3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Nope’:
I kept waiting, and waiting, for this film to get good. For the moment when things kick into high gear and it earns that price of admission. For me, it never got there. It always teetered on the edge of something fun and edge-of-your-seat… but it remained uneventful despite its seemingly-momentous scenes.
The pacing was all sorts of wonky. It felt like there were a lot of disconnects here, a lot of questions. Scenes that went on too long. Unrealistic character reactions and decisions. My scalp is sore from all the head scratching. I just wish this were a more structured story with all the ideas it contained.
Great cast, but the character of OJ was incredibly bland and emotionally flat. A more compelling lead character may have risen this film above all its flaws.
Bonus Thought: What was the significance of the mysterious balancing shoe?
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Oppenheimer’:
Much of the film, particularly in the beginning, felt more like a montage than a movie. The scattered-ness of the scenes created a disconnect that made it difficult to absorb what exactly was going on.
Why the black and white? What purpose did that serve? I’ll probably find out at some point, but it’d be nice to know in real time.
I certainly didn’t expect Nolan to give us Oppenheimer for Dummies, but I really wish he would have. Performances were clearly impressive (I’m looking at you, Cillian), but they’re hard to fully appreciate when everyone is having rapid-fire conversations about fairly complex situations — and you’re too busy trying to keep up. This being my biggest qualm.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Talk to Me’:
It peaked with that brutal scene, when the game took a violent turn (I straight-up gasped), which was fairly early on, and the rest of the film never really reached that level of shock again.
Was it just me, or was the audio pretty awful? So many conversations were unclear. I couldn’t understand how the mom died. She took too many pills, on accident, and then clawed at the door? How does that work?
I really liked the concept of the hand (albeit somewhat confusing). And I think it’s interesting to see it used as some sort of party game. But when characters are dumb enough to revel in something so awful, it’s difficult to care about their fate. I wasn’t fully invested in them.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Halloween Ends’:
You’re tasked with creating a franchise-ending chapter of a legendary horror series with the iconic star/character that started it all, and this is what you put together? A “final” Halloween film that’s barely about Michael Myers. GTFO. Missed opportunities GALORE.
The relationship with Laurie and her granddaughter starts out healthy and promising. A nice setup for chaos to ensue. Two seconds later, Allyson is ready to ditch her family for a random dude. So many out-of-character moments that made zero sense.
This wasn’t the film to introduce (and focus on!) a character like Corey. Maybe mid-franchise this could have been done to mix things up a bit. Friday the 13th kinda sorta did that, where the killer wasn’t always Jason. But NOT this time, not when you’re touting a final face-off between Michael and his Final Girl. You’re setting your fans up for disappointment.
Bonus Thought: I’m officially pretending that this new trilogy never existed, back to when Laurie Strode was Michael’s sister and everything made sense.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Ghostbusters: Afterlife’:
The best parts of the movie were, hands down, all the nostalgia… the reunions, the music, and the easter eggs. And I thought the tribute to Harold Ramis was beautiful — and incredibly impressive.
I kinda hated the complete lack of any Ghostbusters 2 recognition.
It was a cute movie, and I enjoyed it, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed. I’ve been scratching my head to decipher what exactly was lacking… but, honestly, I just think the story itself is simply forgettable. It started out with potential, but ultimately wasn’t strong enough for such a legacy. I can appreciate revisiting Gozer, but it felt like a miss to me. I think I would’ve preferred more of an original story than what felt like a rushed rehash.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Don’t Look Up’:
Yeah, it was funny. But it was more scary and depressing, considering how it aligns way too closely with reality. And I know that was the point. They really did hit the nail on the head. This film is truly the black mirror of our country.
The random quick-shots of real-world moments were powerful. Interlaced with all the insanity, it did a great job depicting how wondrous and wild our lives can be on this beautiful planet — and how much we take for granted.
This was a great cast. Awesome to see the ever-talented Jennifer Lawrence again. Great performance from DiCaprio, which I’m sure was powered by his real-life passions. And I really do love Meryl in comedy. She’s so subtle and I’m here for it.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Saltburn’:
Wow, that was a journey. I wish I went in a little more blind. I definitely knew too much, but I was still very captivated by this story. It’s the kind that definitely lingers with you for a bit.
These two male leads. My goodness. First, Barry Keoghan is one helluva talent. That final scene is iconic. If it didn’t involve nudity, we’d be seeing it in future award show montages. He seemed fearless and absolutely nailed it. And to make me pity and cringe for Oliver one moment, and then rethink everything in a flash… masterful. Second… Jacob Elordi… lawd help me. That man overflows with such charisma and charm. And that voice. I fell in love with Felix too.
I have so many questions: Was everything part of the plan? Or was Oliver making decisions on-the-fly? Was he motivated by money and privilege? Or did he really desire companionship? Did he truly love Felix? I’d like to believe so. Because, before Felix discovered the truth, I believe he truly loved Oliver. Having a multitude of questions usually takes away from my experience, but I’m actually okay with these.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Fall’:
You reeeeeeeally have to suspend your disbelief watching this. These girls had the best upper body strength I’ve ever seen. But the moment that was the most difficult to swallow… a message on an iPhone, sent as text, immediately seen as not delivered, automatically sending when there’s signal.
It was fairly disappointing, at just a few minutes in, when we saw the interaction regarding a mysterious hand in Shiloh’s photo, that it was already a little predictable. It was clear that the hubby was a cheater. And Becky later took the news unrealistically well.
All the qualms aside, my body had a physical reaction to this movie. It spoke right to my fear of heights and did a solid job of freaking me out. My stomach was legit churning for much of the runtime.
Bonus Thought: I didn’t see that death coming. They got me there.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Disenchanted’:
I absolutely loved revisiting these characters — and Amy Adams nailed it once again — but this film failed them. The wicked stepmother premise was a fantastic idea, but the execution was ultimately disappointing and the plot got a little sloppy. Many things didn’t connect. (Why exactly was Giselle dying at the end???) And Dempsey’s character had a ridiculous, unnecessary arc.
That production value. Wow. The difference from the original film is a bit jarring. I know this was a straight-to-streaming project, but many films that go this route still feel like a cinematic experience. This felt like a mediocre episode of Once Upon a Time. It deserved better.
None of the music stuck. Again, in complete contrast to the original, zero songs were catchy. There was more than enough time to create a solid soundtrack.
Bonus Thought: Enchanted was a film with so much heart and humor. There were glimpses of it here, but SO much of that was missing. Super bummed fan here.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Elvis’:
The beginning of the film moved along at a verrry brisk pace, and not in the most effective way. Maybe it was meant to signify Elvis’ straight-shot to stardom, but I often had a difficult time keeping up. And I failed to truly grasp much of his journey because of it. A part of me feels as though story was sacrificed a little for style.
The most I learned about Elvis was towards the end, when things slowed down a bit. Gosh, these biopics are a punch in the gut. Even when you know what’s coming, your heart always seems to feel it for the first time. So tragic and sad. And I didn’t realize how young he was.
Austin. Butler. I didn’t looove the movie, but he was FANTASTIC. He had the Elvis voice DOWN. It’s not easy to channel a legend, and I believe he successfully did just that. He was superb, and I hope some awards come his way.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘The Beyond’:
Plot holes and continuity issues PLAGUED this movie. And I’m not just talking about unexplained mysteries and unanswered questions. I can deal with that. NONE of the relationships were established. I have no idea how any of these characters knew each other. Not a one. So why are we supposed to care them?
There was essentially no solid plot. It was a collection of random ghastly moments. You could probably loosely build a plot out of the haunted hotel that’s apparently a gate to hell, but we the viewer shouldn’t have to.
The atmosphere and practical effects were fantastically effective. From the high-pitched, jarring squeaks of the gurney to the cringey sounds of the gnawing spiders. Properly discomforting. And New Orleans is always fun for horror. If only these awesome moments were properly connected, there could’ve been something great here.
Bonus Thought: John not catching on to the zombie headshot method was INFURIATING.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Invasion of the Body Snatchers’:
That “pod birth” scene in the garden was especially grotesque. A reminder that we need more practical effects in our cinematic lives.
WTF was that human/dog hybrid thing about?! That sure came outta nowhere.
All in all, it was a classic worth seeing. The story and the whole “snatching” process felt a little disjointed at times, something more recent renditions of the “pod people” story accomplished better. But a great cast made up for it.
3 Thoughts After Re-Watching ‘Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’:
Still equally uncomfortable and absolutely hysterical to this day.
The scene — THAT one — is still absolutely nauseating to this day.
SO excited for the sequel this month! But the bar has been set pretty damn high.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Color Out of Space’:
I cannot — for the life of me — understand how this has such a high Rotten Tomatoes score. There was absolutely nothing redeemable about it. I am exceedingly perplexed.
I gave it a single extra point for some grotesque ‘The Thing’-like moments. And because there has to be worse movies than this. Right?
Where was the plot here? From the narration in the beginning to the one at the end, nothing connected each moment to the next. Random weirdness, even when it includes Nicholas Cage, is not entertainment. I just wanted it to end.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘I’m Thinking of Ending Things’:
I was beyond excited to see this after reading the book — a book that kept me on edge and creeped out the entire time. The ending was wild and left a lot up for interpretation. I was hoping the film would address so many of my questions. Instead, it became something I ultimately didn’t even care about. An awful adaptation.
The insight I had from the book kept me watching the film. I can’t even comprehend how ANYONE who didn’t read the book could make it all the way through, let alone understand how everything was connected.
The best parts of the book (yes, I can’t help but keep comparing) were the horror elements. These were completely removed. I’m all for a reimagining, but for the better. There was so much potential here. And with incredible talent. All lost.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘A Clockwork Orange’:
What a journey. I’m not entirely sure what I just watched, or what I think about it. But I’m definitely intrigued by Kubrick’s twisted mind.
I kept waiting for the moment when I realized the reason for the film’s title. It never came.
McDowell kept reminding me of Evan Peters the entire time.
My Review of ‘Joker’ in 3 Sentences:
This is the most terrifying Joker I’ve ever seen.
This is the saddest Joker I’ve ever seen.
I wouldn’t be opposed to Joaquin reprising this for Pattinson’s Batman.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Swallowed’:
This film managed to be a whole lotta nothing and a bit too much at the same time.
This was NOT horror. And I feel like the poster is a little deceiving.
There are some definite biological inaccuracies here lol. Those were the quickest and cleanest treks through the digestive track I’ve ever witnessed.
Bonus Thought: Mark Patton is absolutely ridiculous in this. “You done dick-teased the wrong queen, bitch.” Peak cinema.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Would You Rather’:
I’m no medical expert, but I wouldn’t expect being whipped in the back to be fatal. And why would he voluntarily remove his jacket beforehand?!
So much here was quite random and pointless. The doctor going to the house… everything with the crazy son… all fairly unnecessary.
The ONLY thing worthy of any praise in this film would be the ending. That was actually pretty messed up, and I didn’t see it coming.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’:
It was silly and cute. Very “John Waters-lite.” Perfect for Pride Month.
I feel like it could have ended with more of a bang. There were so many comedic and absurd moments, and it all ended on sheer and utter predictability. There was definitely a lost opportunity for one final ridiculous punchline.
I was hoping all the characters would revert to their fully queer selves in the end. I wanted RuPaul and Eddie Cibrian to go at it. I even wanted to see Mary Brown embrace her inner lesbian. For all the parents at the graduation to lose their minds. Anything! (see Thought No. 2)
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes’:
This film made me an INSTANT fan of a) Tom Blyth (get a buzzcut and marry me, please) and b) Rachel Zegler (that voice!). I truly can’t wait to see more of them — and I know Rachel is gonna be a fantastic Snow White!
I would love to see more of Dr. Volumnia Gaul! Viola Davis was brilliant in this role. A standout performance for sure.
I thought this was a great expansion of the mythology. It was fun seeing an early and “flawed” Hunger Games system (and its messy host lol) and why it went in the direction it did.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘The Poughkeepsie Tapes’:
I couldn’t wait for it to end. The acting was PAINFUL. And the story… it seemed like they made of list of the most shocking scenarios, peppered them throughout the movie, and hoped for the best.
The scariest part was the opening credits with the eerie music.
Maybe if the killer spoke less and didn’t dress like the Phantom of the Opera, I would have found him a little more terrifying.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Strange Way of Life’:
I struggle to find the purpose of this.
As a Pedro Pascal-devoted gay myself, I just couldn’t get into their relationship. I don’t know if it was the complete lack of chemistry or the silly lines like “I know how to dry myself,” but I could NOT take them, or this short, very seriously. The poster doesn’t help.
The biggest contribution this short gave to the world of cinema is a little Pedro booty.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Monkey Man’:
I haven’t seen fight scenes this amazing in a very, very long time. Some of the absolute best, and they kept me on the edge of my seat. Brutal and so badass.
Dev Patel. Looking sexy AF. And the fact that he directed this film — where style seamlessly meets substance — makes him a whole lot sexier. Spectacular job.
I love love love that there was trans representation in this! AND that they literally kicked a whole lotta ass. Again, if I couldn’t love Dev Patel any more (see thought #2).
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Boy Kills World’:
This movie was such a hodgepodge of things. Part Hunger Games. Part Kill Bill. Part The Boys, even. I’m not sure that’s the best mix, but what saves this from being a disaster is that it doesn’t take itself very seriously and leans more into being a comedy. Sheer mindless entertainment.
The action and fight scenes were definitely impressive, but the shots (and even the movie itself) were so frenetic and fast, that they were often hard to fully appreciate.
My two favorite things were the silly interior dialogue and — of course — the insanely hot (and super frickin’ ripped) Bill Skarsgård.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Hell House LLC Origins: The Carmichael Manor’:
Look at Hell House LLC trying to be all MCU with their post-credits scene teaser. I’m definitely down for more.
This film singlehandedly elevated the franchise with MUCH better acting (the best of all four films) and a cohesive, uncomplicated storyline that expands upon the lore… even though said lore could still use a bit of tweaking. There’s still a ton of potential left in this series if it keeps on going in this direction.
I’m probably rating it higher than it might deserve, but I found it overall effective as a fully-rounded found-footage horror film. When “Chase’s final recording” appeared, I was totally unsettled.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire’:
Russell Wynn is a total hottie.
The acting improved a liiiiiiittle in comparison to the previous chapter… but literally everything else failed miserably. What could have been a deeper dive into the mythology turned into a total joke. The production value tanked. The found footage element was a thing and then it wasn’t. It started out in documentary style… and that went away at some point. The “happy ending” came out of NOWHERE. It just wasn’t good.
If I could praise anything here, I would give kudos for the attempt in keeping these three films connected, even bringing the whole original cast back. There IS somewhat of a continuity to appreciate.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Hell House LLC II: The Abaddon Hotel’:
The only redeeming qualities of this film are the expansion of the mythology, which actually has a shred of something compelling at its core… though it may prove difficult for these films to navigate towards it… AND the hotel itself. It’s a solid scary movie setting, and I appreciate that it maintains the setup from the original, when other sequels tend to change up things completely. All in all, this is enough for me, as I’m a sucker for haunted house stories.
In order to enjoy this one, you MUST see past the atrocious acting. Yikes, it gets rough. And good golly, miss Molly is the worst. Alex too.
HOW does Mitchell recognize Tully in the hotel, but not during the interview? Go ahead and cast actors who could use a little more training, but AT LEAST keep the story intact.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘In a Violent Nature’:
Obvious points are given for the showcase of very creative kills and flipping the script on the generic slasher formula. It was cool to “overhear” conversations from what would have been the main cast and see a horror film unfold from that perspective.
The pacing is what killed it a little for me. I can appreciate the artistic approach… taking the time to paint a certain picture… but I can only watch little Johnny getting his steps in for so long.
That last (and ridiculously long) bit of dialogue was unnecessary and gave us a major womp-womp of an ending. It tried very, very hard to create a thoughtful comparison between the mindless violence in nature and our main monster’s journey. But, in my opinion, it ultimately fell flat.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Hell House LLC’:
There was no new ground broken here. This particular road was paved long ago by The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity. But what I really enjoyed with this movie was the WAY the story was told… how all the details unfolded, the documentary style, the full circle reveal. Again, this wasn’t necessarily primo filmmaking, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t supremely sucked in to the mystery of it all.
I’m not always a fan of endings that are left open for interpretation, mysteries that aren’t fully explained… but I’m kinda okay with it here. We didn’t really get ANY answers, but I feel we were given enough story to be intrigued by what was missing, as opposed to being solely frustrated by it. But I do wanna know more!
I thought it was pretty creepy! The scares were super subtle but effective. A few “blink-and-you’ll-miss-it” moments. No reliance on crazy effects. An eerie setting worthy of some quality Halloween viewing. And one super freaky mask. I’m here for it.
