3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Dashcam’:
Was that supposed to be funny?
This movie — the longest 80 minutes of my life — can be summed up in one word: repulsive. From all the unnecessary body fluids to the most intolerable main character I have EVER seen on film. And those end credits?! REPULSIVE.
As a horror story, it doesn’t matter that there might have been some decent elements. In addition to this watch being all kinds of unpleasant, nobody could possibly wrap their mind around the reality that NOBODY would continue to film that insanity. The plot didn’t even try making an excuse for using that phone for anything other than calling for help. Absolutely ridiculous.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Spree’:
This was just not good. There was SO much that took me out of it… the ridiculously unrealistic and over-the-top characters… the bad acting….the various ways it was shot… the onslaught of text to read… the frenzy of awful music. It just wasn’t an enjoyable ride at all… no pun intended.
Keery is charming and charismatic for sure — which was to be expected — but it wasn’t quite enough to save this frenetic mess.
David Arquette as the dad felt like an unnecessary waste of time. I didn’t get father/son vibes from them whatsoever. So odd, as if they just wanted to add a big name to this project.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Sissy’:
Those were some interesting music choices. Not terrible. Interesting.
Aisha Dee did an incredible job inspiring sympathy from us while also being absolutely insane. She did unhinged very well.
I went in blind and had no idea where this was going… until I knew exactly where everything was going. A point off for some mild predictability.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Eden Lake’:
This movie was flat-out infuriating. Not only because this couple had 437 opportunities to avoid what transpired, but also because the main antagonist never got the comeuppance we were eagerly holding our breath for. Major ugh.
I was okay with the ending, as bleak as it was. Did I understand that closing scene? Not so much. But I guess I can appreciate the fact it wasn’t an ending I saw coming.
If I watched my soon-to-be husband get repeatedly stabbed and take a razor blade to the tongue, best believe I wouldn’t just stand there like an incapacitated clown. (see thought one)
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Sick’:
This one is a bit tricky to rate because, while I can appreciate the creative take on 2020, and the way they made it into a solid slasher film, the COVID-ness of it all just felt a little silly to me. It also wasn’t fun to relive that moment in time.
I thought the reveal of multiple killers was cool. Didn’t see that coming.
The acting was good. I thought the leads were fantastic. I just wish the characters were a little more fleshed out. It was a fairly short film and I feel like they could have used a little more time to make us care a little more.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘M3GAN’:
Mindless fun and nothing more. And the reason why it’s nothing more comes down to predictability and the Child’s Play of it all. We’ve simply been down this road before.
A pressure washer to the face is pretty inventive.
That dance might have been the scariest part of the movie.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘The Exorcist III’:
The creepy voices were the true stars here. Very reminiscent of the original.
Decent continuation story here, along with some genuinely eerie visuals. Weird editing at times. But the real downer of the film, for me, was the excessive exposition. They spent so much time explaining so much of what we already suspected. Felt wasteful.
Brad Dourif’s performance was particularly impressive.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Watcher’:
I don’t think I’ve ever heard so much knocking in a single film.
Very Rear Window. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the inspiration. It was a story about paranoia more than anything. Even had some It Follows elements, funny enough. All in all, it was an okay ride, but I was left with wanting something more.
She better dump his ass.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Speak No Evil’:
Daddy really needed to grow a pair. Frankly, the whole family could’ve tried a little harder at the end there. Kinda frustrating. But the father truly failed everyone… particularly for going on the trip in the first place, but especially for turning around for that effing stuffed animal.
Is it just me, or did Bjørn kinda wanna fire up that Dutch oven? (the Dutch oven being Patrick)
Boy was that a slow burn, which I never mind… as long as there’s payoff. And the ending was especially messed up, albeit frustrating (see Thought 1)… but my quandary is over the point of it all. I just wish I knew more of the Dutch couple’s motives. Otherwise a solid flick.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘When Evil Lurks’:
Well, these characters went about things ALL sorts of wrong, didn’t they?
Major points here for shock value and practical effects. They didn’t really hold back, for sure. There were some pretty incredible visuals and I can honestly say this was probably one of the more unpredictable horror movies I’ve ever seen.
What stops this from being superb, in my opinion, is the mythology. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it. You can do so much with it — and they did! But it felt incomplete and contradictory at times. Quite a few holes. For one example, why did the first little girl come back appearing unscathed, while the mother didn’t? And the differences between the “rotten” and “possessed,” along with the seven rules, didn’t seem entirely clear. Lastly, from the looks of the ending, they should’ve just done the deed at the start of the film. Because everything seemed pretty chill and finite at the end. It was the in-between that did them all dirty. No?
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Princess Mononoke’:
Is this not practically the same storyline as Avatar? I wouldn’t be surprised if Cameron found inspiration here.
The little tree spirit Kodamas were kinda eerie but super cute. And the fact that they had buttcheeks inspired a chuckle or two.
I dunno, y’all… I know this is beloved… I am understandably in the minority here… I can respect the art, the symbolism and the message… but this type of storytelling is just not my cup of tea. It just all feels a bit convoluted, there’s soooo much going on, characters are not fully fleshed out. And it’s all simply too fantastical for me to become invested enough to care.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Saltburn’:
Wow, that was a journey. I wish I went in a little more blind. I definitely knew too much, but I was still very captivated by this story. It’s the kind that definitely lingers with you for a bit.
These two male leads. My goodness. First, Barry Keoghan is one helluva talent. That final scene is iconic. If it didn’t involve nudity, we’d be seeing it in future award show montages. He seemed fearless and absolutely nailed it. And to make me pity and cringe for Oliver one moment, and then rethink everything in a flash… masterful. Second… Jacob Elordi… lawd help me. That man overflows with such charisma and charm. And that voice. I fell in love with Felix too.
I have so many questions: Was everything part of the plan? Or was Oliver making decisions on-the-fly? Was he motivated by money and privilege? Or did he really desire companionship? Did he truly love Felix? I’d like to believe so. Because, before Felix discovered the truth, I believe he truly loved Oliver. Having a multitude of questions usually takes away from my experience, but I’m actually okay with these.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘No One Will Save You’:
If there were a recipe for this film, it’d consist of the following ingredients: Signs, Home Alone, Hush, and Body Snatchers.
I was equally impressed and annoyed by the lack of dialogue. Yeah, it most certainly elevated the story and made it fairly unique. But it also took me out of it sometimes, when I just wanted her to use her words, particularly when she went into town looking for help and thought silence would be beneficial.
I’ll avoid spiraling down the annoying rabbit hole of what all actually happened, and instead mention that I kinda wish the aliens had a less stereotypical look. Maybe something a bit more menacing and original.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘The Menu’:
He was definitely channeling Voldemort at times, trading in his cloak for an apron.
I enjoyed the doses of humor peppered throughout. No pun intended. “Tyler’s Bullshit,” in particular, was an unexpected hoot.
It was an entertaining journey of a film, but I can’t help shake the thought that they could have tried a liiittle harder to escape.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Pearl’:
X introduced me to Mia Goth. And while that film marked a discovery, Pearl is a total exploration of her talent. Mia carried the full weight of this movie, and I’m pretty sure it would’ve been fairly “meh” without her performance. And that prolonged smile at the end deserves some kind of award.
Two words: David Corenswet. My lawd. Charisma overload. He’s going to make a fine Superman.
Now I know why she doesn’t like blondes.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘X’:
I don’t think a modern horror film has ever reminded me SO much of the old school ones from the ‘70s and ‘80s. Yet somehow it still managed to feel fresh.
I went into this pretty blind and had no clue where things were going or what kind of movie it wanted to be, especially during the “Landslide” scene. That was different.
Jenna Ortega has truly mastered the slasher movie scream.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Leave the World Behind’:
Gosh, how much I’ve missed Julia Roberts.
I almost forgot how much I love Sam Esmail. I was enamored straight out of the gate here, hooked right away. His direction, the way he frames everything, the way he builds tension, the use of music, how all these characters had constant, quality, well-developed interactions with each other… he’s a genius. So much talking and I was never bored. Not for a minute. Now I need him to write/direct a horror film. Can you even imagine?
As the buildup progressed, and the story headed towards its unfathomable conclusion, I worried more and more that it wouldn’t stick the landing. But it most definitely did.
Bonus Thought: The Thornes know what’s up with that Buffy collection. I’d be all set lol.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Silent Night’:
Well that was a bleak and depressing watch. Not only did it all feel a bit hopeless… in the end, it felt a bit pointless too.
I’m all for not giving up. I wouldn’t have taken the pill either.
Was I the only one who saw that ending coming a mile away?
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘P2’:
I constantly found myself thinking… how the hell did he ever get that job?
The game of chicken was a little ridiculous.
It’s a surface-level plot. Very You. Not a masterpiece, but it held my attention thanks to the two leads. I kept waiting for it to ramp up a bit more (I was hoping she would get even more badass after the axe discovery), and then it ended. Didn’t hate it tho.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S/85’:
The technology story was so stupid, and basically the worst piece of this collection.
I thought it was cool how they ended one tale, only to bring it back later in another. Didn’t see that coming — and that’s always nice.
One thing that I’ve grown to appreciate with this franchise is that — while there are some hits and maybe even more misses — I’ve noticed a decent amount of originality and out-of-the-box thinking with these stories. Was this chapter mind-blowing? No. But I didn’t feel like my time was wasted.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Wish’:
Gaston officially has a rival for the sexiest Disney villain.
My first major thought is how I don’t understand the disdain this film has been getting. This was a solid Disney story. A touching standalone fairytale, with great characters, gorgeous animation, and those signature Disney tunes. Yeah, there were a lot of Easter eggs. I loved ‘em. This is clearly a love letter to Disney history, to the man himself, and I was moved by it.
“Knowing What I Know Now” is a certified bop. And I was giving ALL the snaps when the queen joined in.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Black Friday’:
It’s so unfortunate, because this could have been something really fun, the makings of a holiday horror classic even, but this film was horrifically made. Everything about it — from the writing to the directing to the editing to the scoring — was poorly executed. Sawa deserved better.
So many silly character decisions. For example, how did Bruce Campbell jumping into a pile of seemingly-contained monsters benefit anyone? It didn’t. At all. So silly.
I know we don’t always need a point. We didn’t necessarily need to know the aliens’ motive. We didn’t need to know exactly why they possessed people to surround a mysterious blob with toy products. But MAYBE knowing would’ve made this better.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Thanksgiving’:
I don’t think I’ve ever rooted for a cast of survivors any less. Maybe that was the point. Maybe it’s because these characters just weren’t memorable whatsoever. Maybe it’s because he took time to feed the cat.
This very badly wanted to be the next Scream / I Know What You Did Last Summer. So many parallels.
I’ll give it points for entertaining, over-the-top kills and a unique premise. Points off for a predictable killer reveal.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S/99’:
I kinda couldn’t wait for it to end.
It all just felt incredibly amateur, more so than any other entry in this franchise. The skeletons in the first couple vignettes were something straight out of a Spirit Halloween. The game show story, while properly evoking 90s Nickelodeon, was otherwise absurd in so many ways. It all just gave a high school project vibe.
The last tale came close to being an original, standout piece, and redeemed the film a smidge, but much of its humor didn’t land and could have never saved the film as a whole.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S/94’:
Better than the last one for sure, thankfully due to a return to form. Looks like Shudder salvaged this series.
I wish that once, just once, that the wraparound central story wasn’t the worst story. The SWAT thing was silly and the acting was atrocious.
That funeral home tale was particularly creepy, and probably my fave.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S: Viral’:
Wow, that was absurd. Where V/H/S/2 improved upon the franchise’s formula, this third entry completely obliterates it. This isn’t a found footage anthology. This is a mess.
That whole party scene, where the dog gets impaled by a fork yet is seemingly unaffected, is particularly and pointlessly ridiculous.
The ONLY thing that showed any semblance of promise was the parallel universe segment. There was an inkling of cohesive creativity there.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S/2’:
This sequel took everything that was wrong with the first one and completely fixed it. This is a solid horror anthology worth recommending.
I wish the central story provided more insight into the lore of the tapes, and wasn’t just used as a vehicle to tell the tales. Still, this is a major improvement from the original.
Was there anything especially groundbreaking here? Not really. (Though I’m not sure I’ve ever seen the POV of a zombie before.) But I would say all the stories were equally entertaining, well-acted, and there was a decent variety.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘V/H/S’:
As a fan of found footage films, I was intrigued by the idea of a found footage anthology. But this kinda felt like found footage overload.
It would’ve been nice if the central plot came together and tied up everything a bit more. I thought it was strange to end on yet another story.
The tales themselves were pretty mediocre and suffered from some subpar performances. A couple fairly-surprising twists here and there, even some nifty visuals in the final story, but there was nothing that stood out enough for me to recommend this to another found footage fan.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Cure’:
I’m confused and annoyed.
Mamiya and his stupid questions. Whether integral to the plot or not, it was equivalent to whiny kids in the backseat incessantly repeating “are we there yet?”. It got old very fast.
So much, maybe a bit too much, left up for interpretation. As I struggle to piece together what I just watched, I simultaneously struggle to care. For what it’s worth, I wasn’t bored.
3 Thoughts After Watching ‘Deadstream’:
This isn’t the first time we’ve seen a “live-streaming my night in a haunted house” story, but there is some originality here, mostly found in its solid dose of humor.
My only qualms with the film were a fair amount of predictability and a bit of overacting. I saw a lot coming.
It did get pretty ridiculous, but it worked. It was almost a parody of “found footage” films. Never meant to be taken seriously. Spooky, mindless entertainment.
