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Private Notes
This week: A fundamental misunderstanding of robbery etiquette, why you don't run from the TSA after they already have your ticket and a man who desperately needs a hobby ...
This week: Why putting your phone in your back pocket isn't ideal in a robbery, things you shouldn't loudly announce to law enforcement and an airboat takes to the streets ...
This week: a lesson in parenting from the guy who stole your car, the worst first day at work ever and how one Japanese man became the God of Toilets ...
This week: If you drive to Jack in the Box in an ambulance, you're just cutting out the middleman. Also: the terrible things that lie in wait for you in Florida, and the most fired loss-prevention office in Kroger's history ...
This week: Maybe finish arguing your case in front of the judge before you get to the fornication. Also when tax breaks go horribly wrong and a six million dollar jacket ...
This week: An emergency alert asks residents to be on the lookout for possessed dolls, the ultimate in "that's not mine, officer" and if you think your landlord is bad then do we have a story for you ...
This week: Firearm? Shower curtain rod? Same thing! Also this week: when fake IDs go wrong, and what happens when the guy who stole your truck is in the LAPD? Well, stupid things, actually ...
This week: You'll find amazing things at a thrift store ... some of them felonies! Also when your job is robbery maybe you should nap before you head to work, and the ridiculous lengths two old white dudes go through to prove you're not the boss of them ...
This week: A novel approach to "gotta catch 'em all," hustle culture takes a turn for the worse and it turns out your coworkers really don't like when you throw fire at them, who knew ...
This week: a Whopper of a social media disaster, Bath and Body Works adds a new "B" for "Beatdown," and we all learn a little something about anatomy and trampolines ...
This week: Pastrami on rye, hold the firearms! Also a man gives officers a unique form of identification and a test drive turns into a long, slow series of idiotic failures ...
Thank you all for your patience and support as we care for our dog Loki with his initial cancer diagnosis.
This week: "It's Nerf or nothin" takes on a whole new meaning, the most popular name in Taiwan becomes "Salmon" and it seems that Pennywise has moved to Florida ...
This week: My "I was there for the insurrection" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt. Also how YouTube cooking tutorials brought down a fugitive and the absolute worst pizza to go to jail over ...
This week: We're all in terrible danger ... April Fools! Also it doesn't matter how much you spent to go to Disneyland if you're bringing your entitlement with you, and how "I need documents" turned into "I'm risking my life on an illegal ski trip" ...
This week: We're back! Thank you for all your patience during a difficult time. And now here's a bumbler on Bumble, a very weird cop who needs to learn how to shop online and a stolen Doritos truck!
This week: A man gets so mad at customer service that he receives a visit from the FBI, when your temper gets the better of you (and the garbage bags of contraband in your trunk) and sometimes, man ... sometimes you just want eggs, man.
This week: Steal one car, shame on me. Steal another car in less than an hour ... Also this week, a homecoming queen turns out to have hacked her way into the crown and a funeral for an ex-boyfriend turns into an impromptu Frogger LARP ...
This week: "How do you do, fellow kids?" comes to life in the saddest way possible, we take a trip to the Nimrod Bar (no really that's the actual name I'm not kidding) and a couple try to get their stolen truck back with an imaginary baby ...
This week: A woman "test drives" every car on the lot (and they all have to be sanitized), "when the edibles kick in" takes on an explosive new meaning and forcing a plane to land for the want of a phone charger ...
This week: Luke from Rocked joins us to look at a man who could make a Homeowner's Association seem chill, a woman who takes a walk on the wild side (by jumping in the monkey enclosure) and you will never regret as much in your life as you will stealing a military vehicle ...
This week: Dominic Noble joins us to look at why criminals need literacy, an ill-thought advertisement becoming fertile ground for conspiracy and the new "fecal theory" of political discourse ...
This week: We discover our biggest fan ever (yes that's a pun no I'm not sorry), why you probably shouldn't hand the police your contact info as you're flying a plane directly at a crowd and probably the worst place to hide while evading authorities ...
This week: a bank accidentally gives a customer one billion dollars and she can't reach customer service to return it, when you try to conceal your stolen U-Haul but you don't even cover the logo, and when even $15 an hour isn't enough to deal with what the customers have done ...
This week: If you're calling to ask why the police didn't arrest you, you're probably getting arrested. Also it's important when stealing a boat to consider if the body of water it occupies has an exit, and one man's fury over dipping sauce becomes a felony ...
This week: Luke from Rocked joins us and immediately regrets it. A woman decides to join a parade with her tractor, whether they want her to or not. Also: when someone takes "baby, you're a firework" way too literally and what happens when your side gig on Amazon turns into a town-evacuating emergency ...
This week: The ol' game of "that doesn't go there" gets explosive, living in the perfect time to wear a mask and still screwing it up, and stopping in the middle of crimes to grab a Big Mac ...
This week: Winning an internet arguement by leaking classified documents, a novel way to close Knott's Berry Farm early and when dad jokes go horribly wrong ...
This week: The show's 21 years old, and yet it's the audience who wants a drink! We have cartoon hijinks brought (badly) into the real world, "the dog did it" only it's mass destruction and a would-be good Samaritan is caught on camera being a bad egg ...
This week: "I wonder what's inside your butthole" takes a dark turn, maybe don't rob the bank where you're a regular customer and who needs lawnmowers when you can just use fire?
This week: Acting a fool at 30,000 feet (complete with duct tape), a Florida man finds a spiny surprise in his bathroom and can you intimidate a jaguar? No. No, you cannot.
This week: Never bring a refrigerator to a gunfight. Also the cutthroat world of Digimon heists and if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in jail ...
This week: Find out how incredibly stupid your personal pharmacist might be! Also fun with mystery chemicals and trying to use the Magna Carta as a pretext for claiming Edinburgh Castle several centuries after the fact ...
This week: is that a cell phone in your pocket or are you pants going to explode? Also the worst HR manager in history, and when something smells good at the storage facility it's time to alert the authorities ...
This week: Tell me you failed preschool without telling me you failed preschool. Also an entirely different kind of "indecent proposal" and a man flees in terror from his own CD player ...
This week: A teacher completely fails her understanding of both Rosa Parks and iodine, landmines in Florida and when they said you could plug the cable in no matter which side was up this isn't what they meant ...
This week: a FedEx driver discovers the power of FA/FO, a day out of jail finds a man asleep atop a pile of chicken fingers and you can't regulate online morality with explosives and polka dots ...
This week: 911 is not for potty emergencies, sir. Also when you have to move a plane but you also want to get home early and no, it's not a repeat, the gamers leaked classified documents again ...
This week: A man uses 911 for a less-than-savory kind of self care, a front loader proves to be a poor accomplice to robbery and stealing a helicopter? How hard could it be?
This week: When you're trying to make a quiet getaway, maybe don't bring the machete and the clown mask. Also when the telemarketers are so bad you get declared a missing person, and the $57,000 Pokemon felony ...
It's that time again! Nash and Tara look at the best of the worst of provocative costumes from this horrible year of our lord 2021 AD!
This week: Sure as night follows day, after every Halloween comes the report of a single horrible costume choice. Also this week, maybe steal the getaway vehicle that actually has a means of propulsion and don't make me drunk. You wouldn't like me when I'm drunk ...
This week: When there's a guy without pants stuck in your walls, who you gonna call? Also the worst possible reaction to trick-or-treaters and a solution for cobwebs that actually solved the need for homeowners' insurance ...
This week: Always remember not to use correction fluid on your "death certificate." Also getting way too excited about mediocre pizza and why you should always wear shoes in the airport ...
This week: A dine-and-dasher who doesn't know how to dash, Dunning-Kruger meets MacGyver and a story that might keep you from ever ordering delivery again ...
This week: Straw gathers, and now my watch begins: the Gävle Goat has risen again! Luke from Rocked joins us! Also this week, Black Friday returns in hideous new form, and he thrusts his fists against the hood because his brain is not that good ...
This week: We find out why "St. Patrick: The Home Game" was a poor holiday gift, how using a fake arm won't let you bypass a mandate and why a flamethrower is a poor negotiation tool ...
This week: 48 is the new 22, and if you doubt it we've got proof. Plus we found the one person in America who loves Wendy's fries and why giving a false name when you run from your big rig in your birthday suit probably won't work ...
This week: sad news for goat fans, good news for humanity! Also trying to block dangerous radio waves with good ol' ionizing radiation, and if you didn't get your presents this year it might be because the FedEx guy dumped them in the woods ...
This week: It's the Rectalspective! We find out who put what in where in 2021, and the results are as horrifying as they are hilarious ... okay maybe more horrifying than hilarious ...
