablanca' and 'Star Wars' have nothing on this true work of modern art. I wish I could talk more about, but the cops just showed up to the front door, so I gotta go. See y'all later!
Happy April Fools' Day!
"You hear that? That sounds like a bird, but it's not, it's a fucking ant."
I can't get enough of this film.
I love every thing about it. Jordan Vogt-Roberts more than pleasantly surprised me. I will not doubt him in the future.
The set-up, the story, the characters, the set pieces, the direction, the soundtrack, visuals, the colors, the action, just, everything. I don't understand how someone could not love this.
Even though the original 1933 King Kong is still the best film to date, Kong: Skull Island comes close to matching it's brilliance. Many people have to remember that while the 1933 classic was undeniably groundbreaking for it's time and carries a more subdued and personal story of beauty and the beast, the core story of the film is very much basic.
Here's a rundown:
A group of people are brought together for a mission to go to an uncharted island in the south pacific, dubbed Skull Island. They don't know what's there, but decide to head there to finally unravel the mystery behind one of the last unexplored places on Earth. Once they arrive, things go to hell. They meet natives, all sorts of creatures that want to eat them alive, and they encounter a giant destructive ape. The surviving explorers have to survive the horrors of the island and make it off alive in one piece.
Did I just describe King Kong (1933) or Kong: Skull Island (2016)? Eh, they sound similar? Both have different characters, subplots, and completely different tones, but metabolically is the same.
John Goodman is great in any role he's in. His best scene is his monologue towards Sam Jackson's character, Packard. Tom Hiddleston plays a standard mercenary, named James Conrad. He's a badass bar-fighting navigator who's paid to join Monarch's escort mission. Just same the as Goodman, he's great at delivering memorable lines. He reminds me a lot of Indiana Jones. But the emotional core of the film comes from John C. Reilly's character, Marlow. He lands on Skull Island back in World War 2 and is stranded there for over 20 years with a fellow enemy from the war. After the uniforms come off, they practically become brothers. He makes for a good comic relief, but soon takes over the story, as he reveals he has a wife and possible son that he's never met. He's the one you really root for, hoping he makes it off the island alive. I was surprised how deep Packard got as far as a character. He becomes a more tragic villain towards the end, as he slowly grows more and more obsessed with taking down Kong. After witnessing the giant ape take down all of his men, he kind of snaps. He couldn't handle another defeat after Vietnam, or has he says it, "We abandoned the war," and so his sanity was barely hanging on. Very pleasant surprise and Jackson does a great job as always. My favorite line of his is, "Bitch, please!" that he snaps at Brie Larson. Pretty epic shit.
Of course, Kong is just as amazing as ever. They perfected him this time around, the special effects are as good as you can get, on-par with the amazing Peter Jackson version. Before I went into the film, I was worried Kong was just going to become a standard giant monster that you wouldn't be able to relate to or get emotional with, but I was proven dead wrong. When I look at this ape, I see the same Kong I love and grew up with in the 1933 and 2005 versions; he's just a lot bigger here.
Jordon Vogt-Roberts absolutely nails the style of this film. I suppose a lot of the credit could be given to his cinematographer, who also does all the work for Zack Snyder, on films like 300 and Watchmen. But the slow-motion shots of the helicopter blades rotating, sunrise backdrops with Kong in the foreground, and Hideaki Anno style shots are littered all throughout... and it is just glorious. This is one of the most gorgeous films I've ever watched in a theater. The colors just pop out in every shot; every shot is just teaming with detail and beauty. I can't get enough of it. The slow-motion sequence with Tom Hiddleston in the green smoke, the blue and red color contrast in the bar scene, the sunset backdrop with the helicopters flying, the IMAX camera shots of Vietnam mountains, and the final monster battle are all wonderful. I can't list them all, because the entire film is just beautiful. Absolute perfection on a technical level here.
As I said in my previous review, This is the movie Jurassic World wanted to be. It's an epic, funny, loud, explosive, and visually incredible film giving us tons of great character moments and monster action. I absolutely love this.
OLD REVIEW:
The second best Godzilla film ever made, right behind the 1954 original. That's quite an accomplishment, but it's Hideaki Anno, so I mean, what did you expect?
Right now, the film is nominated for an astonishing 11 Japan Academy Prizes. It really is one of the most beautiful films I've seen. It's easily my personal favorite film of 2016, just barely ahead of La La Land.
Anno's signature editing and block direction is all throughout this film. His set-up of shots, for example, with electrical poles and train cars framed horizontally, are just so gorgeous, but there are just too many gorgeous ones to list. Godzilla standing in front of a wall of fire, Godzilla blowing non-stop flames out of his mouth while the city around him just collapses, and the final shot with the humanoid creatures coming out of Godzilla's tail gave me nightmares.
But most importantly, I'd like to mention that the reason I rated so high is that it's not a typical monster film. This is an attack on Japan's government and U.S relations. There are plenty of hysterical scenes in this where the Prime Minister and the rest of the senators have to take literally 5 minutes in board room meetings to approve to start firing at the monster. That, and the requirement later on in asking the U.S military for assistance in taking down the monster.
There's also a lot of allusions to the 3/11 earthquake and tsunami disasters in Japan. The original 1954 was based off the 1945 atomic bomb droppings on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. So now, this film has it's own disaster it's based on. Some shots in the movie are exact references to found footage of the tsunami disaster, and Godzilla himself starts out the movie flooding the canals in Tokyo Bay.
Overall, this film is incredible. It's better than the 2014, but in itself, it's a masterpiece. The music by Shiro Sagisu is like a voice from the heavens, and a plea for forgiveness from God. The song "Who Will Know" is actually told from the perspective of Godzilla, telling us he's not just a monster rampaging Japan, but he's a messenger. He's the voice of all the people killed by the incompetence of the Japanese government, and he's here to let them know that.
I am now giving this film an 8 because of the workprint version. For those that aren't aware, recently, the original version of the film from 2000 was leaked online by a couple documentary filmmakers, creating drama in the community as a result, but finally giving out the long awaited, Allcroft version of the film, at least as of the second edit during the post-production process. I watched a fan edited, new audio mixed version of the cut available on some private torrent sites, and honestly, it fixes the movie. All the issues people have with plot holes, logic gaps, childish humor, conflicting tones, unmotivated villains, and confusing characters, are all completely fixed. The film's story is re-ordered, over 20 minutes of footage is reinstated, thus creating a more cohesive, interesting dramatic narrative that centers around all the human characters, and not just oddly Mr. Conductor and Diesel 10. Grandpa Burnett is fleshed out much more, P.T. Boomer is all back in the picture, fixing the villain problem, Lily has a little more to do, and the chemistry all around benefits from the shared conflict of stopping Boomer from destroying the island. The tone is much more mature, but still kid friendly. After seeing this, there's no reason this shouldn't have been released. Little kids would've been bored for sure, but older children and adults would've loved it. It just feels weird being able to write these words after all these years, waiting for something to come out about this production, and now it's here. If you can find a copy, I highly recommend it. You all will love it.
Shockingly awful. There was no reason for this to be as bad as it was. This is another one of those films, like The Banana Splits Movie that uses one of the unused/scrapped scripts thrown out by Scott Cawthon as he works on his Five Nights At Freddy's movie. Studios see some potential in the scripts and just change around the aesthetic to adapt it. Nicolas Cage has a producing credit on this and I don't know why. What a shithead move to not have him speak the entire movie. If they were going for a Man With No Name approach, he should have a couple lines, really killer ones. The idea he says nothing is a comically ridiculous waste. There's no reason for him to be there then. Go Doomslayer if you want the silent killer. Give him a scarf over his mug and cowboy hat, it would complete his look, and then Cage wouldn't require a big check. None of the characters are memorable, recognizable, have any attachment to the story, or warrant the screen time they're given. Characters don't play to any specific strengths or weaknesses. Their names are spoken one or two times, none of them add to the world building or have connections to this restaurant. Any characters that have a chance of redemption are killed on the spot without a second glance, making their place in the script meaningless. Even the sympathetic sheriff groomed by the head sheriff doesn't get his moment to shine, he's unceremoniously killed in a lame, unrealistic situation where somehow an animatronic stowed away in the cop car. The levels of turning your brain off you have to do to even tolerate what's going on are to many to permit. Only one, named Liv, cares about doing the right thing. Neat. She cares about this old, creepy birthday palace why? I don't know. The lore is taken right from FNAF's pages, people possess animatronics to cause havoc, only here, it's serial killers. For what purpose? I have no clue. They only get fed every time the town's folks tricks a passerby to become a night janitor. How often does that happen? It's all just thrown in to one horrible exposition dump as Cage stands there with the same expression he has the whole movie. There's even a second exposition free for all that repeats all the points from the first one, only from the perspective of the townsfolk, and it comes right in the middle of an interesting scene between one of the kids and a suit. When we cut back, the kid is immediately killed. Why does the dude drink that brand of soda and on every break conveniently timed and looped throughout the picture? The only way this story would've been enjoyable is if it was an actual video game, Duke Nukem style. This is the cinematic equivalent of watching someone play Doom, but you don't get to experience the gameplay yourself, it's terrible. It's not even good exploitation. The blood effects are below the grade of a YouTube video, very obvious Kool-Aid mixtures for blood effects that come out of people's mouths. An excuse for violence is a staple of exploitation flicks for sure, but come on, we're far above the lowest tier trash that comes out of the genre. Most others in the medium are far better than this. To call this a slasher movie is insulting to other gore fests. Every scene is a loop. Janitor guy beats the shit out of a suit, he cleans up, takes his break with a soda, stares at the creepy guys on stage, and loop. This happens six times in the runtime; abysmal. It's a joke in itself, shots repeat like the tossing of a soda can in the garbage, like this shit thinks it's clever. If you want that, have some progression. Maybe that pinball game he cleans up, he gets better at and scores a higher score after each time he defeats a suit. No thought put in to anything, no themes. That ties in to the editing. You're not Edgar Wright. Quick cuts and neon lighting is overused now, you aren't interesting and it doesn't even fit the aesthetic of the time or location. Some of the reaction shots are laughable; like Cage will be punching the shit out of a dude, the camera is all wobbling and up close to be intense, then it cuts to a wide static shot of Liv standing there with a dumbfounded reaction on her face, which completely breaks the engagement of the fight, and then it cuts back to that shaking extreme close up of Cage fighting. It's distractedly awkward. The care to environments and visual effects are of a student film. Balloon lights, lighting equipment, and other junk can be seen in a few shots. The camera work is either over produced or television sitcom, most of the time switching in between shots. The setting of Willy's is small and pathetic, like a little store they rented out for the film. One ballpit, a side room for a birthday table, a kitchen where one pinball machine is located, and a very tiny arcade. As for the animatronics, you have to make me believe these were intended to be cute and friendly. The Banana Splits Movie understood this, considering they used actual Hanna Barbera characters so that was their original purpose, but these monstrosities are freaky even in the upbeat commercial. At least try to be subtle with your costume design, or have it so they flick a switch and change appearance to something demonic. It could tie in to the story's core element of Satanism being at the heart of this dandy play place. About the only satisfying scenes are Cage's final music video dancing to the pinball machine and the head sheriff's death by Willy. The score is also decent. Two points for this dreck.
Imagine thinking some retarded trashfire like Black Widow is better than this. MCU drones and journalists have it out for their Feige golden goose. Finally a return to 2000's comic book movies that just try to be simple, origin stories, reminiscent of Ang Lee's masterpiece, Hulk. Flashy cinematography by Oliver Wood, a decent script focusing on familial rivalry/not overly bogged down by anything else, and fun performances bolstered by an impressively low 75 million budget for the effects. It follows the comics decently enough, and Michael looks like his print counterpart towards the end. Surprisingly violent with blood effects for a number of the kills, of course edited slightly for PG-13, but it's better than Venom (2018)'s cold feet censorship. The flight sequences and POV work for the bevy of action set pieces are enthralling and a ride. Everything is nicely lit with dark shadows and backlighting, echoing some horror movies of the period this film is clearly inspired by, like The Grudge 2. Matt Smith finally gets his time to shine, after some previous films didn't work out, as a desperate lawyer looking for an ailment to what he thinks is a curse, being in a crippled body and made fun of by others. You get a good conflict from Morbius and Milo as they don't see eye-to-eye on this being a cure for both their misfortunes. None of this convoluted bullshit like you see in Disney's cinematic gangbang. Glad that Spider-Man was retconned out of that Homecoming trilogy. Speaking of which, Michael Keaton makes a return as Vulture, after having his memory of Peter Parker wiped by the events of No Way Home, is out for Spider-Man again, in a mid-credits scene. It will be fun to see what comes of the Sinister Six. If you want more vampire ALA Dracula Untold or Afflicted, you will be satisfied.
Tim Miller, your career is over.
Cameron, you have created your own Alien: Covenant. Now, I have an interesting relationship with this film, before it was even announced. I liked Genisys quite a lot. I've liked all of the sequels past Terminator 2, especially the action heavy and emotional Terminator 3 that takes up the responsibility of carrying the development of it's lead, John Connor, and expanding on that. John in that film has brought the trials and understandings from the Terminator's sacrifice at the end and understands that a Terminator can grasp the concept of the value of human life. That part of him is still there, which is why he can accept another T-850 has come back to protect him and he doesn't stay prejudiced to it the entire film. The new challenge has to take up is his responsibility as the leader of the future resistance. He's run away and he's living off the grid, but over the course of the film, leading up to the brilliant ending, has accepted that he must come forth and take the mantel of leading humanity to ultimate victory. That is what his mother taught him, which is why I could accept her being killed off screen, because her development had been completed in the second film, John had a new burden to overcome, it was his journey by that point.
So tell me why this is acceptable. Why has it become accepted in our society that we can just throw a number of films, all with different creative leads, teams, and producers, under the bus and say they were all terrible, and this new version being created is the true sequel to what are supposedly universally accepted films, determined somehow. This botched move is what killed the 2018 Halloween reboot, which for some reason felt the urge to make the original sequel and Season of the Witch no longer canon, which makes no sense and it's a slap in the face to the original lore, just cause some redditors thought it was "a little silly" Michael and Laurie are siblings, even though Michael had a sister in the opening scene. There was no reason to remove the second from existence and it's put the franchise in a creative dead end, resulting in many logic gaps and ridiculous connections. You begin to realize this is all a tactic, this is the new remake craze like what was going on in the 2000's. Instead of just remaking the classics to varying degrees of quality, the new explosion of bait and switch is making a "correct" version of the original, i.e. in sequel form or reboot. This has happened with Star Wars, Digimon Tri, Scooby-Doo, Ghostbusters, Voltron, and so many more. It's become a franchise wasteland out there, with every company ready to kill off whatever it was you loved in your childhood. It's ripe for picking.
Dark Fate decides to forgo any profit from the Chinese market and any fans that may have been forged out of the 440 million profits of Genisys and ops to wipe the slate clean again, for some reason. Think about it, five was all about multiverse hopping and time travel, different timelines interconnecting, it actually explains away some time paradoxes created from previous films, because now anything can happen. Other characters can exist in new timelines and kill blood related family and suffer no consequences. Anything is possible with what Genisys introduced, but no, it's better to kill the potential golden goose. I was even cool with John Connor becoming a villain in his respective timeline, because a) it throws the development back on to Sarah and Kyle struggling with the idea of their child, originally prophesied to be the savior of humanity, now villain, and b) a good John Connor could still exist in another timeline. The floodgates of crossovers and mayhem were opened.
But, 'kay, fine, let's throw all that talk out the window. Cameron is back, Tim Miller is on board (yay?), David S. Goyer is writing, we're just getting rid of everything creative that was done before and going back to "basics." What does that entail. How is the brilliant writer's room going to top all out of the outings that it has to top, and prove that it's worthy enough of saying it is better than all of them, and it's the true version that should be canon? I know! Kill John Connor four minutes in to the movie. You think I'm joking. Let's have a T-800 walk up to child Johnny, who's a digitally recreated young Edward Furlong, and shoot him in the chest with a shotgun. Brilliant, oh, you guys outdid yourselves. The "mythos" of Terminator are important to them, this is the real Terminator 3 everyone. That's why Terminator 1 and 2's importance and story no longer matter since all the effort of saving Sarah, and then following up the born child, just results in the kid being shot in the chest in under a minute. Hey Cameron, what was that you said about Alien 3? That it was dumb and maybe a little disrespectful to kill your characters, Newt and Hicks unceremoniously? Aren't you being a little hypocritical constantly trashing on that film, yet you just wrote and produced the love child to it? Like, do I even need to continue the review? You've shot yourselves in the foot not even a few minutes in to the film. Sarah I can believe killing off, John was the product of those two films, he is who needs to survive, that was the entire message of Terminator 3, the T-850 sacrificed himself and lied to save John and Kate's lives. He is the backbone of the series, outside of Sarah Connor.
But, 'kay, fine, let's throw John in a lava pit. He doesn't matter. Where do we go from here? Answer is you don't. You know the trend. We have to regress every character's development from the previous entry so we can essentially remake the film with the same script and lesson. Worked so well for Incredibles 2, amiright? Sarah is now back to being a paranoid Terminator expert who doesn't trust a T-800 look-alike because they killed a significant other of hers. In T2 it was Kyle Reese, in this one it's John Connor. What a load of shit. Way to show massive disrespect to the films you claim to be honoring. May I remind you this isn't even really Sarah's film. We haven't even gotten to the new bland leads they've had to scrounge up because there's nothing to go off. So now that Skynet doesn't even exist anymore and John is just dead, we can now just remake the original The Terminator with a new super evil robotic massive conglomerate in the form of something called "Legion," with direct rip-offs of scenes from 3, Salvation, and Genisys, films they claim to hate, but will still copy from. Real class act. This future soldier named Grace is sent back to protect a new leader of the resistance, Dani, a total (wo)manlet that does not look like a feasible leader of the resistance. No disrespect to Natalia Reyes, she seems like a nice actress, but she is horribly miscast. If they had switched around the leads, Davis as the leader and Reyes as the protector, I'd believe it more. But okay, Reyes lives in Mexico and works in a car factory (social commentary), lots of Spanish language is used in the film, an overwhelming amount, and her Papi is taken over by the new Rev-9 terminator in an attempt to kill her at the factory. A Terminator 3 and Genisys ripoff chase ensues and we end up meeting a beaten down Sarah. From there, we just go through the motions of exposition, who are you, who am I, what are we doing, taking cues from some The Terminator deleted scenes, and flashforward glimpses of the surprisingly bland looking Salvation copying future war. That's a thing I really have to deduct points from this movie significantly. Tim Miller, I don't know what happened in your three years from Deadpool but the action in this movie is shockingly bland and boring. How can you make a truck chase that exceedingly tiresome, a finale at the Hoover Dam that anti-climactic and kind of laughable. The CG effects have downgraded so much, it would be Stan Winston to shame, the poor man. Compare the effects in this film to Terminator 3, and it's just evident as an audience, we have accepted lower standards as a thing. We are okay with shiny, video game tier special effects. Especially during the D-Day Saving Private Ryan inspired future war scenes, the Terminators are hideously over shiny. The liquid T-1000 effects in Terminator 2 still look better today, I don't believe for a second this film cost 180 million legitimately, a lot of that was probably forfeited to Linda Hamilton and Arnold, both of whom are on record hating this franchise and wishing it would end.
But okay, we find ourselves in nap inducing action, bland rushed characters, retreaded existing characters, and then we delve in to border hopping. Not making that up either. Sarah is banned in all fifty states for what she's done in the previous films, but since this takes place in Mexico, we can have social commentary about the leads sneaking across the border and getting caught by Border Patrol, and subsequently being held up in psuedo-ICE camps. I'm not even making that up, that's a crux of the film, the Rev-9 joins the Border Patrol (like the T-1000 taking the mantle of a police officer) and hunts them down in an ICE camp. There's even a back in forth with Grace and a patrol officer. "Where are the prisoners?" "They're called detainees." This is where we're at with propaganda. It's okay to illegally border hop because the protagonists of the film are supposedly good people. That's how they're trying to shove this nonsense on to you. It's not even subtle or clever. How can you get the blatant with the reality bending. From there, they hijack a helicopter (Genisys reference) and some more hijinks ensure. They do meet up with the T-800 from the opening scene of the film that killed Johnny. There's some faux deep themes like, can a Terminator understand human life, can it evolve in to a normal functioning person after completing it's mission, all of which were explored in 2 and Genisys better, and then we get in to the final climactic Furious 7 and Rampage rip offed plane finale and Dam showdown. From there, Grace sacrifices herself to save Dani, i.e. Kyle Reese, and the T-800 kills the Rev-9 while saying "For John," which is a bullshit final attempt to show they care about Johnny, which the film doesn't. Then the movie just ends. It just ends, there's nothing more to it. They don't defeat Legion, there's a little scene with a speech Dani gives in the future war, which was done better by John in the opening of Genisys and actually plays off with the role reversal later in the film, this is just a B-grade schlock speech about rising up and shit. Nothing interesting. There's no mid-credits scene, nothing. It just ends. This movie is pointless. There is no point to this movie. Why does it exist? Answer me that. Terminator 3 was about Judgement Day finally coming to fruition and John accepting his fate at a future leader, Genisys was about stopping a new Skynet while Kyle comes to terms with the fact his friend and hero John is now an enemy that must be destroyed. Grace and Dani have no charisma. There is nothing to either of them. Sarah regresses as a character, and Arnold is there to just please the fans. All the while the film just rips off the films it hates.
I would say the only positive of the film, not even much so, is some of Junkie XL's score, he can always put together something halfway decent, but anything else, the cinematography and color grading especially are awful. Nothing pops out of the screen, the lighting is horrible, very bad contrasting, silhouettes, no impressive shots to speak of. This is some of the most amateurish direction I've ever seen in a major studio film, only rivaling Joss Whedon's Age Of Ultron
Cameron, you are on my shit list now. I defended you with Avatar and the recently produced Alita: Battle Angel, my favorite film probably of all time, but this, this is gross. This is another in an evergrowing list of franchises that have been shameless ripped apart and put on display in a freak museum. How much longer do we have to endure this before people say to stop. Don't go see this movie, go watch the other sequels. Terminator 3 needs to be vindicated, it needs to get the respect it's been wrongly taken away from.
I know I'm going to be in the minority when I say this, but let the Monsterverse end here. I don't mean that in the way that, I hate these movies. Exact opposite, King Of The Monsters is my second favorite film of 2019. But given the history of cinematic universes (MCU), the Toho Godzilla series, and the current situation of the Monsterverse, I would rather see this little series end as a trilogy of sorts, discounting Kong Skull Island, and let it stay a self contained epic that completes all it's arcs over the three Godzilla films it currently has. I wouldn't want them to (((drudge))) this out, change it up to be more mass appealing, and lose the spark the series currently has. Legendary currently has the option to keep making Godzilla films as long as they want so long as they renew the license, Toho would let them. But given the financial returns, I don't think that'll happen. They're going to release this early in China, get some money back on their investment, and release it for the fans that still like this stuff. Neutering it down is the last thing I'd want and I'd rather it end now. I know you all would disagree, but end it on this "high note."
EDIT: Fuck, this didn't age well at all.
"You have a chance other people only ever dream of. You can say good bye."
You know that saying that people always use that, "It hits you right in the feels," but some overuse it? I rarely ever feel it. But fuck, oh fuck me, I need to come here and say that Happy Death Day 2U did something I was not expecting at all. This is not a straight horror film, barely. This is a science fiction action mystery romantic comedy. Horror hardly fits the description, and that's what makes this so amazing. I feel bad I skipped this one out and saw Alita so many times, this came out the same weekend. Jason Blum, if you ever read this, know I'm sorry and I hope you continue to fund even more films like this. I know the general public flat out refuses original and poignant screenplays like this today, especially when this properly subverts expectations, but keep doing it. Give money to it. This got so much more complex and deep than I ever imagined a film like this could get. If you're going in to this expecting a romping slash-em-up and nothing more, you're going to leave more than empty handed. It's the equivalent of asking for fun bedtime story from your grandmother and she starts talking to you about the death of her husband. The overwhelming majority of the run time is the dilemma Tree must face between choosing to live in a timeline where her mother is alive, or where she's with her boyfriend Carter. The implications that because of this unforeseen consequence of this science experiment, she's actually given a choice to live a life that isn't hers, and if she doesn't, gets to do what others can't, and make peace directly with a lost loved one. The heavy hitting notes and the scenes where Tree breaks down to her mother, asking her what decision she must make, I could just imagine audiences checking out. There's this gut wrenching scene where she's choosing to sit down and spill it all out to her mother how much she loves her because she know it's the last time she'll see her, and just damn, it's intense. The rest when it isn't covering this raw family plot, is a literally by the numbers science fiction piece, in that it actually gets in to the technicals. They sit down multiple times to explain the way the universe has multiple dimensions and how she crossed paths with herself from her original dimension, etc. This makes Spider-Verse look like a second grade picture book. I was not expecting Landon to double down on what created the time loop in the first place, but it's surprisingly magnificent and doesn't tarnish the first in any way. In fact, it enhances itself above the original. I have more reason to care about this universe and these characters because of this follow up. It's given me more reason to care than I did before, by giving everyone more motivation for what has happened before. This is how you do a sequel ten-fold and this is how you make a fucking good film. It feels like an 80's college (romantic comedy) movie at times, this is exquisite work. Landon, you are on my director watch list. I see your name, I'm getting excited from now on.
This movie should have been called STEM. That gives off a much more unsettling vibe.
I actually would rather not say much, because you should just experience Upgrade yourself. I was nearly in tears just fifteen minutes in, not expecting that. I rarely ever get emotional watching any film, let alone so early on. If you want Ex Machina, but melded together with the action of John Wick, in service of a story reminiscent of Death Wish, this is exactly the result. Leigh Whannel creates a carefully crafted, small, but satisfying "grindhouse" flick. I use quotations because the story is anything but something as low brow and shitty as a grindhouse, but the action certainly suits the genre. Much of the world building is tastefully kept to a bare minimum, or kept in just revealing of the technology, so the script stays centered on Grey Trace; this is something I very much appreciate. There's not a lot of jumping locations, or even that many characters, as doing so would only muddle up the tension and drama. This is a surprise that came out of nowhere. Whannel just comes out after Insidious: The Last Key and blows a great creative load. The choreography intermixed with the editing of Stefan Duscio's gorgeous camera work delivers a delightfully appealing show. Seek out one of only a thousand or so theaters that are carrying this. One of my unquestionable favorites of the year so far. Deadpool 2 has nothing on it.
I'll start off with a disclaimer: I've never played the 2013 re-boot of Tomb Raider, I'm not extensively familiar with the character outside her profession and appearance, but I am fan of the Indiana Jones films. The pointless warning set aside, looking at my enjoyment of the feature film as a stand-alone experience, it was mixed. I'm just relieved the movie isn't awful and is a step-up from sub-par "blockbusters" like Black Panther. So that there should tell you were I stand on it and if you're interested in seeing it. The biggest unfortunate misdeed this movie commits is how paint-by-the-numbers it colors, rarely trying to step outside the boundaries of the genre it's copying. No real innovation to distance itself from the likes of Raiders Of The Lost Ark for example, which it's very similar too. Instead of having her father explain the evil curse to another person, maybe to emotionally infuse the viewer to his character, they do a quick narration dump before the title screen. Cut to Lara's every-day life, and we get the Journey To The Center Of The Earth treatment. Learn about father doing much more than his business-life let on, go to hidden location, and adventure happens. There's this really pointless chase in Hong Kong with three burglars, which seemed cool at first, but after it was over, I realized it didn't add much to what was going on. Was it to show how poverty-stricken that area of town is? Hong Kong is full of scum-bags like them? Lara Croft is a self-reliant woman who can take care of herself? My guess it was to have a bit of action, I don't know, the scene just ends up with her meeting the person she was asking for. I must say, Daniel Wu's introduction is rather amusing, playing a drunkard sailor suits him.
But okay, the movie has the most predictable script ever, with a far more inciting history lesson just being a swappable farce, what does this movie do to be average instead of sixth-rate non-sense? A couple things, but the presentation and Junkie XL's score are two big ones. Ignoring the couple of embarrassing green-screen composites, lack of proper stunt-work, and heavy use of CGI in stretches, the direction is good. A slue of memorable and well-choreographed >muh vistas with great lighting, especially in darker locations. Roar Uthaug, never seen any of his other work, does a decent job, however credit most likely goes to George Richmond, known for doing Kingsman. But the single ingrediant Tomb Raider immediately excels is at Walton Goddamn Goggins. I've loved this man in every role I've seen so far, he never sucks. The second he comes into the picture, he steals everything. Every scene he's in he nails to a T. His character, Mathias Vogel, is not as developed as, say, Paul Freeman's Belloq from Raiders, and that's the only downside. You don't get to know why he's doing what he's doing or what he believes in what's going on, just that he has to do what he's doing. Essentially, Goggins is just doing an amazing performance for a henchman, so take that what you will, but he's great every frame he's on. I can't wait to see him be a villain in a Bond movie, it's going to happen eventually. The movie ends with a little twist and a sequel-grab, so yeah, Lara doesn't die, but everyone knew she wouldn't. Will I see it? I don't know. I hope they get a better script next time. It's nothing you haven't seen before, just with a semi-decent palette and couple stunning performances. If you were already excited to see it, go ahead, just keep your expectations low. It's alright.
Finally, a sensational and rousing comedy film that manages to make me laugh... hard... quite a few times. Diego Tutweiller has constructed a good list essay why Marvel movies and other such blockbusters have substandard humor in their writing. Check out the link and read just so you understand a little better. One attribute Diego didn't mention, which I've noticed happen more frequently, note Black Panther, is the cutting-out-the-music tactic. I'm sure you're all familiar with this move, even if you are consciously aware of it. Check this video from Cinemassacre, listing off his least-favorite movie clichés, he touches on the ever-popular stop-for-comedy tool all trailer editors use to make a joke hit harder than how they normally would. This is not an isolated technique only a few companies use, almost every comedy trailer in the past decade uses this. Even the trailer for Game Night is guilty. In the actual movie, that joke doesn't have that cut-away from the soundtrack. Not a fan of it, but it's the norm. The trouble is, this lazy method of "joke-telling" has seeped it's way into actual film productions. We don't even treat movies separate from trailers anymore, it's like now jokes in a movie are written specifically to be edited a way in the trailer. I don't have the clip now, because it's still in theaters, but Black Panther did this multiple times, very clearly. It bugged me when I saw it because I knew how cheap of an attempt at humor it was. It wasn't even a good joke, like, the hoth man just says, "We are vegetarians." It's the opposite of what you expected, and the dramatic music literally stops. It's bullshit.
But yeah, Game Night? Oh yeah, the movie I'm supposed to be talking about. It was great. One of the best constructed comedies of the past few years, it's amazing this comes from the same writer who did Herbie Fully Loaded and The Country Bears... yeah, I'm shocked. I don't know if it was sheer-luck or a lightbulb of genius one of the directors contracted, but the duo along with Mark Perez has strung together not just great reference-humor, but well-timed physical comedy, ironic meta bombs, and above-all else, believable and surprising-ly lovable characters. Jason Bateman and Rachel McAdams' duet is excellent and full of rich on-screen chemistry. They fit so well together, you forget you're watching actors say words. I wish I could meet them in person. (◕‸◕) The way they spout off trivia and one-liners alone makes a viewing worth it, these two sell the film themselves. But working alongside them, albeit less so, the supporting cast, including the dumb-ass Ryan played by Billy Magnussen, just adds even more appeal. There's a wonderfully timed scene, minor spoilers for a little joke here, he's handing a businesswoman dollar bills across the table. She wants a hundred dollars, Ryan first slides across a twenty, but as he keeps sliding new bills over, the amount of each one gets lower and lower and the pace he slides them gets slower and slower. The timing of the cuts was so brilliant, I dare say better than the similar joke in Hot Fuzz. It's a cute short skit, but had me laughing out loud with the other people in the theater. I feel explaining the gags would be a huge disservice to the experience, so I won't detail much more. The music is nicely presented, the movie is stylish (I love the way establishing shots make the citiy look like a game-board, that was a brilliant touch), the humor is creative and full of twists, and the cast is memorable as all hell. If you have the chance, check it out, you will be pleasantly surprised and full of joy, if you're like me burnt out on most main-stream humor.
Jesse Plemons is a treasure, his whole act with his ex-wife is some of the funniest shit I've seen in years.
Wow, this latest Jennifer Lawrence "movie" is a lifeless slog, complete with horrible, uninteresting leads, unrecognizable bland locations, improper direction, lack of an emotional connection, and feels like only an edgy teenager would consider "artsy" because it's slow and quiet. Who the hell made this?
looks up the director's filmography
Oh, that explains a lot.
I know I keep giving mainstream movies a hard time. We're living in an age where blockbusters, like Black Panther, are superficial and lazy committee projects used to sell products to the general public. But then on the other hand, you got this stuff like Red Sparrow that just turns off said masses from the more original and creative small projects. I know this isn't a small movie, but it's an original movie not tied to some cinematic universe. The issue is, this movie's a piece of shit. It's the dilemma Downsizing and It Comes At Night had with audiences: being lousy "art" movies that are miss-marketed to a mainstream demographic. Doing this shit is only driving people back to the "safe" movies made by Disney. When people are dropping over $10 on a ticket, your film better match up to that selling price. There's a reason Black Panther is winning the box office right now, because people would rather trust a certified movie like that, than take a risk with a shit movie like this. I guess my incoherent rambling just boils down to... stop making bad movies? I don't know, my mind is spinning right now. Black Panther is undeniably a more coherent and gratifying experience, so they got me there, but at the same time, it's barely above this. Quality control has definitely been abolished, I will say that. These studios view something like Red Sparrow as the answer to the pleading call from losers like me, for more original projects. So, they don't care what it is or how good, just that it's the answer. We're already on the road where the only profitable movies will be the spectacle Disney movies, full of action and product placement. They infect all the months around them, so none of the smaller movies stand any chance. Only the few meme movies that Reddit and the Oscars pick up stand a chance at making an impact. Why else does Chris Hemsworth keep choosing to play Thor instead of doing other movies? Because they don't make as much money, and most of them aren't good movies either. Maybe cinema has always been like this, a handful of movies each year are worthwhile and the rest just aren't.
Damn, that was slick!
I'm actually quite confused by the low ratings for this movie. What's inherently wrong with it? The biggest complaints I've heard against this was it's repetitive nature and reliance on jumpscares, and I'm going to have to disagree. It may have a little reliance on some horror cliches and the concept of a demonic being only being able to survive in darkness (unable to go into the light), but the way David F. Sandberg executes this concept is what makes this movie stand out. Why is no one talking about the brilliant scene with the cop firing at Diane, and each time the muzzle-flash goes off, Diane disappears for a fraction of a second. That was incredibly creative, and absolute badass film-making. Compared to some other horror films to come out in the past few years, I actually find this one to be more inventive and original than it's counter-parts. You want to talk about cliche? Go look at the incredibly over-praised The Conjuring. That movie has every single horror cliche in the book. You have an exorcism, a house with a demon in it, kids being terrorized, a mother getting possessed, etc. But in Lights Out, while there is a kind of "demon" haunting a family and some standard fare of walking around dark corridors, what transpires in the events are quite awesome. Also, the "demon," Diane, doesn't just lurk in the house, it follows anyone who's attached to the mother. But anyways, in one great scene, the boyfriend, Bret, is running out of the house down to his car at the end of the drive-way, he runs under a dark archway for a second and Diane manages to grab him quickly and lift him up in the air. He then grabs his car keys and unlocks the door, turning the headlights on and vanishing Diane, causing Bret to fall to the ground. Sandberg manages to take a already done idea and make it really fresh and a ton of fun. There is some darker moments in the story, particularly towards the end, and the movie plays out more as a drama, but there's plenty of shit happening to keep it engaging. I'm glad they didn't kill the boyfriend and there was no final scare. That's something I'm getting sick of in newer horror installments. This is easily Sandberg's best movie yet. He managed to take his short film and make it something awesome.
SPOILERS
For those taking this movie incredibly seriously and saying it has a bad message about killing yourself if there's a monster controlling you, let me tell you something:
Fuck off. This is a fucking horror movie. Looking for morals in something like this is legitimately autistic.
Fresh off of John Wick, David Leitch delivers basically a similar action gun-toting movie, but this time with a female lead, which worked fine. The use of martial arts more this time around added to the uniqueness the film had, enough to separate it from David's previous movies. But sadly, the few and far between action scenes can't make up for this incredibly slow and ultimately pointless movie.
I thought I was crazy when I walked out of this movie a little tired or bored of what I just watched, but it seems I'm not the only one. I originally was going to give this an above-average rating, but the more I thought it over, the more I realized how un-inventive and unoriginal and boring this was. I can't count how many times I was sitting in my chair waiting for this fucking movie to hurry up and just end. I'm never really given a reason to care about anything that's going on, or care about our lead, mostly because the movie makes no try to add charisma or an interesting shaded personality to our spy protagonist, Lorraine. She does have a nice sex scene about half-way into the movie, which attempts to add emotional quality to her character and the french spy, but there's something about Charlize's attitude and reaction to situations that just made her so detached and uninterested in anything going on. I didn't really care at all about what would happen to her, maybe partially to blame being the fact the whole movie is told through flashbacks, but I don't know. James McAvoy adds more charm to the movie and he was much more interesting to watch; the second he came on screen, I already became more interested in him than our lead. There's an attempt to add twists and double-crosses, and the story taking place around the Berlin wall collapse was kind of cool, but I was never full invested in this. I don't know why, maybe I was just tired, but this bored me almost all through. I will say, the long take staircase fight scene is wonderfully done, so props for that.
Also, do we have to rely on 80's nostalgia this heavily now? So many movies coming out now use a 1980's noir type aesthetic and matching soundtrack, filled with stuff like Queen. It's getting just a little old. I appreciate the movie's efforts to be unique, but the action is not anymore impressive than anything that's come out in the last 10 to 20 years. If you're curious to see the lesbian sex scene, check that out I guess, but the rest is rather boring. At least I got a chuckle out of John Goodman saying the word cocksucker.
I can't say much more than what other critics have said a million times before in the past 100 years or so, but damn, I forgot how revolutionary this film was. I saw the post-processed colorized version of the short feature, in my opinion the best version, and it absolutely blew me away how ambitious this was for 1902.
Let's see, we've got a basic structured narrative, which includes a beginning, a middle, and an end. We've got amazing special effects through use of practical sets, matte paintings, and in-camera tricks. We've got great performances that tell the audience the story and what the characters are feeling, without the use of dialogue. There's also some great composition with actors in the framing of what the camera could see.
The only shoddy special effects are some of the quick cuts (Because there wasn't any editing equipment back then), and actually, I find the rocket hitting the moon's eye to be the worst special effect of the film. The rocket appears much bigger in size than what it actually it is and the cut to the rocket hitting in the eye is too jarring. Otherwise, the movie has some great work with blending together smaller sets and in-camera tricks with the real actors.
Georges Méliès possibly revolutionized movies forever and I think everyone owes something to him. By today's standards, it's not the best movie ever created, but goddamn, at the time, it certainly was. A milestone in motion picture history. Everyone interested in movies has to at least watch it once.
"You're wearing a dress and have a talking animal sidekick. You're a princess."
'Moana' proves that the only division of the Disney company making quality products is Walt Disney Animation Studios. Pixar is busy doing sequels, Marvel is busy making as many stale movies as possible, and Disney is busy making live-action remakes.
While very predictable and a little slow at times, Moana boasts some amazing visual work. It's the closest we're going to get to seeing a CGI Hayao Miyazaki movie. Even the manta ray sequence seemed borrowed straight out of 'Ponyo', so yes, it's a very nice looking production. The characters are all likable, and I'm super glad the annoying sidekick animals did not take center stage to the movie, unlike other trash like Frozen. They come in when necessary and only have a few moments here and there, exactly how it should be. Moana is your standard protagonist yearning for more in life, but here, it's not about just going on an adventure and leaving her people, it's wanting to leave to find a way to help her dying island. She understands and accepts her responsibilities to becoming chief of her island, but also wants to leave to help save the world. It's a nice clever play on the archetype and it works.
Maui, played by the amazing Dwayne Johnson, is the hero character who thinks everyone adores him, but realizes he may not be the savior humanity used to view him as. Throughout his journey, he has to decide to whether help save the world and risk losing the powers which make him special, or stay where he is and thinks everyone still adores him. He was a fun character.
A little slow at times and very by the numbers throughout most of it, but it's still way better than most recent animated features. Hopefully Disney continues making more original films like this instead of more remakes...
A gripping, underrated horror film that relies on it's characters and old fashioned cinematography to step up it's game. Leonetti coming up being the camera operator for many old and new classic horror films like Poltergeist and The Conjuring, uses simple direction to his advantage. I miss horror using laidback tricks and basic blocking to deliver the scares, all too many now rely on stylish or even action choreography to create it's jumps, but Annabelle opts for looks that reminisce 70's and 80's horror, fitting for the story's time period. No offense to James Wan, but this is the best looking (and sounding) out of the Conjuring series. The leads and film's social commentary though are what really strike with me. Many fail to understand the point of the Annabelle trilogy, being it's all a story of the destruction of the family bond and even the nuclear family image. Repeatedly at the start of the film, it's made clear that times have changed, it's not okay to keep your doors unlocked anymore, and the innocence of the American family has been destroyed. The nail in the coffin is their attack by the occult members and a fire damaging the house, prompting the couple to leave it behind and have their newborn baby in an apartment. All a great metaphor for the changing times. The importance of religion to the story can not be understated, that every action has it's roots deep in biblical and satanic text, the film is built around the idea of the corruption of innocence, the separation of a mother from her child, and the sacrifice to save a life, even if it's resolution is twisted. God honors sacrifice, and our sacrifices touch God's heart, and move his hand. Something simple as the demon waiting for Mia at the end of a staircase, shrouded in black is an unforgettable image. I love the bevy of details like Mia trapped on the basement floor of her apartment, but the elevator won't go back up. She hits the floor 6 button 3 times, by which point, the demonic activity rapidly increases and she's forced to ascend the staircase herself. As Mia had stated earlier in the film to Father Perez, there are some things we have to do ourselves.
Man, these Trump 2020 campaign ads are getting pretty elaborate.
I don't know how to rate this right now. It feels like The Room 2.0. So hilariously partisan with it's image of what a right winger looks like, while basically telling a story how a racist, misogynistic guy goes off to shoot cuck porn because he's desperate for pussy. It's almost so bad and outlandish with it's acting and scripting that I was laughing a good portion through. If you don't take this seriously, which I don't know how you could, you can get some fun out of this. It's also a classic crux of, "Everything you said is wrong, but I'm not going to explain why," sort of thing. Not the obviously misogynistic parts and the bits of clear mental illness, but the politics. Ronnie as a character shows no growth and stays the same from the start, to the end, only changing is his incite to violence. The mindset lingers though, which begs the question how this is social commentary. The amount of people like this main character that exist are astronomically slim, you can't help but feel the writing suffers from an forced perspective. The music is at least decent. Lambert, you may be the next Tommy Wiseau.
